Holland has won the world cup!

I know the world cup has yet to kick off, but I can't wait to share this piece of exciting news with you people out there! Holland has won the 2006 World Cup!

Last night, it was all dark. I was lying on my bed trying hard to fall asleep. And then, through the darkness, I saw the light. It was a narrow tunnel of bright white light, so shimmery that i could hardly open my eyes. And then a voice said in a serious tone," Holland has won the World Cup" and I saw the image of Ruud van Nistelrooy lifting the Jules Rimet trophy.

Everyone knows that the voices of dreams are to be trusted, so hurry up and head down to the nearest betting booth to place your bets now. If you don't want the free money it's your loss.

In fact, there is no way that Holland doesn't win the World Cup. The omens and signs and whatever shit are all there. For those thick-headed among you who still do not believe me, I give you more evidence.





















Take a good look at this picture.Whats the dominating colour? Orange. What's the colour of the national team of Holland? Orange. They're not called the Oranje for nothing. Further evidence:


What does this picture shows? It shows some Dutch player kicking Michael Ballack's ass. Dutch players are going to kick everyone's ass, and you'd better believe me.

All the matches have been fixed liao, by some mafia, and they've decided that Holland should win the World Cup since they've never won it before.

Actually the gangs wanted Angola, because the odds were the highest, but then it would have been too obvious it's all kelong, like last time the Greece win the Euro like that. But Greek fairytale sounds ok, while Angolan fairytale sounds plain weird. Maybe next time it's Saudi Arabia's turn. But they took the most pity with Holland, because now got global warming, causing the water levels to rise, and Holland is a low-lying country, next time World Cup don't know whether it's still around or not. So for Germany 2006, the World Cup winner is HOLLAND!

Damn the spam

What the heck. I just came back from Bintan (okay it's actually been a few hours) and my return to technology (teknologi) thus far has been rather disappointing. Here's why:

1) YL didn't blog today, which means I have to do it now at such an unearthly hour. (P.S. I had more time to sleep at the camp than in Singapore, damn it.)

2) My mailbox kena spammed, which wasn't much of a surprise. But you know how irritating it is to see one whole boxful of rubbish sometimes.

3) From point 2, I HAD a boxful of rubbish. Or at least, this one was. Today's post is just to condemn a silly chain letters that I received.

Anything in bold is my personal comment to it. Anything in normal font is the letter's f**ing rubbish. Here goes this shit:

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This is without a doubt one of the nicest forwards I have received. Hope it works for you -- and me!
This doesn't make any sense and it's just darn gay. You DO NOT receive nicest forwards. Nice forwards are perhaps people like Michael Owen who seldom gets yellow cards in their whole playing career. Nice forwards play soccer, they do not go into your email.

You have 6 minutes
Why SIX? Why not five, why not seven, why not eight?

There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious.
Any advice governed by laws of superstition is not proper advice. It's bullshit and it's trash pulled out from nowhere, I'll have you know.

This has been sent To you from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far.
Firstly, I do not know Who The Shit is Anthony Robbins and I'm quite sure I Do Not Want To Find Out. Secondly, How The Hell are you supposed to know how many times it's been sent round the world. It's a bloody email, not something tangible. So their logic holds no water. Anthony Robbins is a wanker.

Do not keep this message.
You are so damn right I'm not keeping this message. I'm gonna bloody post it on my blog.

It must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.
It's not in my hands, it's in my mailbox. And since you're warning me that I'm getting an unpleasant surprise, it wouldn't be a surprise any longer. All that threatening you (ie the chain letter) are giving me is making me laugh at you. You sound like some sick despo ahahaha.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
How would I know what they expect?! So if they come expecting a slap, I'll just give them a full-body drubbing while grinning widely?

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
Stating the obvious. But this is a bloody discriminating fact because it's like saying you can't marry mutes. Which is so insensitive to them - are they not human as well?

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
I agree with the first part "don't believe all you hear". "Spend all you have" is just fking rubbish meant for people who want to become bankrupt. The last bit "sleep all you want" is finally some sense.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
-.-" That's SO cliché.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
Then give him a black one.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
It contradicts the next point or it doesn't go hand-in-hand with it at least.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
There is no such thing as love as first sight. Love only comes when you understand a person - and before you accuse me of talking cock, go open your "No Ap0logies" booklet. Anything at first sight is either lust or infatuation. So there, stupid Anthony boy.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
People who dream too much fail Chem test. I am a living example. No wait, I'm a dreaming example. And just because I might laugh at someone else's dream doesn't mean I don't dream myself.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
The only way to live life completely is to get hurt? This is suddenly starting to sound sadomasochistic (or whatever that long word is) and sadistic and just WRONG. I'm not particularly excited to receive cult newsletters in my Inbox.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
So you can punch and kick but you cannot use words? That's dumb.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
This is getting funny because of the stupid words "judge" and "relatives" but it's an inside joke. And this is relatively more sensible compared to the rest. Though it hardly makes much sense.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
You'll end up like a certain Mr CKM, who is a big shot in charge of boarding. Name is censored to protect identity. Though of course one might dispute the fact that he even thinks.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
There shouldn't be any set way to reject a question. There are always more viable alternatives like 1) lying, 2) crapping and 3) saying "f**k off".

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
Remember that great crappers must have great inboxes with great bullshit in them.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
This is sensible, but it's common sense. And whether you say it or not really makes no difference to the person unless he's some New Age Sensitive Guy like Anthony Robbins.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .
What The Hell. LOSING IS LOSING.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
What about R for Raffles? The stupid first two Rs are essentially the same since they all mean respect.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
It's not our choice. If only we can "let" it hurt our friendship. -.-"

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
That's bad spelling (the "realise" is spelt the silly American way) and perhaps now I'm finding out why these facts are so bloody stupid.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
YOU TRY SMILING AND TALKING LA!

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
That's fking stupid. Who doesn't spend time alone obviously doesn't sleep.

Now, here's the FUN part!
Is forwarding nonsense very fun? I doubt it.

Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve.
..only proving that it's your average chain letter, only with VERY LOUSY content.

1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.
If it does, it's because of me.

5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.
If it does, it's because of me.

9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks
LOL that's NEVER going to happen, Anthony Robbins you retard! You don't play the mathematics of probability with me, I have more sense than believing your shit.

15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. Do not keep this message.
Any backstabber could reach for my hand and touch my heart. And nobody in his right mind will keep this message. Please, it's so dumb that I bet it's either 1) a blonde or 2) an American or 3) both who wrote it. Your facts are fallacious or unclear, or either that I just don't like the stupid shit you have typed. Basically I dislike chain letters, and I dislike them even more when they make no sense.

So that's why I'm making it known to the world - don't send me unnecessary emails. I hate getting spammed by nonsense okay.

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Now you might be asking "what's your dai ji" when you read the somewhat powerful insults that I use against a chain letter (okay makes me sound stupid). My problem is the unnecessary space taken up by this trash.

And anyway, I'm getting tired. So all you have to know is that Anthony Robbins is a damn wanker and YL should post more often. Now I'm looking forward to sleeping in a nice aircon room with a nice warm bed (contradictory) with no mosquitoes trying to sip YJ juice aka blood.

So in the process of forward-looking, I'll leave you to ponder about the stupidity of this post. Bye.

Happy Holidays!

Here I am again, thinking carefully about what to blog about. And the reason i have so much time to ponder over this is because the holidays are here. Woohoo! But is it only me who realises that the word 'holidays' is such a contradiction? The good thing is that you don't have to go to school. But the bad thing is that the coach thinks it's a good time to increase the number of trainings and the horrifying shadow of the common tests looms. I'm running out of things to say about the holidays without it descending into yet another full-of-shit guide, so I shall tell you people a story. A horror story. A really scary horror story. That combines all your darkest fears and insecurities.

let X be you

Here goes:

This is the tragic story of X. The June holidays are here! Cheers! One month of kickass freedom. But common tests is in the last week of June. X knows deep within that X should start studying. Eventually, he decides that he needs to study during the holidays. But when does X actually start? Right after all the movies, nights out, trainings, playing computer games, feasting on snacks and surfing senseless blogs(tcs is excluded). How is it possible that someone so bent on studying not study? Witness this monologue.

good side: It's time to stop playing and study!
bad side: Aiyah, never mind, can study tomorrow.
good side: How do you know there'll be a tomorrow?
bad side: I don't know, but if the world is ending before tomorrow, I study for fuck?

The dark side always wins. So X ends up studying only on the day before the common tests. But miracles happen, and he finished studying everything on that day partly because X is a genius. But tragedies happen too, and throughout all the papers, X's mind went blank, for unknown reasons. Imagine that you've forgotten everything that you've studied. So he failed all his common tests. After failing everything,X couldn't take any h3 subject, which was what X had always wanted to do. Then, X lost confidence in himself, saying, "I've studied everything. There's nothing more that i can do" and ended up failing his promos as well. X couldn't stand the shame of being retained, so he quit the school and...to be continued by yourself because I'm too godamn lazy.

but isn't it scary?

What to do if you're stuck on an island of idiots

Well yj and yh are on leave on the sunny paradise of Bintan, which happens to be island. No they probably won't be surrounded by idiots, but you never know. But I do wonder about the CCA Leaders' Camp. If everyone there's a leader, who's going to be the worker? But then again they have to carry stuff around, so that means some people will have to downgrade or demote to being mere workers like the rest of us here. So in the end, the chao slackers are the leaders. Might as well call it the CCA Workers' Camp.

Like all good essays, first I must define what I mean by idiots. Dictionary.com states that
"A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive." Well, for me, it's a lot simpler. Anyone who I find irritating is an idiot, and it is just my personal classification table.
10 descriptions of people with no.1 being used to describe the most hated.

