Chandy for life!

A Tribute to Chandy: Chandy for life! (Chandy/dx)

Chandy is my Maths teacher from 2004 to 2005. He is an insprational teacher who can motivate even the most slack of students. In Sec 3, I failed my CT pretty badly and Chandy almost whooped my arse. His repeated asking, "What happened, Yeh-jiey, what happened?!" woke me up with a jolt and from then on I never dared fail any Maths CTs. Totally powerful force. I started doing my Maths in the garden, where there were logs (log) and a lawn (ln). This improved my performance a lot.

In Sec 4, he continued powering our brain cells. I never failed any Maths test and it's because Chandy always invigilated. His very presence, his aura, has affected me to such a great rate that I find it hard to fail when he's around. He radiates not electromagnetic fields, but graphmatica skills. Truly admirable. When the movie "Constantine" came out - the only thing I could link it up with was "Cos-sin-tan" or perhaps, k. Because k is a constant. Such is the power of Mathematics.

Well, I guess it's not enough just rambling on and on about him. As the laws of Mathematics go, if you want to show that something is true, you must PROVE it. How do you know that sin 90 deg = 1, and that half pi radians is equal to 90 deg? I guess there's really no way to know unless you prove it.

First, let us get to the point. Who is Chandy? We will now review some Maths teachers and find out who he is by elimination. It's like having 2x = 14x²-6x, you could always remove the x from both sides, then you solve the question. Simple?

Let's begin.

She might not look like much in this picture, but students all over RI have fallen for her as fast as Chandy sketches ln graph questions. Some even tried failing Maths in order to stay in RI another year to get a few more glimpses of her face. Oh well, nice try, because from what I know no one is staying behind.




But one thing's for certain, and that is she isn't Chandy. Duh.

Though I must admit she's quite hot (and I'm sure many others would agree with me, especially the Bollywood star who goes around smelling flowers), she doesn't have the clinical finishing of Chandy. It's rather sad but she has to be eliminated.

Next up is a potential candidate to be a Chandy, but he has fallen short in his enthusiasm. Chandy infects us all with passion, power and enthusiasm. He sets the whole class on fire with his challenging Mathematics questions, and err.. the guy below..




Has left a lot to be desired.

However, he is the HEAD OF DEPARTMENT OF MATHS at RI. Big shot, but not big enough as Chandy - who despite having the talent declines to be head for reasons of humility.

Eh, then we come to yet another teacher of excellent calibre, being the former head of department. She taught YL for Maths this year and he has produced questionably questionable results, which I don't know if it's good or bad because I haven't seen it.




There, YL's dear Maths teacher for 2004-05.

Also has a penchant for making students stand in one line outside the Staff Room. I personally got that treatment along with the whole Sec 1 class (Sherwin Sim's fault!!) because that stupid hottie forgot to submit a list of names of some Maths Day competition. The result? We got disqualified from the competition and qualified for the Guinness Book of Records for standing outside the staff room for 61 days, 21 hours, 4 minutes and 59 seconds. (that's how it felt)

Seems like the search has been highly unsuccessful - for we have yet to unearth Chandy. The following is one of the more prominent Sec 4 teachers, teaching quite a number of classes. She does come quite close to Chandy in a sense, because she does have a little bit of experience in the field of PHYSICS. Why?




Because she's a converter!!!

A devout Christian, she spends her time teaching calculus while at the same time inculcating Christian values into her students. I don't know if it's the truth, but this is what I've been hearing from one of her students (unnamed to protect identity) from 4D, her form class. Apparently, it does help a bit, because when her students don't study for their Maths test, they pray to God and sometimes it's answered. Only sometimes. In any case, it's one of the alternative methods that Chandy never showed us.

Chandy only taught us to love Maths. He taught us to eat Maths, drink Maths, breathe Maths, hear Maths, see Maths and basically just live Maths.

As long as you have Maths in your life, you will always see the light.

I took his advice, and I saw the light.




(Picture courtesy of Sherlock, who is known for his Chandy jokes)

This, my friends, is the Maths and Physics professor, Chandy.

As I quote Sherlock, there is no such thing is too many Chandies. A perfect Maths department is when Chandy = infinity, and an imperfect Maths department is where Chandy is less than infinity, and that's shown. Now you go on to do your homework, Questions 1-30, all very easy, and show it to me in class tomorrow. I don't want to hear your excuses - just go home, sit down for half an hour, all finish, no problem.

Now I give you the various Chandy quotes, and these are what makes him truly great.

