What the duck!

Before I post anything let me remind you that today is 20th August 2006. So what, you ask.

Well it's THE FIRST BIRTHDAY OF TCS!!!!

And hurray we lasted one year! Though admittedly we had our off days (like the recent big bang), yayay we lasted one year! Long live t3h cocks.

Recently I've been going to Biology lectures and you wouldn't believe some of the stuff they said there. Like, a bird might be related to a snake in the animal kingdom. Classification of animals might not seem what they seem. If you eat chicken, you are eating the dinosaurs of today. Arguably they are nothing like T-Rexes, and hence we eat them. But even though I don't take Bio, I must say that sometimes we must learn to expect the unexpected.

Meaning what? Meaning even though two species might seem very close, they might not be very close after all. See, eating chicken is pleasurable and fun, because one is able to get a packet of chicken rice for $3. If you eat substandard chicken rice, maybe $2. The duck might seem to be a close cousin of the chicken when you talk about phylogeny, but eating duck is a mental torture and a drain on your wallet.

At least, eating at Lim Seng Lee Teochew Duck Rice is. It's a rundown little stall at South Buona Vista Road, apparently "famous" for its duck rice. I think the newspapers might have made a little typo while recommending the duck rice, after all newspapers are typed by humans and humans make mistakes. Plus it doesn't help that the letter "F" is just next to the letter "D".

Well today was a joyous occasion. To celebrate all the cock we've been coming up with for the past year, I thought that I would go eat some chicken (ie cock) to celebrate. But chicken everytime is boring, and when you get stuck down some ulu place in South Buona Vista Road, you don't get much choice.

So remembering that I had a Maths test next day and that I would like variable separable food for my dinner, I decided to go for the chicken's cousin. The duck. In case you don't know how one looks like, it's like this.



Damn cute eh. I wished I never went to the duck rice stall now. Let me tell you the name again - Lim Seng Lee Teochew Duck Rice. Such a bloody disgrace since the owner probably shares the same ancestry as me. (He's Teochew too, what the duck.)

Well even though he might be Lim and he might be Teochew, I will curse him not to have anymore Seng Lee (dialect for business) for the rest of the year because the stupid owners running the place are seriously a bunch of duckers.

Let me substantiate my claim. I went there with my friends so you can ask them as well. If you don't know my friends ask me and I'll ask them to talk to you. When we first arrived the whole place was damn full so we couldn't find a seat. The auntie, however, seemed more concerned in talking duck with the uncle instead of trying to serve us. After all we were walking up and down at least she could ask us if we had a problem?!

But no! She didn't. So even though there isn't much cause to be offended, the silly rundown stall in decrepit state deserved to be condemned. We found a seat. Actually, five seats so we sat down. Waited for service and the drinks auntie (probably in collaboration with the duck rice auntie since she talked duck as well) came over. Asked if we wanted drinks. Well she didn't seem to have anything except barley so after a while we decided not to order but she didn't get the hint. And she walked away rudely when we made it clear. What the duck?

Another drinks auntie walked by, but thankfully she was less impatient and suddenly the drinks stall seemed to offer lime juice and other drinks as well. You don't expect to sell one drink and get away with it. What's this, a monopoly where there is only one unique product?

We ordered duck, and we got duck. Duck for five people was basically little shreds of duck piled over cucumber at the bottom so fools like us who talked cock could not see the vegetables beneath them all. The duck was cold, the rice was cold and the servings were meagre if I were to give a generous description of it all. The only people being generous at the stall were probably the customers.

We were considering complaining loudly, but you see, there's a limit to how much you can piss off the man because 1) he was carrying a chopper and 2) they could poison our next serving of rice (everyone ordered at least two bowls). So we had to bear with it.

At the end of it all, we had to pay. Or rather we were being polite by wanting to pay and DUCK! The minute portions that we ate cost a total of $51.50?! This is what we ordered, okay: 5 plates of duck rice which merely was there to cover the surface of the plate, duck for 5 people (and more cucumber than duck on the plate, by the way), 5 bowls of rice, 4 drinks and 1 vegetable dish. Oh by the way the vegetables cost $6, and it looked as if it was leftovers from last night.

