Why you shouldn't celebrate X'mas

I think we all know 'tis the season.

Only thing to ask is 'tis the season of what?

I think that 'tis the season to start mugging. After all with school reopening in slightly less than two weeks' time - as this is already Tuesday afternoon - I think it's about time we all start hitting the books. You could take it literally, as I already find it a chore to hit the books, which is buried under a whole lot of soccer magazines and a stack of newspapers I told myself to read but never got down to it. Then when the karung guni came I just couldn't let the offer pass.. so I think you kind of know the state that I'm in.

In any case, Christmas is just round the corner. Saturdays are mostly corners because they signal the start of the weekend. As Christmas is on Sunday, I figured it had to be around the corner.

And a lot of people seem to be in the mood. I don't get it. What's so good about X'mas?

Perhaps you are a Christian and get lots of gifts, then you might have a reason to. But for non-Christians, like all of us blogging here, there is nothing much to look forward to.

Public holiday (?)
It's true that Christmas is a public holiday, but who needs a public holiday when it is already school holidays? I'd only appreciate Christmas if it was in the middle of July. Public holidays only make public areas more clogged up and gangsters will flood the local street soccer court to come challen you. Does that sound very good? I don't think so.

Festive mood (?)
Everyone's celebrating and so we should as well? That's like the blind leading the blind. Of course, that is only an analogy and in any case, I don't want to be a party spoiler. But Orchard gets a bit too rowdy on Christmas Eve. Hah - and in Chinese it's called 平安夜 - the irony. Do you find Orchard Road peaceful on Christmas Eve? Hell no, crowd trouble comes into mind and the whole place just serves to piss you off. Oh, plus the surfacing of New Age Robbers, things really couldn't get much worse.

Presents (?)
As mentioned earlier, Christians will receive presents for this occasions, would they not? Well, they could encourage non-Christians to do the same. But to receive presents, you first must give. It's only logic that you must give and take. And it's only polite to do so. Problem here lies in what present to give - requires lots of brain cells, and the thing about presents you must give someone a present of equal value. You can't lose out, but nor can you take advantage because people will think you're cheapskate. If your present costs less than the one you are receiving, then you might think "oh shit - now my reputation would be that of a miser." If your present costs more than the one you are receiving, then you might think - "f**k. kena jack!"

So either way it isn't very good. Either way there's some element of JACK somewhere.

Now having rebutted the "good" points of X'mas, let me bring you some bad points.

Presents
As mentioned earlier, you spend money buying them. You also spend time, and time is money. So you end up losing a lot of money.

Temper
Especially for the Orchard gang. Sure get pissed off, and instead of a festive mood, you get to celebrate Christmas with nurses and docs if you're unlucky enough to piss off a Beng or a psychopath. There happens to be a lot around Orchard now, from what I heard.

Wasted holidays
Of 365 days in a year, Christmas has to fall on a school holiday. Now that is what I call bad planning and bad spreading out of holidays. That's not maximising the usage of the holidays! I know, Jesus had to be born on that day so the Singapore education system should really shift the school holidays. This is not selfish, this is called maximising your resources.

Proximity to New Year
Actually you could ignore the first three reasons, because they were there to make the post look better. I prefer to have more points than just one, but this is the most important shit of all.

CHRISTMAS = 6 days to NEW YEAR = DAMN CLOSE TO SCHOOL REOPENING!

Waaaaaaaaaaaa! Then you realise that you don't have much time left of the holidays after Christmas passes. And you've realised that before that you have spent a lot of time preparing for the big event called Christmas. So essentially, Christmas is like a straw, sucking up your time and then throwing you back into the abyss of school. Since we all know that school sucks, all the more Christmas is like a straw.

I think it's proven that

And means comes faster.

Thus, = NO GOOD

Proven enough. So don't celebrate Christmas, otherwise you might find yourself getting jacked. Then "eh where's my hols" will leave you with an echo of "hohohoho" and you will know who is ultimately behind all this that you are going through.

I don't wish to offend anyone, so please note that this is not a rallying cry for everyone to not celebrate Christmas. I offer this as merely advice, not anything to demoralise or spoil the mood. I'm sorry if I spoilt yours, but I don't think so anyway. So just ignore me if you think I'm a spoiler.

Oh, by the way, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of you!