SPA

Hi actually I didn't want to blog today but just to prove to all you fools out there that I was only joking about TCS closing down, HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!

And if that doesn't do the trick, screw off. I'm going to do one proper post now. But then again since I wasn't planning to post, I really have no idea on what to talk about. BUT! I can blog about something close to my heart.. and as you can see from the title it's SPA, which I happen to have tomorrow.

Of course, as it is not Week 5 yet, this is only a Mock SPA. Well I really want to mock SPA since it sounds so stupid to call it SPA. After all, when one thinks of SPA one think that it is RELAXING and COMFORTABLE. And then what do you have for Chemistry SPA? Nothing but irritation and pure anger, sitting down and feeling stupid. Okay admittedly I'm the only one feeling that, but hey, it's true that it is irritating okay.

And you thought that Chemistry SPA means a nice long bath with chemicals inside designed to relax your muscles and cleanse your body? Fat hope.

So back to the point. SPA is tomorrow and I haven't mugged for it. =X And the teachers can be awful swotters for those little nitty gritty mistakes that you make. In fact, SPA can be officially renamed to be Superb Producer of Anger - since going through a SPA gives you nothing but anger. And the reason why it's called SPA is because it cunningly embodies the true spirit of uh, experimenting, in its acronyms. Let's take a closer look at each letter and you find out what SPA is really all about (other than getting angry).

Significant figures - How many bloody sf you have is of paramount importance to the marker. 1.000 mol is 1.000 mol, not 1 mol. Of course, this is going to be very important next time in real life when we decide to do our calculations on paper - it is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to remember the 0s behind the decimal point. And not forgetting it might come in handy when issuing cheques so remember your 0s. Teachers love them and love to deduct marks from you because of them.

Precision - Refer to above-mentioned point on sf. 4 sf for intermediate steps is 4 sf and there will be no compromise. Any less than 4 sf, you're in for some shit and in case you didn't know, 1 mol can mean 1.001 mol. (teacher's logic, since they just MUST see the 0s)

Accuracy - Refer to above-mentioned point on precision. If that is not enough details for you, refer to notes on sf.

Ya so basically SPA is just bloody writing zeros behind. Not to mention that if you forget them, the teacher will be glad to write it in for you. Under the "marks" section.

Hence, in order to practise for SPA, there is only one way which I will illustrate to you now.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I feel so ready for tomorrow man.

Good luck to all those having mock Chemistry SPA soon. For those who are taking the real Chem SPA now, you can go away because you're false starting. Damn it, we dislike cheaters who take their tests early and then leak out all the answers.. that is so wrong man. (that is to say it's okay to receive answers, but it is bad to give them out. since two wrongs don't make a right, then don't make a right la!)

Okay I think I'm getting dizzy from all the mugging for SPA already (refer to above). Thus, I shall go face the Z'Monster now and once again good luck!

A Whole New Beginning

A whole new beginning is what you get when your computer crashes, like mine did on April Fools' Day. Didn't know computers were smart enough to play punk with me so I reformatted the goddamn thing and now all the stuff is gone. Well no time to dwell on sad stuff I guess. This is what you get when you reformat your bloody hard disk and install windows xp all over again. Nice and clean.














And this is the good ol' MSN Messenger:














I still don't know why my computer suddenly crashed. The last I remember was reading http://rafflesh2opolo.blogspot.com, the blog of the hot and yandao kias. So godamn hot they fried my computer. For those who still do not know, it's the blog of our waterpolo seniors. Very very entertaining.

And this is a whole new beginning. Because we quit for one day. You would notice that there's no blog post yesterday. But we just couldn't leave this, it was too painful. And so we're back, to entertain you people. Be thankful.

NOTICE

Good evening to all our dear readers,

I post today not in the spirit of talking cock, but in dread. I am very sorry to announce that we at TCS have found no more meaning in maintaining such a blog, and neither do we have the time to keep you all entertained. Our busy schedules do not permit us the time to blog, so if you must find someone to blame for this, you are welcome to look for the RJC administration - those faguts who spam us with work everyday so that we have very little time for anything else.

Blogging takes time and time is money. Unless you give me money so that it overcomes my opportunity cost, I'm afraid that I cannot blog any longer. Not to mention we members of TCS argue with each other almost on a daily basis as to who should post. This is causing a rift between us and I, for one, do not enjoy losing my friends. Hence, for the sake of friendship and for the sake of better time management, we have no choice but to end it all here today. We sincerely hope that you can find another source of entertainment for yourselves.

Or alternatively, you could read our archives everyday. Just read one entry a day so you won't get bored.

And to all our faithful readers out there, thank you ever so much for visiting our blog. On behalf of the three-member team that makes up all the crap that you have been reading, thank you all once again for your continuance and persistence in visiting our blog. We understand it has also been a drain on your time, so look on the bright side, now perhaps you won't have to deal with as much crap as you should in your life.

If you still really really really miss us, you are always welcome to come look for us. The TCS blog might be gone, but the talk cock spirit never will be. YL and I will be in the library on Monday afternoons from 3:30pm to 5pm before our French lessons, and err.. we're always around RJC. So if you're interested in listening to good old rubbish again, you're welcome to look us up. We are friendly, don't worry. And though we'll be lying if we said we don't bite (we do actually bite the disgusting chicken from Stall 4), we certainly won't bite YOU. Yep so just come see us if you have too much time to spare.

Umm.. 天下无不散之筵席。(no group of people that won't split up under the sky)

So I guess it's goodbye, and thank you all for the third time. Three times lucky, and good luck to everyone for the future!!

-------------------------------

Oh and a last quote before I leave:

"If you can't talk the cock, go tock your cock."