The stall had newspaper cuttings hung up at the side of their walls. They were from the Straits Times.. about two decades ago. And to emphasise the facts that this was just a bunch of old farts just ducking around, they hung up the same article in many places. Desperate duckers. Did they think we were too dumb to notice?

I gave them $8 worth of coins. I could have done better and not paid, since the ducking uncle didn't even bother to count the coins. After all, having ripped us all by giving us a ducking small amount of food, to pay him $20 in total was to let him cover his total variable costs AND his total fixed costs.

NEVER GO BACK TO THAT DUMP.

Lim Seng Lee Teochew Duck Rice, South Buona Vista Road.

Lesson learnt? Cock is cock, duck is duck. There is Maths test tomorrow, I should have learnt how to differentiate the both of them. In celebrating TCS's one year anniversary, there can be no close substitute to cock. Remember. The cross elasticity of demand for chicken is 0. If you can't get the cock, don't get the duck.

That is all I have to say.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TCS!!!

Random thought

Q: Why did Liverpool and Arsenal draw in their first games against Sheff Utd and Aston Villa respectively?

Possible answers:
A1: They suck.
A2: Because they did not win.
A3: Because they did not lose.

..

Actually, I think it's all of the above.

Okay that was rubbish. I think I shall watch Bolton vs Tottenham.

Be brave, go around and stare at people!

It is as usual on the public transportation that i thought about staring at people. I was staring hard at this malay guy. I can't remember whether it was because of something on his face or because of his mat outfit, but i was staring hard. Then he suddenly looked back at me and stared hard. At first I thought he wanted to pick a fight with me. Only when he finally looked away that i realised his eyes were like some goldfish, swiveling around, then staying steady and then swiveling around again.

But even if he wanted to pick a fight, i had the perfect rebuttal. "IF YOU NOT STARING AT ME THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW I'M STARING AT YOU". I'm sure we can use that anytime anyone wants to pick a fight due to a staring incident. And logically speaking, it is the most correct answer. Surprise the ah beng who wants to pick a fight with you and watch him stutter as he realises he has been staring at you for as long as you had at him. That's if he doesn't kill you first. But i still think its a smart alecky way of facing the situation. At least die thinking you're right.

Relax Week

There is a lot of irony with the school and the RJC 26th Students' Council.

Unless you have been walking with your eyes closed for this week, or you've been ponning school four days in a row (good choice) or have basically been passive to your surroundings, I'm glad to inform you that it is RELAX WEEK in RJC. Time for you to RELAX!!

No, who can we possibly kid. I'm pretty sure more and more people around school are getting stressed up. The irony (Fe-y) lies in the fact that Chemistry Week coincides with Relax Week. Like WHAT THE HELL! The ideas of Chemistry and Relax are so.. polar. They are like electrons repelling each other. How can you have Chem Week and Relax Week on the same week?

There you go. The irony of RJC.

But Chemistry Week aside (with me successfully completing all the Chemistry crosswords ftw), Relax Week probably doesn't have the effect that the councillors might want to achieve. Okay I say this in the viewpoint of a councillor, so no doubt it might be a bit biased. Because I bet the Relax Week Comm wouldn't be very relaxed either, setting up rooms and all for the relaxation of fellow students.

But I do have this inclination to offer suggestions - which I will only do so here and not anywhere else because I doubt the Council takes kindly to include in their minutes the sort of trash I'm going to produce now. I can assure you, however, that this quick-fix solution is going to make everyone very relaxed. So there.

First up, WHY IT ISN'T RELAXING:

ONE: The AVPR where all the para para machines and the Xboxes are too far away to be convenient for students to go there and have fun. Face it, relaxation does not come from walking all the way from the canteen (focal point of the school undoubtedly) to Block A. Plus it doesn't help the gay Chinese men from the construction site just opposite the road are staring at you as you prepare to go relax yourself in the room.

TWO: The Med Room is badly named because who on earth would want to meditate outside curriculum time? True, meditation is taken as a viable option at times, but only during Maths or Chemistry or Physics or Biology lectures. Actually, any lecture. Outside of lectures most people would either want to sleep or just slack. If you want quality sleep, what you want is to be able to sleep in peace. They should just freaking take the councillors on duty OUT of the rooms. Which helps both sides because a) without councillors, no one's watching you so you can sleep. imagine being watched while you sleep! wth! and b) councillors also won't have to stress doing bloody stupid duties. Case proven.