10. stranger
9. acquaintance
8. daoing target
7. bitch
6. idiot
5. cb
4. dickhead
3. asshole
2. bastard
1. fucker

I'm sorry this 'guide' is only useful when it's an island full of idiots and not of assholes, because I think its very disgusting if there's such a thing as an island of assholes. There'll be shit all over the place.
On the other hand, it won't be that bad if you have an island of bitches, because then you wouldn't have to worry about food. Dog meat is quite tasty, i guess. How do you get a bitch? First you catch a bee, then you get an itch, which gives you a bitch (beeitch). An island full of fuckers would be, ahem, like Temptation Island. And an island full of bastards would mean lots of irresponsible parents. So enough crapping, let's get to some more practical stuff.

1. Swim away you idiot! That's what I train waterpolo for, to allow myself to get away from dangerous situations. No doubt yj and yh have the same abilities as me, so don't be surprised if you suddenly see either of them walking along a street in Singapore tomorrow.

2. If you can't beat them, join them. Talk to yourself. Be more idiotic than them. Better still, be a stinking asshole. That way, everyone will siam and you can have the island all to yourself. One idiot is better than an island of idiots. But do be careful about talking to yourself too much. Cos maybe you'll develop split personalities and 2 personalities cannot fit into one body. There'll be a personality clash which means a conflict between yourself and your other self. Then you'll start fighting yourself, and finally kill yourself. Which might not be a bad thing, but that's besides the point.

3. In the last paragraph I said that if you can't beat them, join them. But the truth is that in most cases, you can beat them. Oh and add slash and maim to that. See that shiny chopper on the table? Take it. Wave it around. Slash someone or something And now you can go become king of the island. Show everyone who's the real leader. Let everyone kneel in front of you and your right-hand man the Chopper. That's assuming the others don't have weapons of course. This must have been a result of my watching My Wife Is A Gangster. Anyone you don't like? Slash chop poke (use the seemingly innocent chopstick to poke the eye) until all that's left is a crumpled heap of corpses. and an eyeball-on-a-stick. Domination by force.

4. Play dead. Idiots don't care about team play or anything. Idiots only care about themselves, so if you play dead, they'll sure leave you alone. Of course, it'll be more convincing with a pool of blood all around you so that nobody even dares to come close and see whether you're actually breathing. ( From the movie Saw) Everyone assumes you're dead. So in the middle of the night, you take a wig, paint yourself a ghostly white, and start calling people on their handphones, (for those who think that islands don't have reception, allow me to remind you that Singapore is an island) and make all sorts of weird noises. And then you make your grand entrance as sadako to scare everyone away and kope all the food and drinks. To make things more realistic, you might want to find a well that you can climb out of. If you accidentally fall into the well, this whole sadako thingy might just come true.

5. Pray. For a volcano to erupt or an earthquake to happen such that nobody survives it but you. Or better still, pray for floods, and start building your ark. They laugh at you now, but who'll get the last laugh when the rain comes? Haha, actually i think it's them, because they're such idiots that when the rain comes, they'll just kope your ark and throw you into the sea. I have no idea why the sinners in the Noah's Ark story never attempted to take his boat by force. Aren't sinners supposed to do evil things like that?

Ok so I'm done with this 'guide'. Follow the steps prescribed at your own peril. Oh and I hate pw.

The pre-empted post

Hi, this is YJ here reporting live from Bintan, Indonesia.

Yes I'm here because of CCAL Camp and contrary to popular belief, Indonesia does have internet access. Only it's kind of lag so you'd probably won't get to read my post until like, 2 hours after I've posted it. It's now 8pm Bintan time, which means it's 9pm Singapore time (as Indonesia somehow is stupidly one hour behind us even though geographically they are to our east) - and which also means you'd only get to read my post at 11pm.

Aww that's kind of sad, by 11pm most good little kids would have slept. And since this blog is the blog of a no life, I must imagine that our readers are good little kids.

Anyway let me tell you about Founder's Day. It was THE ULTIMATE BOMB BORING MAN! Imagine a whole swarm of people in black and white (those who couldn't loan blazers) in a hall, each one moving up the stage one by one. It's scary and boring, I tell you. Anyone from the top would think that we were a bunch of black ants and termites, but surprisingly it's only the black ants that go onto the stage to receive their prizes.

Sounds confoundingly gay? Forget it. It IS confoundingly gay. After all, it is FOUNDer's Day. So by right it should be very conFOUNDing and since "gay" rhymes with "day", it also should be gay.

Some logic.

Then after that we rushed off to the ferry terminal to go to Bintan. The weather was being gay like the Founder so I got a headache on the bus. Subsequently the headache converted to become a headache in the ferry. Then when I got to Bintan the choppy Indonesian waters had pwn3d me flat.

CCAL Camp was pretty rubbish - we spent a lot of time slacking around and wasting time. So like YL said you should really find out what the acronym means. In the case of our group we've got a lot of cocksters so CCAL stands for Crazy Cocksters At Large. Like since we escaped Singapore customs to go fool around in the sun in Bintan, I guess we are at large.

Sigh - but I'm missing home noww and I wannaaaaa cryyyyyyyyyy :'(

This might be day one out of day four. But since four days can fly by so easily (especially this week) - I'd be back real soon. Sorry for the lack of updates because I doubt I'd be getting computer access tomorrow. Meanwhile you can look forward to more rubbish from YL.

Okay before you receive the post real late, I'm going to stop now. As I mentioned earlier, Indonesian komputers are real lag. You're having live updates from YJ in Bintan, 2 hours late. Okay see ya then!

Hectic schedule

Well recently I've been busy doing crap for my girlfriend (if you need more reminders, she's called Council and is still as irritating as ever) so I've been having little sleep and too much emotional baggage thanks to this girlfriend of mine.

She keeps making me slog like mad and I get damn sad when I see no returns. High risk no return - that's not my style. I'd rather no risk and high return.

And yet I've to remain faithful to her because she's put THE CURSE OF THE COUNCIL (ya it's named after her) on me. Everyday I wear a badge pledging my faith to her, and I can't take it off for the rest of my JC life. You could say it's a lifetime investment or a one-and-a-half year contract. You could call it a commitment. I call it stupidity.

So when I dropped a one dollar coin into the drain, I tried to be smart and tried to get it out without getting my hands dirty. Going into my girlfriend's bedroom (also known as Council Room), I found some string which I could use. Then I tried attaching it to a rod, followed by a magnet. If you know my girlfriend well, you should know she stores loads of rubbish in her bedroom. And many board games as well so if you get too bored one day, you could try loaning stuff from her yea.

Nevertheless, my point is that I got a rod, a line, and a magnet. Then I tried fishing, council-style. Like just sitting outside the council room like a fool sticking the line into the drain. After a while I realised that the magnet would not attract the coin. Coins aren't made out of copper nowadays.. I think. Being a n00b in metals, let us not discuss the material of which coins are made. It just didn't stick to the magnet.

So I decided to get a hook. Then started coin-fishing again round two.

Being a n00b I didn't realise that perhaps the coin had a circumference of pi multiplied by 2r and area was pi multiplied by r². Erm so basically it's geometrical state didn't quite fit the hook. Feeling rather stupid, I got fed-up and so I swung the damn rod around. I was running out of ideas and didn't know how to get the coin out.

This happened:


Today, I wasted my bloody time outside the Council Room and I lost one dollar. So much for hectic schedules, this is what happens when your brain doesn't work correctly. I mean some might argue that I was never mentally stable to begin with, but I can assure you that when I get little sleep and many other problems, I really do stupid things.

On purpose. (so I can blog about it).

..means when I'm feeling normal I just usually fabricate my posts. =)

Enough crapping. Tomorrow will be busy so see ya.

Random Explorations

I warn you... it's random.

If a couple break up, it's only polite to comfort them by saying "it wasn't meant to be". I mean, how can you say that they were "meant to be" and then they break up? It's like blaming them for not making it work and that just doesn't make sense.

Ever heard of the line,"The more I stare at you, the more beautiful you get"? I guess it's supposed to be a cheem way of saying that you are beautiful. But the more literal meaning is that my staring makes you more beautiful. So thats saying that I should stare more and please don't blame me for that.

Another random thing is that my computer internet connection sucks. I never know when it'll suddenly go off. And when it does, first i can't surf the net. then i'll be bitching about it on msn because for some reason i can stay connected to msn until the next time i sign out. And then its total disconnection. I feel ANGRY. Then i realise it's for the greater good because then i'll have no distraction and i can study. Then i'll go into my room and take out my work.And only after that will I realise that sooner or later i'll have to fix the connection because i'll have to do project work and blog with it. So out I go again in an attempt to fix it. I spend one whole f***ing afternoon fiddling with all the wires and connections, and in the process pissing myself off so much i get all wet and somehow when i tamper with the main power switch, it works! miracle, and i have absolutely no idea why becausethe power indicator on the modem was lit to begin with, meaning it shouldn't have been a problem with the power supply. But who cares, because it works!

And then the cycle repeats itself after one night. Wtf! In the end i don't do any work and i don't enjoy myself either and this sucks big time. In fact, it's happened so many times i cant really consider it random anymore.i hate faulty technology.

Clarification

Haha for all those who thought that I was really angry on Monday..

..no I'm not going to ask you to "get lost you fool"..

I wasn't. (Gotcha?)

As this is TCS, you should always prepare yourself for loads of fabrication and tons of lies to be told. Of course here at TCS we don't call it lies.. we call it "cock". Stuff that is just purely made up of the air, the air, and nothing but the air. Your Chemistry (or for that matter General Science) textbooks won't tell you this, but sometimes matter can be created out of nowhere. Like matters of the heart. Which means matters of the heart getting worked up and pumping madly because I'm angry.