Infinite Hotel

The Story of the HOTEL AD INFINITUM

by B. David Stacy

This story is not true (in the sense of being real ), for certainly there is no such thing as an infinite hotel . What I have done is taken an idea of David Hilbert's [1862-1943] and put it in a context that students would enjoy, so rest assured that the mathematics is perfectly valid. The point of the story is that the concept of infinity is a very strange and abstract thing. So if you'll just play along with me, I'll tell you about a very weird night I had one time while I was in college, working at the Hotel Ad Infinitum ...
I arrived at work that night, ready to relieve the desk clerk who worked before me on Friday nights. He told me the most unbelievable thing: the hotel was full! Perhaps I should describe the place to you. It was just one great big long hallway; there was a door at the entrance, and when you walked in, the desk was at the left. Then the hall opened before you, endlessly. Along the left hand side of the hall were all the odd numbered rooms {1, 3, 5, 7, 9, ...} and at the right side were the even numbered rooms {2, 4, 6, 8, ...}. The hallway went on and on, on and on forever! It was hard to imagine that the place was full, but he assured me that it was. I should have known right then and there that something strange was going on, but I had an exam coming up, so I sat down, pulled out my calculus book, and started studying.
A little after one o'clock, a huge stretch limo pulled into the parking lot. A chauffeur got out, and walked in.
"Howdy, I need a room for the night; my boss is sleepy; he had a hard game tonight."
"Baseball player?" That figured; even in those days salaries were out-of-sight! But I told him that the place was full: "That's what the sign says, right?"
"Wrong; back in a minute." He went out to the limo, popped open the trunk, and pulled out a little package about the size of a loaf of banana nut bread; it turned out it was a different kind of bread all together! He brought it in, set it on the desk and slid off its velvet cover and--lo and behold--it was a gold brick!
We'd been studying compound interest in one of my classes, and I knew that the student loans I was taking out were going to cost me a LOT more than I was getting from them. My eyes widened with amazement. I looked up at the driver, who was smiling as he said, "So, you think there's something we can work out?"
You bet there was! I immediately grabbed the intercom, and announced to all the guests: "Please excuse the interruption, but if you're in Room N , would you kindly move to Room N+1 ?"
So, the guy in Room1 went to Room 2, the couple in Room 2 went to Room 3, et cetera. It was a mad flurry of rushing folks, dashing across the infinitely long hallway at the Hotel Ad Infinitum ... amazing! Please note that no one lost out, because there was no end to the hallway, and when everyone was settled, there was no one in Room1, right? So the baseball guy took Room 1, I took the gold brick, and proceeded to write my letter of resignation. Incidentally, this must mean that infinity plus one equals infinity, because I took an infinite number of quests, added the baseball player, and put them all up in the Hotel Ad Infinitum. Amazing, isn't it? I was blown away, but the real weirdness had not yet begun.
While I was trying to figure out how to turn my gold brick into normal money, I heard a tremendous rattling sound, looked out into the parking lot, and suddenly there appeared a beat up old VW van, smoke pouring out of its engine, a little trail of oil following it. The driver turned it off (though it kept running for a bit, sputtering and clicking and gasping) and ran into the hotel. Looking a little wild-eyed, he exclaimed that they needed rooms for the night. They? Rooms?
"Sir, did you notice theNO VACANCYsign outside, all lit up, bright, flashing neon?"
He talked on for quite a bit, got confused a few times, but I managed to sort out the story. Seems Dylan was playing nearby, and the van outside was carrying an infinite number of Dylan freaks, all ready to catch their man in action. Actually, he was my man too, so I was very interested. We talked awhile and it turned out that he had an extra ticket. I was wondering where he had gotten an infinite number plus one Dylan tickets, but I figured what-the-hey? Anyway, he offered to lay the ticket on me if only I could put 'em up for the night. I was ready to quit anyway, so I figured why not, and jumped back on the intercom and announced, "Ah, sorry to interrupt again, folks, but we have an emergency here, and if you're in Room N would you please move to Room 2N."
So the baseball player went to Room 2, the guy in Room 2 went to Room 4, the couple in Room 3 went to Room 6, and so on. Again, no one was put out on the street, since--as you may have guessed--the Hotel Ad Infinitum had no back door! When that was over, all of the original guests, along with the baseball guy, were all on the right-hand side of the hotel, in the even-numbered rooms (of which there are an infinite number) and that left all the odd-numbered rooms vacant. So, I put the Dylan freaks into the odd-numbered rooms, which was sort of appropriate, I suspect! I guess this means that infinity plus infinity equals infinity, since I added an infinite number of Dylan freaks and put them in an infinite hotel which was already full!?!? Wait a minute ...
So there I was, my gold brick, resignation letter, and Dylan ticket in hand, staring at the clock, counting down to my new-found freedom, when all of a sudden--oh no, how could this be--a caravan of buses pulled in, an infinite number of buses, and on each bus, an infinite number of people! An infinite number of infinities! What was happening, as I was soon to find out, was that there was to be an ecumenical council of all the galaxy's religions, and every single religion had sent its own busload, loaded with an infinite number of its faithful! Yes, I was seriously in trouble on this one! Naturally, the driver of the first bus jumped out, came bounding in, and requested "a few" rooms for the night ... uh huh! Sure, an infinite number of infinities, it was clear to me, clear as mud! Of course, I reminded him about the sign and how we were full and all, and he smiled and began asking about the Dylan freaks, about the baseball player (how he knew I had no idea) and then started to remind me of the story of Mary and Joseph trying to get a room at the inn, and suddenly it occurred to me that with an infinite number of religions being represented here (all the religions of the galaxy) that one of them, no doubt, was the "right" one, and that it would not be wise to go down as the guy who wouldn't give them a room for the night and sent them to the manger. I mean, did you ever wonder about that guy that sent Mary and Joseph to the manger? I wonder how he's doing?
Well, in one of my courses, we'd been studying prime numbers {2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, ...} and how Euclid, nearly two-thousand years ago, proved that the list of prime numbers is infinitely long. So I got the following idea: I got back on the intercom (last time, I promise) and asked the current guests, "If you're in room N, please move to room 2N."
Thus, the people in the hotel at that time went to rooms 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, .... Then I went outside and explained my plan to the first few bus drivers, and asked them to pass it on. Here's the plan: each bus received its own prime number, starting at three. So the first bus was 3's, the second 5's, the third 7's, the fourth 11';s and so on, one prime for each bus. Then, as for the people on the bus, they all received powers of those primes. For example, the first bus was assigned rooms 3, 9, 27, 81, 243, and so on, powers of 3 (the N-th person on the bus was assigned room 3N). The next bus was assigned powers of five, so they had rooms 5, 25, 125, 625, et cetera, the N-th person being assigned room 5N. There were infinitely many primes, one for each bus, and an infinity of powers of each prime, so everyone had his own room! It took me a while to explain the scheme to everyone--there were a few of them that were math atheists, and it was rough going once or twice, but they all finally settled in.
Then, as I was going over the register, I noticed that no one was in room 6 (= 2x3), nor in room 10 (= 2x5), nor in any room whose number was a product of two or more different primes, since these rooms were not powers of a single prime, and hence had no bus assigned to them. A quick calculation showed that there were, in fact, an infinite number of vacancies! Incredible! I had taken an infinite hotel that was full, added an infinite number of infinities, and when all was done, I still had an infinite number of vacancies!
The point of all this is that infinity is NOT a number, and--though there is a subject called "transfinite arithmetic"--you can't think in terms of doing ordinary arithmetic with infinity. The best way to think about it, is that infinity is a property that some sets possess. Richard Dedekind defined an infinite set to be one which could be put in one-to-one correspondence with a proper subset of itself. It is this strange property that I have played with in the telling of my weird tale.
Incidentally, you might like to know that the hotel closed shortly after that night. Seems there were a lot of lawsuits and stuff, and the last I heard, lawyers -- the number of which is growing without bound -- were convening there. Maybe they'll all be trapped forever, and they won't be bothering common folks any more.


http://scidiv.bcc.ctc.edu/Math/InfiniteHotel.html

The argument

I had this stupid argument with this idiot civics tutorial groupmate of mine. He's some idiot who likes to argue a lot, and I'm not exactly your Smurf who's supposed to advocate peace. So can you imagine what happens when I try to pay attention during Chemistry lecture but do not get what is going on? I ask him - for though idiot he is - he cannot possibly be more idiotic than I. He gave an unnecessary response which sparked off a lot of unnecessary trouble. And so the argument began.

