Student Development

I believe that after five (long) weeks in RJC, you'd have at least one lesson of Student Development. Or rather, since five weeks ARE that long, perhaps you'd have at least TWO lessons of Student Development.

Don't give me that crap about not knowing what Student Development is about, for everyone's been through it. Unless, of course, you 1) have been ponning school (on Stud Dev days) on a regular basis, 2) have been skipping Stud Dev lessons on a regular basis or 3) you've been sick for the past one month. It's pretty much part of the curriculum as much as CLE was back in the RI days. Student Development is like Advanced CLE because the stuff they teach are certainly very advanced. (Or at least that is what they choose to believe.)

And before I start on anything, let me first tell you that what I write down (or type out) here has no figurative meaning. Just take everything literally, okay?

I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm going to try to break down what Student Development is all about. After all, as a mugger trying to score As in all his subjects, I also want to get an A for Stud Dev. So it's absolutely essential that I understand the crap they give. Now I'm sure you have the "No Apologies" handbook with you (that they gave out), so open it and let's go through the pages.

Cover page: A life with no apologies
I don't know what ideas you are getting from here, but for me anyone who goes through life without any apologies is a bloody rude bastard. No one's perfect and to err is human, so from here we can infer that everyone must have at least made one mistake in his/her entire life. And when you make mistakes, you correct them, don't you? That is what my Moral Ed teacher from Pri 2 told me and I remembered it until now. My FTs from RI also stressed the importance of admitting your mistakes. Then along came these Stud Dev faguts to tell you NOT TO APOLOGISE? Incorrigible isn't it.

(Now turn to the next page)

Page 1 (red): This journal belongs to..
It's just plain rubbish. At the bottom of the page you see "REWARD for finding and returning this journal", and then a range of choices for you, the choices being $999, $99, $9, 99¢, nothing or others. Now let me ask you, why all the 9s? It's stupid they should even put "$999" as a choice though, for this value is obviously out of my range and I prefer to have f(x)=9x where the domain of my x is always negative. That way you'll be fined (heavily) if you ever dare to return this rotten journal to me. And what's up with finding the journal because if someone has already picked up your journal, he has already found it. Duh.

(Turn the page again)

Page 2 (red): Copyright shit
More rubbish. They put "no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of Focus on the Family." Oops did I just break the copyright laws? Anyway if they really believed they were spreading good, they wouldn't restrict spreading the word that much. So what's in the journal must be really lethal poison.

Page 3 (white): Introduction
A lot of stuff to read at the top, which I won't copy and paste here because 1) I'm breaking copyright laws, 2) it's really tiring having to type crap (I'd rather type rubbish) and 3) I have better things to do. So basically at the end they ask you "ARE YOU READY TO LIVE LIFE WITH NO APOLOGIES?" Err, sorry, I can't do that.

(Next page)

Page 4 (red): No Middle Ground
The first sentence was very thought-provoking. Or rather, it was very sex-provoking because it went "Sex. It seems as though everybody's thinking about it, everybody's talking about it." Right. We came into the AVT expecting to be developed as students but instead we were forced to think about sex. Normally I spend my Tuesday afternoons going for French lessons (while in RI) or running around (during the holidays) or playing soccer, but I certainly don't get stuck in a silly air-con room being made to think about sex! I'd like to contest the reality of the title too - "No Middle Ground". Let me disprove it using a two-line theory.

Earth is made up of ground. - (1)
Middle Earth exists. - (2)

Doesn't take a rocket scientist to put (1) and (2) together.

Page 5 (white): The Human Person
Just a bloody waste of space. But since the page is white, when I say "bloody" I guess I mean white blood cells. All right just turn the damn page.

Page 6 (white): There Can Only Be One
I am unique because..
1) There is no other me.
2) I love Student Development. (no one else does)
3) No one mugs Stud Dev except me.
4) I used egg shells for calcium carbonate in the Chem Lab while every other cheapskate fagut went to use the damn powder or the silly limestone. That doesn't rock, that sucks. (And dissolves.)
5) I love every subject I take, which is hard to say for everyone.

Page 7 (white): Life Planner
Not only am I being taught to think about sex, I'm taught to plan my life as well? There were six boxes there, I think I'd play 2-1-2 with one goalkeeper. In 1 year, I'll survive my A levels and attempt to get 4 As. (I'm mugging already. Ya right.) In 3 years, I'll survive the army. In 5 years, I'll survive university. In 10 years, I'll survive the working world. In 20 years, I'll survive an economic downturn. (It's proven that there's at least one economic crisis in ten years.) In 40 years, I'd have survived so much to retire.

Man, life is good.

Page 8 (white): Favourite Quotes
I like this section. Oh yes I do.

"Everybody makes mistakes. Shawn, go make mistakes on the board!" - Chandy
"Don't think I don't know my monitor sleeps in class." - Nathan (FT last year)
"When you go JC, you can explore a little and get a girlfriend." - Neoh (FT Sec 3 and 4)
"Aux quels jours avez-vous libre?" - M. Chan (French teacher)
"Eh f*** you la c******!" - Soma
“这真是不光彩！”- Zhang Meisuo (FT Sec 1 and 2)

There are of course many more but listing all would take me too long. Go refer to TCS archives and maybe you'll get some very interesting ones. =)

Page 9 (black): Obstacles To My Goals
NOBODY GETS IN MY WAY! I AM INVINCIBLE!

Page 10 (white): Good Character Is..
This page consists of three parts, Head - to know the good, Heart - to feel the good and Hands - to do the good. Now this is really nonsense because how on earth do you DO a good? Goods are meant to be produced with raw materials (classified under capital, NOT land) and to be exported. You can export Good A or Good B depending on which good you have a comparative advantage in, but you certainly do NOT do the good.

You can have a mutual trade agreement such that the total world output is increased and both countries benefit. That is called symbiosis, certainly NOT doing the good. Anyone who says the phrase "doing a good" is really calling himself a n00b and deserves a knock on the head by Lagman. Remember, you DON'T DO A GOOD!

Page 11 (white): What People Say About Character
Quote number 1 was by anonymous, aka a coward. You can disregard that crap. Quote number 2 talks about "great moments", which sounds rather Physics to me so let's leave that out too. Finally, quote number 3 is too long for me to type it out so let me make up some quotes on my own. (That's what the book encourages us to do.)

a) Character comes with Leadership and Education. RI will prove it for me.
b) Character is a role that you play in shows like cartoons.
c) Character is a 9-letter word.
d) Character, like the word "crapper", starts with a "C" and ends with an "R".
e) Character is like dy/dx, can be differentiated and integrated.
f) Character is what gets you friends so you can abuse them.
etc.

The list doesn't really end.

Now although the list above might never end, my post will have to at some point. After all, I've got unlimited wants (to finish this post with an infinite number of words) but limited resources (I've still got only 24 hours a day). Therefore, I'm rather sad that I have to end off here, but don't worry, I'll be back soon to review the rest of the pages with you. =)

Don't you just love Student Development? Because I do.