Back to the drawing bored

It's been a while since we had a long school holiday. In fact, it had already been sixty-eight days since school reopened. Lousy RJC refuses to give us a day off even with excellent A level results. And worse still, they refused to give us even HALF a day off. And no NMAs either.

I think the school authorities have a lot to learn from this guy called Mr Wong Siew Hoong. Be it winning gold medals in sports seasons or having good O level results, he sure knew how to call a holiday. Or even if RI could not afford the holiday, they certainly could afford the assemblies. And for those who are ignorant to NMAs, they mean No Morning Assemblies. It's kind of a tradition at RI when we performed well academically or in the sporting arena. It means that we were spared for assemblies for a week and more sleeping time for everyone. Yay, joy to the world.

Unlike now at RJC where being top college and having the best results in the college's quarter-century history does not constitute even a no-assembly for one morning. I seriously find these people very sad, very very sad. So I was forced to slog for the rest of the term and yes after 68 long days we are finally done with the term! And given one week to recover. Which kinda sucks but DON'T COMPLAIN it's better than nothing!

Given TCS members' great abilities in wasting time, I am back here to offer you a few plans to make your holidays even shorter! We all know that time flies no matter what, so why not make it fly faster? One week is not a lot of time to waste anyway, so why not just waste it away? Face it, you cannot do anything meaningful in one week, or at least something significant enough to impact the world. So.. introducing to you the many time-wasting plans that we have!!

1. Prepare for Project Work (Satisfaction: 0/10)
PW is going to come up next term and we all know we are all going to be bloody busy. TCS believes in the spirit of pre-empting so you can start pre-empting the questions now! And start doing your project now! Just research on anything and everything and start writing your 2500-3000 words report. Then when school term starts you can go to your classmates and say "suck it man, I've finished PW!" while the rest of them all whine. Except those who will become your PW group mates, of course.

And then you better hope that your best friends end up in your PW group or you would have just worked for a bunch of freeloaders. Worse still if your deadliest enemy in your CT group.. aha that would be GGXX. So exercise discretion please. Alternatively you can use probability and start predicting in whose PW group will you land up in. Will waste you a hell load of time. Exactly what you want.

2. Revise Chemistry (Satisfaction: 0.5/10)
This is one of the most screwed up things you can possibly do.. because you know you won't be tested on the same topics for a while. The effects and rewards of this will not be seen till quite late in the year, by which time you would have probably forgotten what you studied anyway. Honestly, we all know that this is the choice taken by hardcore muggers or for those who really have simply nothing better to do. Even if you waste time, at least have fun doing it. Revising Chemistry? No way. (Not for me anyway but I'm putting it here so maybe some of you idiots out there can go kill yourself doing it.)

3. Art of Stoning (Satisfaction: 2/10)
Following Yuk's laws of Daoism, this skill.. needs lots of skill. As practice makes perfect, you must keep practising the art of stoning so you can be the perfect stone. Then people will walk by and say something like, "man, you rock!!"

The skill is also especially useful in Mathematics, Chemistry, Physics, Biology or for that matter (not the particulate theory of matter) ANY SCIENCE LECTURE. Actually, any boring lecture will do. To be proficient in the art of Stoning is to just stone there while everyone thinks you're paying attention. Truth is you really couldn't be bothered. If you master this well, Term 2 will pass in a breeze and you can spend the June holidays stoning again. Only thing about this is that although it separates you from the world and will probably find you inner peace, the bad thing about stoning is that is separates you from the world and you're just really a dao piece of shit who will achieve nothing in the future. Now enough said.

4. Catch up on lost sleep (Satisfaction: 4/10)
If you've been sleeping late during school term, it's catch up time. Maybe you have had long nights just lying in bed counting sheep? Time to jump over the fence yourself and catch all of them back. There's a saying that goes "if you catch up on your sheep, you're catching up on your sleep" - which I find very true because I said it myself!

The holidays are indeed the best remedies for sleepless nights. The satisfaction lies in knowing that you have been well-rested. But of course you would have accomplished nothing in the real world - though you probably would have in Dreamland. Still, if you're one sleep-deprived fag, I say JUST DO IT. They didn't give us holidays for nothing. See, in Term 2 you're definitely going to be so much busier and there will probably be more sleepless nights. And hence sleeping now will prepare you for the future. Also, there's a four-week break after Term 2. Thus proving my theory that holidays are for catching up on sleep - the length of the holidays are inversely proportional to the amount of sleep you get during the term.

If you're this sort of guy, stop reading. Sleep NOW.

5. Computer games!! (Satisfaction: 5/10)
Gunbound. World of Warcraft. Neopets. Whatever it is.

You know you don't have time to read silly blogs - because leveling up is probably the most important thing in your life next to being the top player in the world, whatever game you choose to excel in. The satisfaction is in knowing that you are being a no life and you probably own everyone else. And err.. who cares where satisfaction is derived, I'm back to playing my games.