If you are still answering my question as to if you can imagine the argument, forget it. You don't have to imagine it because I'm going to post it right here. Of course, my memory might fail me a little, but here's the gist of it. All vulgarities censored (if I please). And methods of censorship may differ - eg I might use "f**k" or "fcuk" to censor the word "bastard". It's up to you to decipher. Here goes. Let's call this guy B, B for Bugger.

Y (that's me): How come _____(some chemistry concept)_____ is like that?
B: It's because _____(some answer which I didn't understand)_____.
Y: Err never mind.

Then he made trouble:

B: You suck.
Y: You're sad.
B: You're some nubcake.
Y: You're some no life who mugs his notes all day long.
B: Slippery slope!
Y: Who the f*** talks about fallacies, you dips**t.
B: You're some loser.
Y: I'm not the loser who actually CARES about PHILO!!
B: At least I got an A.
Y: Err so?!
B: So you suck. Stfu (pronounced "stufu").
Y: I beat you in Chem test, you fag.
(guess you've noticed by now my language is more colourful)
B: So. I didn't say I wasn't a nubcake.
Y: Yes you implied it.
B: I didn't say it.
Y: You're a disgrace to the GEPs.
(Okay that's kind of a clue - btw no offence GEPs)
B: Err so?
Y: You're a noob.
B: Stfu, I beat you in Maths.
Y: No you didn't!
B: Yes I did!
Y: No you didn't!
B: What did you get?
Y: (censored)
B: *speechless*
Y: See, I beat you bloody noob.
B: Whatever lor!
Y: You lost to an EXPRESS joker!
B: WHATEVER LOR.
Y: Not whatever. It's YOU GOT PWNED!!
B: Sure.
(a moment of silence)
B: Stfu.
Y: That was random, you b*****d.
B: No it wasn't, it was directed at you.
Y: You're weird, man.
B: You're some loser.
Y: You're bored.
B: Who isn't.
Y: I don't know.
B: See?
Y: See what!
B: You suck.
Y: You're sad.

Maybe one day I should just write a damn script. After all I have a whole host of experience in arguing, be it orally or oratorically (bloody GP argumentative essays). Nowadays I seem more arguable than ever, being so argumentative that everyone seems to think the world hates me (ya like Timo). Maybe it's true, but hell, arguing is a life. Do you not see that lawyers are making loads of money just by arguing with some other mofo lawyers as to whether some guy is guilty or not?

And worse still, it's for the most trivial issues too! Instead of spending time flying kites (which they could very well do as they are ADULTS who do not need to come to school), they choose to lock themselves up in courtrooms helping strangers (like they got nothing better to do). Hence, isn't it a bloody waste of time? I wouldn't waste half my life arguing over something that doesn't even concern me, even if it's for money. Unless it's a hell lot, but NO because lawyers are underpaid. Even though arguing is a life, it doesn't seem like a very good life does it.

I therefore propose that someone stops me from arguing with him the next time I see someone in the canteen or wherever. But first, you'll have to convince me why shouldn't I argue with a certain fagut. If you present your argument well, I will listen to you. Just don't expect me not to put up a fight. I'll argue with you till 1) you convince me or 2) I jack you or 3) I'm so bored that I am lulled to sleep by your stupidity in the argument.

Yes and so much for my effort trying NOT to argue. Even though I'm not arguing with anyone now, nor am I bored by anyone's stupidity, sleep is good (refer to Yuk's post). And so that's it I'm off to catch some sleep.

--------------------------

Random joke by a cross country mate of mine (a bit modified and koped without permission, but it sounds like an old joke so wtf):

Q: Why do optimistic people have higher chances of dying in rainy weather (like today)?

A: Because of their POSITIVE thoughts, the ELECTRONS from the lightning will be attracted to them!

Not funny? Well it isn't my joke anyway HAHAHAHA!

boys and girls, go to sleep!

I've been sleeping at 1 am for the past few nights. For a good boy like me, that's really really late. Sleep is really important. If you don't sleep enough, you die young, you get cancer, you get aids, you get dumb, you get rabies, you get the idea. If you don't want any eyebags or panda eyes, follow my advice to sleeping early. Guaranteed success.

1. Don't turn on your computer.

2. Homework is secondary to your health. Tutorials, lectures, assignments, watever. Don't let them kill you. It's not worth it.

3. Take sleeping pill. The more the merrier. Take 50 tablets for eternal sleep.

4. Close your eyes and lie on bed.

5. Don't read anything else besides TCS. This place contains all you need to know about school, home, life, the world and the universe. No point reading anything else. Like that sure can sleep early.

Ya that's all. I'm sorry, but hor I need to sleep early. So too bad. My health more important.

Survival

I assume all of you have got back your Chemistry test already (snigger) and have seen all your wondrous marks (smirk).. and of course the toughest part being bringing it home and getting your parents to sign (snicker).

Wait a minute, why am I laughing at all of you when I'm experiencing the same difficulties! Since we're 同舟共济 (same boat all die), I can only offer you certain solutions next time. Oh no, not disgusting ionic solutions from the Chemistry lab, but practical ones outside Chem Prac which you can most certainly use. In getting your parents to sign without looking at the marks.

1) Photocopy, alter and GO!
Take the question paper and just photocopy it. Alter the marks, and make sure you do it in black and white so you can fake your parents to say that you really photocopied the whole thing. And of course you give yourself a pass. Duh.

2) Soak offending bit in water or preferably some chemical
Well you still need your parents to sign so you must make sure the "Parent's Signature" line is still intact.. and then you get rid of the marks part. Just normal water would do, but if you want to play safe you could try dipping the offending part of the page (ie your marks) into conc. HCl. That should do the trick. And if your parents ask where are your marks - you could always say that it's all in the Chemistry.. solutions.

3) Forge
One of the oldest tricks in the book - but effective nevertheless. I still see people using it up till today, and with its success rate it's no wonder. Unless you get called up for Parent-Teacher meeting, this method is foolproof, teacherproof and scoldingproof. Because the teachers have no proof you did it!

