Long stories left long

i hope you all ready to rock and roll, because today good weather, got hell lot of wind. then i took a deep breath while on the outdoors and as a result i am now very long winded. if you don't want rock and roll then you better be prepared to stop and scroll. many issues to discuss. starting from our very first item on the agenda:

OUTRAGE OF MODESTY IN CHINESE CLASS
class pineapple was caught with his pants down, literally. wasn't zipped, wasn't buttoned and wasn't belted up would be an accurate description of his.. appearance. teacher puay hock almost gave him a wedgie by asking him to stand straight and pulling his pants/underpants up. i was too far away to see clearly but puay hock apparently felt that his modesty was outraged. so he started ranting and shouting.

“你们能放肆到几度？真是可恶！”
“你的面子是别人给你的，可是你却把你自己的面子丢了！”
“这里是个课室，不是厕所！！！”

are among some of the more famous quotes. next time don't try outraging a male teacher's modesty, because he won't be impressed. apparently puay hock prefers females. if you don't believe me you can always ask anybody in the class of 4HJ higher chinese. this is nothing but the hard facts.

now we move on to more hardcore news.

SEMOGA BAHAGIA

4j new hit album. haha when 老大 says he's gonna do something means he's gonna do something. today the promise was made good when 4j sang semoga from the class to the hall, as well as during PE, recess and english. plus some additional ones during CLE, but we'll leave those out. and what's more it is well-known that with risk comes reward.

so those of you who said that i'm a lousy monitor, think again. look at what i have done for the school population plus the class?

because of our YOUTHFUL VIBRANCE and our CHILDISH INNOCENCE we all kena ice creams by the teachers who decided to treat us. and who came up with the semoga idea? ME! so i claim all the credit for today's ice cream. if you had your ice cream you know who to thank. i'm waiting now.. you can send your thank you letters to talkcocksummit@yahoo.com.sg. i'll be more than happy to receive them.

oh and plus lilian tan gave our class chocolates. okay i did embezzle quite a hell lot of them but no one else wanted it! i asked the class if they wanted but they all declined sharply. certainly not my fault if there was any further misunderstanding. anyway lilian tan later commended our class for being so rowdy and spontaneous about children's day, but we went overboard because even the teachers could hear it from the staff room. well, let me ask you: isn't that the whole point of this? nanny nanny boo boo!

next children's day i promise another special thing. ya even though its at RJ don't forget 4j will always be around. today 老大 sing until his voice hoarse. next time sing song must get more manpower.

SAMA SAMA MAJU KE HADAPAN!

THE HOUSE AWARDS

when it comes to this time of the year again, we start thinking of who to give house awards. as our house captain is a judge (ie yh) and since i am a prosecutor who has had a fair amount of experience in the courts (i buy furniture all the time), we are all very well-versed in the law. ya lor (law) - so today we try to determine what should be the house awards.

i must admit we don't often get compensation cases, but it does happen. well when we saw the plaques the first thing i could say was wow. i get alot of that on my teeth too! next thing: i'm gonna compensate myself with a plaque. so the very first thing we did for house awards was to award ourselves the best plaque. of course there is another for the "most outstanding bayleyean" but that's only by name. even though your plaque more expensive ours has more meaning. the very fact that we are on banlist for "most outstanding bayleyean" already shows that we are gonna pwn your arse if we compete with you for that award. so give chance, give you the award.

next we must see properties of plaques. today the pre-matriculation talk on econs help. cost is 2nd most impt factor, quality being the most impt. well since they all not 老大s like us they get cost cheaper one la. i mean DUH! got magnetic plaque featured in the book some more, for only 9 dollars. shit the way they sell it i begin to wonder if got north seeking pole or not. maybe the magnetic plaque is damn lousy and cannot force up any emf or weak magnetic field surrounding the plaque. then maybe if you want to put the plaque on the fridge it ends up dropping in the middle of the night and breaking into a million pieces. then the flux linkage will just die out and so will you because of shock.

okay better not talk so much since i fail physics.

next we talked about how the price of the plaques should be directly proportionate to the level of the award. less service, then your plaque less money. and since we started with ourselves we had no choice but to work downwards with a negative gradient, or db/da, where b = bayley and a = awards. so since db/da is less than 0, we had no choice but to work with reduction of plaque prices. after a while the reduction became difficult because the cost became so low that we couldn't lower it any further. so we had to oxidise all the costs for a bit to counter the effect. that's the le chatelier principle - if equilibrium cannot be reached and if the solution is imba, then you must counter the effect. like how you counter reduction with oxidation.

oh man! even deciding house awards can be a redox reaction.
i think i can pass my chem ct liao. just everyday meet to discuss house awards, no problem!

so that was how our session went.