Basically we fabricate. And we create matter.

Whether you believe it or not, it doesn't matter. Because we just do.

Right now get lost you fool.

TV Mobile!

This post will be about the shitty "TV Mobile" on some buses. Public transportation really is an endless source of inspiration for aspiring and respiring and perspiring bloggers. And this is how a good story begins.
So one fine day, i hopped onto this double decker bus and went onto the upper deck cos I knew this was gonna be a really long ride.

There was nobody on the upper deck. Perfect. So I slumped onto a seat and prepared for a wonderful nap. But sadly that wasn't to be, because there were 2 chao angmohs on the TV Mobile screen who just kept talking and talking about nothing important and wouldn't shut the hell up. I especially hate these shows where they do nothing but talk the whole day about some person's dress, and the whole day they go "Oh my God you're so beautiful!" Damn bloody fake. If everyone's beautiful, beauty ceases to be a value. Of course, here I'm being a superficial idiot and saying beauty is a value, but that's like a fact. Everyone values beauty. Would you go wear an ugly mask for every day of your life?

And another thing about TV Mobile is that it's 10% TV shows and 90% advertising. One minute you were watching the show, and before you know it, you've absorbed 9 minutes worth of numbing advertisements. It's total brainwashing.

TV Mobile is so irritating I ask the bus driver to switch the it off, but nooo, they can't do that! Company policy dictates that they can't switch the damn thing off. I wonder who were the idiots who supported having mobile TVs in buses. They either don't take the public transport or they are retards. So i had to spend the entire journey sulking, being forced to watch the stupid tv.

Actually TV Mobile is a misnomer because the TV is not mobile. And how do I know? By trying duh. No matter how hard I tried to pull, the TV just wouldn't move. At first, I thought it could. Which is why I brought the butterfly net and the stun gun and the tranquiliser darts. What a waste of equipment. I thought a TV in my room wouldn't hurt.

TV in the bus simply cannot count as televsion. In fact, i think it stands for something else. I don't know what t stands for, but I sure as hell know what V stands for. V for vendetta! Could it ever be anything else? Anyway, I read the comic book and it's very cool. Gives you something to crank your brain over. Like "Happiness is the most inisidious prison of all", I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. But the movie was good, especially the script, and i wonder why movies like this don't get to win Oscars.

But back to the bus. i hate the TV. Vendetta! Somebody do me a favour and burn all the TVs please.

More anger, perhaps?

I JUST LEARNT THAT MY GIRLFRIEND WANTS TO MEET ME AT 8AM TOMORROW.

NOW I'M FURIOUS AND BURNING WITH RAGE. SOMEONE HAD BETTER HOPE I DON'T COME TO SCHOOL IN A PILE OF CHARCOAL TOMORROW DAMN IT. I'M SERIOUSLY ANGRY NOW!

An angsty post

Damn it.. some of you take my TCS for a laughing-stock, come here to be happy and cheer yourself up for the day is it? Damn it.. have you never thought of my feelings? Have you never thought that I, as a normal student of RJC, also have my fair share of grievances and sorrows?

Okay. Judging by that look on your face I guess you don't. Damn it! So for all that shit, I'm going to give you an angsty post tonight. After all, you'd probably think I'm some happy-go-lucky can't care for anything idiot. This is to show you that I'm human - and pretty much an angry human. Don't blame me for the rage I'm going to unleash. It's my duty as an angsty blogger that has yet to post an angsty post on his blog.

Now for my day that made me so bloody angry. Don't ask me why, I just woke up angry. It's like one of those days where you just wake up angry. So like today, I woke up and I was angry. Don't get me? Get lost you fool. I just went to have my morning shower and damn it, there was no hot water. I mean I wasn't out to scald myself but I was freezing cold when I left the shower. Damn, now that really made me angry.

I got really angry at breakfast because I thought I was going to be late for school. Actually it wasn't that I was going to be late - but my stupid demanding girlfriend (called Council) had demanded that I meet her at 7:20am in the morning. Well the anger that I first felt now carried over, because I was going to be late for my meeting. Getting really angry at that thought, I just grabbed my stuff and ran out of the house. So much for my anger. While I walked to school, the birds chirped happily above in the trees.

Just what the hell was wrong with them? Could they just shut the **** up? Bloody noisy flying creatures just had to make so much noise when I'm angry. It just made me all the more pissed off. I got to school and realised that I didn't wear my Councillor badge. Then some people started laughing at me and I got really angry. What's wrong with not wearing the RJ badge? Damn it am I not part of the school? My anger soon multiplied (like tenfold) as I went up to assembly and I found out that the stupid 25ths had already stepped down. Which means I don't get to hear their high-pitched voices which might sooth my angry senses.

Instead I hear Jason Lau's husky voice. Which I don't find anything wrong with it usually but on such an angry day, I just got angrier because I've been hearing boys' voices for 4 years. It's not that I was trying to fight for woman's rights as well but I. WAS. JUST. ANGRY. Like what the hell, the microphone wasn't working again and the voice was coming out all muffled. I angrily stormed off to Chemistry tutorial.

I'm usually in a good mood for Chemistry tutorial because much as I suck at the subject, I loved it. This morning no - I was angry. And the teacher was asking for tutorials which I didn't do. So I got pretty angry and soon my temper was at saturation point, kind of like your stupid alkanes on your stupid Chemistry tutorials. Yet again if you don't get what I'm saying get lost you fool. Go learn some Chemistry and go learn how saturated my temper was.

Then as you know alkanes have really low boiling points as compared to like alkenes or arenes. So I almost raged out loud. But I hit boiling point when my teacher asked me to go up to the board. Damn it HOW WOULD I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!! I shouted at him, "I don't know how the **** to do it la!" and he got angry. Which in turn got me angry because it was him who started all that shit. If he hadn't asked me to go to the board to do silly Chemistry questions, wouldn't everything be fine? Now he made me angry. And I was angry.

Another person was sent out of the class for not doing tutorials as well. And I was sent out for being angry, which gave me more cause to be angry. And great - that made us a lone pair outside the classroom while the other students stayed inside the class for Chemistry tutorial. I felt miserable, but more angry. What was worse was that like two electrons (in lone pair) we didn't like each other. So I just stood at one side to let my anger boil and boil while the other fagut just laughed away at me.

There was a free period so I thought my mood would get better. I went to library to watch Hard Gay but that only served to make me more angry when I learnt that there was no bloody sound. Stupid librarian bitches, could they not just BLAST SOME SOUND? It would alleviate my anger. But NO watching Hard Gay without the sound is like having prawn noodles without the prawn NOR the noodles. Like what's the damn point if you give me something without the main thing in that thing? You might as well not give me anything!

I felt like getting angry at the librarian, but I decided sleep would be a better option. All the prime sleeping spots were taken up though. More reason to be angry. In the end I went to sleep on one of the tables in anger, and if you know anger you know that it carries on into your sleep. I couldn't even sleep peacefully, I had some angsty and angry nightmare. It just raged on and on. By the time I woke up for Maths lecture my face was all red and I was well-prepared to chop up anyone who dared get into my way.

Maths lecture was stupid as usual and the lecturer only made me angrier with his silly quotes. First was Alexander the Great saying "Fortune favours the bold" - which I got angry because I wasn't bold, I was more like italic and shadowed. Then he came up with his own quote (I'm not joking about this one), Mr Kok - "Lectures favour the hardworking." Just what the fag is wrong with him? He's such a bloody elitist that I got really angry. I slept again in Maths lecture but the angry dreams kept recurring so well, I really got flustered by the end of the lecture where I learnt nothing at all. And certainly not anger management.

I got angry at break because the queues were bloody long. As in they weren't exactly bloody but my eyes saw red and my head was literally boiling with rage so I saw blood everywhere. Yes I was that angry. Then I learnt that I had to go for match support so I got angrier because I had to pon my favourite Econs lecture. In the end I went for match with lots of anger and on the bus I was constantly ranting loudly and angrily about how angry I was. In the end I spurted many words of anger and it hurt a lot of people. Then some of them got angry but what is wrong with them, I AM THE ONE WHO IS ANGRY.

Gah. Not going to talk about long angry bus rides anymore.

I got into Jurong East Sports Hall for support and that only made me all the angrier because the f***ing management refused to turn on the aircon even though we were there to cheer our team on. Now that really made me angry (as in more angry than any other thing today) because that made me perspire a lot. Which in turn made me damn flustered and pissed off! So being soaked in sweat I got even angrier. Then I started cheering like mad and lost my voice because being angry, I cheered angrily and loudly.

When I lost my voice, I reached breaking point. I went to get drumsticks (ie cheering tools) and started hammering on the ground hard. Then when it didn't break it occurred to me that I was quite weak and so I got really angry. I threw the drumsticks hard on the ground before stalking away. Then I discovered I made a crack on the ground - which got me quite angry because it makes me start to wonder what on earth (NO PUN INTENDED WHEN I'M ANGRY) those silly architects are doing. Bloody weak cement.

Having a French exam, I angrily walked out when we were leading 2-1 for Boys and when the Girls Team won 3-0. It got me angry when 1) there was no transport back to school and 2) I had to take bus all the way back for some stupid French exam? Damn it, when I walked out I saw the bus driving away. I got really angry because I thought the bastard driver was trying to dao me - which he probably was so I have reason to be angry!

I chased the bus with my angry heels pounding on the warm ground. Smoke billowed from my nose and my feet was combusting at an alarming rate. Some people took water hoses and fire extinguishers to douse my anger but DID I CARE? I was out to catch that bus. With my anger that spurred me on, I eventually caught up with the bus at the next bus stop. Then I generously showered some choice expletives on the bus driver which made him angry but DAMN IT, I have more reason to be angry!

