Week 2 of holidays

It's the end of yet another week of holidays, and I think I'm getting the flu.

After all, bird flies, bird got flu.
Time flies, means time also got flu.

So now I kena flu from time.

Actually, I was feeling kind of bored this morning, having woken up at twelve. You can't feel good when you wake up at twelve. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say "afternoon" then, because "morning" would mean a.m. and when I woke up it was already p.m.. I think you get what I'm trying to say.

So since I was feeling bored, I decided to read the newspapers to try and boost my GP marks next year. They (dunno who also) said it is damn important to read the newspapers to score in GP. The reason why I think of how to score in GP, is because I need to further my cause of trying not to be last in class in JC.

Reading newspapers can be quite enjoyable, especially after a night of Gunbound.

Gunbound can be really addictive I tell you. It is another great time-waster for the holidays. I played from like 10pm to 2am last night, just for the sake of wasting time. Till I realised it was 1am and I should have slept long ago - then I went like "shit. it's 1am!! Last game!" Then played a few more rounds until it was 2am, when I had to stop because of bloody short circuit.

Bloody hell, Physics only serves to make your life difficult.

Anyway I must clarify that I'm quite a noob in Gunbound, just that I have my "moments" occasionally. Like, you know, a moment of a force? Where dy/dx = 0, I reach my peak in Gunbound. If even a noob like me can have so much fun in Gunbound, I think everyone should play. It is not a kiddy game, it is really for everyone to just play, have fun, forget your troubles (if you have any) and basically waste time.

I would call it a 雅俗共赏 game. (English translation of 雅俗共赏: Low-class dumb shits and high-class banana people all can appreciate this lovely game of Gunbound.) And I have a reason for saying this because I enjoyed it when I was quite smart in Sec 2, and I'm enjoying it now when I'm a stupid little boy in Sec 4.

Well instead of talking cock, here's a screenshot:


Never mind the background, the fun is in looking at the final scores. After all, the excitement in Gunbound is not in shooting high angles or doing powerful shotgun blasts, but in the final calculation of the scores! The process is a very Physics thing, like what we learnt in Sec 3.. this thing called vectors. Wind change must use more force to make the resultant force the same. Must have equilibrium then can hit your opponent.

So isn't that something very Physics?

The final result gives you space to calculate your total score and the total amount of gold you have. Then you start thinking about percentage change in your gold if you had shot that last one even better and dealt more damage to your opponent. How would that affect your score at the end?

Such is the joy of Gunbound - the lovely Mathematical concepts behind them all. Percentage change, vectors, equilibrium, etc. Man, I think RJC should conduct Gunbound courses for all of us to improve our grades for most of our subjects. It's multi-disciplinary after all. Take for example Raon - for why do you think its bombs are timed to explode at certain intervals? Chemistry, my friend, Chemistry!

Gunbound is about life. Life revolves around the sciences.

And so the conclusion still stands at you should all play Gunbound.

Okay now I think I've sidetracked too much. Back to what I wanted to say about reading the newspapers this afternoon. It was enjoyable because the articles were hilarious.

Take out your "Straits Times" - and the "Saturday" segment of it. Then turn to "S21", which is essentially the twenty-first page of the "Saturday" segment.

What S'pore's next generation holds is the title.

Very eye-catching. Because the "next" generation obviously refers to the young ones, i.e. people like us. Me and you who will be 国家未来的主人翁。We who will govern the country in future. Actually I wonder what would happen if I become Prime Minister - I'd revolutionise the whole of Singapore and model the stupid system that they have now. Guess what, I'd make it to become like RP!

Every year, you will get your GPA depending on 1) your work, 2) your contributions to society (CIP), 3) the amount of crimes you committed and 4) the number of times you suck up to me (remember I'm PM?).

If you can achieve GPA 4.0 - congratulations! You are the model citizen of the year. Get it three times in a row, I let you shake hands with me.

GPA 2.8 - 4.0 - you are generally an active citizen and you obviously pay attention during SS lessons and NE lectures. I like your activeness, and you're a good citizen.