Chandy when pissed off / rushed (no one does his homework)
a) "Why didn't anyone do the homework?!! No point discussing, you know, no point!"

b) "Never mind, since you all never do at home, you all do now. If later you finish doing no time to discuss, not my fault." (folds arms and sits on teacher's table)

c) "We're behind time!!" (We're at WS 3 and people in CSC's class haven't started the topic)

d) "Never do, never mind. We have Pop Quiz first, later then we go back to the worksheet." (most toxic treatment, after that most people did their homework)

Chandy the Mature
Chandru: How do you find out what lies on the other end of the asymptote?

Some idiot: Just guess.

Chandru: No what if you guess wrongly? You must use [some complicated formula]..

Ihtimam: Sir why don't you substitute and plot the points?

Chandru: No, no, no, no, that's kiddish work! Very kiddish! Don't ever use that okay! It's very kiddish.

Chandy and his Tricks
a) "Eh, this question can do by shortcut method!!"

b) "Don't do by [some faggot long way], it takes too long. Tricks, you must learn some tricks!!"

c) "It's better to write c = constant, because you do like that you are like telling the examiner - 'Don't play with me, I know what I'm doing!'" (when doing integration)

Chandy the Motivational
a) "Aiya Maths Common Test nothing la, just go in, sit down, have fun can already!"

b) "Eh no problem la, very easy!!" (when I asked about upcoming Maths test)
Result: AROUND HALF THE CLASS FAILED

c) "It's okay to make mistakes. Shawn, go make mistakes on the board!"

d) "Integration very easy, close one eye also can do." (when I went to see him after missing the first two lessons on integration, which I never did quite recover from)

Chandy the Controversial
a) "The heat is hot here. But I'm not feeling hot still anyway.." (Chandy turning off the fans in the classroom because it makes a lot of noise)

b) Refer to "Chandy the Motivational" part (b), for this is a continuation.

Class: Sir, you said the test was easy!

Chandy: Ya it's very easy what!

(Slight pause)

Chandy: Okay la next time I don't say easy, I say DAMN hard. I say easy only then you all slack, and then don't want to put in effort. Next time I say VERY HARD, okay?

Chandy the Curriculum Planner
a) "I want to teach you now, but never mind I think I let RJC do it."

b) "This one is very interesting, they'll cover it in university."

c) "Ah.. okay, vectors last topic of the year! Sad right." (class goes "aww")

d) Midway through Term 3, we wanted to know what was in store for us.

Adnaan: Sir, what's after integration?

Chandy: September holidays.

Chandy the Fortune Teller
a) "What's the probability of all of you passing your Maths test?"

b) "Your future depends on calculus!"

c) "You don't know this formula, go RJC you die."

Chandy the Local Doctor
Especially when it comes to me. (I was sleeping in class)

Chandy: Eh wake up!

Me: Hmm?

Chandy: Never sleep last night right.. asking for trouble.

Chandy's Classics
a) "You tell me!" or "You tell me la [name], you tell me!!"

b) "Waa.. now technology, life easy." (when fiddling with the pointer on screen, which allowed enlargement and shrinking of the screen size)

c) "Now RP. You tell me, not I tell you."

d) "So not graded then can anyhow do is it."

e) "Wa, so cold." (then he switches off the fans while crossing his arms and pretending to shiver)

f) "Homework very easy, half an hour can finish all." (usually not the case)

g) "Assignment back by Monday. I don't want any excuses, I already give you a lot of time."

h) "Don't know, can cheat. Just use Graphmatica."

i) "You all just cannot be bothered, cannot be bothered!" (when no one does his homework, he says this with a more than slight shake of the head while walking away)

j) "Kennet Tay, where's your assignment?" (the name is there for a reason, and this is usually followed by the "cannot be bothered" statement)

k) "No la, my IQ very low. I'm stupid, but I work hard!"

That's it for quotes. He's just that marvellous, okay. So just as you take in your next breath of Mathematics, don't forget that the breath you take in is also a part of Chandy.

Chandy = Mathematics -- (1)
Mathematics = Life -- (2)
From (1) and (2), Chandy = Life. (shown)

Chandy for life!!!

Before I leave, I would just like to make a few Chandy jokes. Of course, it's nothing compared to Ihtimam's jokes, for he is the official guy to look up on Chandy. (Ihti's jokes can be found on a class blog which I better not say too much about, if you want details then you can ask.)

The jokes here are just for the fun of it.

Question: Why does Chandy get pissed off with Grace Chong?
Answer: Because Grace Chong teaches us to write half-equations!

Question: How many goals did Chandy score in interclass soccer?
Answer: Three. (Three-goal = trigo)