THREE: There's still classes. Even though RJC has got 19 golds from school nationals, evidently the administration does not think that's bloody enough to warrant at least a half-day or a No Morning Assembly like we had in RI. Hell, last time Mario (Mr Wong) had a nice time calling holidays and learning how to celebrate victories. According to a certain unnamed RJC PE teacher other schools with 6 golds are already declaring a day off just so they could relax. In RJC you get your Relax Week while having H3 Maths up to half past six. Now you wonder who's doing a half past six job in trying to get everyone to relax.

Now this would be MY PROPOSAL for RELAX WEEK:

1) Let's be realistic, we can't call off a week of school, so let us do away with Friday. This way at least I can blog through the night like there's no tomorrow. Friday is a day of relaxation, and so we should not be stressed with the burden of school. For those who thinks it's near promos and wants to mug, councillors will be allocated to confiscate mugging materials before they (=the muggers) go home on Thursdays. Muggers will definitely bring their notes everywhere. That way, they will have no choice but to relax on their off-day. Cruel, but yet relaxing.

2) Get the bloody machines at the canteen and tell the ice cream man to go to the stadium. Games should be done at the canteen so there will be a relaxing atmosphere. Like I'll buy my food, sit down at the table and watch any total jackass trying to dance his way to para para fame. Then it also provides entertainment and amusement for all the students chomping away on their food. Especially if, as mentioned earlier, the guy is a total jackass AND especially lousy at the game. Humour is the way to better living, so let's have games at the canteen please.

3) Cushions at LTs, NOT at obscure rooms that no one's going to go. See, they just got this whole load of councillors to bring this whole load of cushions to school but it's under-utilised because you have to go to some deserted faraway seminar rooms to make use of it. If you put it at LTs, it will definitely be put to good use. Students seeking sleep during lectures will have it their way. And councillors should be responsible to ensure that the lecturer does not scold a student for sleeping. After all, it's Relax Week and relaxation is of utmost importance. (Doesn't apply to Chem Week though - that's just the way things work.)

4) Chase the librarians/fagut teachers out of the bloody library and let's have a party in there every day. Okay I've longed to get this out of my chest because let's all be frank with each other, RJC library is perfect for Counter Strike. Like REAL LIFE Counter Strike. The circular structure and the stone steps make it lovely to run up and down wielding a gun. And for virtual gamers, the computer stations down there should be nice to play CS too. Let's take over the library and chase out those silly women who believe that libraries are meant for mugging and reading. Sometimes you gotta learn to let go. Since this is Relax Week, the library should not be a library but a SANCTUARY. Now this is uber fun I feel like hijacking the place tomorrow.

5) NO TESTS. Very important. Because I failed Econs today and I do not wish the same thing to befall on any other unlucky soul who is taking a test this week. Even if you are damn smart, Relax Week is Relax Week and so no one should take any chances of failing tests. Tests are stressful by nature anyway.

6) NO HOMEWORK. Enough said.

Then of course there are many others more I'd love to list and I'd love to continue on but this is all fantasy. And there's Chemistry tutorial due tomorrow so I'm getting out of my dreamworld now. I hope that the next Students' Council will seriously consider my suggestions. If not I'm going to take over the world myself. Well, at least RJC.

RELAX!

Bring it on!!

Oh well I think I'm on a roll.

Like I'm sitting on a roller chair now anyway but well.

Today my friend was trying to be funny. Actually I was trying to be funny first because I was telling him that CH₃ was an electron-withdrawing group because I frankly and very sincerely believed so. Granted, since I haven't updated for very long I might as well update you now. My Chemistry percentile for the level was 11%. No kidding, this one is nothing but the truth, proving what a Chemistry n00b I am.

But there is always room for change. So I started bickering a bit. Y is me and M is my friend.

Y: Alkyl group not electron-withdrawing my foot la!
M: You (censored), go check your notes!
Y: I don't have my (censored) notes with me now, but I AM DAMN SURE IT IS ELECTRON WITHDRAWING OKAY.
M: It's saturated.
Y: Saturated, so? Because it only has single bonds means it is in desperate need in making more bonds.
M: *getting flustered and frustrated*
Y: Anyway saturation doesn't matter. You're just dumb.
M: *shouting by now* BEFORE I TAKE A GUN OUT AND SHOOT YOU..
Y: You'd have to find a gun first.