4) Cut and paste
The dangerous and risky but worth a try method if you're really desperate. Just take another piece of paper, write the mark on it, and then paste it nicely on your test paper over the mark. The triangle must be cut to perfection so that it fits exactly. And you cannot use blu-tack, it has to be glue. Only thing is after that you might have some trouble removing it but what the heck, you save yourself a scolding so have fun.

These methods will most certainly definitely undeniably work.. ceteris paribus. Meaning if your parents don't flip over the page to check and add up your marks. If they do GG to you and well I can't say it's my fault.

In case any of you are saying that I'm a bad influence (which I'm not)..

I'm only joking.

MUG HARDER NEXT TIME YOU N00B!

(Edit: Not applicable if your Chem tutor is Wong Tze Yang.)

Protest of the protest overruled!

I play Pikaball which is a sign of my immaturity and n00bness. If I were a real PUNK like YL I would have got away with playing Liero in the library. You all didn't know? Duh he's a first-rate punk, cannot catch him that easily.

Anyway who even bothers with Bio? Sex diseases are so Sec 2.. come on even I know it (at least I passed Sec 2 General Science!) And there's always Focus On The Family - No Apologies stuff to remind me about STDs.. and I'm very sure my knowledge of sex diseases can either be equal or more than any Bio student. But then again since I don't take Bio you can't prove otherwise!

I can't run to Geylang especially since I was already late for class. You will all understand that. Speaking of being retards.. it's not my fault that I accurately represent what we really are. See, you can't compare Bio with me but you can compare Chem!!

Oh and speaking of which, THE BAD INFLUENCE which caused YL's marginal failure has FAILED HIMSELF. Clap clap clap!! But when comparing the degree of retardity (retardness sounds so retarded), I realise that maybe YL is worse off. After all since I pwned him in Maths (like super convincingly) and YL returned the favour in French test (just as convincingly), Chem remains the disputed battleground that either of us can win!

<-- But will you just have a look at this!

Haha I know you don't see any electrons on it, but then I'm so proud to be able to say I'm able to draw a graph on what would happen if you remove electrons one by one from it! (Okay it doesn't make sense at all but I did it anyway.) FULL MARKS OKAY.

Come on YL can you beat me in drawing graphs? As a no-lifer I fiddle with Graphmatica every night and hell, it's damn useful! Next time you need help with graphs just approach me. Better yet, try TI-84 Plus GC or even Graphmatica. I guarantee you can pass your Chem (even though I didn't, I'm excused because I'm a retard.)

So what point am I trying to prove? Nothing really, just that it's nothing shameful to be a retard. And that in the battle of the retards I beat YL 2-1 and so it says a lot about who is being the more retarded of being retards. Haha!

We kind of argued this on the way to French, and guess what, we were both en retard (= late).

Protest Put Down!

Nonono I have to clear some misconceptions. Firstly, my specs aren't coolio. Lemme tell u how i choose my specs.
Optician: This pair of specs *pointing to some flashy spectacle frame* very nice leh.
Me: Cut the crap la! Give me the cheapest one! Stop trying to cheat my money!

And there u have it.
And I am not a punk. See I never smoke, never drink alcohol, never take drugs, never murder pple, never even serve detention before and I was certainly never caught playing pikachu volleyball in the RI library before, unlike YJ. Who's the daring punk who dares to challenge the librarians. Not me. We welcome....... YJ THE punk.

Anyway i wouldn't go to geylang. As a hardworking biology student, I know all the perils of Geylang, such as hiv syphilis chlamydia gonorrhea genital herpes etc etc etc, though I couldn't say the same of YJ because he doesn't take biology. How sad.

Anyway back to that horny Malay guy. YJ could have just told him how to go to Geylang the YJ way. By running. By the time he run to Geylang he got no more energy to do any naughty things liao. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone. But YJ dowan and says he dunno, make us seem like some retards like that and disgrace our school. Sigh

I protest!

What the hell man.. just because I was lazy to post today and asked YL to do it, he could come up with such a sloppy piece of work. It's not even a complete entry tsk. And it's a bunch of lies.

Even if I talk cock, I don't lie.

Here is the true version, which really YL could have saved me the trouble of posting. As you all know, I'm a busy no-lifer, being busy with no life activities. So I'll attempt to correct his mistakes.

First, I wasn't posing at all because I was wearing LONG PANTS. How on earth do you pose with long pants? Unless that old Malay man had X-ray vision (which I doubt or he might have asked YL to a corner already), he couldn't have possibly seen shit. Even if I was posing, it certainly did not warrant an "again". I don't pose.

Anyway the old man was actually talking to YL. Wearing a pair of koolio specs, it was hard to tell who he was actually talking to. Plus YL was so sexy that his whole class so totally loves him!!! (Am I not right, 07S03R?) So it was obviously YL he was talking to and not me.

Oh and with that shaggy short hair and punky looks, YL would seem like the naughty boy to pop down to Geylang every so often. I guess that explains everything.

Hope this clears the air.

How to get to Geylang from Bishan

It was a warm and sunny afternoon. YJ and me were walking to the language centre for lessons, being the good students that we are. While waiting for the traffic light at the junction to turn green, we were stoning and doing absolutely nothing.

No wait. YJ was posing again, showing off his muscular legs. Like how many times must I tell him to stop doing that, but noooo, he doesn't listen to me. And then along comes this old Malay man who comes towards us. I thought he was going to sell us tissue paper, but nooo again, his eyes were fluttering towards YJ's legs. YUCKSSS! Then with drool on his mouth, he asks YJ, " Eh brudddderrrr, how to go to geylang from here?" !!!!! YJ what have you done! how can you turn him on so much that he wanna go geylang immediately! I stood there stoned in horror as the drama unfolded...

Internal Conflict

A certain member of the waterpolo team voiced out his displeasure about the other players of the team. Well, i thought i trusted him but turned out, nah, he was a backstabber.

Well, here's what he said about some of the people:

Sengkong: " Eh Sengkong has alot of strength and is very fit. But in waterpolo fitness is not important. Skills are much more important, something which i have alot."

Yihong: " Eh yihong is not a bad player. Just that even James Miao (who plays outfield) is a better keeper than him. Dont know why he play keeper also. Like transparent like that."

Danny: "Eh Danny ah, not he's so lousy that he's not even worth mentioning."

James: "Aiyah James Miao so light. The ball dropped right infront of him he will sure get pushed away by pple."

Jeremy: "This guy, whole day only know how to apply sunblock. No use one."

Chenkai: " Only Chen Kai and I are like the good players of the team lah. The rest are like damn far away from us."

When asked who's better: " Aiyah Chenkai is good when he is on form. But he is only on form sometimes unlike me who's like on form all the time."

That particular person also claims to be in the U18 National Youth Team and is the captain as well.

I thought we were a team.

We were a family.

How could you do this to all of us!?

