Simply the Best

GEORGE BEST
1946 - 2005


I'm sure you would all have known by now that George Best has died.

If you don't, I'm telling you now. And I'm telling you as well you should 1) stop playing WoW, 2) go read some papers. Actually you don't even need to read the papers for this tabloid here can tell you.

Now on to business. I'm really saddened by his death because I honestly think he was once a great football player. He was a great dribbler, making fools out of his opponents, and always scoring cheekily. I'm a great fan of his, and his gameplay is simply scintillating (though I've never actually watched him in action). The way the experts describe him, I suppose that I could give an account of how he plays as well. Seriously, he's just that damn good.

But he has made a great mistake in life. A grave, grave, mistake.

And contrary to popular belief, I don't think the mistake is with alcholism. After all, tons of football players (and non-football players) drink. The booze is a way of life in England - so what the hell is wrong if a talented players wants his share? I say give it to him. The player will just have to exercise discipline if he wants to drink. Old Georgie Best certainly didn't, but no big shit - that wasn't his greatest mistake.

His mistake? Playing for Manchester United, that dumb cunt.

Who in the right mind wants to play for Manchester United? Everyone in that set-up is destined for doom and ill fate. Now before you say I'm spouting rubbish, we'll just have a few case studies.

Roy Keane
If you haven't been reading about George Best, you wouldn't know about Roy Keane. Well they say he walked out of the club, though we all know the reality is that Sir Alex Ferguson, that ruthless bastard, had yet again gotten rid of one of his most loyal players. I mean after twelve years of service, all he'd get was a kick out? Not even a thank you card? Or at least some pension for his old age? They didn't state that in the papers anyway. What's more that cunning old sod had to do it before Christmas so there would be less United players to give bonuses to. Seriously, I despise that old bastard Ferguson and so should all of you. He's old, but he's still a bastard.

David Beckham
Another victim of Fergie's and the Manchester United set-up. Because Manchester United is basically catered for Fergie, if you haven't noticed. They won't dare sack that old cantankerous twat (ie fighting bull) because he's got a hair dryer and he uses it to "treat" his players. The board probably fears him as well. Well Golden Balls here hasn't had much better luck with Man Utd, what with a boot on his face and a royal merciless kick out (à la Roy Keane). Ferguson hasn't apologised for the incident as far as I recall, and it's not because my memory is bad. I can remember why he kicked the boot at Beckham - because those devils lost (haha losers!!) AT HOME against West Ham Utd 0-1 in the FA Cup Fourth Round in 2003. So how's that.

If the two people above say they have immense respect for Fergie, then they are bloody lying.

Mark Bosnich
Victim of Man Utd. This fat Australian guy eventually got replaced by Mark Schwarzer in the Socceroo's lineup while being sent away from Man Utd. Bosnich ended up stuffing himself with prawn sandwich (eh rhymes), and is currently at who-knows-where. Not like anyone at Man Utd (or anywhere else for that matter), will miss him. Except maybe his mother.

Eric Cantona
Temperamental old French sod also disappeared after a soggy affair with Man Utd. I liked his karate kick, which probably was developed in his days with Man Utd. They develop your violent tendencies then dock your pay - and that is how Man Utd stays rich.

Wayne Rooney
Boy, he's got such an ugly fiancee. Devil never gets the best women.

Massimo Taibi
Another victim of the Scary Scot called Fergie. Just because they lost one match to Chelsea, albeit by a scoreline of 5-0, he sacked him for life. It's not fair, he wasn't even given a chance. But what to do when you're at Man Utd? Jinx club.

Fabien Barthez
Winner at France 98, but what happened after he went to Man Utd? He got criticised for his antics and started screwing up. In the end, French companies got him to advertise for butter and Fergie just froze his arse off while he brought in Tim Howard.

Tim Howard
Also gone just because of one or two lousy performances. I told you Fergie was a bastard.

I think that's more than enough proof that Man Utd is jinxed. All the players were excellent at their former clubs, but fell quickly at Man Utd because of the jinx and then get blamed for it. Finally, they are mercilessly booted out of the club. Very sad cases here.

And it's pretty evident who the culprit is. This crazy old Scot.



Part of Man Utd set-up. Super jinx.

George Best was slightly different. He suffered the jinx of Man Utd a little late. It is all thanks to the influence of Man Utd that he started drinking, which in turn led to very bad health. Now everyone in Manchester comes to pay tribute to him, but isn't it a bit too late? If old Georgie had never set foot in Man Utd, he could well be alive today blasting Sir Alex. It's just a pity he isn't.

No disrespect to Best, but I don't think he's the best player in the world. Sometimes facts get exaggerated along the way and people start saying he's the best because of his name and his sublime skills. Well.. he is indeed good, but can he be the best in the WORLD?

Pele said he's the "best player in Europe", which might be true. Pele is being a cunning bastard here, for he's trying to imply that he's the best in the world, but no. I don't think Pele is the best either.

Best is not the best simply because V Sundramoothy is. I think he's a tough old fighter.

And don't forget, Singapore won the Tiger Cup in one of these years (damn I forgot, was it this year or last?). Even if he wasn't in the team, I think he must have been an inspiration. After all, he's played in the S League so long and inspired so many wannabes. In this sense, I think Fandi Ahmad can rank alongside him. Either Sundram or Fandi has to be the best in the world, because they are so very inspirational.

Well, you might argue, Best was inspirational to some too.

Yes, but did George Best win the Tiger Cup?

I could bet my last dollar he didn't. Only my last dollar, mind you. Meaning $1.

He won everything else except one of the most important competitions. Tiger Cup is one of the most prestigious competitions in the world, in case you didn't know by now. I'm telling you, Tiger Cup must be viewed as an important thing because it brought Singapore to 93rd position in FIFA rankings, top in Southeast Asia and even above Thailand.

Ah, but when Best won the Premier League with Man Utd or whatever cups, did you see England rise to being the top of Europe? Obviously not.

So I think it's evident we should all see Tiger Cup differently. I don't have a picture to show you what the Tiger Cup is like, but rest assured it's more than just a lame picture of a tiger put on a cup. I think you can imagine that. Even if it IS just a lame tiger on a cup, the significance of it is definitely more than what you can imagine. So even though there's no picture, I hope you would learn to appreciate the wonders of Tiger Cup.

Nevertheless, even though one of our local soccer players are the best in the world (because they won Tiger Cup), we must all not forget George Best for being what he is and doing what he liked. He's kind of a coolio and a buaya, but face it, he had l33t soccer skills.

I don't like buayas, but I do like soccer. So George Best will always be remembered in my heart. (I'm lying.)

Rest in peace, Georgie. Fergie's still very much alive, and won't be bugging you down/up there for some time to come. I'd be observing one minute of silence for you when I go to sleep tonight.