I got up really flustered. I was really shagged by then so I angrily went off to sleep. Then as you know the anger got carried over into dreamland again so when I woke up I got really really furious at what the hell the world was turning out for me. And when I glared out of the window I found out the retarded bus driver had already driven on from RJC. What the heck! Damn it I missed my stop! That stupid fagut obviously had something against me, so I went down to give him Choice Expletives Part Two. Then alighted at the next stop with much anger.

I walked back to RJC with anger to meet up with YL. I was really angry by then - so I went to the toilet to cool myself off. However it didn't help when I went to pee and smoke was coming out from my boiling pee. Damn it, how irritating was that. Still boiling and raging, I went to wash my hands which instantly gave off smoke as well - kind of like when you put some hot metal into cool water suddenly. Those silly tripod stands and stuff. Crap, was I angry!

Got my bag, met YL and stormed off angrily to MOELC. It didn't help that my stomach was rumbling but we were late for the French exam. Our teacher had so very unkindly started off without us which made me really angry, like what the hell is wrong with him, couldn't he wait a bit? I sat down at my table with much rage and almost broke the chair. I could hear the cracking sound but I still held on. Then with much conviction that I should overcome my rage, I grabbed my pen and almost snapped it into two. I read the questions for the compositions.

My teacher went, "Yejie, tu es en colère?" (Are you angry?)

Me: "Va te faire foutre!" (no translation since I'm feeling bloody angry)

I wrote so hard that my pages tore and I got really pissed off. My teacher told me to go out and cool down but it turned out that it was raining so I got soaked. And even more angry. He made me waste all that time outside while the rest of the class finished their compositions. I got a zero for that segment which got me kind of angry. It's kind of angry because at this point I was just simply fuming. Like the tips of my fingers were experiencing sublimation and going off into gaseous state.

Put simply, I was ragingly fumingly goddamningly crazily boilingly flamingly furiously madly angry.

The listening comprehension was the final straw. Being unable to hear any shit that came out from the radio (much less any French), I just banged the table and BOOM it caught fire. The rest quickly used water from their bottles to put out the fire so okay I almost burnt down the container at MOELC. My teacher said he was going to report this to the authorities. Which means I might get hauled up for arson, what the flaming hell. Of course I was angry but I just slammed the door on my way out. I was going home.

While I was walking home on damp ground, I began to review the day. Like what the hell was wrong with the world, getting me angry so easily?

I came to one conclusion: That the world is some screwed up place, only know how to make nice guys like me angry.

Which got me angry again. ARGH. So I went home and had an angry dinner, took an angry bath, and here I am blogging with much anger and angst. These two words are pretty much the same to me. After all both words start with "ang" - dialect for "red" - and universal colour of anger. Don't believe go MSN and see what colour the emoticon for anger is. Okay so I got really pissed today. Angry, ANGRY!!! I'm just going mad.

Why all the anger and hate?

Don't ask me why. Just get lost and sleep you fool. Anger translates to sleep, but you'd probably wouldn't be angry. Just take it from me that anger is not good for your health. Now go screw off and learn some anger management.

Differences Part Two!

Well after Part One I said there would be a continuation.. and here it is, albeit a little late. You can't exactly blame me though, I spent Thursday spraining another side of my ankle and rehearsing late into the night.. Friday was spent racing with the 157 to Toa Payoh Sports Hall (to prove that public transport is not necessarily the fastest way) and Saturday was the birthday of YL so I just had to do a special on him.

Now that it's Sunday and when I start getting bored, I decided to continue exploring the differences in RI and RJ. Something which I miss in RI. The second thing is:

2. CHANGING IN CLASS/CORRIDORS
You didn't read it wrongly - changing in class made up a huge part of my RI life - like take every PE lesson and 5 minutes of changing in class. For four years. That makes up a huge chunk of school life. And it saves up a lot of time unlike in RJC when you have to walk all the way to the toilet just to change up for PE. How stupid is that now. Of course although it is stupid, it is being done for impractical reasons. So don't get me wrong, I'll still change in the toilets now. Only that I find RI life so much easier and more convenient.

The advantages of changing in class is not only limited to saving of time and convenience, there is also the facilitation of stripping. Coming from a class of excellent strippers (ie people who strip others on their birthdays or simply for the heck of it), I understand this point very well. PE lessons are used as an avenue to get your clothes off - and when YOU get your clothes off and are about to get another set of clothes on, a bunch of idiots might decide to make it stay off. I'd like to clarify at this point of time that I am not a stripper. I am merely an innocent bystander who's enjoying all the fun going on.

And now where's the fun? You can't strip anyone in the toilet because it's too dirty. What's more, it's not very nice to stay long in a place where there's a stench. Oh and plus there's no excitement of female teachers butting into the males' toilet suddenly. Unlike RI where teachers still had the right to come into class to watch boys change. I'm not suggesting that they did it on purpose, but it's happened before.

This is going out to those boys still in RI. You'd better chair-lock your doors and tape the glass windows. Ahem.

As for changing in corridors, that might not seem like a social norm though people do carry it out at times in desperate measures. Like if PE is before recess, and you get some fierce teacher after recess who simply won't tolerate you coming into class in PE.. a speedy change of clothes is required. Now I know some of you might be very amused and skeptical about this, but it is indeed a way of life in RI.

I'm not saying that I do it, but I'm not saying that I don't either. But as many people have said, "it's okay to offend as long as you don't get caught", it's okay to change in the corridor so long you don't get caught. Anyway it isn't an offence, check RI's rules and regulations and you'll find that I'm speaking the truth.

Basically in RI you can change anywhere that is remotely remote and where female teachers can't see you. The Air Rifle Range just beneath the canteen is excellent for those whom need a change of clothes after CCA. It's an offence to go out of school in PE, which in my opinion is bloody stupid of the RIPB, but then again when you have had enough demerit points to last you a lifetime you try to avoid getting booked again. So yes. Even with RIPB's stupidity - just conform to it sometimes.

In any case, it's now almost dinnertime and I'm famished. In fact, I think I'm late for dinner so you'd just wait for the third reason of what do I miss in RI to come out. This might be kind of boring so I might break the monotony once or twice with an irrelevant random topic - but because of my utmost respect for my alma mater, I must make these little emo posts once in a while.

By the way I read that Xiaxue the ***** has like 20k hits a day. And she's earning loads of money for it. Well so maybe in 2 days she'll get the number of hits that TCS gets in like, 8.5 months? Damn I feel so discouraged, perhaps YL the chiobu should put up his own chio picture so more old cheekopeks will get attracted to come visit our blog. In fact, I think I could find a picture to upload if not for YL's violent protestations.

Therefore, I'm really sorry to announce to all our readers that no, you won't be seeing YL's oh-so-chio picture. And for those who still read Xiaxue, stop reading her trash. Read mine. Because unlike her, I'm not out there for the money, I'm out there to write trash. Okay I'm talking rubbish.

Now I have to go and eat.

Comments from birthday boy

u_klun...my heart: once broken, considered sold says:
wah fuck
u_klun...my heart: once broken, considered sold says:
your post about me damn funny
u_klun...my heart: once broken, considered sold says:
oh wait
u_klun...my heart: once broken, considered sold says:
im supposed to say cheebye

Well here you go then. From the birthday boy. =)

Happy birthday YL!

Okay.. so after having celebrated my birthday last year and YH's birthday early this year.. the time has come to celebrate YUK LUN's birthday!!

Actually, if I didn't post today, the little thick-skinned boy will also post about himself anyway hahaha. After all, he's quite famous for his shameless MSN nicks on his birthdays - I still distinctly remember two years ago it was something like the genius celebrating his birthday or what.. (maybe I remembered wrongly), but more recently a year ago, it was like "16 years ago on this day.. a very important event happened on this earth." Or something to that effect. You get the drift.

So anyway for all our faithful readers out there, you get a complete write-up on YL today. Because I am going to list a few facts about him that you probably didn't know about. Of course, I am arguably not the best person to do a description on him, because I'm not THE expert on YL. There are many other people close to him than I am. But still, being an author of TCS who is willing to divulge information on YL, you'll just have to make do with the information I give you and take it all in.

Because no one else is going to do it. =)

So YAY random facts about YL!

1) He plays Gunbound like me.
Ya you got it right, he's quite no life as well. Only now that his computer is down and he's got no Gunbound to play, he has no choice but to err.. not play. We used to be a formidable (and guai lan) team once.. playing Tag games with Bigfoot and Sate (ya okay that's a trade secret but never mind, we're nice). Err and his level is a double metal axe.. some n00b, it's even lower than mine. Okay I play much more than him and my win rate is probably lower, but like I said he doesn't play now so this information is irrelevant. He's from the guild pizzahut and I bet you didn't know that. After all, would YOU play Gunbound?

2) He's a left-hander. And his left hand is weak.
In case you didn't know, Yuk is some mad left-hander because his right hand is stronger than his left despite using his left hand for everything. Don't believe me? Try arm-wrestling him. Of course, there's this possibility that you might experience total ownage against him if you are too weak or too strong, but the neutrals suggest that his right hand is stronger. Saying which, I think he blogs with his left hand only. After all, blogging is about writing and you do writing with only one hand right? (no pun intended) Err so he blogs with only his left hand, and it being weak, gets tired out easily. Maybe that's why his posts aren't as long as mine.

