A Series of Unfortunate Events (2)

Part Two: Back to the Mat Barber

I guess I hair-ven been cutting my hair for quite long, which is why I 1) got pwned during attire (aka hair) check and 2) got to go cut my hair. Having too much time and too little money, I decided to be smart and make the economical choice: the Mat Barber. Remember the old slogan "mat barber, mat barber, only six dollar?" Yea he's that good man.

Anyway, there was one minor detail I overlooked. That the gap between secondary school and JC was as good as that of the Grand Canyon - for I have to pay an extra grand total of.. two dollars. Just to cut my hair. Now you might be thinking "that isn't a lot" but $2 can get you four curry puffs from stall 2, a plate of fried rice from stall 3, a Set Lunch from stall 4, shredded chicken noodles from stall 5.. you get what I mean.

Well anyway the mat barber was dumb enough to ask me if I was Sec 2 or Sec 3 while cutting my hair. I was wearing the RJC badge and he asked me that question!? But to surpass my old record of being stupid (by failing Physics by a hell lot), I very stupidly honestly told him that I was in JC. Then that cunning old fagut smiled to himself. He knew those two extra dollars were to be made off me. Bloody hell.

The haircut was done pretty quickly, and my hair looked rather pretty afterward. And then came the sorrow of parting with my money. Now if you've read the old chronicles (kronikels) of the mat barber last year, you'll know that I liken them to losing electrons. And it used to hurt me a lot when I lost 6, and now I'm losing 8! That's one full shell you bloody barber. It's like removing 8 electrons from Neon and downgrading it to the first quantum shell, so you probably know how painful it is. If you don't believe me, you can go ask Neon how painful he feels when he loses 8 electrons.

8 damn electrons. One full shell. That is hell man. Hell in the shell.

So after I lost my 8 electrons I was in excited state. Actually, more depressed than excited but for the sake of Chemistry (Kemistri) let us leave it as excited. After all losing money can be an exciting prospect.. because the feeling of bankruptcy gives you an inexplicable feeling of thrill, leaving you having to go earn back your money again. And you know that when you're bankrupt, you can only get richer! So yea I was pretty excited by being bankrupt. Then on my way back I started thinking about how strong the barber was.

At this stage you might think, "Huh? What has the barber being strong got to do with anything?"

My answer is that it has EVERYTHING to do with cutting hair. No he didn't exactly rip the strands of hair right off my head, but let me illustrate it to you diagrammatically to give you a better picture.



Presenting to you.. the ionisation/robbery energy (commonly known as IE/RE) of how much it takes to take n dollars off me! Where n, of course, is represented by the little integers just below the x-axis. Can you see it? If you can't you are a loser so go away please. Come on, if I can understand the concept of drawing graphs, anyone can. Though I understand you might have some questions about some irregularities in the graph.

An example would be as follows:


So you might be asking why the sudden jumps in losing money? Is it because like elements, I have quantum subshells? Well, OF COURSE NOT! Like who the hell is going to carry around a few wallets and sub-wallets?! Do you suppose I'm too free..? Even if you think so, I'm not. Ever since my bankruptcy last weekend, I've since gained back some money and so my value now will definitely be more than zero. Meaning I'm not free thank you very much.

Back to explaining the irregularities, the sudden jump between $2 to $3 is because of canteen stall prices at RJC. As I've explained earlier, $2 can do a lot at RJC canteen, ranging from buying fried rice to Subway cookies. As such, with a wide range of choices for only $2, it's best that I restrict my domain to money spent ≤$2. Of course, that will lead me to having many opportunity costs because I most certainly cannot eat everything. But then again, that's Economics and that's life! You have to deal with scarce resources and unlimited wants.

So much as I want to eat every single damn thing from every stall, you must understand that my scarce resources limit me. That's quite sad. Nevertheless, what I'm trying to say is that $2 is more or less the universal price in the canteen and that is why when you try to charge the extra dollar off me it's going to be bloody difficult for you.

Try to make me pay $3 for subway cookies and I'll demand that I get six of them. After all if you study demand curves you should know when quantity goes up, price goes up. I know the lecturer (that naggy lady) said that this concept (of price rising when quantity rises) is wrong but then again I don't like the lecturer so listen to me. If you are forced to pay extra, you'd better make the best out of it. She goes by Economics logic, I go by RJC logic. As a result, she's always unhappy while I'm always happy. Who wins? I win.

Stupid jack lecturer. Anyway I hope that explains the jump in RE from $2 to $3 .

Now as you can see, there is also another steep increase from $6 to $8 - which I've already explained earlier it is due to the sudden increase of the cost from secondary school to JC. I understand that I could have lied to him that I was in secondary school (he thought so anyway), but in the end RJC's values got to me. We must have integrity in whatever we do! Yea.. and as some bastard said "character is about how you behave when people don't look at you", I think I have damn good character. (thinking is free)

Even as it gets harder to take an additional dollar off me, the reason why the barber did it is because he understood the concept of decision making at the margin. He knew that I wouldn't get pissed off if he took $8 from me, but he knew that I would temper him the moment he took the next dollar. That is why he decided not to charge me $9. Anyway as indicated in the graph, I would refuse to pay anything $9 or more for a haircut, so it's no use trying that on me. The barber was lucky to made his decision making at the mar-jin, for had he tested my patience I would have tempered him like a Jin.

In any case, this is a learning point. Don't think your barber is an idiot. He might bloody hell study Economics and then get maximum profits out of you. These guys are geniuses now, you know. I bet my mat barber graduated with a degree in Economics, only that he had a great passion for cutting hair, and hence his position today. Basically just don't underestimate them.

So, having explained the two jumps in the graph, I hope that you will now get a clearer picture of what it's like to take money from me. I'm not an ATM (auto-teller machine), I'm an ATM (anti-tutorial movement) member. Next time you want to get $8 off me, you had better be real strong. Or it had better be Valentine's Day and I must have this strong urge to play a prank on you by spending as much money on the wrapping paper as I did on the gift. That way also works, but the condition here is that you have to be a member of my class. Not easy to fulfil eh.

I left the barber's that day feeling rather unstable, for losing electrons/dollars was never something to be relished. Being in an excited state and walking in an unstable manner, I made my way home. Indeed, what a series of unfortunate events.