Despo Kia and his adventures

Upon the request for more Adventures of Despo Kia, I shall post more about thsi famous character that everyone wants to know more about.

But before i start, please dont expect his adventures to last long because this love is taking its toll on me. There is a limit how much i can pretend to be a girl with him and how much i can flirt with guys. I know you people want to know more but please think about his feelings. Like seriously! Haha. So i hope you can understand. But if you ever want his number please feel free to come and get it from me. And when you message him please do not pretend to be a girl. And please do not abuse his number.

Actually before i start again, i must stress the fact that this entire conversation was not staged or faked. And further more, this entire conversation was not carried out by me. Trust me i do not have the guts nor the balls nor the heart to stomach such lovey dovey mushy wushy messages.

Okay here goes:

Message 1. From me to Despo Kia:

Hi darling. I miss you alot alot (L)

[ You see i really cant bring myself to say i love some GUY alot alot. So it's kinda obvious that i dint send that. But it's okay to call someone darling once in a while. I bet his heart jumped when he saw the message]

Reply 1. From Despo Kia to me. {Of course from Despo Kia to me lah. Our relationship is some a function man. Number 1, it is a one-one relation so it can be counted as a function. Secondly, the function has an inverse. I do love him as much as he loves me.}

Haha riteeee..U send wrong person ya? Veri sweet tho..=)

[ The way he says it, the riteeee..really makes me go riteeee. Like you know, riteeeee. Riteeeee. Geddit? But this message, i kinda respect him ya? At least he has some dignity left in himself to know that he dont stand a chance. After all he didnt reply something like : I love you too. I would have given this sonofagun a slap on his face. But beri beri sweet tho like the berries on the tress also very sweet. But too bad it aint meant for you. So sad. But he thinks that he dont stand a chance then why does he wanna say that it's very sweet though? Well, put on your thinking gloves and let's analyse it. Well, for one, he can be implying that he thinks he is too inferior which will lead us to our next inference which is that he thinks im superior. Wah praise me shial! Okay secondly, he might be hinting that he likes it. Like you know. HINT HINT I LIKE YOU that kinda message? Kinda obvious and stupid but sometimes it works]

Message 2:
No la i really miss you. Why would i send to the wrong person. U're the only one in my life...(:

[ HAHA miss him. Oh my son. I wished i missed him. YAH YAH i confess i miss him alot alot alot alot like really alot alot to the power of x where x tends to infinite. Happy? NO! Why would i send to the wrong person? So many reasons to do that! Firstly, im a big time flirt and if you didnt know, brokeback mountain was based on a true story and that story was based on ME. So you can guess the rest. Wah imagine me spending the rest of my life with him in some mountain cave. Happy shial!]

Reply 2:
Hmmm nono. U're not X...haha. U dun sound like her at all. N X already like someone liao! Dun prank la. =)

[Wah so smart huh? Can know that im not the right person you are looking for eh? If you so smart then why cant u realise that i have been cheating on you for so long and dating other guys in the meanwhile? HAHA stooopid lah. I dont sound like her? Obviously i have an adam's apple of course i dont sound like a girl. Speaking of which, in case you dont know, you can remove someone's adam's apple by punching his throat quite hard. But please remember to keep that apple in a safe place if you ever decide to take it out to play. If you lose it then ggxx you sound like a bloody fag for the rest of your life.]

Message 3:
Well, i've thought about it... and i've decided i dont really like him after all.

[Well smart ass, i do love you alot alot alot. I dont really like anyone except you. You are the sun and the moon. You are the morning and the sunset. You are the cheecheongfun and the funchoy. You are like the fishball in the fishball noodles without which it will be called noodles only. You are like the yong in the yong tau fool. Okay forget it. I dont really like cowboyboys. I prefer guys hot and handsome like you so that i can feel secure.]

Reply 3:
Eh...But but. Wah u really dun sound like urself! Besides why would u like me! Makes no sense at all ya? Haha..Did u two quarrelled? this thing no play play de.

[Eh eh eh. you think you jay-z ah. EHHHHHHHHH! But but but but but but what but butbubtbutbtubtubtubtubtu. So many buts. Omg the next part is stupid. Firstly, "why would you like me?" if you know that i wont like you then why are you still hitting on me? And why are you so persevering? Oh my son he has no logic at all. Make no sense at all? Make dollars! {Stupid econs jokes}. If it doesnt make any sens to like you the why are you even contacting me in the first place? Wah lao u damn shoooopid.
Come to think of it we did quarrelled. We quarrelled while filming brokeback mountain. He said he dont like to wear his cowboy hat but i think he looks very shuai wearing his cowboy hat so i insisted he wear his cowboy hat and he tempurrrr me. Alamak.



Last but not least. This thing no play play de. Sonny, i have already played with your heart.]


The End