Stoopideeti

I sometimes wonder about my level of stoopideeti, especially in recent times when I am getting back all my tests. My results were nothing like they were in RI (back then it was mediocre), because now my results are nothing.

Yes you didn't hear me wrong. Nothing.

Okay wait I just demonstrated my stoopideeti by saying "hear me wrong" - look, how can you hear me when you're just reading this rubbish I type? Even if you turn on your speaker I haven't figured out how to upload sounds onto the blog - which again is further evidence of my stoopideeti. Shit, I'm starting to think the world revolves round my stoopideeti. Which yet again further proves I am stoopid because upon checking the Net I realise that it is Earth that revolves round the sun, not around me.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME ARGH!!

Of course, it's okay being stoopid once or twice. In fact, it's kind of useful. I did something real stoopid during the period of Chinese New Year and I had some amazing discoveries. So although I will mention about the disadvantages of stoopideeti later, I must first elaborate on the advantages. (balanced view)

Well during CNY I came back on the first day tired after my Cross Country training. So without as much as a thought I just went to shower. Okay then I went online to blog about the Cross Country experience. And then I realised something was amiss! Where were my red packets?

Then it occurred to me. The ultimate stoopid thing that could have happened - the red packets were soaking along with my NEW PANTS! Now if you do not understand the full (fool) extent of that stoopid thing I did, let me tell you the consequences.

1) The red packets were soaked and soggy.
2) The red packets contain money, which was also soaked and soggy!
3) The colour of the red packets will run onto the pants.
4) My pants are new and already I've ruined it with red stains?!
5) If I wear my pants again people are going to think I'm female.

So for these six reasons I am screwing myself up. To prove that I really did soak the whole load of red packets, I present you my research findings.



And it turns out that this particular note that I received was certainly not a counterfeit. After all you can see all the safety features there.. WATERmark, UV stamp, whatever. By the way, that was not the only note that got soaked to the skin (see I'm saying stoopid things again), because I had at least five or six other notes that suffered the same fate.

It was then where I became thankful for plastic notes. They were hardly affected.



Next time they should really make $10 plastic notes and $2 paper notes.. tsk look how much money I've lost because who's going to accept the $10 crap with decolourisation (a bit). And before you read further I just realised two stoopid things: 1) there are only five reasons, not six (look up there) and 2) they should just make all plastic notes and save stoopid people like me the trouble!

Sigh.. I think I'm really making a fool out of myself. Okay but at least one good thing came out from it and that being that I know my notes aren't fake. Umm well next time you might like to try it to test if your notes are authentic. Haha yes.

So now, back to more recent topics. I'm sure you are very interested on how far my stoopideeti goes, because if you have been failing tests I'm HERE TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER! Talk Cock Summit does not only seek to entertain, we also seek to console those who have performed badly in our tests because no matter how badly you manage to do, we manage to do badlier.

YL and I are classic examples. Maybe YL isn't, but I certainly am. After all, YL's civics tutorial group is full of muggerssssss (that's what HE claims) and he's bottom. Well I believe him. My CTG doesn't have that much muggers and yet I am almost bottom! Therefore if you compare us, I believe that I am stoopidier but let's leave that out and bring in the figgers.

My subjects: Maths, Chem, Econs, French
YL's subjects: Maths, Chem, Bio, French

What I failed: Chem (assumed), Econs, French + GP LOL!
YL failed: Maths and Chem

And I believe I am kind of a bad influence to YL because I always try to convince him not to mug. Being of Anti-Mugging Club (AMC) and Anti-Tutorial Movement (ATM) origin, I am almost equivalent to any retard and am the current delinquent of RJC. Yet no one pities me because I deserve my lousy marks by not mugging. What's more YL's failures are borderline while mine is umm.. undefined.

Tsk and you thought I can only talk cock? WRONG I can also FAIL TESTS.

Shit now I realised I got nothing else to say. That's stoopideeti for you - trying to bring out figgers to prove a point but in the end forgetting what I had to prove. Nevertheless, failure is the mother of success and despite my stoopideeti I believe I will succeed one day. Anyway from so many instances in this blog plus my failure list has already shown my stoopideeti and now I'm just going to umm.. come up with an improvement plan.

So here goes my plans for different subjects.

MATHEMATICS (barely passed!)
1) Learn how to use Graphic Calculator. (Oh by the way there's an excellent article on this on http://judeslads.blogspot.com ya advertisement but VERY USEFUL, I feel smarter after reading it so do drop by.)
2) Let's see.. draw graphs with pencils. (pen ink difficult to change!)
3) Practice makes perfect! But they never said how much practice so in actual fact a stoopid person like me could take fifty years before I can get full marks in a Maths test. By which time will there still be tests?

CHEMISTRY (assumed fail)
1) Mug Periodic Table.
2) JUST SKIP THE DAMN STOICHIOMETRY QUESTIONS!
3) Don't use Graphic Calculator to do calculations.
4) Okay number 3 is quite Fe-y since I said in the Mathematics sector to use it. It's up to your own discretion.

ECONOMICS (failed)
1) Think of money, think of money, think of money.
2) Mug demand and supply notes and for consumer surplus, DO NOT draw arrows and claim that represents surplus. No that isn't the case.
3) Draw bigger graphs because teacher doesn't like small graphs.

FRENCH (failed REAL BAD)
1) Je ne sais pas.
2) Aucune idée.
3) Aidez-moi!
4) www.freetranslation.com

GP (failed REAL BAD also!)
1) Go to the army and become a general. Then I might own the paper.
2) Read more Enid Blyton books (P.S. I claim to be an expert in Enid Blyton literature but after my GP grades I'm starting to think otherwise.)
3) Bring in economic concepts and start bribing the teacher.

Well ya for those who take these subjects I hope they help you. Because I certainly need a lot of it.

And my stoopideeti is getting to me, my thoughts are getting incoherent. I'd better get off from here before I prove to be a complete moron. That is if I haven't proved it already.

Okay but before I go let's have a STOOPID joke from me!

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Q: Why does the person leading our country have menses?
A: Because he is the PRIME MINISTER OF SINGAPORE! (PMS)

No offence to whoever might take offence. I'm assuming only the PM would and no, I don't think he'll read my blog. And if you're thinking of tagging on the tagboard under his name, especially Paul Yap or Seetow, could you please not do it thank you.