A cooking experience

For the first time in my life, I'm trying to cook my own damn lunch. And it only took me thirty seconds to make me realise I had the talent for cooking, and could be the next Jamie Oliver. But I believe there are two fundamental obstacles that is preventing me from doing so.

a) I'm not a chef.. and
b) I'm not naked.

As for the taste of the food, I can't tell you because my food is still not cooked yet - although it's been under fire for like.. half an hour? I don't get it, either. If I had a picture I'd show you - but I'm very busy now clearing up the place, because I spilled some green beans on the floor. Some meaning quite a lot. But anyway I don't see what's that got to do with cooking and thus I will be a great cook.

After I become a musician.

You might ask why do I need thirty seconds to explore my potential? Simple. I turned on the gas, and then took out the lighter and lighted the stove. I couldn't do it and lots of stinky gas was coming out (which by the way led me to wonder why people want to commit suicide that way), so I had to turn off the stove. And turn it on again. Funny I was poking the lighter right at the stove but it still wouldn't bloody hell light up.

They say the third time's lucky, but not for me. I got it at the fourth try. Thirty seconds - I owned you.

By the way, do not think I'm just slacking here posting. I'm making occasional checks on my food in the pot, still slowly but surely boiling. You think cooking's that easy? Try it yourself! I found out that cooking is only easy in Runescape - where you can level up like 20 times in just an hour, but not in real life.

For most, it won't be easy. To me, it is VERY easy. It's only that I have to keep waiting for the water to boil, which by the way still isn't boiled. And it's been forty minutes. I'm beginning to think that someone has seen my potential as a great cook and is trying to sabotage it. I mean, it's obviously heating up, because I went to touch the metal pot just to prove that it's hot. Well, it was quite hot. Quite hot in the sense that I had to wrap up my finger.

I've proven two points here:

a) My water is INDEED going to boil soon;
b) Metal conducts heat

I know my finger hurts but for the sake of science, I did it. I'm probably like some 伟大 guy now, since I'm willing to 为科学而牺牲。Go read your Chinese textbook 4A the 19th lesson and you'll see what I mean. I think I deserve to be ranked alongside those guys.

It's 1:47PM and I found a thermometer to stick into the pot.

Baskit it just stopped at H! (high)

Seems like nothing's gonna work so I'll just talk here a while more. Speaking of science and experimentation, should I be a scientist after I develop my music career? Or should I go and cook all sorts of funny food? I think I have talent in both areas, and could make lots of money either way. Sigh. This is a dilemma you get sometimes when you're too good. Sometimes I wish I was like certain classmates of mine, so lousy in everything that they end up cheating and playing computer games to make themselves feel good.

Not that playing computer games is bad, mind you. I play the occasional one (maybe more) but playing computer games to replace your real life is bad. If you did many 作文 you'll know. 首先, it damages the eyes and causes myopia. 其次, it gets you hooked. 再次, since it's on the computer you'll start surfing porn.

And it potentially has many social dangers. 第一, there will be no pilots in Singapore. 第二, there will be a drop in the addict's GPA, thus pulling down the local average and RP will bloody hell fail even MORE BADLY than it will now. And finally, 第三, there will be more sex maniacs in Singapore.

If you think carefully, all three points can lead to disasters.

Well, it's been fifty-three minutes and my water is boiling. That was a nice chat we had here.

Now I'm off for lunch and I hope you have lots to learn from my cooking experience. Oh yea and if you would like to further prove that the metal used to make the pot can conduct heat, then do the same as I did. Aspiring scientists of the future would look up to you as a role model.