GPA 2.0 - 2.8 - you are an apathetic fagut. You'd better get your act together before you drop to the next level, which would be absolutely terrible and regrettable on your part.

GPA < 2.0 - failure. You will report to me in my office, ie the Prime Minister's office. You will be stripped of your citizenship if you get these shit grades for three consective years (I'm not that cruel) and be demoted to the rank of an illegal immigrant. You can go work with the Banglas at the construction site, but if you have no work permit you will still be screwed anyway. So those who fall into this category had better beware! And serves you right for being such a bad citizen. Sure kena 褫夺 your bloody 公民权。

(last sentence translated: citizenship koped by govt)

Maybe I'll set up my own party when I grow up. No more PAP, but RP!

Woots man.

In any case, the article on page 21 has a few interesting extracts. Among them includes:

"[1] This MTV generation (that's us, who else) is also self-centred, materalistic and probably knows the price of everything but the value of none, having grown up in an era of stability. /

[2] That means he will probably think nothing about spending $4 on a cup of latte, while his father, who supports him, spends only 70 cents on his teh tarik at the corner coffee shop. /

[3] The Singapore teenager may know the name of the latest Japanese pop star but not his own Member of Parliament. /

[4] These instant-noodle children will likely change their mobile phone every two years or celebrate their secondary school graduation at a five-star hotel. If the teenager here can be put in a stereotype box, these few paragraphs could best help do it."

(okay shit I just realised why did I have to type it out if you're already reading it)

Now, let us review it part by part.

[1] makes no sense to me. If they know the price of "everything", that means they only know the price of one item, which is called "everything". Hence, why the "but" after that? They only know the value of one item and "none" is certainly not part of "everything", so what on earth is the writer trying to say.

[2] is another cockster statement. Latte won't cost $4, the bloody retailers will know better than to charge such a round figure. If it was even that cheap, it would cost $3.90, not $4. And I bet that latte would cost $5.90, not any of the prices they list. And the Straits Times obviously never go to S11 to check out where the poor RI boys (like me) hang out.

When I ask for kopi-O, the auntie wants to give me ice so she can charge me more. She thinks she can match up to Coffee Bean or Starbucks. So is it my fault that I am spending more? No, you blame the bloody auntie. I don't even spend 70 cents on teh tarik, I spend it on a can of Winter Melon tea from the vending machines in school. The newspapers don't get their facts right, man. They 混淆事实！(distort the truth)

[3] They are wrong yet again. I know neither. At least they used the word "may" - because if I were to know one, I would rather know my MP than know a fagut pop star thousands of miles away. Anyway those Jap fags invaded us once upon a time so why bother finding out who they are than finding out who WE are?

[4] I don't eat instant noodles, they get stuck in the gaps in my teeth. For someone with braces, it is recommended that they eat porridge. That's what I eat, okay.

They are right to say "likely" - because as of today my mobile phone is two years and three months old. Most teenagers' handphones last much less than that so the newspaper's assumption that we use it for two years is either way, WRONG!

We don't celebrate our graduation at a five-star hotel, thank you very much, though we do pay the sum required for a celebration at that sort of place. We are celebrating it at ORCHARD HOTEL, and are paying fifty-five SGD for it. So dig it, Straits Times, your facts aren't right. You don't know our batch, and you don't know Mrs Lilian Tan.

Nowadays teenagers grow real fast and have great physical stature, so you can't possibly put them in a box. Plus, paragraphs are just words, not big musclemen who could shove teenagers into boxes using brute force. Although it is true that "the pen is mightier than the sword", the word is not mightier than the muscleman. So you don't try shoving teenagers into little boxes using paragraphs of words.

Okay, so that's my article review done for today.

I think I'm bloody hardworking, doing article reviews in the middle of the holidays.

Well, so would any RI teacher like to mark my script? I'd gladly accept his/her kind gesture.

But for now, I would just like to slack and watch as another week of holidays flies by.