A Series of Unfortunate Events

This is a two-part story of a recent misfortune that I had in RJC.

Actually, this is the first of a two-part story. I mean no offence to anyone because how can there possibly be offence in a post that is describing my misfortune? None right. Yes so without further ado, we have part one of the Series of Unfortunate Events.

Part One: Mt. Venatius
I'm sure all of you must have studied Physical Geog at one point in your life, most probably around Sec 1. I know, it's the most (bloody) boring-est subject in History (no pun intended) but what's to do when you can't choose your subject combi for Sec 1? So suck it, you're stuck with it. And the thing about studying Physical Geog is that you'll probably be familiar with this name - Mt. Vesuvius. Some temper volcano.

Yea well so when I had this PE teacher by the name of Venatius, I had an involuntary flashback to Sec 1 Geog. After all, it's hard to find such an exotic name so this relation is inevitable. Mt. Venatius. Sounds kind of cool doesn't it? Well very unfortunately last Friday morning he really became kind of a volcano, only he didn't spurt lava out of me because he probably couldn't store them in his body. Well he might if he could - I don't know, but then it's better not to speculate.

Basically, I was just standing there for attire check. If you understand the meaning of "attire" - it means your uniform, your socks - what you are wearing, right? Right. And since I am a model student when it comes to uniform (it's true), he couldn't find fault with me. You know, faults like San Andreas Fault? I figure he'd have a better chance of finding fault with himself, since he's a damn volcano. =)

BUT HE STILL FOUND IT WITH ME ANYWAY! =(

This was how the situation was like:


Then he brandished.. no wait he erupted.. a white slip. Shit, then I got pretty scared and was trying to run away but you know how it's like with volcanoes - no matter how fast you run, you cannot possibly outrun the lava that is spewing out. So in these situations, you try to find a way around it.

I did the RI-hair check tactic - "I didn't know (that my hair failed)".
Mt. Venatius: Didn't you read the Code of Conduct?
Me: Err.. no?
(Inside my head: Crazy you think I got nothing better to do is it.)

Then the Appeal to Pity tactic, which is somewhat of a fallacy but philosophers don't do their philosophisizing in volcanoes do they? So I had to try my luck.

"Sir, give me one chance, I'll cut it by next week."
"You've been given a lot of time."

Jacked. So I really got quite desperate when Mt. Venatius was still flooding me with his words. And I really hope he would stop because it was bad for the tourism of RJC (see even Human Geog is involved here). Because who would like a college with teachers that spurt out lava just because a student has long hair which is deemed unacceptable?

Duh no one!

I was trying to stall for time about how I really did not like white slips and I was almost on the brink of tears (really, I don't take TSD).. when suddenly I got a saviour! For the good of RJC, its tourism, and for curbing the lava of the volcano.. there came this female teacher whom I didn't know.

Then suddenly Mt. Venatius like had no more lava!

There!

The teacher saw how pitiful I looked and asked Mt. Venatius to give me a chance. Funny how just now he seemed almost determined to make his white slip lava reach me but the moment the female teacher came he just softened up. Now I don't know if he really likes her, it's just a SPECULATION and might be UNTRUE. So don't go around saying that I said this okay!

It might be just a coincidence of course. Maybe volcano suddenly no more pressure from below (or above) so he just stopped. In any case the teacher's influence certainly helped - for Mt. Venatius went to ask my CT about my behaviour in class. Being an exemplary student (duh) and a responsible PE Rep (which unfortunately Mt. Venatius doesn't know about), I naturally got off the hook. So much for Physical and Human Geography, in the end it's LUCK that matters!

And therefore with some real luck, the series of unfortunate events thus far ends with a happy ending. But don't get too happy yet, because there's Part Two to come tomorrow! So stay tuned, for after the shock of the volcano eruption that sent tremors down my spine, there are more unfortunate natural disasters to come. And just so that I'm in it again.


Note: I really don't have anything against the teacher, but it's really unfortunate how close I got to a white slip just hardly a fortnight after the system has been implemented. I have since gone for the re-check and I passed it. Obviously. I don't fancy facing an angry Mt. Venatius again. By the way he's usually dormant and cool, so yea, he's the coolest PE teacher that I have in RJC!