I'm afraid RJC is a much more dangerous place that you can imagine. Now I'm thankful for Singapore's security. Oh well time for some sleep. I heard sleep improves your temper by a lot.

Cyclohexane's Dilemma

CYCLOHEXANEEEEEEEE!!

First, let me apologise to all our fanatical readers out there demanding an update. I just got released today like electrons coming from a CH₃ group. I was contained, confined and condemned for the past three weeks where I have not been allowed to post. Oh well, I do owe all of you an explanation. But being the fagut who refuses to pay up his class funds, I like to delay payment for explanations as well. Give me a day or two to clear my mind first.

Second, I'm going to post something stupid today. It's a total cock-and-bull story that just cropped up in my mind without inspiration from anywhere. Considering that I haven't been talking cock for quite a while (not here anyway), I figured I'd give you some bull as well. I repeat, this idea did not come from anywhere. It's just random thoughts delocalised in my head.

Third, I begin my post. I'm sorry but this will have to be without pictures because I HAVE BEEN LIVING IN A PICTURELESS WORLD in the past few weeks and was forced to draw my own, so now if you want a clearer picture of what on earth I'm talking about.. draw it yourself.

Now on to the main topic. Cyclohexane.

Let's assume there are three guys and three girls. (Not very difficult to assume, so don't say you can't.) The guys, like your silly unnamed chemical compounds, are labelled A, C and E. The girls, on the other hand, are named B, D and F. Doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

So it's Valentine's Day and Guy A wants to ask Girl B out for dinner (ooo that's so romantic!!) but Girl B finds that Guy A mugged too much Chemistry that he's spilling it all over his blog posts and she's pretty disgusted by that. Yep and even though it's six months from this year's Valentine's and another six months to next year's Valentine's (waiting is painful), the girl does not fancy his blog posts about Chemistry. And thus she wants to reject him.

BUT girls being girls, have to be nice and cannot reject Guy A in the face. So it was time to think of an excuse. She said that Guy C (a new constant who's got nothing to do with Chem) had already asked her out for dinner. Meaning she can't go out with Guy A as well because she's run out of valence electrons to bond with them both at the same time.

Thus it's a no-go, right? The tricky part is that she hasn't asked Guy C whether HE would like to go out. When Guy A walks away disappointed, she went to ask Guy C if he would go out to dinner with her so as to make it look as if she didn't lie. Oh well. And if you didn't guess it by now, Girl B secretly likes Guy C.

At this point I reiterate that no part of this post is inspired by real life events. Unless you consider Chemistry Tutorial 12 a real life event.

Okay then like all sad love stories Guy C doesn't like Girl B because he, uh, finds Girl B too stupid for the likes of his mathematical brains. He instead decides to go after Girl D, a Geper who's topped the cohort. But before he's got a chance to ask Girl D he's got pre-empted by Girl B. So he wriggles his way out by saying that he's already got a date though he hasn't asked Girl D. Something like what Girl B did.

And as you can guess, Girl D preferred intellectuals like Guy E so the vicious cycle happens again. DO YOU GET IT? Like B lies to A and wants to go out with C but gets jacked because C is supposedly going out with D but gets jacked because D supposedly is going out with E but gets jacked because E is supposedly going out with Girl F and you know it. So I shall not bother explaining.

And as the title suggests, cyclohexane goes round and round. Thus, Girl F decides to go for Reject Guy A.

A, although already rejected, is not a despo so he says no to F. But like every other nice person he has to seem nice to he says he's already going out with Girl B, which we all know was a bloody lie but well, the truth hurts. So anyway he lies. And by now you'd have figured out that all the bloody six people there are freaking liars, so in actual fact no one should go out with no one of such poor moral character.

Still, the problem remains. Now that they are all locked with delocalised dreams of going out with their dream date, what is going to happen next? Girl F doesn't like Guy E because she thinks Guy E is a liar (well probably), Guy E doesn't like Girl D because he thinks she's too smart, Girl D doesn't like Guy C because she thinks he's too stupid, and etc.

I can't exactly remember all the reasons now, and pardon me if I type "Girl C" or "Guy D". In cases of errors, just freaking read the top part and remember A, C and E are guys while B, D and F are girls.

