The rise of a new evil

To all who have known me during your RI days:

If you think that I'm changing my ways for the better at RJC, you are wrong.

If you think that I'm going to start mugging for A levels, you are wrong.

If you think that I'm staying awake in lectures, you are still wrong.

You are very far from the truth, my friend. I have been none of those. I'm just mostly slacking and going through the motions at RJC. But now, I think it's time to continue my RI ways. The crazy ways that I used to swear by, the magical moments that I used to live by. Being an absolute fagut doing absolutely fagut stuff. Making a fool out of myself but totally enjoying it.

Thus my dear friends, let me introduce you to a new club called the Anti-Mugger Club, more commonly known as the AMC!!!! (Note this has a little in conjunction with the Anti-Tutorial Movement, the ATM, which all of us here - namely YH, YL and I - are part of.)

Though sounding very mugger on the surface on the premise that AMC also VERY INCIDENTALLY stands for American Maths Competition or Australian Maths Competition, we certainly do not bother to go for all those. I mean duh?! We don't even bother to complete our tutorials so sending us to competitions would be like forcing Elango to stop riding his silly bicycle and telling him to stop smoking for a day. It's not only near impossible, it IS impossible. You can try it.

But that's not the point today. I am here to encourage all you brave (and evil) people to sign up for this club. Set up by Paul Yap (my classmate/CT who I am going to overthrow) and me just today, the 16th of February, we are creating an alliance to rule the world. Okay maybe not the world, but we're here to have fun (sometimes at others' expense, but then again we're faguts I told you so) AND to enjoy JC life to the fullest. I don't know how you would interpret that statement but it's really not my problem.

Anyway, let us get down to what the club is about. Basically, as the name suggests, we aren't here to mug, we're here to enjoy life. After all, what is the point of life if you score 4 As but you suffer from depression? Worse still if you mug like hell and don't get 4 As. Might as well have fun, score damn low and then laugh about it! Now that's funny ahahahaha! So that's the first point of our club - to have fun by NOT mugging.

Our second function (we are one club, but have many functions so I guess we are really a one-many relation) is to sabo others into answering questions during lectures. Since there are many smart faguts around, they should be the ones enlightening us on how to solve questions! Well, the club seeks to facilitate the learning of everyone by GETTING reliable people to answer the questions. See, we do people favours.

And finally, we will provide very evil information about some people whom you might like to know about. We share information about certain notorious faguts (worse than us even), and how to avoid them/kick their arses. Or we'll just have fun sitting down at the canteen over glasses of lemon tea (aka soapwater) and backstabbing them. After all, if you don't like direct attacks, backstabs are the best. Plus, we're a club, so what's wrong with sharing information with your friends. Nothing wrong right? Good.

Now let us get on to the REQUIREMENTS of joining this wondrous club.

FIRST: 3.2 ≤ x ≤ 3.6, where x is your GPA
An anti-mugger club has to be anti-mugger, so if your GPA is higher than that I think you can go home. Borderline cases slightly above 3.6 can appeal to join the club, but the exco (ie Paul and I) will have to decide if we want you. (If you're evil why not.) Those below GPA 3.2 are even more welcome to join the club, and the appeal process is made easier for you. However, it is a prerequisite that you must be a very evil person. More on that later.

(For non-IP students, you cannot score 6-7 points for O levels. If yes get lost.)

SECOND: BE DAMN EVIL
Actually, you need not be damn evil, just by simply not being a goody-goody you qualify for our club. After all, how evil do you think an (ex-) CEC Council Chairman and an (ex-) Class Monitor can get? Plus, I had EXCEEDING EXPECTATION for my CLE! Okay granted their expectation of me must have been damn low but then again who cares. The point here is that you have to be evil to sabo, and thus have to be evil to join. We have the odd suanning and backstabbing activity and we don't need spoilsports.

THIRD: CANNOT BE ATTACHED
To be wholly dedicated to the cause, you cannot have a boyfriend/girlfriend. By the previous statement I think you realise that we welcome both boys and girls into the club. HOWEVER that doesn't mean we admit just anyone (refer to two points above), because the Exco also has to like your face. You might suit all the requirements but if we don't like you, then you still have to go away. Because you must understand we backstab, we don't attack people in front of them. Now that's violent.

Nevertheless, you can forget about joining if you are attached or if you intend to get attached. This club is not about love and comfort (though it's fun), and we have no time for BGR. You must be ruthless, heartless and be able to survive as a solo operative. We don't need couples joining and being all lovey-dovey, oh no. This is AMC, not JVC (Junior Valentine's Club). If you're looking for love, look for it somewhere else.

FOURTH: NO PARTICIPATION IN MATHS/SCIENCES LESSONS
Like I said, this is an anti-mugger club. We have no place for you if you're interested in debating if the quantum subshell 4s comes before 3d or the other way round. Neither do we have a place for you if you're interested in finding out whether f²(x) has a domain greater than the range of g(x). Be it lectures or tutorials, you would best just sit and stone and say nothing at all. However, this rule has an exception, it being that if the teacher calls you, then you of course respond. We are AMC, not some WSC (White Slip Club, not World Swimming Championships!)

Easy enough? I really hope so, because we intend to expand our club and make it really big. Right now I'm trying to open up the club to more people with GPA below 3.2, but I'll have to discuss it with the rest of the Exco. So don't worry all of you - more lax rules might be imposed in a bid to gain more membership. =) And anyway, don't forget you can always appeal if your GPA is not within the bracket. But if you don't meet the other requirements, no appeal is allowed.

Now that's what the club is about. =)

If you really think that we are that bloody bad, let me clarify what we are NOT.

1) We are not stupid people, we just don't mug. =)
2) We are not unreasonable people who smear others for the sake of doing so, we only will divulge information within the club and only with statistical evidence or proof. Personal experiences with the other guy will also be counted as evidence.
3) We do not disrupt lectures or sleep in them, we just listen and take in everything. It's just that we don't participate.
4) We don't gossip about others' relationships, we just irritate the people who irritate us. If they have a relationship, then that MIGHT be a plus point for us to whack.
5) We are inactive most of the time, for AMC is really more interested in slacking and minding our own business more than anything. So don't worry - we aren't really killing anyone.

The membership so far stands at 6 people, most of which who come from S07B (that's my bloody class) and a handful from S07A (some people's hands are quite small). But like I said, we are always looking to expand so join us today if you will. Applicants may just leave a message on the tagboard or message Paul on MSN. There is no deadline, for we will always welcome slackers.

Okay that's about it for now.


(P.S. I think YL fits the above criteria. So those crazy fans of his, interested to join?)