3) His greatest achievement is planning a class outing.
With YL and I both screwing up our LES interviews, I feel qualified to laugh at him because he's probably laughing at me for my answers. Like when I said "I have a lot of passion for waterpolo" in one part then the next moment I said "I was sick of it" - when actually I wasn't really.. it's just that I preferred another sport. Well if you thought that was screwed up you should have heard what YL said. In response to the "What do you think is your greatest accomplishment" question, he gave a very very very funny answer. As in, nothing wrong with it, just that I wouldn't say it to my interviewers. Umm, you can go read the title if you want to know what his answer was.

4) He's a chiobu.
Contrary to popular belief that crushes are often one-way from the male species to the females, YL goes against this trend. With evidence that he is a male from his BC, he still gets tons of crushes from the opposite sex, therefore earning his nickname "chiobu". After all, as chiobus are always in demand and YL is in demand, it's only logical that he is being called a chiobu. That is if you'll ignore Mr. Kenneth Low's Logical Fallacies in Philosophy for a while. Well if I'm not wrong someone gave him a lovely purple sash as his birthday present.. with the word "CHIOBU" emblazoned right across it. Let's hope YL stays hot and chio and in demand.

5) He started Talk Cock Summit.
Now I guess I might have mentioned it many times before somehow, but now let me tell you officially - that this blog was his brainchild. Okay he has no child and whether he has a brain or not is debatable.. but you definitely must give credit to him starting TCS. It began from our Friday night talk-cock sessions, since Friday signalled the end of busy weeks in the past (now Saturdays are much more irritating) and we would like a nice long chat after a not-so-nice long training. Our topics ranged from girlfriends (which we have none duh) to class politics (like how he would bitch about Andre and how to properly handle a class), so it was rather memorable. Now we post our shit on this blog because he suggested the idea and with my being a blogger since Sec 2, the blog was born. And it's all thanks to him.

6) He uses "CB" more than I use "f***".
Overall I don't know who is more vulgar - but I must say that I hear Hokkien vulgarities out of YL more than I hear myself blurting the universal f-word. Eh but it's always interesting to note how sometimes he complements using "CB" with a prefix. Okay I think this isn't a very nice thing to notice but try talking to him one day on a topic he isn't very passionate about. Anyway these are random facts so yep, here you go.

7) He acts stupid but is actually damn smart.
Ya he'll keep complaining about how he doesn't know about chiral centres (now), meso compounds (now), latent heat (last time), equilibrium (last time), Chinese phrases (last time) and about how he didn't mug for this and that, but FINALLY when the results come out he actually just pwns your arse flat. Okay maybe not everyone, but he certainly does it for mine. Though arguably I have my days too, his probably far exceeds mine. His GPA is indicative of that of a genius, because he mugs VERY VERY little. Next time if you want him to slack with you for a test, make sure you secretly mug so you can beat him. Even though there is no guarantee that you'll win, it gives you great satisfaction to beat a genius.

8) He scores important goals for the waterpolo team.
There was that shot from the corner against the then-Chinese High (now Higher Chinese Idiots) to pull us level at 5-5 (though we lost out on goal difference, dang) and in our B division matches he did get a few crucial ones as well. YL was one of the most irritating sharpshooters in the waterpolo team, and I had a bloody hard time trying to save his shots during training. Of course, I can't very well comment about his skills now, but when I go down sometimes for shooting practice with him he shows his occasional brilliance by scoring that top-corner shot. I think other schools had better be warned about this. It's dangerous.

I was about to give 17 facts but there really isn't much time. So you might have to settle for half (like Eddie from A View From The Bridge, much-loved Lit book in Sec 4) and just take 8.5 facts.

Here is the half fact. (ie it's half fiction)

HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND ONCE.

Now it's entirely up to you how to choose to interpret this. After all 50% of something can be any 50%. Like if I give you 100 stickers, you can pick which 50 stickers you want and the other 50 to discard. Even though you might settle for half, and half and half is equal, you must understand from Animal Farm that "some animals are more equal than others".

Then as horses (or whatever animal) have calves and "calf" rhymes with "half, you can assume that animals are halves and thus some halves are more equal than others. Back to the point..

You can dissect this fact into two in different ways. I'll give you a few options of how you might choose to interpret it, but they do not necessarily represent my views. They are merely analyses. Remember, it is ONLY half a fact okay!

a) He didn't have a girlfriend, because having a girlfriend means two-way love. This meant that he liked the girl but no the girl didn't like him aww.

b) He didn't have a girlfriend, refer to above for reason. But this time it meant the girl liked him but he didn't like the poor, (probably) ugly sod. Oh well aww again.

c) From TCS's definition of girlfriend, the couple must at least admit that they are a couple for a day before it gets officially recognised. So YL and this girl were together for half a day. Then they started denying so it was really no count. Or maybe half a count at best.

Either way, settle for half or not - we have come to the end of the YL birthday special on TCS. Hope you enjoyed it and if you didn't, try settling for half. Read the top part and be happy with it. Okay I have four words of wisdom before I end off my post.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUK LUN!

(PS Any words said by geniuses = words of wisdom hahahaha. Damn I'm thick-skinned turning into YL soon lol)

Physics joke

I'm tired. So I'm going to post something stupid.

Q: Why did one compression wave to the other compression?

A: Because they were on the same frequency!

(See Mr Desmond Tan, I don't forget what I learn. I love Physics!!)

Mad People

If you take public transport, and especially alone, as i did today, for some period of time, you would doubtless have noticed at least one or two mad people. And the chances of it increases if you take 16 mrt stops or more, as I do.

Let's start this post with some fact. The fact is that while stoning on the mrt, i saw this guy who was sitting down. And he just couldn't keep still. Every now and then, he would jump up in some fit and then rub his head vigorously, as though he wanted to give his brain a massage but neglecting the fact that his scalp and skull and hair were in the way. He did this non-stop. I can only guess that he studied too hard and went mad. So don't take the risks and just slack. Anyway, it came as a surprise that there were people sitting on either side of him. No they didn't move away just because the guy was mad. They showed no form of discrimination whatsoever for that person. Man, i applaud their courage. or maybe their butts were too heavy and they just had to sit. But being mad apparently doesn't mean being poor, because the guy still had money to take the mrt. In the stressful society of today, can you really blame him for being mad?

Well at least he stayed at his own seat. That is like way better than my idea of a mad person. Allow me to describe him.

about 40 years of age, bald at the front but has a ponytail at the back. Wears a tight pink shirt which shows his moobs. Wears tightass pants which show off his ugly backside. Wears knee high boots. Left hand holds a sweet, right hand holds a chopper. One eye bigger than the other. Shaved off one eyebrow. He uses the chopper to shave.

And it ends up looking like psychotic gay. Forget it. I'll get back to you if i see another mad guy on the train.

The difference between RI and RJC

Everytime I walk back home by the RI way, I feel like crying. It's not because I'm not man enough okay.. because it's proven that even real men do cry. You could try watching the World Cup this June and you'll find that it's true. Or better yet just stay up till 2am today and watch Arsenal vs Barcelona I can bet the farm that CONFIRM will have people crying.

Of course, whoever is it that is crying is pretty much debatable, but the players on the field are men. Twenty-two men, at least one will cry. So real men do cry. So I have a right to cry. Even though I'm legally still not man yet.. as I am under 18 I am officially classified as boy. Boy can cry. Back to my point today, I almost cried.

I remember my four years at RI very well, and I can't say that all four has been good. In fact, I could tell you countless stories about arsehole teachers and the suck-the-arsehole-teachers'-arseholes prefects. By this I'm not saying all the teachers are arseholes and are the prefects are STATA (refer to above). Only some of them - that certain few that tried to make my life miserable.

They sure tried hard, I tell you. Baskit I got caught for playing ball in class like countless (around twenty) times in my four-year reign, among those I had like eight times in the last year where I finally became responsible enough to become monitor.

And ah those monitor days.. where YL and I would compete to see who would be the most arsehole monitor. But in the end I found that the most arsehole monitor actually was the one in our classroom, ie the one at the computer table. Baskit no one actually bothers to clean it up so it got pretty dirty in the end - like an arsehole. Luckily we had this projector screen so there was no need to crowd around the computer terminal to see which classmates were playing Utopia.

Shit, I'm really digressing a lot. From all the things I wrote (typed) above, I'm guessing you must be thinking "this guy is mad". If you didn't know it already, I am mad. And I am too free. So I am going to do an analysis on WHAT THE **** IS LACKING IN RJC that was ever so fun in RI. It's going to be a long and mind-boggling post. And it might not make sense to you if you don't come from RI, so I'll try to give definitions and explanations whenever I can.

NUMBER 1 - WHERE IS THE VIOLENT BASKETBALL?
I don't know if this is still going on in RI - but back in those days (ie half a year ago) it was common knowledge that my favourite sport in RI was Violent Basketball (with waterpolo a close second but ya). To play VB wasn't hard - all you needed was a classroom with tables and chairs, a tennis ball (see names can deceive) and most importantly, VIOLENCE. Duh you must 顾名思义 at times, even though names might deceive.

So what was this game? It's basically a few people chasing a tennis ball. We had to try to shoot the ball into the projector screen and that was basically a goal. We had areas demarcated by tables, which would earn us 1, 2 and 3 points respectively. It depended on the distance from the basket.. I mean the screen. Or, at least, that was the official VB rules. Some people liked to modify it by changing the points system from 2 to 4, and some might like to give 10 points for a dunk. I say whatever go ahead spoil your own VB game, but my VB game was the ultimate.

And back in RI when we had Inventing Games, it was a pity that the games had to be played in the outdoors. Otherwise we'd show our PE teacher what a real game of sport is called. Plus you can play it anytime in your school uni as well. Because the school is your second home and your classroom is your hotel room. Therefore don't feel hesitant to play VB, you have earned the right to!