Okay. So according to TCS's Law of Cock, we propose three things happen from here.

1) Law of Least Repulsion
Guy A, being the initiator of the cyclohexane structure that he's now tangled in, has to take the responsibility for breaking it up for dinner. So even though he wants Girl B, he might be willing to settle for half and take Girl F out for dinner. Okay maybe he's a despo. Which would lead to Girl F's dreams coming true and thus Guy E will have to settle for Girl D and Guy C gets Girl B. Essentially not what he wanted.
Conclusion: Law of Least Repulsion favours girls (2,4,6-directing) as the boys all end up going to dinner freaking unhappy.

2) Law of Most Electrophilic
This law states that when a guy wants electrons, he gets electrons. So Guy A the despo bugger keeps bugging Girl B all day to find out if her date has been cancelled, which essentially cannot be since it didn't exist in the first place. Girl B initially was hesitant to reply but on thinking that she would have to spend V Day lonely without Guy C, eventually has to comply. Because the opportunity cost of being caught out in a lie would almost be too embarrassing for her. So okay, she goes out with Guy A and now Guy A is happy. F, being unable to get A, will have to make do with E and now as you can see, the women just don't get it.
Conclusion: Law of Most Electrophilic favours guys (1,3,5-directing) as the girls all end up going to dinner wondering why the hell are they out with this idiot.

3) Law of Spontaneous Combustion
They find that everyone's lying and suddenly there's a whole lot of temper going around. Then the cyclohexane just explodes (combusts) to form an alkene elsewhere, while the free radicals are left to roam in UV light instead of a romantic candlelight dinner. Quite sad but possible if you ask me. Nowadays running away is the best solution, of course apart from potassium permanganate which is a lovely purple in colour.
Conclusion: Worst case scenario, because probably all of them will be unhappy.

So from all three scenarios, have we a lesson to learn?

From the Law of Least Repulsion (LLR), three gets unhappy. From Law of Most Electrophilic (LME), another three gets unhappy. Then from the Law of Spontaneous Combustion (LSC), six are unhappy. Either way, you notice that not everyone is content?

SO THIS IS WHAT YOU DO.

1) Don't ask anyone out on Valentine's Day so you won't be disappointed. You can't feel disappointed if you didn't have any expectations in the first place.

2) Don't. Bloody. Lie.

Yes so that is the Cyclohexane's Dilemma. For non-Chemistry students, I'm so sorry but as there is no Chemistry between us (ya like those stupid lame Chem jokes around school), there is no choice but to start taking H2 Chemistry NOW!

This post is not in conjunction with RJC Chemistry Week by the way, it's just a random post to fill up the empty orbital that we call Talk Cock Summit.

All right everyone. We are back. =)

WE ARE BACK!!!!!

George Bush is Bullshit

The thing about public transport is that once in a while, there is always something interesting, even if it means you have to tolerate many hours of mundane stuff first. Today something interesting did happen.

So i was taking the train to bishan and at the orchard stop all the cool people got off because orchard is such a cool place. That doesn't leave many people on the train which finally allowed me to get a seat. Then I noticed this guy 2 seats away from me. He looked like an intellectual beggar. Seriously. He looked dirty. But he had spectacles which made him look intellectual. And a whole bag full of newspaper cuttings which he proceeded to take out. he looked as if he was reading them. then he crushed them into paper balls. In the process, he talked to himself, of course. otherwise it would be difficult to classify him as a lunatic.

Just when the train was about to reach bishan and i thought there was nothing new to be observed about him, he suddenly stood up. i thought he might alighting at bishan. Because he might be a lecturer at RJC or something. But no. he proceeded to take out a stack of booklets and handed them out to everyone on the train. Being a model rafflesian with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, i decided to take one as well.

And the title of the booklet was "George Bush is bullshit" by a certain Dr. Alsagoff. A booklet dedicated to the peace-loving people of the world, which obviously includes me. But the contents were basically rantings against george bush. In fact, its format was more like an angsty blog than a logical argument.

According to talkcocksummit's stringent marking criteria for general paper, i would definitely give him and A++ because he talk so much cock. Further more, got no elaboration no example. There was a pict of him at the back of the booklet, and he certainly looked more like a patient than a doctor.

unfortunately, i lost the booklet so i can't show it to all of you.