What happened to the team spirit?

What happened to the respect for the rest of your team?

You aint no waterpoloer no more!!

Haha guess who that person is.

{ by the way it's a joke okay. no internal conflict! JOKE! JOKE!!!}
------------------------------------------

Anyway on my way back last friday i heard this interesting conversation between two guys.

WARNING - LOTS OF VULGARITIES

-i picked up the converstation halfway so im not sure how it started.

1. You call the girl right. Cannot call everyday one lah.
1.You call then you say like eh is it fine for me to call you tmr? If not i will call you in two days time.
1.If you everyday call then the girl will be like what the fcuk why the hell i give my number to this irritating bastard.
1. So you call like me right, if she dont want you to call then she will say she's busy. Then u must be like a gentleman dey.
1. Eh im cool with it so i guess i will call you in two day's time?
2. Dont bluff lah. Last time you taught me how to date girls you got me into trouble man.
1. Wont one lah. That time i was at the void deck then suddenly some girl just walk over. Then ask me to go with her and i was like wtf. Then she kissed me and said sorry it was a dare and i was like wtf. Like fcuk i didnt even see the face of the girl im kissing like fcuk. Like wtf man. Fcuk!

-suddenly they start to growl and teach each other how to make black metal music sounds.

1. Wah lao is that the muthafker whom we saw at the bus stop just now? fcuk!
1. He looks fcking irritating lurhh.
2. Which fcuk?
1. That fcuk.
2. Wrong fcuk lah.
1. Ah fcuk man.
2. Ah fcuk you man.

-talks more about that guy whom they saw at the bus stop.

1. Wah lao eh today so many muthafkers wearing that fking jacket.
1. This fcuk
1. That fcuk
1. Knn fcuk
1. Fcuk man.



Eh i warned you about the vulgarities. But this is what happen when your vocabulary is limited.

Reflect and review

Erm one week of school has passed.

And SEE, WE ARE ALREADY SO BUSY LAST NIGHT NO TIME TO UPDATE!!!

Actually I was very busy just now, watching the Liverpool vs Everton match and trying to analyse how lousy Everton was. Oh and I was trying to count the number of fans in the stand to improve my Maths. So I couldn't have blogged earlier, sorry. As for last night, I was busy catching up on Gunbound time (ya I play Gunbound so what) that I would have played during the holidays. So I'm sorry I couldn't update.

But not so sorry to the extent that I won't play anymore Gunbound. Oh no.

I term this business (busy-ness) "holiday hangover" - and how long does it last into the term is none of your business. Others get drunk on beer but actually you don't need alcohol to be drunk. If you don't believe me just drop me a message on MSN and I'll teach you some quick-drunk methods. The one above is one of them.

Hmm looks like my test results aren't going to get any better. I'm getting back Chemistry on Monday and if I fail I'm going to drown my sorrows in iced lemon tea aka soapwater. After all since failing Chemistry is all about not knowing acids and stuff like that, I could just drink soapwater and claim that I don't know that their pH is less than 7. Then if anything happens it's none of my business.

Oh and talk about business - Monday also signals the start of ECONS REMEDIAL! Whoa first remedial of the year. I wouldn't say it's early because one term has passed before I got started on remedial. So yay that's something to be proud of!!!! I'm a proud member of RGB - the Remedial Gang Boy. Every single year I get pulled into remedial classes, and then I come out a better student.

Yes so I am gonna whoop some arse during this term. Watch out okay.

Here is my resolution for the coming weeks of Term 2..: 1024 x 768

Do you suppose I'm going to change it just because I'm in remedial class? -.-" What has remedials got to do with my resolution anyway? Anyway on second thoughts resolution could mean like, water being moved from liquid state to solid state and then back to liquid state again. So from a solution, it becomes a solid, then back to a solution again. Aha, then the water has been resolutioned! Bonding myself with Chemistry, I see no other path than to improve.

Coming up next week also is COUNCIL'S INTERVIEW!! Zomg I can't believe they still accepted me despite that essay I submitted (you all saw it didn't you). Then again I was telling the truth so I guess they were rather impressed with my sincerity. Which is good since I love the school and without having the chance to serve in the 26th Student's Council, I think I will die (okay maybe not). My point is, next week's my interview and I'm not looking to screw it up.

Then again, what can they possibly ask in a Council interview? For those who have taken it, you are not supposed to reveal your questions because of DISCIPLINARY ACTIONS so you'd better not. As for those who have not and need some help from a fellow not-yet-interviewed person, I have with me a ten-year series Council Interview questions. Very useful. It's compiled from my ten-year knowledge of the Council, whatever impression and meaning that I got out from that word - "council".

Hope you find it useful. If you get past the interview stage, thank me. If you have already taken the interview and later you get past the interview stage, I assume you have some way of looking into the future and reading my ten-year series. It's okay really, I don't mind.

1996: Why do you want to join the Council?
Model answer: Because it's 1996 and I love the school, I want to serve, it's my passion to serve, because if I don't get in I'll die, and because I've been dreaming of joining Council since 1986, which means it's 10 years and that's a nice number so won't you let me in please???

1997: Why do you want to join the Council?
Model answer: Because it's 1997 and I love the school, I want to serve, it's my passion to serve, because if I don't get in I'll die, and because I've been dreaming of joining Council since 1987, which means it's 10 years and that's a nice number so won't you let me in please???

1998: Why do you want to join the Council?
Model answer: Because it's 1998 and I love the school, I want to serve, it's my passion to serve, because if I don't get in I'll die, and because I've been dreaming of joining Council since 1988, which means it's 10 years and that's a nice number so won't you let me in please???

...

I think you get a rough idea now. Of course the model answer is kind of undeveloped but then again when you see a ten-year series you are supposed to PRACTISE! And anyway this is what most ten-year series are like, boring and monotonous and basically bloody 千篇一律。Meaning literally one thousand pages, one law.

Imagine fitting one law into one thousand pages -.-" that's like using Copperplate Gothic font, size 20^06 now don't tell me to work that out, it was a totally random figure. And don't tell me that my Chinese is bad, I know that my translation is not 100% but if I don't translate it some n00bs won't understand so you must know that this is for the benefit of everyone. I don't like racism.

So anyway, use the model answers to your discretion. It's applicable to all councils - including your local Town Council. Maybe next time when you have a job interview with them you could try using that. No harm since you're basically still serving - only different people.

Yep so that's it. Good luck to all those running for interviews unless you're in my way. Then you better not have good luck because I'm an arsehole and believe me, I don't have that much luck left to give out to you. After all, you can tell I'm down on my luck after failing almost every single subject I take. Having very little luck (supply), you demand more luck from me? Well sorry then we will never reach an equilibrium point.

And if you really think you cannot pull off the interview, think of Economics. It might save you at the end of the day.