6. Go run like mad (Satisfaction: 6/10)
I figured I must promote my CCA a bit, since I'm injured and out of action for two weeks. See, believe it or not, running is fun. You get to go places, see places and get the satisfaction that you're keeping fit and keeping in good shape for Napfa. Take it as training and take pride in the knowledge that you'll probably own everyone in 2.4km. Running like mad sure helps. Go anywhere you want, perhaps somewhere like Orchard. It's been proven possible by certain jokers.

Oh, and before I forget, do bring a towel and a change of clothing. You'll find it useful. Don't run to Orchard and realise you are a piece of shit in a nursery, as in a flower nursery. Then you'd best go hide in the toilet, where even so you'll still stink. The toilets there are first-rate and sigh.. everything is perfect in Orchard. Wasting time in this way is good, for it at least ensures that you have a certain level of fitness when school reopens. Of course, that is also the prerequisite for doing this activity. Damn fun la.

7. Fragging (Satisfaction: 7.5/10)
If you've always had an innate love for the water and have always loved seeing things fly from high places, then I suggest this activity for you. For the ignorant ones, fragging is basically the art of "making water fly". And to make water fly, you have to first let it take off from high places. Granted, flying is not bungee jumping but there is no doubt that to fly, it would have to involve high places. I mean who the heck would fly at a low altitude?! That's just dumb.

The requirements for fragging are: lots of plastic bags, lots of water, the skill of being able to tie plastic bags with water in them AND most importantly, an adventurous soul. Fragging can be carried out almost anywhere and everywhere, though of course the most thrilling place to frag would be places with high population density or basically places with lots of fools milling around. One way is to find a hotel room that overlooks Orchard Road, and then when no one's looking up (which is highly likely), you put your plan into action!!

The thing about fragging is that you're unlikely to be caught. But unfortunately if you DO get caught you can be quite GGfied, because throwing down water might cause severe shocks or heart attacks to the people on the streets. Now this isn't funny, because when certain people did fragging way back in RI on a Sec 1, the victim could not walk for an hour for he was too stunned by the impact. Hence, fragging is not for the weak-hearted, if you're the victim or the aggressor. Fragging at RJC is also possible, and might be better, because no one is going to die of a heart attack there. Either way, wherever you frag, I'm guessing that it would be very productive usage of time. No, wait. Let me rephrase that.

I KNOW it's very productive usage of time. Now trust me and start filling up your plastic bags. If you're an environmentalist and are into that "save the world" shit, then just do away with the plastic bags and just use buckets to pour the water down. That way you won't be littering or using excessive amounts of plastic would you?

8. Plan for Council (Satisfaction: 8.5/10)
Refer to earlier post. And after you're done come back here to read. That 400-word essay isn't going to get you anywhere so you'd better start thinking about what interview questions they could possibly ask you. And also start planning your campaign. It doesn't hurt to plan early does it. Now at least for this the effect might be quite 立竿见影, because the Council hype is and will slowly build up when school reopens. Then you can put your preparation into good use.

Oh, and especially if you get in, the satisfaction man!! But if you don't you are a jackass and you've just wasted one whole week planning. Oh wait, you planned to waste the week away anyway so good job well done.

9. Go kite-flying (Satisfaction: 9/10)
I'm afraid this is the most satisfying time-wasting thing I can think of because satisfaction (or utility) levels tend to be different among different people. That is called differentiation. The thing about kite-flying is that it is a very stress-releasing activity and it helps to drown your sorrows. Oh wait, I mean it helps you to fly your sorrows. Also if you go kite-flying with a few friends you can try to kite-fight, which is kind of interesting if you know what I mean.

The only reason why this doesn't get a 10 is because of the trees surrounding the place. Singapore is a Garden City, not a Kite City - and hence the surroundings aren't really exactly friendly to kites. Still, with perserverance and determination, I'm sure you still can enjoy yourself while wasting time. Uhh and another possible downside is Singapore's rubbish weather. As you all know it tends to get rather hot nowadays and then it suddenly rains for no reason. Now that sucks - so if you intend to employ this time-wasting method you best go find an indoor place to fly your kites. Also possible.

The subjective time-waster: Find a gf/bf!
Now as a bonus I have decided to offer another time-wasting option to you. After all, nine options is such a weird number so I give you ten. This is subjective in the sense that your satisfaction level tends to vary a lot. After all if you look like Frankenstein, your rejection level will definitely be sky high so your satisfaction level, being inversely proportional to your rejection level, will be tending to 0. Of course it's also possible that it's like an asymptote because you still can get some satisfaction from scaring others.

But on the other hand, if you're some yandao who can get a gf easily or if you're some chiobu who will get some bf easily then no, that won't be very rewarding either. After all, if you get a gf/bf so quickly you wouldn't be wasting much time. The best is to be average and then explore the various possibilities of finding a gf/bf. Ah now that's fun. And in case you haven't figured out by now, gf = girlfriend and bf = boyfriend. Hence if you're already attached it's not applicable to you. Oh wait, you COULD use this also hahaha! But yet again this is only if you are brave and want more thrill in your life.

Nevertheless, whatever plan you want to use to waste one week's worth of free time, remember to exercise discretion for anything that you do. I won't be responsible for your actions, because I'll be busy flying my kites. Meanwhile, do enjoy the week ahead! =)