The land of Thai

If you ever get the chance, go be the king of Thailand. They have portraits of him all over the place. Thailand is the only place I know which seems to be clamouring for a absolute monarchy while the rest of the world asks for democracy. While other countries assassinate their kings, Thailand says " long live the king". But maybe they're lying. Because they are a bloody deceptive bunch. Like when they say " savad33ka" they actually want your money. Trust me, anyone who says that to you just wants your money. Just slap him/her.

The taxis in Thailand are of a very nice shade. Pink to be exact. Unfortunately, when I flagged one down to go to the weekend market, it happened to be a laopok taxi that looked 20 years old. And it couldn't seem to go fast because there was this "clank clank" noise at the back that increased in proportion. And it suited me because I didn't want it to go any faster either as it seemed to be falling apart. That's how sly the Thai taxi driver was. This way, he could make more money out of 1 customer. It seemed very slow, but I wanted to know exactly how slow, so I looked at the speedometer, and lo and behold, it pointed at 0. And the taxi was moving! I think I just teleported. The Thais are just so bloody smart they invented teleportation.

Now let me show you the view from the hotel room















This is absolutely fantastic if you're a despo Thai woman looking for hot Thai construction workers which unfortunately and fortunately I'm not, so this sucks. Then again this allows me to experience the exciting Thai nightlife. Unfortunately it's the nightlife of a contruction worker which involves welding metal and hammering at hard objects and hammers home the fact that construction is a rather noisy process that prevents decent people like me from sleeping.

A trip to Bangkok is almost guaranteed to strengthen leg muscles because the main thing is simply shopping and the traffic jams are so bad it is sometimes faster to walk. Try travelling in Bangkok for a month. You might just come back with humoungous leg muscles like YJ's.

On to the Patpong night market. Ironically, it's daylight robbery there. I was looking at a pair of pants and it looked quite nice so I asked how much. The robber punched 1300(about S$52) on his calculator. Which was a ridiculour price for an item in a night market. So I walked off. But the robber chased after me and asked me how much I want it for. I was feeling irritated and just wanted him to f*** off, so I just anyhow punched 300 (S$12) on his calculator. And he agreed. A S$40 discount. What a conman.

Had a dinner at a place called Steak Hunter. The steak there can be described as "very well done", so much so that I couldn't bite through. So don't go there, or if you do, order pork.

And the stars of Thailand are undoubtedly the transvestites. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "starry night" doesn't it? Girls should refrain from going for the transvestite performance because they might get jealous. Seriously. Their breasts are fake, so they can mould it into the perfect shape and look like barbie dolls. Actually being a transvestite is not a bad idea for some people from our school, since they are already halfway there. Just need to look more chiou.