But now in RJC.. WHERE IS THE LOVE? Love for the game of VB? Most of them have already converted it to love to *ahem ahem*. And it's quite sad we don't have a playing ground to play our matches on. Last time in RI we had home and away grounds.. but now when all stadiums are neutral and subject to raids by idiotic tutors, you obviously do not play VB. Plus there are clocks just above the screen which might cause severe damage.

Though of course one might argue that hitting the clock IS the idea, I've mentioned earlier that playing in open spaces was dangerous. Somehow the tutors of RJC, like CERTAIN teachers in RI, aren't very sporty and hate games to the core. It's kind of sad, really, but no I do not play VB at all now. Admittedly some clocks were broken back in RI, but we got them fixed in the end so it's okay. And so you might ask why don't I just play, break and fix the clocks now?

Because I want my captaincy and I don't like white slips. Simple as that. As someone very kindly pointed out at assembly (during announcements) today, four white slips would damage my chances of getting a scholarship - and so to protect that teeny weeny little chance of mine.. I will not take any chances.

So that's the Number One thing that I miss from RI.

Number Two will come tomorrow if I don't come back too late from Council rehearsal. You know what my girlfriend is like, and you know what my girlfriend likes. So anyway. That's it. I hope those in RI will take inspiration from this glorious game and use it for their IG in PE. That will certainly earn them grade A.

Either that, or the RJ students take it for their PW GPP. I understand the Group Project Proposal is a hot topic now, what with all the deadlines. So take up "Tradition" and use "Violent Basketball" as your topic. Though on the surface it seems like a perfect game, there are always (class)room(s) for improvement - like perhaps the state of the playing ground, the scoring system, etc. We haven't exactly created fouls or rules of the game - except "anything goes" - so definitely we'd like to see some changes to the rules. Perhaps like "swiping ten chairs away gets one point" or anything la.

You get my drift, man. VB is good. And from YL's post about acronyms I'd better make it clear that all the "VB"s I use here mean Violent Basketball. Yep.

And GPP can mean Gay Perverts Party. Specially for the PW fags.

Okay I'm crapping, more to come.

Innocence

Yes here I am talking about innocence, a virtue which I have in abundance. However, according to a certain someone, nobody in this world has this virtue of innocence, because even babies tend to stare longer at more chiou people, and because nothing shows that the pope doesn't wank. Now don't imagine too much because I can imagine that your imagination will be disgusting.

What this means is that everyone is incent, because nobody is inNOcent. Take note people, here's a new word that you can use in your GP essay. Example: That guy is damn incent la, everyday go download porn.

Even cartoons are incent. Look at Popeye. He actually wanks with an olive.yeah. First he gets a high by eating the doped spinach, and then he does it with the olive.

But fear not, for we at TCS, are innocent people. I, for one, exude innocence. And we shall spread innocence to the world, making the world a better place. And here's the guide to innocence to which everyone should follow.

1. Don't watch porn
2. Don't wank
3. Don't do whatever you shouldn't be doing
4. Introduce tcs to everyone to know
5. Admit that tcs is the last bastion of innocence

But, contrary to popular belief, innocence can be bought. Just give me 5 dollars and I'll confer on you the sacred virtue of innocence. Another smart way to remain innocent would be to name yourself innocent, as some smart popes have done. Unfortunately, they're all dead. You, therefore, are incent. You have to do something about it.

Buy your innocence today!

Learn from football

Continuing on the theme of football, it can be said there are values to be learnt from football. And from no other than the man in the hottest seat in football, Sven Goran Eriksson.










Now Mr. Eriksson is a very wise man. You know this by counting the incredible number of wrinkles on his forehead. They seem to be extending all the way up his bald head. As though his whole scalp has been loosely fitted on. In fact, he's so smart he looks almost alien. And what does this great man has to say?

He says," David Beckham is the best midfielder in the world"

Assuming he's right and David Beckham is indeed the best midfielder in the world, let us now examine Beckham.





Here he is being a considerate person and hiding his ugly face from the rest of us. Anyway he has missed more penalties in football than me. loser. But we still have to hear what he has to say, since the England manager thinks he's the best midfielder in the world.

David Beckham says," Sven Goran Eriksson is the best manager in the world"
So there you have it. They think the world of each other. There they go kissing each other's ass *insert kissing sound here* for self-promotion.

The potential application of this is obviously with your teacher. You might start by saying a certain teacher is the best teacher in the world. Hopefully, that teacher takes the hint and says that you are the best student in the world, ensuring your success in the torturous academic arena.

A classic example of symbiosis in nature.

Mother's Day

I've received half-complaints that my posts are long and difficult to read.

I'll try to make this short: What should you get for Mother's Day.

Although you should really be attending to your mother instead of reading this crap now, I will give you advice if you want it. Unless you regard me as your mother. UGH.. no. That's not possible unless 1) your mother is male, 2) your mother is full of shit or 3) your mother gets some crappy blog and talks cock in it all day long.

Then maybe I can qualify to be your mother. But still, no thanks.

Going back to the question of what to buy for Mother's Day..

FIND OUT WHAT YOUR MOTHERS LIKE LA! HOW WOULD I KNOW?!

Now don't be lazy. Get your arse off your chair and go buy your mother your present now. Just don't buy flowers from Raffles Florist because if you've been reading some very old archives of mine in the Nov-Dec holidays, you'll find out that they only know how to 敲诈 poor little students like us.

There you go. Short post finished.

And it's all screwed up.

When Danny Murphy left Liverpool for London, I guess it said more than one thing.

Yes Murphy went to Charlton, but both Charlton and West Ham are London clubs.

So there you have it. Murphy's Law. The bloody faguts up there are making a lot of noise, but well I guess they deserve it. They were smart enough to support the LUCKIER team. tmd next time I set up a soccer team I make sure I wear red already. Lucky bastards. Till next season you !@#*^$@(@$$%^(&!%s.

Anyway read "FA Cup" quickly, pronouncing "FA" the way you would do to do the fourth musical note. Then you'll get an idea of what tonight's final is like.. - f**kup.

FA Cup final

Tonight's the FA Cup final. Or should I say I'm watching the FA CUP final now so will you please excuse any spelling mistakes I might make because my eyes are glued to the television while I type out this crap. So umm excuse any errors now because I'm too lazy to change it ya.

It's the start of the seocnd half and West Ham are leading 2-1. Just now right after the restart we just saw two bloody idiots missing their one-on-ones in front of the goal (which is almost causing me to have heart failure like that loser Houllier), and now it's the 39th minute with nothing much going on.. Liverpool have the ball and umm they are passing it around. Nevertheless I decided to try predictuing what the players might be thinking by visiting the BBC Photo Gallery.

But apparently those faguts were also so addicted to the match that I only managed to get two photos. Well it's kind of dumb but here they are.

Okay f**k just when I was about to post it up Gerrard bloody equalised for Liverpool. Shit now I'm really gonna get a heart attack, it's 2-2. The stupid jokers living above me are making a hell lot of noise. And I'd wish to hell West Ham would just slot one or two more past them so they will STFU. Noisy bitches - do they not know it's late at night? Okay granted I shouted for the first two goals BUT that was at 10+.. now it's 11pm they should at least be more considerate right.

Anyway I'm uploading the photos now.. and it's the 62nd minute. Still 2-2. Stupid photos could just upload faster so I can be done with this post and watch some more soccer. my eyes are still on the TV, sorry for any spelling mistakes once again. Liverpool just sent a ball in and I'm damn scared. And that's a foul you stupid ref. I bet the stupid ref just heard me because he's given the foul.

West Ham on the attack. For once. Now it's down to the left. Goal!

ZOMG YES!!! SHIT PARDON IT BUT WTF!!

2-3!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol now screw the little bastard up there. Why isn't he making noise now, eh Liverpool fan? Good. Now I hope West Ham can score one more to totally shut that arsehole up. I mean yea I just whooped for joy when West Ham scored but I think I find my voice more pleasant that his.

One more please. West Ham is attacking again. but shit the ball goes across the face of goal but goes nowhere. West Ham still has possession. Err they are passing back and forth down the sidelines. Now it's back in.. shit. Liverpool takes control and they are hitting on the break, but West Ham is getting back! Ahaha some faguts went down but their acting doesn't work, no foul given.

Err okay back to uploading photos. While West Ham is attacking.. OH. Close call there.. nice try by Reo-Coker. And finally Photobucket is answering my prayers. Here are the pictures.


Probably before the game. Pardew and Benitez chilling out before they started cursing each other secretly. This is what you call "mind games".


Some fancy bicycle kick that Crouch tried earlier on. Being the tall useless beanpole that he is, he obviously missed by a mile. That is, of course, a hyperbole so you don't take me literally. But the part about him being a beanpole is not a metaphor. It's the truth. Okay I should stop being so Literature-orientated and go on to the last picture.

74th minute and the ball is in West Ham's half. I'm going to get a heart attack at this rate but if West Ham wins then maybe it will auto-recover. Eh MAYBE West Ham is a heart, because they keep attacking!! Ahaha that's why when you hear your heart "POUNDING", you know that it's the doing of West Ham. After all that's what Hammers do best - pound at you.

Anyway here's the last pic:

That's after the first goal by West Ham.. though some might argue that it was Liverpool's goal. Okay granted it WAS Liverpool's (own) goal. Give it to them, then. Bet Hyypia must have been cursing at Carragher's foolishness in stabbing the ball right into his own net.. what's more with Eriksson watching from the stands.

Looks like Eriksson might put some n00b into the squad to take Carragher's place. After all he's some stupid manager who can put it some jokers like Theo Walcott. Okay West Ham was playing some games with Liverpool near the corner flag.. in West Ham's half. I can't help but feel scared. ZOMG. At last Hislop has got the ball. Good stuff.

