Let's Play Shoot Shag Marry!

With the recent ban on poker cards, life in school has been empty. empty. empty.*echoes* So you need some games to keep you alive. And I recommend shoot shag marry because it can be quite fun.
For the n00bs who don't know how to play, it's simple. Someone picks 3 people that both of you know. You then have to make the life-and-death decision on which one to shoot, which one to shag and which one to marry. For the brave only: make your decisions come true!

The true fun is in deciding the 3 candidates for your victim, and how to make it a real dilemma. The simplest for the victim would of course be 1 hot, 1 ugly and 1 nice. For which the answer would almost definitely be shoot the ugly, shag the hot and marry the nice. Or you can choose 3 hots, which would make a dilemma but it would be a pleasant one, even though it's all hypothetical.

Or you can plant nightmares in your victim's head by choosing 3 undesirables. Which is really quite nasty but fun. Feel your conscience beating at you (if you have one).
So I give you a hypothetical one:

A: A is a very heavy girl. think like 200kg? ya she can hardly go through the door. And when she jumped for joy, she got stuck (that is if she can jump in the first place). Shoot her? B...but she's a really nice person. Beneath the meat is a giant heart of gold. Like the sort that would jump first if she knows you're committing suicide by jumping off tall buildings just so she can be your landing mat. Just to help you visualise:
























Shag? Yucks the very thought makes me sick, and it should to you too. And frankly, how to you shag her? It's like impossible, with all those layers of fat.
Marry? In case you think that by marrying, you can avoid the choice of shagging her, imagine staring at this picture 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the rest of your life. You'll probably feel like jumping out of the window to your death, but tragically you can't, because she'll pre-empt you and be your landing mat. So how.

B: B is a very manly person. The IC says 'female', but everyone begs to differ. He has a deep loud voice that leaves no doubt as to who is DOMINATING! He does not talk, he orders. He has big biceps. In fact, it's so big it's bigger than his brain. And he also has a ponytail. A ponytail has many uses. Like swat away the flies for instance.

C: The IC states that C is male, but we can't be sure. C probably has no sex. C does not appear to show emotion of any kind. C is super anti-social. All it does is talk in a monotonous voice that hints of scorn. All in all, a very mysterious persona that one would rather leave mysterious than risk finding out.

There you go. Have fun with your imagination!