What to do if you're stuck on an island of idiots

Well yj and yh are on leave on the sunny paradise of Bintan, which happens to be island. No they probably won't be surrounded by idiots, but you never know. But I do wonder about the CCA Leaders' Camp. If everyone there's a leader, who's going to be the worker? But then again they have to carry stuff around, so that means some people will have to downgrade or demote to being mere workers like the rest of us here. So in the end, the chao slackers are the leaders. Might as well call it the CCA Workers' Camp.

Like all good essays, first I must define what I mean by idiots. Dictionary.com states that
"A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive." Well, for me, it's a lot simpler. Anyone who I find irritating is an idiot, and it is just my personal classification table.
10 descriptions of people with no.1 being used to describe the most hated.

10. stranger
9. acquaintance
8. daoing target
7. bitch
6. idiot
5. cb
4. dickhead
3. asshole
2. bastard
1. fucker

I'm sorry this 'guide' is only useful when it's an island full of idiots and not of assholes, because I think its very disgusting if there's such a thing as an island of assholes. There'll be shit all over the place.
On the other hand, it won't be that bad if you have an island of bitches, because then you wouldn't have to worry about food. Dog meat is quite tasty, i guess. How do you get a bitch? First you catch a bee, then you get an itch, which gives you a bitch (beeitch). An island full of fuckers would be, ahem, like Temptation Island. And an island full of bastards would mean lots of irresponsible parents. So enough crapping, let's get to some more practical stuff.

1. Swim away you idiot! That's what I train waterpolo for, to allow myself to get away from dangerous situations. No doubt yj and yh have the same abilities as me, so don't be surprised if you suddenly see either of them walking along a street in Singapore tomorrow.

2. If you can't beat them, join them. Talk to yourself. Be more idiotic than them. Better still, be a stinking asshole. That way, everyone will siam and you can have the island all to yourself. One idiot is better than an island of idiots. But do be careful about talking to yourself too much. Cos maybe you'll develop split personalities and 2 personalities cannot fit into one body. There'll be a personality clash which means a conflict between yourself and your other self. Then you'll start fighting yourself, and finally kill yourself. Which might not be a bad thing, but that's besides the point.

3. In the last paragraph I said that if you can't beat them, join them. But the truth is that in most cases, you can beat them. Oh and add slash and maim to that. See that shiny chopper on the table? Take it. Wave it around. Slash someone or something And now you can go become king of the island. Show everyone who's the real leader. Let everyone kneel in front of you and your right-hand man the Chopper. That's assuming the others don't have weapons of course. This must have been a result of my watching My Wife Is A Gangster. Anyone you don't like? Slash chop poke (use the seemingly innocent chopstick to poke the eye) until all that's left is a crumpled heap of corpses. and an eyeball-on-a-stick. Domination by force.

4. Play dead. Idiots don't care about team play or anything. Idiots only care about themselves, so if you play dead, they'll sure leave you alone. Of course, it'll be more convincing with a pool of blood all around you so that nobody even dares to come close and see whether you're actually breathing. ( From the movie Saw) Everyone assumes you're dead. So in the middle of the night, you take a wig, paint yourself a ghostly white, and start calling people on their handphones, (for those who think that islands don't have reception, allow me to remind you that Singapore is an island) and make all sorts of weird noises. And then you make your grand entrance as sadako to scare everyone away and kope all the food and drinks. To make things more realistic, you might want to find a well that you can climb out of. If you accidentally fall into the well, this whole sadako thingy might just come true.

5. Pray. For a volcano to erupt or an earthquake to happen such that nobody survives it but you. Or better still, pray for floods, and start building your ark. They laugh at you now, but who'll get the last laugh when the rain comes? Haha, actually i think it's them, because they're such idiots that when the rain comes, they'll just kope your ark and throw you into the sea. I have no idea why the sinners in the Noah's Ark story never attempted to take his boat by force. Aren't sinners supposed to do evil things like that?

Ok so I'm done with this 'guide'. Follow the steps prescribed at your own peril. Oh and I hate pw.