Talk about keepers - I think Reina's quite an idiot. What about having many clean sheets throughout the season and all that hype - ya whatever man 20 clean sheets in the league and here he is in FA Cup Finals proudly conceding 3 goals. Now that it's the 80th minute I think he might concede some more. Haha West Ham's on the attack.. but Liverpool's koped the ball. And there's a little bit of pinball.. but no more threat.

Okay I just realised I have no more pics to post - and I have no desire to get some more off the Net. It's the final 10 minutes, substitutions are being made and I can't really concentrate. Uhh there are people playing now that I don't even know is playing. I'd best go concentrate on the game. Sorry to all readers out there. Haha this is some jokes.

Bye bye!!

And..

Let WEST HAM = FA CUP CHAMPIONS!

Woohoo!

Then sub y(ear) = 2006x, dy/dx = West Ham.

(Okay talk about subs, 40-year-old Sheringham is coming in. Now I really hope that old lad gets a goal or two.. so I really have to go from here. Cardiff beckons. And zomg West Ham just had a lovely shot on goal and ARGH it's just so hard to get off that I'm JUST GONNA PUBLISH NOW!! POSTING IS ADDICTIVE BUT I REALLY MUST GO!!)

When my mind goes blank

It's on occasions like this when I have nothing to blog about where I just start blabbering random nonsense. Like "I've training tomorrow so I'd better sleep early", which is random because I have training every week and I don't usually state the obvious so now that I do, it can be considered random.

And the way I train is bad. So bad that it can be classified as nonsense.

So here you go, random nonsense.

Now let me tell you more about my day. Although today was a public holiday, my new girlfriend (refer to previous post) demanded that I keep her company. What the heck man. It's like I so rarely have one public holiday (I bet the govt collects more taxes than they declare public holidays) and now my girlfriend starts attracting attention.

Damn it man, do you know how pissed I am?

I bet you don't. Forget it.

But anyway I can tell you I'll be soooooooo glad when I can dump that b**** in a year's time. Ahahaha then I'll go find a new girlfriend. Like perhaps some girl with a name starting with B and ending with OOK (which is so not ook!).

Speaking of "okayyyyy", all of you had better go watch Hard Gay on YouTube.com instead of reading this trash. I mean, if you're going to waste time, might as well waste time productively. Watching this stupid (gay) shit will make you have abs by the end of the series as well as probably cheek muscles.

And speaking of the Hard Gay series, let me tell you more about the types of girlfriend I will find.

I could go find my dearest TYS, whose initials are like synonymous with a typical mugger's vocabulary. Like YL said, sometimes acronyms can be so damn misleading. One time I went online and this guy came to tell me:

"eh how you TYS on TCS?"

Then I was like huh - I Ten Year Series on Television Corporation of Singapore, what the heck?

Apparently TYS stood for "talk your shit". -.-"

So everyone should stop using acronyms. I was talking about Ten Year Series anyway, in case you didn't know what it stood for. It also proves you're not a mugger, which is good. Then if the Ten Year Series isn't intellectual enough to be my new girlfriend, I'll upgrade to a more hardcore TYS called the Thirteen Year Series. Then if I'm feeling mad enough the Twenty Year Series.

If my current girlfriend (Council) gets me really pissed off (as she keeps distracting me from mugging) then I'll spite her by going out with Thousand Year Series. ZOMG then don't you think I'll pwn the A levels??

Haha but all these can only materialise a year from now.

Can you please stop reading this? I'm really typing out crap now, and every single word makes no sense whatsoever.

...

STOP!!

Stop please.

Sigh forget it. I'd better sleep early since I've training tomorrow.

Back to square one - random nonsense.

My new commitment

If you think I haven't been putting enough effort into maintaining this blog, I think you can go blame it on my new girlfriend. Okay I shouldn't have broken NGO rules, but the benefits of having this girlfriend far outweighed the cons of having her. Thus I am sorry to announce to the world that I'm no longer a member of the NGO.

My girlfriend has been keeping me busy for late nights. She keeps demanding that I stay in school looking after her welfare. So naturally more time in school means less time at home. Less time at home means less access to a damn computer. Which means I don't get a chance to yell at how much my girlfriend is abusing me. I could come up with a list about what she made me do, and here goes:

1) Making me wake up a whole FIFTEEN MINUTES earlier in the mornings so I can go see her and take care of her (like she cannot take care of herself, the *****.)

2) Making me do all her homework and reflections.

3) Making me lose my voice because I love her so much that I cheer for her like some crazy nut.

4) Making me stay back in school till late at night to ask for my opinion on which boyfriend/girlfriend of hers is the best to keep track of her finances, which person is best to take down notes for her, which person is best to manage her life, etc.

Okay from Point 4 I'm guessing you know that this is no ordinary girlfriend. Some more she's some big-time flirt cum lesbian, having like 88 partners. Uh well which kind of causes a lot of confusion but from all the crap I've been talking about, you'd be an idiot not to know what my girlfriend is called.

Her name consists of seven letters. Starts with C and ends with OUNCIL. Now if you think having such a girlfriend is easy, think again. I've had to apply to get to be her boyfriend okay. Plus I had to sit through an interview with one of her best lesbian partners and err, campaign to see if how many people thought me suitable to be her boyfriend.

So you want to be her boyfriend/girlfriend? Try harder man.

But anyway I think it's kind of depressing to talk about my girlfriend. We should move on to more stupid, cocked-up topics. After all this being a talk cock summit, we should seriously talk more cock instead of talking about what failures we are in keeping to our organisations which you see at the top of this page.

Thus I will make stupid riddles for you to guess. They are kind of related, by the way.

Q: How many RJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Think carefully before you answer.

..
..
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A: You can't change a lightbulb because matter cannot be created nor destroyed. And for that matter, the question is unclear. What exactly is "change"? Some say changes are constant, but lightbulbs might be variables for all you know. You cannot possibly differentiate constant lightbulbs, unless you do it implicitly. But nevertheless my point is that you don't CHANGE lightbulbs. There is no point in doing that. Just go light it up.

Next question, still on the lightbulb issue. Okay assume you've taken the lightbulb out of its place because it's fused already. You want to replace the lightbulb.

Q: How many RJC students does it take to screw in the new lightbulb?

..
..
..
..

I won't tell you the answer yet, I'll let you consider another question. That being:

Q: How many ants does it take to screw in the new lightbulb?

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..
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..

I got a feeling this is going to be damn obvious. Just let me give you a clue. Ants are strong creatures that can lift things up to 20 times their own weight. An average ant weighs 0.723 g (3 sf) while an average lightbulb weighs around 62.6 g (3 sf). Now do your Maths and tell me the answer. This is NOT a trick question.

(This is a lightbulb question.)

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..
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The answer is two.

Now if you'd kindly go back to the RJC students question - how many RJC students does it take to screw in a new lightbulb..

Can you see THE LIGHT? Not from the lightbulb but from your brain. Keep considering the question.

Q: How many RJC students does it take to screw in the new lightbulb?
Q: How many RJC students does it take to screw in the new lightbulb?
Q: How many RJC students does it take to screw in the new lightbulb?
Q: How many RJC students does it take to screw in the new lightbulb?
Q: How many RJC students does it take to screw in the new lightbulb?

Done?

Then comes the answer.

..
..
..
..

The answer is: UNDEFINED

Don't you think a lightbulb is too small a place for any amount of RJC students to fit in, much less to screw? If you got this right, well done. You're obviously in the MRT (ie train of thought) with YL and me. If you didn't get it right, that's okay. Thomas Edison wouldn't, either. Since he spends so much time fiddling with materials to make the filament of a lightbulb, I very much doubt he has time to ponder such crap.

So take pride if you get it wrong. You might be an Edison of modern day.

Right I hope you enjoyed that.

Of rings and words

Rings! Those circular things that bring about endless fascination and envy. Gold rings, silver rings, nose rings, diamond rings, earrings, toe rings, you have them all. Or at least you think you have them all. If you want to get married but are too poor or cheapskate, rather than get the cliche coke can ring, you should get the scientific and intellectual benzene ring.







Now available in four different shapes and sizes at all good jewelry stores.

It's gonna be a riot if you buy it. After all, you've seen a diamond ring, but have you seen a benzene ring before?

And it shouldn't be too expensive since it's a component of cigarette smoke. next time you see someone smoking, don't scold him for making you breathe second-hand smoke. instead, read out into the smoke and grab all you can, for you might just grab the all-valuable benzene ring.

Anyway, on to the part about words. Now I've learnt a lesson in that i should not use abbreviations in my daily life. Observe the following dialogue between me and a friend when we were trying to catch up with each other's lives. of course I've added a bit of crap here and there so don't believe entirely.

me: So what you doing now

friend: I'm in RP now

me:!! You're one year older than me wat. I thought mine was the first batch to go through RP. How come you kope my pioneer status?

friend: Huh? What say you? I'm in Republic Polytechnic leh.

Me:(jacked)

See? This teaches you not to use abbreviations because you never know what other things they can stand for.

Blogger #@*&%@$

Hi sorry for the lack of updates but stupid Blogger was down until like.. 3 minutes ago.

And because I am having 5 very exciting convos on MSN now, I'm afraid I cannot stay here to post rubbish. But at least I'm trying to keep to my quota of the day.

Haha well I'll be back tomorrow. Please be patient. =)

If you're not, go blame Blogger for their lousy server.

