Results Day One

So you think you've had a bad CT?

Well at least now you get to know the truth!

Welcome to the Results Show at RI. Now I find this a rather controversial event - because a lot of shit does happen and it does get very emotional at times. Despite my repeated advice, it seems like no one's taking it. That advice is not to compare, because you feel (=fail?) best without comparing. I mean it!! Why bother comparing your Physics marks with James Miao when he, despite being a chemical element, can score 46/50? Without moderation, mind you. And our paper wasn't that easy.

Okay I admit, the part about the paper not being easy is only my view. =X

Still, today some people got pretty upset. Which I found was pretty much uncalled for. Why the hell should you get upset over any result? It's over, man, it's over!! If you're grieving over the failure of a subject you're not gonna take in JC, then you're dumb! Why grieve over something that is already put away neatly by you on Matriculation Day? Or if you ARE taking that subject in JC, then you're dumber!! If you suck in the subject, don't take it! Luckily they still allow you to make changes to your combination. Just send a message in to rjc@moe.edu.sg (I think) and ATTENTION MISTER TAI! I THINK I SUCK IN THIS SO I'M NOT TAKING IT!

Then poof, you'll be safe once again. Oh well. Consider it a good job done.

In any case, if you think I'm going to list down all my results here and then analyse and evaluate them, you're wrong. This is not a circus, and I'm not THAT stupid as to put down my results so as to turn this into a mockery. I mean stupid at the CT level is bad enough, but being stupid at the CT level and bringing it into a blog that has above 100 hits a day is beyond stupid. I'd get GPA 0.8 for Common Sense. So I think I'd better be wise and shut up - only going to offer some advice for those who seems to, somehow, find a reason to be unhappy despite the advice mentioned above.

If you scored full marks but didn't do bonus question, BE HAPPY!
I mean, face it, at least you had three digits in your percentage while others didn't.

If you scored GPA 4 but missed full marks by a bit, BE HAPPY!
People don't get that close.

If you missed GPA 4 by one mark, BE HAPPY!
Be happy that you did a kind deed by giving chance to the CT.

If you missed GPA 3.6 by one mark, BE HAPPY!
For it means you have 69 marks. Bloody nice number!!

If you missed GPA 3.2 by one mark, BE HAPPY!
At least you got a B overall! It's not that easy to get one, especially if you don't work!

If you missed GPA 2.8 by one mark, BE HAPPY!
At least you got a C+. There's a PLUS, meaning things can only look up. Be positive! (So that anions get attracted to you as well.)

If you missed GPA 2.4 by one mark, BE HAPPY!
You passed!! Don't be too greedy.

If you failed the test by just a little (around 45%), BE HAPPY!
Remember that the lowest in batch is usually not those who fail by a bit.

If you failed the test by a moderate percentage (around 30%), BE HAPPY!
Tell yourself you wouldn't have passed anyway - so might as well don't ask for marks.

If you failed the test by a lot (like around 20%), BE HAPPY!
You might set a record in the Guinness Book of Records. And you probably had fun doing the CTs.

If you scored zero for the test, BE HAPPY!
Because it's probably what you planned. And it takes someone VERY VERY smart to get zero - you need to know all the correct answers and fill in everything wrongly.

Unless, of course, you didn't write anything on your paper. Then you're bloody hell asking for it. And you don't deserve to be happy.

Have you ever heard of Russell Peters? "Be a man, do the right thing"?

WELL BE A MAN! TAKE YOUR CT!

Don't pon it because you have a viral infection.. the sort that makes you go cycling in the afternoon. In case you were wondering, I am not referring to anyone in particular. I'm just trying to make a lame joke that only people from 4J will understand. If you want more details, you can ask me on MSN. I'll gladly tell you more about cyclists with viral infections with their CA GPA being either 3.6 or 4.0.

Especially if it's done two times. I despise cheapos like that. Super underhand and despicable. Oh wait, maybe it should be underleg since he's a cyclist. Oh well..

Now time for some bitching! I know I said "be happy" but that is for your CTs. If your overall grade just misses the next by one mark, you are fully granted the rights to kpkb. Just as I do. I mean I'm still very happy but I have to scold THE SYSTEM here, since I obviously cannot scold our beloved teacher Chandy.

WILL THEY PLEASE REVERT BACK TO THE OLD SYSTEM! OR JUST USE AVERAGE MARK!

That's all I have to rant. I'd be 前后矛盾 if I said "be happy" and then scold a lot here. Anyway life is rather meaningless being easy-going all the time, so the occasional quirk and perk is quite all right. Now that is really all I have to say - and hopefully now all you RI people will be better-equipped to face the challenges of Results Day Two (ie tomorrow).

Remember! You will be happiest if you don't compare. If you must, then compare with me. I think I also have the ability to make you happy. For a more thrilling effect, then compare with _ _ _. Doesn't mean a guy with tutor will win a guy without one. If you are looking to get whooped in the arse, go compare with James Miao. I have confirmed and verified that all the above information is correct.