Don't be Sly

I hate Sylvester Sim. Now why would anyone like someone who calls himself Sly. However, judging from the number of people supporting him every time he performs, some people are actually crazy over Sly. How interesting.

There are 2 reasons why I hate him.

Firstly, he’s ugly. I know some idols can be ugly, like those made of mud and stone. But he makes all those idols beautiful by comparison. His mouth looks at home on a fish. I don’t know what’s wrong with his eyes, but Kelvin Tan Weilian’s ones look nicer. Everytime I see his face, I can’t help but stare at it because it has reached the level of ugliness where I can’t take my eyes off it. One wonders, how the hell does nature produce something so curiously ugly?

Secondly, he’s malnourished and I hate malnourished people like him on TV because it makes me hungry. In fact, it looks as though his guitar weighs more than him. And the worst thing is that he’s everywhere. He is so overexposed that his skinny body is making my eyes sore.

So maybe his fame is because of his name.(wa it rhymes) “Sly” gives a bad-boy image. And people looovvve bad boys. So, I shall provide a list of bad-boy names that you should give your children so that they can grow up to be stars. (the names are strictly fictional)

Rapist Xiao Yu Xiang

Pervert Xiao Yu Xiang

Murderer Xiao Yu Xiang

Conman Xiao Yu Xiang

Criminal Xiao Yu Xiang

Liar Xiao Yu Xiang

Fucker Xiao Yu Xiang

(I repeat, the names are STRICTLY fictional. In any case, please refer to our disclaimer.)

Coming soon: How to beautify Sylvester Sim