Free periods are good

I'm in the Stupid Faguts' Location (SFL) now, and it's all thanks to Mankind's (and RJC's) technological advances that allow me to blog here at this point in time. Unfortunately, this not being my own computer, I do not have the resources to bring you some graphical updates about my exciting no-lifing life. So you'll have to make do with 1) graphic visualisation or 2) pressing Alt-F4 as a sign of protest.

As you all would have known, I did not blog last night. But that was because there was the exciting finale of the Premiership. I know the champions and the relegated teams have been decided, but that didn't stop me from abandoning my work for the TV. Err actually, that's going by the assumption that I even do work in the first place. Where maybe my work = posting here. Arsenal won 4-2, so I could sleep well that night.

Then err, we came to this morning. Where I just had a super exciting Chemistry tutorial in the first block. Our kind teacher offered us the use of chemical models to further deepen our understanding of those bloody meso compounds and optical isomers. So guess what, obviously I accepted the offer. Since my spatial sense was so bad, I found out that models could not help me at all.

So I decided to play architect and form one great compound/building.

This is how it looked like:

H----C----H----C----H

C----H----C----H----C

H----C----H----C----H

C----H----C----H----C

H----C----H----C----H

C----H----C----H----C

H----C----H----C----H

Ya I'm building genius.

Okay damn now the cleaner auntie is sweeping the floor near me and I bet she's trying to get to read my post. Not a chance. I've like a few windows in the background about soccer and I could Alt-Tab anytime. Just because my chemical structure/architectural brilliance looks like the tiles on the canteen floor, she thinks I'm trying to do a post about her. ZOMG right..

Anyway ignoring the distraction, let's get back to my morning. We wasted, no I mean we had a good time learning about Chemistry before I came to the library. And I'm currently reading some article about how the Hammers pwned Spurs 2-1 last night. Okay that's not exactly pwned, but just read what they have to say.

From soccernet.com:
"Tottenham manager Martin Jol does not believe the bout of food poisoning which struck down his squad overnight and helped ruin their Champions League dream was the result of foul play."

Umm a bit obvious right? Foul play only happens DURING the game, not before. And if it's only a Champions League DREAM then he shouldn't expect it to materalise. After all, if they were really desperate for glory, they should go out there and train some more instead of dreaming all the time. Take me for example, I keep dreaming about being err.. a national cricket team player but am I one? Of course not.

People who say "dare to dream" obviously sleep too much.

Speaking of which, my watching of soccer last night has led to a loss of sleep. I want to get some before my Maths lecture starts, and hopefully I won't get any more silly dreams this time. At least if I dreamt of being a cross country champion I might be slightly more inspired to train (note keyword here), but hell I keep getting irrelevant dreams like CH₃ structures and whatnot. Oh well, I think I'd better go now. I treasure my free periods.

And Sunderland has just finished this season with a record low number of points. Since they suck so much I figured I should leave them last in my post. That was kind of random - but now I'll really end off with one word, the same word that the Premiership ended off with.

Sunderland.

Feedback gobbler!

Dangit looks like they banned our TCS account on Yahoo! because we don't check our feedback often enough. I wonder if they do it to the Black Box with RIPB. Like if the silly prefects back then didn't check the feedback box, then someone would seal it forever.

But for now stop sending your feedback to our pathetic email account. That's if you even bother to - because I recall there's a grand total of like three messages in there at last count? (one of which has a title of "Welcome to Yahoo!") Hmm.. but last count was like last December so I'm sorry if you sent something there this year.

Go blame Yahoo! the feedback gobbler.

Tonight's election results. So if you are reading TCS, go switch on your telly instead and watch some live coverage of it. It concerns your future and the future of Singapore, so PRIORITISE and stop reading this blog for today! As I suspect my fellow co-bloggers will be busy watching the results anyway, you all should do the same.

Good day to all. And may the best party win tonight!

Then if they do, we can party tonight.

And for the next elections, you can prepare to vote us.

Polling Day

For the big guns out there, it's Polling Day tomorrow.

While for the small pistols here in RJC, Polling Day is already over as far as they are concerned.

But there might be also a few members of the school community who have MP parents and already are better equipped in campaigning. And going by the logic that my first sentence of this post is correct, those sons-of-the-guns have already had their Polling Day.

And I mean no offence in that - because it's usually these big shots' (no pun intended) sons and/or daughters who pwn you in the school elections. So in the event that I'm running against any of them, chances are that I'll be shot down beforehand.

Well thank goodness I'm not. Or at least I don't think so.

But weapons aside, we should take a moment or two to reflect how similar the RJC elections has been for us to the real deal that will be going on in Singapore tomorrow. In fact, I find that my campaign has many similarities to that of a real political party's.

Now how is that? I'll explain it to you.

1) I GIVE MY VOTERS A CHOICE
Like the WP, I believe in giving my electorate a choice. So instead of having a walkover in the Single Member Constituency (SMC) of Bayley-Waddle, which will soon expand to a Group Representation Constituency (GRC), or something which we call an exco, I decided to give the other candidates a run for their money and therefore choose to make it a three-way fight. After all three-way fights are more exciting - both for betting and for predicting the outcome (though they are related). Since Singapore couldn't produce any exciting three-way fights, RJC will be the scene of FOUR three-way fights.

Now all houses with the exception of the boring constituency of Buckle-Buckley will have a kick out of seeing who will win. We spice up your life, see? And you will remember me for giving you a choice.

2) I CONDUCT RALLIES TOO
Of course, my rallies are nothing like that of the PAP's or any oppositions' in Singapore, but I do deal with bloody pertinent issues. I hold my rallies most of the time in the canteen, with the occasional one up at the constituency of Shaw Foundation Library, where no one runs to be the chairman except for the quietest fagut in the whole damn school. And he's got his army of ministers too. We call them "librarians".

Anyway let me give you a sample of my rallies. Goes something like this:

"You know that fagut teacher called _______________???? (Teacher's name not given to protect myself from getting my arse kicked) I can't believe his teaching style, so f***ing useless and yet he's so bitchy. Sometimes I think that male teachers have PMS lor! That f*** so bloody irritating, make me feel like want to slap his face ar. You vote me in la, I'll fight for your rights. I can suck up to this gay c*** teacher and then maybe he'll treat all of us better."

My audiences range from about two people to around say, seven at most.

3) I SPAM THE SCHOOL
Well I found that spamming your constituency wasn't enough, you had to do more than just that. As a result, I went to tell the whole Raffles community about my intentions to run for minister of Bayley-Waddle SMC, because I wanted to be an SMC (Super Marvellous Captain). Ya which kind of causes me some trouble in classes with my GP teacher asking - "eh you want to be captain right?! then must be more enthusiastic in class!" or something to that effect.

Then oops I just realised that I was effectively giving myself the "inspirational boy" brand - and teachers in turn expect more out of me. Ahahaha they think that I'm some Malaysian Airlines, going beyond expectations? Sorry man, like most ministers campaigning for their SMCs, I only care about my Bayley-Waddle SMC, but other than that I really couldn't give a damn.

Though I do try.

Here's my spamming poster. Straight to the point and straight in your face. Like your minister's photos out there - but only I didn't feel like putting my face on the posters.. might have adverse reactions, so I just put one huge word instead. Point still gets across. (I hope.)

4) I AM INVOLVED IN POLITICKING
You know what they say - politics is dirty. I can't admit that I've been perfect ever since the campaigning started, because I've never been perfect and I don't think I can ever be perfect ahaha! Well like a certain Zemog (name changed to protect identity) out there, I admit to not submitting my minority candidate form even though I was a minority candidate, being the only person from a non-double science class to run for the ministerial position of Bayley-Waddle SMC. Luckily none of them have taken to splashing negative publicity on me, otherwise I think I'm finished for this election.

Oh and another thing: I submitted my nomination form (or campaign proposal, if you please) a whole THREE HOURS late of the original schedule. Though the Elections Department of The Democratic Republic of Raffles (also known as the 25th Students' Council of RJC) still ultimately accepted my proposal, there has been rumblings about how "that fagut is always late in submitting his stuff". Uh, but unlike Zemog yet again, I have been spared negative publicity because there's no real PAP in RJC. =)

You could say I've been let off the hook, but zomg luckily I didn't end up like Zemog. Haha now I just realised how "Zemog" is quite similar to "zomg", but never mind.

5) I TALK COCK
Unlike Singapore's General Elections where parties seem to sling mud at each other, I'm more concerned about talking loads of rubbish. In order not to make empty promises or to break full promises, well JUST DON'T MAKE ANY. That is the secret that I think everyone knows. Basically I like to talk rubbish and let everyone take it all in. Being a democratic republic that RJC is, I understand the electorate's need for amusement and fun. And I give it to them.

Talking cock might not get you the position, but since everyone's doing it (both in and out of RJC), just join the crowd la! I like to be kiasu like most Singaporeans. Don't take any chances, cock up your speech along with the rest. That way you can't go wrong. Or at least if you're wrong, ALL WILL BE WRONG TOGETHER! Zomg some politician am I.

With my once-in-full-swing campaign now over, I finally get to take a breather and watch as the nation polls tomorrow. Singapore does not seem as technologically advanced as the Democratic Republic of Raffles, since we have computerised voting and Singapore doesn't. And also our polling centres are air-conditioned! Looks like Singapore still have a long way to go in terms of voters' welfare eh..

But nevertheless that's not the point. I hope you have learnt more about the Democratic Republic of Raffles's election process here - it's so exciting and fun. I certainly have (learnt much) as a campaigner. Haha I am SO gonna be well-equipped when I come out to the real world of campaigning and politicking in a few years' time. Well with my experience, SINGAPORE HERE I COME!!

In a few years' time. (Since there are candidates in this GE at the tender age of 24 anyway, I thought I might as well set a new record haha. Age of 22 for the win!!)