Result slips tomorrow!

Here's a reminder that all RI pupils are reminded to go back to school tomorrow.

Not for "O" levels, but for result slips. Hope you don't slip after you see your screwed up results!

Of course, there can be three possibilities. One is that everything turned out the way it was supposed to turn out, another is that there's some freak change in one or more of your results, and the last is that (knowing RI's screwed up admin) there will be no slips.

Scenario three is the best because you don't have to explain anything. Let RI waste money on stamps and mail it. However, judging by the way they splurge on Philo containers and makeshift refugee camps, I doubt very much that they will spare any expense in mailing you the results. This is because it only proves that RI only spends money on useless stuff, like the afore-mentioned two items, while stamps are a useful purchase. So you'd probably have to go back to school on another day and all you get is "tough luck" from the filthy old lady at the Admin Office. I'd say tough luck too.

Scenario two can work either way, good or bad (duh). If results are better than what you think they are, just shut the hell up and go play soccer. It doesn't pay to be honest, because RI won't carve your name up in gold the way they do to The Great One John Samuel (HP 2002), The Not So Bad Bertram Ang (HP 2003), The Average Sergius Wat (HP 2004) or The Failed Pep Talk Idiot Timothy Chow (undeserving HP 2005). If they are worse than they should be, go see higher authorities at once. The stupid admin office staff will just brush you off, or in certain instances, tell you to go screw off. I've experienced it before, so trust me if you ever have to get your marks moderated upwards. Don't just hang around, go and see the big boss behind it all named Mrs Tan Siok Mui. Admin office people are just rude and are merely more educated Elangos.

Scenario one is the expected scenario. You get back your expected good or bad results.

If good, then good. Go play soccer.

If bad, then you probably don't want to go home to face World War 3. Go play soccer. But you don't have to worry so much about having bad results, because there will always be someone worse than you. No prizes for guessing who.. for the idiot is right behind the computer screen used to post this entry. That's me!! If you want any consolation or something like that, I'm always available on my mobile, though you might have to turn it on for me, because I usually leave it off. Or you can always email me and ask for my results. I'm not posting it here in case I get sued for indecent exposure. Of obscenely low marks.

So in any case, chin up if you're getting back your results tomorrow. There's nothing better than to face reality after a long break of.. one week? Oh yea.

I love school. Looking forward to going back.

By the way, there will be soccer at nine for all 4J people (which explains the two sentences above). Be sure to turn up, or either Ihtimam or myself will go to two-foot tackle you.