Top ten stupid things which you should never say

I'll tell you at the end of the post.

First you are forced to read about my super boring day.

Today I felt very inclined to start booking people all over again, but only thing everyone was very well-behaved. I tried provoking a few of them just to get them to holler back or something, but pity they didn't. I ended up booking myself for provocation and slander.. and I did that six times. So I had to stay back for detention.

Detention started at 2:25pm, though officially it starts at 2:15pm. You are forced to sit through a bloody class with Danny's mother-in-law (?) as you hear her talk about literary devices. This would take quite some time. After an hour or so, you are forced to walk across barefoot to the second torture chamber of 4H for a very stressful Chemistry lesson, also known as remedial. Now this is hell because you just sit at one corner and feel your brain cells discharge themselves from you, incidentally known as the negative electrode. Then after another hour of this you are put through physical torture - run up and down the class going after tennis balls. Danny and Shivi will take Grace Chong's place for this part of the detention.

Finally, at 5:15pm, it was all over. Oops. Did I mention that UP detention is three hours instead of one? By the end of it all, I 心力交瘁，筋疲力尽。Ended up jamming a little back in class playing Pokémon tunes. Think I can roughly play the Goldenrod (Crystal version) music and a little bit of Littleroot (Ruby version). One day must come to hear me play - free of charge for Pokémon lovers.

That's a very boring day for you.

Before I go on to stupid things, let me talk a little bit about vectors. I realise that writing a discursive essay is pretty much like vectors. You can talk all the cock you want, but at the end the resultant must be zero. You are not allowed to sway to any side or give a biased opinion. No, it cannot be a or b, it has to be 0. Because if the resultant is just a little off the origin O, then that would be imba! Hence a friendly reminder for Friday's CT if you're doing discursive. Don't turn it into an argumentative essay. Acting smart gets you nowhere. Being smart does.

Well there was also the vectors quiz today. And I finished BEFORE TIME, and before "Bonus Question" Deric!! Proving how hard I've been working for the past twenty minutes during the quiz. Then I started integrating because I've finished my differentiating. Oh by the way I just realised Chandru is damn buaya. I won't cite what he said today as evidence, but here is an extract of what he said in the past. Remember the Matriculation Day entry on the board from my previous post? Well Chandru saw it, and the convo went like this:

Chandy: Eh.. Matriculation Day why got heart shape?
Me: Err.. I didn't draw that.
Chandy: Why, Matriculation Day with RG is it?
Me: Think so. Don't know.
Chandy: Waa.. happy ya.

Then for the rest of the lesson he kept grinning to himself! He thinks I don't notice these things? He's right, but he kept smiling and grinning for that whole day it's rather hard not to notice. That was quite a while ago. Also proves what havoc the whiteboard can be. Especially when I sit beside it.

There was another classic remark made a while back, when Barney and Ming Kiat were so-called love rivals. Waa I tell you that was the best man. Especially when Sophie's SMS to Ming Kiat was highly publicised on the class whiteboard. SS Teacher Neoh see already kena shock, I can tell you.

Neoh: What is this, Ming Kiat?
MK: *grins*
Neoh: (reading off) "Hi dear.. how's school?" sent by Sophie?
Class laughs.
Neoh: (to me) I hope you know what you're putting on the class noticeboard.

When it wasn't even my fault. Whenever there's scandalous stuff on the board it's usually not by me. However I admit the incident I had two years ago was certainly mine. My memory goes back a long way, back to the days where Fatty Phua (Peck Hong) was still pregnant, that old silly Chinese teacher who has gone to ACSI.

I wrote in huge letters, "CHEE HONG = CHEE BAI" after SL introduced me to the new word. I was anxious to let the class know about it.

PPH: 是谁写的？
Me: 我不知道。
PPH: 我现在要出去。当我回来时，不要看到那些肮脏的东西还在白板上。
Me: 没问题。

Lucky that one never tio a lot of trouble. I could recount you more incidents if it was my topic for today, but no.

I'm supposed to tell you about stupid things. So without further ado, let me reveal to you TCS's Top 10 stupid phrases you should never ever say.

10) My mother-in-law teaches English in RI. - This is stupid purely because it will earn you nothing but hate. Especially if you're dealing with a group of extremists.

9) Money is there to be made. - If money is already there, means it's already made. Why bother making what is already made?

8) The more the merrier. - Come on, we all know that too many cooks spoil the broth. The more you have, the longer your queue gets. And we all know what happens when long queues form.

7) I only got full marks for my test, never get bonus marks. - That is only an invitation to be stripped.

6) I never study for my test.. that's why I fail.. - People won't think you're smart, especially Desmond Tan. He'll just think you're the ultimate dumbass and deserved failing.

5) I never eat.. - Famous quote by Haram. Because of that blatant lie he has been the target of abuse in 4J. (Strip count: 1)

4) Sir, no string.. - Famous quote by Carl aka Lembu. Because of that blatant demand he has been the target of severe abuse in 4J. (Strip count: 4)

3) Sanitary pad! (in Chinese) - Famous quote by Shawn Lim. Because of that blatant remark he has been the target of very severe abuse in 4J. (Strip count: 6, since last year)

2) Every cloud has a silver lining. - Any self-respecting chemist can tell you that this is not true. In rain there would be many electrons at the top of the cloud, thus if there was a silver lining it would have long interacted with those electrons. It's Ag⁺ after all. Also it is well known that Ag is the third most unreactive element in the Reactivity Series (only Au and Pt is more unreactive) - so how the hell can it be found so easily at a cloud? If it's really that simple kiasu people would have taken hot air balloons to collect the silver already. Then scientists wouldn't have to waste so much time researching and excavating ground. Duh.

Okay now we come to NUMBER ONE!!!!!

1) My name is YJ.

Try saying that at RJ. Neck sure kena wring.