Guess who's back

Finally back after a tour. And I did bring back a prize. Here’s a picture of it.

...and a picture of it smashed

Gross, but what did you expect from TalkCOCKsummit. Winner please get it from me personally. I don't want to keep it. Anyway I did learn quite a lot during my holiday. For example, Singaporeans 大言不惭when we say we are the no.1 kiasu people. I just don’t see how we can defeat China in that. And I thought the cut-queue situation in ri was bad.

At KFC:

At a supermarket:

So I just kept quiet because that wasn’t my 地盘 and the chinamen all looked like ho sheng with the potential to kick my ass.

I also went to Hong Kong Disneyland, and it was very crowded. The first thing you should do when you get in is to rent a wheelchair. Because people on wheelchairs are king in Disneyland. Never mind that the rent is HK$50. It’s totally worth it. You are like Moses and the Red Sea. The waves part for you. Illustration follows:

The most exciting ride in Hong Kong Disneyland is one where the minimum height requirement is 102cm. That just about tells you how exciting it is. Overall, Disneyland is still okay, because the shows are quite nice. But the land area is small, so be warned.

After I came back from Singapore, some market research person called me. Dialogue follows:

Researcher: I am from blahblahblah market research company and we are doing a survey. Can I have a few minutes of your time?

Me: Sure (I’m a nice guy)

Researcher: We are trying to find out which are the most popular radio stations in Singapore for audience between the age of 15 and 34. May I know how old are you?

Me: 14

Researcher: So that means you are not eligible for this survey.

Me: oh I’m so sorry

Researcher: Are there any of your parents at home?

Me: no

Researcher: Do you know when they will be back?

Me: no

Researcher: ok byebye

Wow. I managed to lie in just about every answer. I hate telephone research people. They actually get money for wasting my time. That’s so unfair.

Stephanie Sun sucks. Just look at how brainless the lyrics of her new song (完美的一天) are.

我要一所大房子 like duh. Who doesn’t?
有很大的落地窗户 you like peeping toms?
阳光洒在地板上
也温暖了我的被子
我要一所大房子 repeats mistake no.1
有很多很多的房间
一个房间有最快的网路
一个房间有很多的吉他 how many guitars can you play at a time?
一个房间有我漂亮的衣服 you don’t have any pretty clothes
一个房间住著朋友和他的爱人 you think they want to live with you?
一个房间一个房间 meaningless
我也不知道该放些什黱 you are stupid
我们晚上不睡觉 doing scandalous things
白天在床上思考 regretting what you did the night before
小狗在屋里奔跑 totally irrelevant
度过完美的一天 somehow this becomes a perfect day
度过完美的一天 we’re not retards, don’t need you to tell us twice

She wants this, she wants that. Materialistic idiot. Unlike her, I've become enlightened. I have answered the ancient question of "what makes a man".

Premise: A dog is a man's best friend
Conclusion: a man is someone whose best friend is a dog

Are you a man?