You have a few days to raise up $10000. I doubt any councillor can resist that.

P.S. Assuming I do get into Council and assuming that I would be interviewing juniors next year, you could try the last tactic I mentioned. I won't resist your money, but I also won't be able to resist kicking you out!! Did I mention that $10000 might be sufficient to earn me tuition for every subject? No? Well I've said it now. Goodnight.

Stoopideeti

I sometimes wonder about my level of stoopideeti, especially in recent times when I am getting back all my tests. My results were nothing like they were in RI (back then it was mediocre), because now my results are nothing.

Yes you didn't hear me wrong. Nothing.

Okay wait I just demonstrated my stoopideeti by saying "hear me wrong" - look, how can you hear me when you're just reading this rubbish I type? Even if you turn on your speaker I haven't figured out how to upload sounds onto the blog - which again is further evidence of my stoopideeti. Shit, I'm starting to think the world revolves round my stoopideeti. Which yet again further proves I am stoopid because upon checking the Net I realise that it is Earth that revolves round the sun, not around me.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME ARGH!!

Of course, it's okay being stoopid once or twice. In fact, it's kind of useful. I did something real stoopid during the period of Chinese New Year and I had some amazing discoveries. So although I will mention about the disadvantages of stoopideeti later, I must first elaborate on the advantages. (balanced view)

Well during CNY I came back on the first day tired after my Cross Country training. So without as much as a thought I just went to shower. Okay then I went online to blog about the Cross Country experience. And then I realised something was amiss! Where were my red packets?

Then it occurred to me. The ultimate stoopid thing that could have happened - the red packets were soaking along with my NEW PANTS! Now if you do not understand the full (fool) extent of that stoopid thing I did, let me tell you the consequences.

1) The red packets were soaked and soggy.
2) The red packets contain money, which was also soaked and soggy!
3) The colour of the red packets will run onto the pants.
4) My pants are new and already I've ruined it with red stains?!
5) If I wear my pants again people are going to think I'm female.

So for these six reasons I am screwing myself up. To prove that I really did soak the whole load of red packets, I present you my research findings.



And it turns out that this particular note that I received was certainly not a counterfeit. After all you can see all the safety features there.. WATERmark, UV stamp, whatever. By the way, that was not the only note that got soaked to the skin (see I'm saying stoopid things again), because I had at least five or six other notes that suffered the same fate.

It was then where I became thankful for plastic notes. They were hardly affected.



Next time they should really make $10 plastic notes and $2 paper notes.. tsk look how much money I've lost because who's going to accept the $10 crap with decolourisation (a bit). And before you read further I just realised two stoopid things: 1) there are only five reasons, not six (look up there) and 2) they should just make all plastic notes and save stoopid people like me the trouble!

Sigh.. I think I'm really making a fool out of myself. Okay but at least one good thing came out from it and that being that I know my notes aren't fake. Umm well next time you might like to try it to test if your notes are authentic. Haha yes.

So now, back to more recent topics. I'm sure you are very interested on how far my stoopideeti goes, because if you have been failing tests I'm HERE TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER! Talk Cock Summit does not only seek to entertain, we also seek to console those who have performed badly in our tests because no matter how badly you manage to do, we manage to do badlier.

YL and I are classic examples. Maybe YL isn't, but I certainly am. After all, YL's civics tutorial group is full of muggerssssss (that's what HE claims) and he's bottom. Well I believe him. My CTG doesn't have that much muggers and yet I am almost bottom! Therefore if you compare us, I believe that I am stoopidier but let's leave that out and bring in the figgers.

My subjects: Maths, Chem, Econs, French
YL's subjects: Maths, Chem, Bio, French

What I failed: Chem (assumed), Econs, French + GP LOL!
YL failed: Maths and Chem

And I believe I am kind of a bad influence to YL because I always try to convince him not to mug. Being of Anti-Mugging Club (AMC) and Anti-Tutorial Movement (ATM) origin, I am almost equivalent to any retard and am the current delinquent of RJC. Yet no one pities me because I deserve my lousy marks by not mugging. What's more YL's failures are borderline while mine is umm.. undefined.

Tsk and you thought I can only talk cock? WRONG I can also FAIL TESTS.

Shit now I realised I got nothing else to say. That's stoopideeti for you - trying to bring out figgers to prove a point but in the end forgetting what I had to prove. Nevertheless, failure is the mother of success and despite my stoopideeti I believe I will succeed one day. Anyway from so many instances in this blog plus my failure list has already shown my stoopideeti and now I'm just going to umm.. come up with an improvement plan.

So here goes my plans for different subjects.

MATHEMATICS (barely passed!)
1) Learn how to use Graphic Calculator. (Oh by the way there's an excellent article on this on http://judeslads.blogspot.com ya advertisement but VERY USEFUL, I feel smarter after reading it so do drop by.)
2) Let's see.. draw graphs with pencils. (pen ink difficult to change!)
3) Practice makes perfect! But they never said how much practice so in actual fact a stoopid person like me could take fifty years before I can get full marks in a Maths test. By which time will there still be tests?

CHEMISTRY (assumed fail)
1) Mug Periodic Table.
2) JUST SKIP THE DAMN STOICHIOMETRY QUESTIONS!
3) Don't use Graphic Calculator to do calculations.
4) Okay number 3 is quite Fe-y since I said in the Mathematics sector to use it. It's up to your own discretion.

ECONOMICS (failed)
1) Think of money, think of money, think of money.
2) Mug demand and supply notes and for consumer surplus, DO NOT draw arrows and claim that represents surplus. No that isn't the case.
3) Draw bigger graphs because teacher doesn't like small graphs.

FRENCH (failed REAL BAD)
1) Je ne sais pas.
2) Aucune idée.
3) Aidez-moi!
4) www.freetranslation.com

GP (failed REAL BAD also!)
1) Go to the army and become a general. Then I might own the paper.
2) Read more Enid Blyton books (P.S. I claim to be an expert in Enid Blyton literature but after my GP grades I'm starting to think otherwise.)
3) Bring in economic concepts and start bribing the teacher.

Well ya for those who take these subjects I hope they help you. Because I certainly need a lot of it.

And my stoopideeti is getting to me, my thoughts are getting incoherent. I'd better get off from here before I prove to be a complete moron. That is if I haven't proved it already.

Okay but before I go let's have a STOOPID joke from me!

-------------------------------------

Q: Why does the person leading our country have menses?
A: Because he is the PRIME MINISTER OF SINGAPORE! (PMS)

No offence to whoever might take offence. I'm assuming only the PM would and no, I don't think he'll read my blog. And if you're thinking of tagging on the tagboard under his name, especially Paul Yap or Seetow, could you please not do it thank you.

