Are Men Necessary?

i thought i had cleared all my homework when suddenly danny's stupid (future) mother-in-law came to interfere. she told us to do a discursive essay on "are men necessary?". it was due on monday, and i'd like to clarify that i'm a model student who always hands in his work on time. it is only because i am short of material to post today which is why i decided to post my essay (which i finished yest). today yuk lun, zhi hao and i went to register for the delf (french proficiency) today, and we needed to buy a stamp and an envelope. i could talk about that, only that it would seem like a scene from the movie "dumb and dumber", although there was another "dumbest" in the equation - but never mind that. i'll leave yuk to talk about it if he wants. we took around 1 hour just to get these two items. geniuses.

so here's my essay anyway. DISCURSIVE, mind you!

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Are men necessary?

'Tis an interesting question indeed, for what exactly is necessary? By my definition, "necessary" simply means having a use for. GPA 2.8 is necessary for us to take 12 units in JC (though those curriculum planners decided to cut it down) and on the same note, GPA 2.0 is necessary to get us into RJC. Now as we move back to the topic, can we try to fit the scenarios of GPAs into the current world?

Let GPA be men. And let JC be world. Men are very funny creatures - and I feel inclined to say that because I'm still a boy. How do I know? Simply because they have moustaches and beards, something which I find highly useless. After all, what is a use of a beard in modern-day society? Does it run our factories? Does it power our houses the way the power stations do? Do they entertain and bring happiness to the world? Okay, maybe certain of them do, but most of the time they'd probably be entertaining 1) themselves or 2) women.

May I ask what is the point of entertaining women? To attract attention, of course. In return they might get the secret satisfaction of knowing that the women find them entertaining, or perhaps in other measures that I will not bother to go into lengths to discuss. However, as you can see, there is no point! Why bother doing things for other things that are pointless? I mean, we all do things for a reason - and if there is no reason, the thing is not worth doing. Since there is no reason or point, it is not necessary. Since men do things that are not necessary, they are not necessary.

Oh wait, I'm supposed to be objective.

So on the other side of the coin, let us have a look on what men has brought to this earth. If you'd take a look at the scientists who have populated the earth, you will find that 80% of them are men. You could view this statistic through a distribution curve, a bar graph, a pie chart - all of which are invented by men. Without men, it would be wholly impossible to progress to the society we have today. True, there are lots of stress in this society, but there are many conveniences as well. Plus, I think men produce this thing called sperm, which would most probably contribute to producing offspring. (Now whoever's marking this please be informed that I don't take Biology, and is thus quite ill-informed about the technical terms of human reproduction, so will you please excuse this ignorance of mine.) But I do believe zygotes will be formed, which in turn will turn into babies after nine months.

Then there is a 50-50 chance that the baby will turn into an unnecessary one or a necessary one after twenty-one years of age in Singapore, eighteen years of age in Britain, or sixteen years of age in America. It's all a matter of viewing things. Results may vary, though - so don't just 囫囵吞枣 and take my word for it.

Nevertheless, men do produce babies though they're the fags who just pump and then sit back and slack for nine months while his wife does all the work. After the baby is born, he starts slacking even more and only plays with the baby when he feels like it. Then as the child grows he provides comments while it's his wife who does most of the work. I complete these assumptions with reference to my classmates, some of which have decided to become a man early. A good example would be Sportsman Shawn. But all you have to know is that men is necessary in the process of reproduction, but otherwise I think he might prove quite useless. Still, we are not talking about the other factors here since they don't matter. We must be honest with ourselves and ask this question: What is needed to ensure the continuity of mankind?

The answer is reproduction. And that is the only answer. Men only come up when it matters, and that is what matters. Thus, men are necessary as they are necessary when it matters.

To conclude, I find that I have already balanced my view - for I've said that men are necessary, and men are not necessary. You may call it 踌躇不决 but that is the idea for a discursive essay. However, I find this discussion rather redundant as like it or not, necessary or not, we cannot get rid of men. You may choose to say whatever you would like to say but men will always be here, and therefore this argument is pretty inconclusive and pointless.

[799 words]

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not too long and not too short eh? around 2 pages in ms word. although i did it when i was out of brain juice (ie no inspiration) i think i should be able to score full marks la.

but since i was off form i doubt i'll get the bonus marks. that's quite sad. no more GPA 4.4.