Survival

I assume all of you have got back your Chemistry test already (snigger) and have seen all your wondrous marks (smirk).. and of course the toughest part being bringing it home and getting your parents to sign (snicker).

Wait a minute, why am I laughing at all of you when I'm experiencing the same difficulties! Since we're 同舟共济 (same boat all die), I can only offer you certain solutions next time. Oh no, not disgusting ionic solutions from the Chemistry lab, but practical ones outside Chem Prac which you can most certainly use. In getting your parents to sign without looking at the marks.

1) Photocopy, alter and GO!
Take the question paper and just photocopy it. Alter the marks, and make sure you do it in black and white so you can fake your parents to say that you really photocopied the whole thing. And of course you give yourself a pass. Duh.

2) Soak offending bit in water or preferably some chemical
Well you still need your parents to sign so you must make sure the "Parent's Signature" line is still intact.. and then you get rid of the marks part. Just normal water would do, but if you want to play safe you could try dipping the offending part of the page (ie your marks) into conc. HCl. That should do the trick. And if your parents ask where are your marks - you could always say that it's all in the Chemistry.. solutions.

3) Forge
One of the oldest tricks in the book - but effective nevertheless. I still see people using it up till today, and with its success rate it's no wonder. Unless you get called up for Parent-Teacher meeting, this method is foolproof, teacherproof and scoldingproof. Because the teachers have no proof you did it!

4) Cut and paste
The dangerous and risky but worth a try method if you're really desperate. Just take another piece of paper, write the mark on it, and then paste it nicely on your test paper over the mark. The triangle must be cut to perfection so that it fits exactly. And you cannot use blu-tack, it has to be glue. Only thing is after that you might have some trouble removing it but what the heck, you save yourself a scolding so have fun.

These methods will most certainly definitely undeniably work.. ceteris paribus. Meaning if your parents don't flip over the page to check and add up your marks. If they do GG to you and well I can't say it's my fault.

In case any of you are saying that I'm a bad influence (which I'm not)..

I'm only joking.

MUG HARDER NEXT TIME YOU N00B!

(Edit: Not applicable if your Chem tutor is Wong Tze Yang.)