China Chee Bye(Part 2)

It was a bright sunny morning. The magnolia clouds dotted the sky. The bright sunlight pierced through the curtains. The air stank of the exhaust from the cars. The birds were chirping.(Thnx yh). The team woke up, and got ready to enjoy a hearty breakfast (my balls la) before facing any challenges that come our way on this new and exciting day. We stayed on the 15th storey. So naturally, we took the lift(we're not yj). In this particular lift were sengkong, james, yh, zheng and myself.

Whirwhirwhir the lift goes down, and it seems a journey just like any other. But hell no. The lift stops at some storey which I have forgotten, and in comes the China CheeBye (ccb). Let me first describe the ccb. Actually I can't remember much but one sentence suffices. He has "i am a ccb" written all over his face complete with that ccb look and ccb hands and ccb legs and ccb clothes. What a ccb.

Anyway, as soon as the ccb steps into the lift, the lift goes 'deedeedeedee' because the lift didn't like the ccb either and because he was so fat. But the ccb, being a ccb, decided to remain where he was and gave this ccb look at all of us. Then he proceeded to look at the level indicator of the lift with his ccb eyes as if wondering why the lift wouldn't go down.

A gurgling sound filled the entire lift. It was the sound of our blood boiling. But being the nice people that we are, eventually james and sk went out to take the next lift. We thought we couldn't be more angry. Until we got down to the first floor and the ccb immediately took the same lift up again! Wtf! Ccb!

Enough of that angsty stuff. I have made a startling discovery! That is that some people have negative weights. Some day, I was at Plaza Sing and I took the lift. It was crowded but everyone squeezed in without problem. One floor up, someone got out. And the lift went 'deedeedeedee' such that I had to get out. Actually I wanted to take a closer look at that mysterious person who had the negative weight. But he was gone. Vanished into thin air. So weird. Anyhow, that's extreme dieting for you.

Shit Happens

The following took place during the china trip. For the safety of the people involved, their names have been changed. But i guess it's still quite easy to guess. Anyway, if you think you know who i'm talking about please spare him the embarrassment cause i think he's really a funny guy.

It was a bright sunny morning. The magnolia clouds dotted the sky. The bright sunlight pierced through the curtains. The air stank of the exhaust from the cars. The birds were chirping.

Okay.

Training in the morning ended. The polo team came back to the hotel.

A sharp pain overcame Danny. It hit him straight in the stomach. He needed to answer the call of nature.

A sharp pain overcame Shit King too. It hit him straight in the stomach too. He too needed to answer the call of nature.

Unfortunately Danny and Shit King are room mates.

Danny grabbed the keys and rushed into their room first and conquered the toilet.

Shit King, having no where else to shit, soon turned to Jeremy and I.

With a pleading look on this face, we couldnt really reject him you know.

After all, what if he shits at the corridors?

So, Jeremy and I graciously let him into our room and offered him out toilet.

Having nothing else to do, we made our way to Sherwin's and Chenkai's room to play cards.

It was all peaceful.
So peaceful.

And then....the phone rang.
RINGGGG RINGGGGG!

I picked up the phone.

"YIHONG YIHONG! YOUR TOILET IS STUCKED! MY SHIT CANNOT FLUSH DOWN! IT IS OVERFLOWING NOW!"

Oh my son! Shit King stucked our toilet with his gigantic shit.

I ran back to our room as fast as my legs could carry me.

Then Shit King was already along the corridors shouting to me, " Eh your toilet! It's overflowing!"

To our horror when we reached our room, we saw pieces of shit floating around the floor in a puddle of urine. [ Nah it wasnt that bad. It was just water on the floor. But a little bit of excitement and a little bit of lies wont kill.]

And for the rest of the trip, Jeremy and I had to sleep in the cupboard and using towels to block the smell from coming in. What an uncomfortable trip! [We made that up too.]


Thus we can conclude that Shit King's shit is gigantic. Cause normally if it's like one long piece of shit, you can still flush it down yeah? But Shit King's shit must have been the size of like 3 pieces of shit stuck together so big that it actually chokes the toilet bowl!


But when you are feeling sad and feeling down, all you need to know is that... SHIT HAPPENS.

{ For a first hand story telling of the whole incident complete with sound effects and facial expressions, please approach Jeremy Kwang-Ge who will gladly recount the events of that day with you.}

The China Chronicles Part 2

Of course the greatest China Chronicles - The Chronicles of Shit King is still in the making so please bear with us as we entertain you with more china stuff before we bring out the REAL stuff.

In the meantime, please bear with me as i attempt to entertain you with more interesting chronicles.

Due to the lack of pictures this trip, we will have to do with words.

Rule 1. Whoever can drive in China, can drive anywhere in the world.

I am serious yo! In china, the drivers are the men! In Singapore all you have to look out for is what is infront of you and what's behind you. In China, you have to look out for the car infront of you, you have to look out for the cars behind you. You have to look out for the cars beside you trying to overtake you. You have to look out for pedestrain on the road who may be as close as 10 cm away from you when you zoom past them. You have to look out for the people peddling goods on the street and be careful not to knock them down. You have to look out for the people sleeping under the bridge and on the road. You have to look out for people moving goods twice their size with only a run down trolley and one silly rope to attach all the stacked up boxes. Plus more importantly, you have to look out for cyclist who think that their bicycles are as powerful as the motorcycles on the road!

To further prove the point that if you can drive in China you can drive anywhere, our bus driver reversed into the MAIN ROAD straight. Like you know orchard road that kinda road and then a bus suddenly reverses from far east shopping centre? Oh yeah we are all still alive dont worry. The driver is good.

Rule 2. Whoever said China is not cold is wrong.

China is holy mama oh my son COLD. First day when we arrived we were still docked in our normal singaporean wear of tshirts and shorts. The weather was cooling and it was about how it would normally be in an air conditioned class room. The second day, the wind got stronger and some of the poloers began to take out their jackets. By the third day, temperatures fell to 8 degress or less. The whole team wore jeans and shoes and many many many many thisrts and sweaters. I guess i have already proven my point the previous post. But then i just want to warn whoever that is going to china TSHIRTS and SHORTS are not enough. When they mean cold, they mean COLD.

Baskit, it was so cold that the air above the swimming pool condensed to form mist.

Rule 3. China food is cheap.

A not-too-bad meal in a chinese restaurant will cost around 5-6 sing bucks and trust me it is extremely worth it. You will probably spend about the same amount in Singapore just to get that kind of food ( 20-30 yuan). Go eat in china!




I think i ran out of stuff to say about china.



But never mind. Take a look at this. Blogger in chinese.

My whole blogger is now in chinese.

Okay i will blog about the infamous ' SHIT HAPPENS' tmr.