Dragon Tiger Gate

This movie is like most other Chinese movies. promising and entertaining at the start and then it sort of fizzles out. But the distinctive feature of this film is that it is a very hairy movie. All the main characters have long hair in the same style. hair so long they always have to flick it away. That's why most of the scenes are on the rooftop. So that they can have the wind to blow the hair to one side so that we can at least see the faces instead of them being like sadako.

Which only goes to show one thing: To be good at kungfu, first you have to make your hair grow.Then you can start practising. And after that you climb up a mountain and ask for help. You miraculously gain some new skills to fight the bad guy with. And the bad guy is so good he actually gives a pill to save the hero so that the hero can kill him. Everyone appears to gain their kungfu skills magically. Bad guy gets killed. The End.

Manners

Primary 2 好公民

爸爸的姐妹叫姑姑
妈妈的姐妹叫婶婶
爸爸的哥哥叫叔叔
妈妈的哥哥叫舅舅

My way

爸爸的姐妹叫auntie
妈妈的姐妹叫auntie
爸爸的哥哥叫uncle
妈妈的哥哥叫uncle

Confirm no mistake. Sorry for the lack of posts but recently we've went bankrupt and paid our debts in terms of time as time=money. YH and YL are still in deficit I think - we'll try to update more frequently.

爸爸的爸爸叫公公
可是要叫就得叫大声一点
要不然他听不到
老人的耳朵不太灵活

Pressure pressure everywhere

Pressure is a part of everyday life. There is water pressure, vapour pressure, air pressure, all sorts of physical pressure exerting themselves on you. If you are weak, all these sorts of physical pressure can make you sick. But what we all suffer from is not physical pressure but mental ones.

A day in the life of a hardworking student: The day starts, and there is pressure to piss and shit and brush your teeth quickly such as to maximise sleep and study time. You go for lessons, and there is pressure not to fall asleep so as to understand the lecture. When the lesson ends, there is pressure to rush to the canteen before the crowds come in. During the tutorial, there is pressure to raise up your hand and answer questions intelligently so that the teacher has a good impression of you. During PE, there is pressure to play your hearts out for your class in the inter-class games. When you reach home, there is pressure to finish all your homework so that you can catch that favourite drama serial of yours. Then, there is pressure to revise your work so that you can go online and do clever stuff like read this blog. In addition, there is peer pressure for you to do your godamn Project Work, without doubt the most irritating subject.

Finally, at night, there is pressure to fall asleep as quickly as possible so as to be ready for the next pressurised day. Phew, what a day.

That sort of day

Sometimes you get so unlucky you start to laugh at yourself.

I woke up late in the morning when I was supposed to go to school early to play soccer with councillors - not that it was such a great prospect or anything, but any workout was to be better than no exercise. So of course I had to go. Plus without the World Cup on nowadays, any soccer was to be better than no soccer.

I hopped on the 56 bus and thought I wouldn't bother pressing the bell at RI since those security fags always lock the gate on Saturdays (5-day work week my arse). Well the bus went past the gate and OOPS how come it's open? The walk in the sweltering heat was a literal warm up to the soccer game, where it got even hotter.

The thing about Council soccer is that it wasn't very fun because we were playing full pitch - the FULL BREADTH of the pitch. Now if you ask "what's wrong with that", we were using the breadth as our length. If you still don't get what I mean, we're using half the pitch and playing eleven against eleven. That was ultimate gay because it's too small and if you study the particulate theory of matter (which you probably do because it's damn basic Physics), same number of particles in less space = more effective collisions.

More effective collisions tend to raise the temperature of the game. In the end I guess we had more than a few disgruntled players effing away at the stupid conditions we were playing at. Cramped and hot, it seemed like Sauna @ RJC.. with another 21 aspiring perspiring councillors with you. Wonderful isn't it.

Oh and when the soccer match ended, so did my parents' session with the teacher. If you'd recall my post yesterday, today was Parent-Teacher Meeting. The timing was so perfect and so exclusive that the moment I walked to the canteen after sauna soccer I saw my parents and had an invite to sit down.

