Survey

In another valiant attempt to kill more time before a soccer match (The Devil vs The Girl), I will do a survey. They can be found in great numbers across Friendster bulletin boards as well as around certain blogs. I admit I used to post really stupid surveys at Friendster bulletin boards for everyone to enjoy, but now I've more or less snapped out of the habit. Okay, maybe the occasional shit bulletin. But no more.

Which is why I'm feeling a sense of nostalgia now. I hope you all enjoy this:

1) Who's at home now?
There's my family in my first home..
and Elango and the security company at my second home.

2) Did u go out yesterday?
DUH. I have to jam everyday right!

3) Who did you go out with last?
Isn't the answer already in the question. However - you are wrong - I did not go out with "last", but with my family.

4) What time did u wake up today?
Tiger time.

5) Did u go anywhere today?
No. I went to the stadium, the food court and the toilet, but I didn't go to this place called "anywhere".

6) What did u do there?
Do where?

7) How old are u now?
Four-fifths of a one-score and quite a few months for good measure.

8) What do u call your mother?
-_-".. most of the time "Mum", but if I'm pissed "OI!"

9) Are u and your mom on good terms?
I call my mother "mum", not "mom", thank you very much. I have no "mom". "Mom" is an American spelling and I am not an American, and nor is my mother American so your question is bloody not applicable to me.

10) Are u the only girl/boy in ur family?
It's impossible to be when your parents was either once boy or girl. There is no such thing as only boy or only girl. Don't believe me you can go ask Confucius.

11) What perfume/cologne are u using now?
The only thing I use to make myself smell better is this compound made up of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. And whatever is it they have in the soap. There are too many chemicals that I simply cannot remember, though when I study Chemistry in greater detail I promise you I will.

12) Who did u last talk to last night?
My radio. It went something like, "WILL YOU F**KING WORK!"

13) Are u spoiled?
No - I still get the occasional GPA 4.

14) Do u want to get married?
I will not comment on sensitive issues.

15) With who?
If this is a question by itself, I think it's a pretty stupid one. Because there's no meaning in it.

16) Where do u think your friends are now?
Online.

17) Do u think your friends need u now?
No because there aren't any more assignments to do. I am only required when it's school term and assignment is due tomorrow. Or maybe when they feel bored and when their gf is daoing them then I might come in handy for talking cock. Might only.

18) Where do u wish to be?
RI once again. Confirm get GPA 4.00 average this time.

19) When will u be buying a car?
When someone gives me a car, I'll buy one to reciprocate his kindness.

20) What type of car do u wanna buy?
Carrefour. They are a multinational company and are making tons of money all over the world. I'd be damn rich if I could even get close to buying that sort of car.

21) If u were to be a car, what type will u be?
Carbon. I am useful but can be pollutive when I'm with a monoxide or a dioxide.

22) Who do u wish to meet now?
Tan Puay Hock. There's a Chinese advertisement on my computer which I don't understand a single word of.

23) Do u wanna meet taufik batisah?
I bet I'll beat him in soccer. And probably in chapteh.

24) Who do u approach when u have a prob?
I have no problem. The problem always lies with THE SYSTEM. And Raffles Programme.

25) What do u want for your birthday?
Three wishes, so I can use those three wishes to wish for an endless number of wishes. (Some people are really stupid, when they get three wishes they don't bother to make it multiply. My wishes are inexhaustible and is a renewable resource like natural gas.)

26) What do u wish for coming Christmas?
I want Santa Claus to give me a Gameboy Advance. Or at least he could fix my Gameboy Colour.

27) Any piercings on u?
One bastard in primary school stabbed me with a pencil once. Does that count?

28) Would u like to have a tattoo?
No. Go away. I'm no Tumnus.

29) How many kids do u want?
I don't exactly fancy baby goats. I'm no farmer and if I have any kids they might grow up and become Tumnus. (A kid is a baby goat, if I'm not wrong?)

30) Any homework?
UNFORTUNATELY NO.

31) Are u listening to any music now?
Yes. Because I'm playing Pokémon and there's always nice music going on.

32) Do u believe in miracles?
Not until I got that moderation for Maths.

33) Do u believe in fate?
I'm fated to be a loser so I don't believe in it.

34) When did u last cry?
In the past.

35) When did u last smile?
That's begging the question, and I do not like beggars who keep begging me to find out when did I last do this or do that. Stalker is it? Or is just plain inquisitive? Both are just as bad, I despise both of you lots.

36) When did u last receive a gift?
I'm still pissed at whoever you are, making this dumb survey. You don't have the right to ask me such stupid questions, and neither am I compelled to answer you!

37) Who has the cutest smile u ever seen?
I'm not going to say anything until your questions get better.

38) What do u want to tell your crush?
Get off me before I die of suffocation.

39) Why are u answering this bulletin?
Because it's the "in" thing. And although there are no bullets, I'd still like to be "in".

40) Do you kiss your parents goodnight?
Yes I very much do.

41) Your hair colour?
Natural, thank you.

42) Hairstyle?
My hair has no style - unless you consider the CBB a style. Cannot Be Bothered!

43) Are u being loved by someone?
I do not have enough experience to level up to the level where I can read others' minds, and nor do I study philosophy or psychology. Thus, your question sucks.

44) Any wishes?
I wish I'll have ten more wishes!
And my first wish out of those ten is wishing that this survey would end.

Oh, looks like my wish came true. Time for some soccer.