PRE-MATRICULATION TALK

today got ten-sionnnn (pronounced ten-shennnn) when ppl come talk about matriculation. very dangerous because if you take wrong subject combi, you end up in wrong class, you end up mixing with the wrong people, you end up at the end being screwed up. not a good way to end up. so we all were listening very attentively to the speakers.

first up, KI. they place so much bloody emphasis on this sort of cock topic?! probably gep take. or sci freak take. gep take is probably because of philo. they all spend their time thinking about life that they all end up with no life, so perhaps KI is very suitable for them. sci freak take is because he thinks KI is potassium iodide. which isn't wrong, but in this context it is. but for me i'd rather take the other KI than this KI so thank you very much, but KI isn't for me. unless you talking about mathematical context, then you're in business. i like maths, and that's if K is a constant and I is a variable. then can differentiate and INTEGRATE! that's the bloody fun part about variables, always can play around with them.

anyway KI so stupid. the questions they ask are ultimate LAME ASS QUESTIONS! i present you with some of them.

q: how is knowledge constructed in different fields (maths, chem, lit, etc.)?
a: by getting a tractor la! duh! then can go from field to field easily and construct different buildings!

q: how can knowledge be rendered valid?
a: if 老大 says it is valid means it is valid. that one no one dispute or argue. 无庸置疑。

q: how can we prove that mt everest is the tallest mountain in the world?
a: by differentiating the surface of the earth. mt everest got dy/dx = 0, therefore it is max. pt.

meaning its the tallest mountain the world. (shown)

you tell me, KI easy or not? you tell me no, means you stupid pig.

later they talk about econs. econs at first seem easy. do market survey only - until i realised that the market they talking about no fish and no veg. only got graphs!! wtf that's damn chandru. might as well say econs is mathematics applications? but its applications very cool, i like. because at least teaches us how to make money! oh yea $$$$$$$$$$! maybe econs not so bad after all.

however! i find one part of it damn crazy. the essay writing. wtf 2 h 15 min expect us to write 3 essays? then got some other funny component also 2 h 15 min. but the bad thing is, H2 econs must write 3 essays in 2 h 15 min. which is like 45 min per essay. knn they give us the pri sch psle time for maths then they expect us to write 3 essays? isn't solving problem sums so much easier? i think go RJ hand confirm damn pain ah.. write so much?! it just proves a point that the system is there only to give you finger cramps and wrist problems. think i gonna train my left hand to write as well. so first essay right hand, second essay left, third essay a mixture of both. like some bloody printer got two rollers i got two hands to slowly write my essay. towards the middle, then out again. of course, as a 老大 i see the big picture and can do this. anyone else reading this blog don't try to copy. because it won't be easy. and also because a levels i don't think its easy to copy unlike now in RP where everything is free and easy.

finally, they talk about theatre studies. this one another of my favourite subject because i was actively involved in theatre. take drama feste for instance. i think when i go RJ i'll take theatre studies and end up in the same class as those GEPs in RP (not the screwed up one, its the gay one called Raffles Players). then if got independent study i'll do topics like "how to be a good crew member" or "how to make props that will not offend the audience". eh not bad right? i have great plans, i do.

however it seems like a lot of work because the RJ teacher said we'll be travelling to england in july. damn, because its summertime and summertime means singapore!! then if we have to go to england just to experience singapore weather i think its damn not worth it. wait a minute - maybe the teacher did mention we'll be having a look at shakespearean works and his theatres too. but shakespeare is a loser - he cannot even get basic sentence structure right. he would say things like "know you not him?" instead of "do you know him?" he would come up with words like "exeunt" which is so hard to pronounce because it looks so wrong. then a most classic example, "in sooth i not know why i am so sad", which proves that shakespeare might be a chao ah beng, for he uses good english, but he mixes it up with bad sentence structure.

but chao ah beng might have his days too. see, i believe that shakespeare was a great astronomer, for he seemed to know pretty much about the stars. and the wars that go on up there. "oh, how wretched i am!" is the perfect example to prove my point. there can be no doubt that shakespeare was the one who discovered yoda in star wars. so whoever thinks that the original author is not shakespeare but someone else, go away. 老大 says that shakespeare was the founder of star wars and no one can dispute that. except myself, but i don't choose to argue with what i just said. that would be 自相矛盾 and that's just plain stupid okay.

thus we came to the end of the talk. i feel very inspired to take all these stupid subs, but no. 老大 doesn't want to end up suffering in JC.

BATCH PHOTO

screwed up idea. i think there could be a new term for it - "mass orgy". lucky i was at the back so i wasn't that affected. those in the middle kena sandwich and batch photo become batch picnic. cafe delight sad case because even though it was the last day in the canteen they still had many sandwiches left. then no one wanted to buy because the hall already got sandwich.

CONCLUSION

fridays are bloody good. especially if its just before children's day and especially if we're all crazy.

BUT tomorrow will be even better! because it IS children's day. haha too bad no school otherwise sing song. today celebrations quite shiok already la.

okay tired so i go sleep now. i hope you become cockeye after reading this looooooooooong post. then maybe if you really become so cock you might like to join us at talk cock summit to be a regular cockster. applications can be made at the tagboard.

and the appeal for you to link us is still open. if you link us, tell us, we'll link you back. then once we form a chain of cocks we can soon set up animal farm.