First to Bata then to school

I don't know what Ree Plaisment has been telling you last night but I certainly haven't been out drowning my sorrows. He's half right though - I haven't touched my holiday homework. But you know what? I'm not in the least bit remorseful because I'm from Anti-Mugger Club (AMC) and Anti-Tutorial Movement (ATM)! The un-touching of my homework calls not for sadness, but of celebration!

So last night I went out to celebrate and neglected my TCS duties. I'm sorry. But you know what? Actually I'm not sorry at all, because I went to get some stuff for myself!! As you can see from the title, it's FIRST TO BATA then TO SCHOOL. It would then seem inappropriate not to drop by Bata before making my rounds to school (ugh) tomorrow.

And.. I bought this shoe for $9.95, at half the normal price!

Look at it, and tell me it's damn nice please.



I won't blame you if you say it isn't, because I myself do not think so. But just tell me it's damn nice anyway to make me feel better. It's such a bargain for $9.95 man. Every week in school I save up a $1 coin, and at the end of the term I had ten of those coins. Then I used them to pay for my shoes next term! Just how cool is that man. The shopkeeper didn't seem too pleased with getting $1 coins but you know, who really cares.

Anyway if you haven't noticed by now why I got it at half the normal price, is because I only bought one shoe! Ya it's the left side, which side's ankle is not sprained. That's why I get to wear funny shoes with that leg. For my right leg, I guess I'd have to make do with my old pair of shoes. Oh and anyway if I haven't told you, I found some sticky stuff inside my old left shoe out of the blue. I felt rather disgusted which was why I decided to go buy a new pair, I mean a new left shoe.

And I'm pleased with my new buy, though the shopkeeper seemed reluctant to part with one shoe. However I convinced him that this model looked like some shit you'd expect out of a cartoon show, so he eventually gave in to my request.

Tomorrow I'm going to dazzle everyone with my coolio shoes man.

And here's wishing everyone good luck before the gates of hell open tomorrow. Then you can keep the good luck because things won't get real bad until they DO open. When school goes into full swing (ie with you in it), then you'd most probably need more good luck than I can ever give you.

Before I leave here's a joke from Paul Yap. I modified it though to suit the situation. Here goes:

Q: Why does the area around the school seem so clean?

A: BECAUSE SCHOOL SUCKS.

Live from SummitCock

"Good evening everybady, this is Ree Plaisment from SummitCock (SC), S you can C from the logo behind. Now very unfortunatly, YJ isn't here vith us tonat, becarz that silly old sod has gun ta drown his sorrows elsevere, knowen that school reopens on Munday! In any case, fret nut, becarz I'll be yar reeplaisment for tonat! Let us see the headline neuz, actually sadly our only neuz for the day.

Well recently it has been radur hazy, hasn't it? Rumours have claimed that the fire isn't really coming frum Indonesia after all. We have substantial evidens to prove that the causs of all this haze is FRUM THE KEMIKAL LABS OF RAFFERS JUNYA KOLEJ!! Here iss arwer file picture.

No darbt, the fire duss form some very interesting vurds, but S I am from SC and nut the country that whatever this vurd is deryft from, I have no idea what it says. But as somevun has boddered to submit this foto to me, I assume that it iss causing the haze in Singapore. Well 'en, the relevant authorities will see that RJK (Kolej, remember) will pay for this demej to the environmen.

And surry for the lack of konten, but narten seems to be going on nowadays. Especially vith that seelly YJ who desides to wait till the holidays are almost over befur desiding to start on this thing called 'homework'. Of carz, knowing that he has littel chance of kompleting it, he then desided to just go out to drown his sorrows. Just that unfortunatly, he's below 18 so it has to go into Aspartamik drink called Koka-Kola. It's some organik kemistri but (censored) it, I furgut which kemikal wos that.

Anyway, just take this as a temporary break from YJ. I bet he's been talken so much (censored) that you have been bored anyway. Hope you will vaste sarm time desiferen what I'f been sayen. Oh and the weather will be bad for the next few days - and unfortunatly school will reopen then. School sarkes, good night."

The China Chronicles - mice love rice.

In geography and economics we learn that china is the world's factory. That, without a doubt, is true. We all believe in that.

And then we also learn that China is the world largest producer of rice. That, again, is true.
China produces enough rice to feed their 1.3 billion pple and plenty of other chinese and rice eating pple in the whole world.

The above is a picture of a rice paddy. Im pretty sure that when James Miao retires he would want to owe one of this.

And then we also learn that chinese eat rice. So James Miao discovered his chinese roots in China despite being an african for the past 16 years. The lure of rice was simply too much for James Miao to resist. Or put it in another way, James Miao discovered his african roots for chinese rice in China.

Every morning when James Miao wakes up, he knows he needs to outrun the fastest cheetah.

Give James Miao a bowl of rice, he will eat it up.
Give James Miao a big big big pot of rice, he will still eat it up.

Give James Miao a bowl of rice, he will eat for a day.

Give James Miao a rice paddy, he will eat rice for a life time.

Here's how the dinner conversation always go:
Waitress: Here's the dishes.
James: WHERE'S THE RICE!?

Waitress: Do you want a bowl of rice each?
James: NONO! BRING OUT A BIG POT!

-while eating
James: Waitress! MORE RICE!

-still eating
James: MORE RICE!

-when everyone has finished eating
James: MORE RICE!

-James approaches the other table
James: Got any rice left?

Everytime the waitress serves the rice. We will scoop some rice into the little rice bowl that we all have when u go to a chinese restaurant and the rest will go to James Miao who without fail will finish everything up.

That's about the amount of rice James finishes every meal haha. Those really big big big pot you know. Not the small one.

This has led to the discovery of a newest sports training method which we call rice-loading. There are several advantages that this new method brings about.

1. Eating more rice results in an increase in weight.

Example: James could mark some fat guy twice his weight without being flinged off due to the amount of rice he ate. However during one moring trng before his usual rice loading, James was performing terribly. He was pushed away several times by the opponent.

2. Eating rice makes you immune to cold.

Example:

This was James Miao in sec3. He might have changed. But take note of what he was wearing. That's some cheapo one layer cotton long sleeve shirt. Wearing something similar or even something thinner, James Miao prowled the streets of Guangzhou in temperatures of less than 8 degree celcius when the rest of the team was docked out in the thickest tshirts,tshirts,tshirts,sweaters,sweaters and more sweaters and lots of jackets.

X: James u not cold ah?
James: No lah!

- the rest of us were freezing.

3. Eating rice makes u jump higher, swim faster and play better.

James was made Man-of-the-Match after his heroics performance which included scoring as many as 1/3 of all the goals and intercepting several passes and rejecting several shots.

You think this guy can jump high? Nah, he didnt even jump to his trunks. James prolly jumped so high that u can see his d33k.

Conclusion: James loves rice. Like mice love rice.