The art of matchmaking

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of "match-making"? Does it simply mean making matches, or is there a deeper meaning to the word?

I, for one, think that I should be a matchmaker. This is because I've a mighty axe (made of pure runite) and lots of wood around me. I believe matches are made of wood, no? So I could go use the wood, process it, and then start cutting them up to make matches. I also specialise in making matchboxes, and I once made one very powerful matchbox. Powerful not in the sense that it wasn't easily breakable, but I programmed some music into it and now this matchbox can sing.

I call it Matchbox 20, but that's not my point here.

My point is that matchmaking is a good skill that everyone should learn. If I was a girl, I could be 卖火柴的小女孩，but sadly (or otherwise), I'm not. So I cannot be the little girl in Andersen's novel crying out that I'm selling matches. Oh no, that would not work.



Instead, I choose to use my product in a wiser manner. In RJC, that is.

I'm fairly certain that sparks are going to fly somehow in RJC - because of certain people I've mentioned in the poll. I don't like to list out names, so you'll just have to guess who are the people involved. The thing about me, I'm really an antangonist, and my definition of antangonist is someone who likes to antangonise. In other words, I like to make trouble, create trouble, produce trouble and then later run off to watch the fun. I make matches, set fire, then literally go over to 隔岸观火。

Shit, that sounds bloody fun, doesn't it? The only problem is when people get angry, then you're in for some rubberwacky. After all, arson is a crime, and there's a reason why the government tells little kids (like me) not to "play with fire", because it's a dangerous thing.

Yes, I agree, matchmaking is a dangerous thing. But what is the world without risk?

Simple - a world without any trouble for us to watch. No fires to spectate, no violent outbursts to settle.

I know it seems like I'm talking cock here, but then again this is talk cock summit, so I don't deny that I'm talking cock. If you still don't get the symbolism of making matches and setting fire, just think of the other meaning of "matchmaking" - I'm just trying to draw up a very poor analogy here.

Talk about analogies, I think everyone should read "Love is a Fallacy" by Max Shulman. It's some Philosophy crap that I was reading when I was clearing my worksheets (8kg piles), and I was reading about False Analogy. I think I'm committing a fallacy here, but then again it's all for the sake of explaining the analogy of love. But then again "False Analogy" is a LOGICAL fallacy, and I don't go by logic. So it's just too bad, I guess. Anyone who wants the story just tell me, I could get it and photocopy or something. It's a damn funny but jackass story - and oh plus you get to know your logical fallacies better, if you do go by logic.

By the way, if love is a fallacy and Kenneth Low is the master of fallacies, doesn't that make him an expert in love? Hmm. Not bad. Turns out Yuk's FT2 is much more philosophical than we thought - and the handouts he gave us might be a hint about who his real identity is. After all, Kenneth Low really does sound like the narrator in the story, who happens to be a Philo jackass. Muscular, cool and smart - but unable to get a girl because the girl only like dumb shits.

I wonder if that scenario will repeat itself next year.

This is jabberwocky. Sorry if you bothered to read this far, but I'm going to get back to making my matches. I enjoy the danger and thrill of playing with them, and it's not my fault if anything happens. I did fail once or twice in this experience, but most times I've been lucky. Maybe I should just let things take its natural course.

If you still don't get what I'm talking about, it's okay. That means it's not for you to know. Just be sure that once I'm done making matches, you can prepare for a HUGE explosion!! And then we all can really start to 隔岸观火。 Literally.