I Love Poker Cards

"morning college..blahblahblah....poker cards WILL BE ALLOWED AFTER 5pm, AND ONLY IN THE CANTEEN!!" And there was silence. Everyone was too shocked. I mean, how to survive without playing cards? Like, without bridge, how do we cross the troubled water? Die la just drown. Without hearts, oxygen and other nutrients won't get to our cells and we'll die. Either that or we'll be cold and heartless souls wandering around. And no Indian poker, how to promote racial harmony? you tell me, how can rjc survive?

It's a tremendous struggle, but tcs will strive to save the future of rjc. The key to playing cards is not to get caught. And you won't get caught if you have some secret place that only you and your buddies know of. First of all, don't feel guilty because you are helping safeguard the future of the school by playing cards. The teachers don't know it, but it's for their own good. somehow.

The plan is to find the secret places in school. I mean it's so big, surely there must be some nook and cranny that nobody goes to? For this purpose, one can organise a class expedition to search out every place in school. Now that place cannot be visited by teachers at all, because otherwise you will get the dreaded white slips. Here comes the tricky part. How do you determine if the place is frequented by anyone other than you?

Yup, you use booby traps. The best way would be to dig a hole in the morning and see who falls in at the end of the day, but it doesn't seem very feasible because practically the whole of the school is made of concrete, and unless your name is Yeoh Sengkong, i doubt that you will be able to dig through it. So it's a nice idea, but too bad.

Another half-assed idea is to set a leg trap, like the type that they use on bears. So it'll be like "wow, a hundred-dollar note on the floor, lemme just... OWWWW!!!" The trap strikes and the victim is immobilised. And for those who watched Saw or Saw2, it really is quite discomforting to be chained from the leg. But... it's a bit violent so screw it.

So back to more primitve but practical ideas. You can set up a strategic formation of drink cans at the targeted location so that anyone who walks past has to get rid of the cans. So you simply check at the end of the day to see if the cans have been disturbed. This theory is of course assuming that people are not so boliao as to disturb the cans and then return it to its exact position.

Another brilliant idea is to build a mini paper holder to stick onto the wall of the targeted location. Put some paper inside with a notice on the wall saying, "Take one to win a prize at the canteen", assuming the targeted location is not the canteen. Then you just check how many pieces of paper are left at the end of the day.

Of course, you don't actually have to scout out a location fully before playing cards there. Not if you have a foolproof alarm system. Again, if you choose to be boring, use cans to warn if someone is approaching. Otherwise, you can get a loser (but must be trustworthy) to be the sentry. But make sure you have an escape route first. For example, the fifth and sixth storeys of the staircase nearest the library, although seemingly deserted when it was scouted today, has no escape route and the only way is back down, where someone might be waiting with a white slip. You can't even jump down to the outside to escape if you wanted to. Don't jack yourself, always have an escape route.

So good luck everyone, and if you do find some good secret places, do tell us! We promise to keep it a secret!