Well we had a little chat about my not-so-existent future, and about my existent not-so-distant future which was to change a lot. I told you it was one of those days this just had to happen. And in the afternoon I told myself that I was going to do my Chemistry homework. So I took it out, placed it on the TABLE mind you and started reading about the (Periodic) table on the table.

If you thought I was being industrious and hardworking, the fact was that I was trying my best not to sleep so I just studied random stuff. Like Periodic Table. But the thing is despite having tables on tables I ended up NODDING OFF. Like what the hell la.. and the worst part of it was that when I woke up I stuck out my hand and oops I hit my glass of water and suddenly everything seemed crystal clear to me.

Luckily I wasn't dreaming. Or my dream would be.. (never mind)

And my Chemistry notes all were in anhydrous state. Bloody lone pairs all over my Chemistry worksheets, I decided to stop everything altogether. In that sort of day, nothing gets done.

I turned on the computer and went to Miniclip after a long absence, having not visited the site since Sec 2 computer games where in an attempt to be a half-baked rebel, we played Java/Shockwave games on Miniclip just to spite Tony Lee the IT Head who surfed porn in the comfort of his office. Well, there seemed to be this new game called "World Cup Soccer". Sounds exciting. I clicked on the link.

Being "that sort of day", you probably would have figured out by now I didn't go very far. Certainly not the finals, nor the semis, nor the quarters. Oh no, I couldn't even get past SELECTION OF TEAM. Because somehow when I clicked "Germany" repeatedly the damn thing would not register. Same goes for any other team.

I suppose it was a sign to get back to my work, but being that sort of day, it wasn't to be.

So I'm blogging here. And here's the end of "that sort of day".

Who said we can't have fun?

I'm still secschick after so long - secondary school sick, the syndrome that you get after playing violently in your classrooms in secondary school and having a realisation hit upon you that suddenly the school isn't quite your playground.

But opportunities are always around, and when Fridays come by I found substitutes for my usual activities in secondary school. Like how you have substitute goods for different goods, I applied the Economic concepts to daily life and poof, even though the PED might be less than 1, I still derive some satisfaction at the newly-invented games I have.

Go try them out someday, perhaps you'll like it.

Canteen Table Tennis (sub for Gryphon's Lair Table Tennis)
A simple but delightful game involving the use of, well, two table tennis bats and a ball! Then of course you need two hardcore table tennis enthusiasts willing to play anywhere, because the canteen is not a very easy location to play in. H3 Chem students streaming out of their lectures were slightly amused at the prospect of us punting balls to each other's sides, but I bet they were jealous.

The rules are as per table tennis rules. Just that you should avoid smashing any balls because you might find that it might end up in the Stall 5 noodle soup along with fishballs and very unfortunately, table tennis balls are hard on the surface and hollow inside. I doubt that would make a very good meal. But it's a delightful sport, absolutely. You'd be daft to miss this one.

And a little modification is always welcome. If you can't hit the table, hitting the bench where you sit on is all right as well. Sometimes for noobs we also allow air balls (ie like badminton doesn't have to hit the table/bench) and long shots. If you love punting balls all over the place, NO LIMITS is for you. Once again, you'd be daft to miss this one.

Parade Soccer (sub for Violent Soccer)
Well this is one very poor substitute for the electric atmosphere of Violent Soccer but hey, this is RJ you know. Not very easy to come up with games, especially without classrooms. Using a tennis ball for a soccer ball (yes this game emphasises control), you play on the parade square with very small goal areas. Good practice for accuracy and nimbleness. Can try playing on different grounds, since the parade square is more or less divided into three.

The first is the main ground where the flags are, and arguably the most tiring ground because it stretches all the way to the tennis courts. But you get a panoramic view of Toa Payoh and it just takes your breath away while you're trying to dribble past a defender or a Zidane who's literally trying to take your breath away by knocking it out of you. Using his head.

The second is the "sub" parade square, just down the steps from the main, and leading to H block. That one is slightly more exciting, and the view is not bad too. Can watch basketball training but focused soccer players won't notice them. The third is just some obscure ground a few steps away from the "sub" parade square. Let's just call that "Noob's Ground". Being of the smallest pitch area of all three, this pitch doesn't really test your stamina at all. Still, its nice and cosy atmosphere makes people want to play there.

Least of all me. Just don't try to act smart and kick the ball down. Then it's going to be a painful long walk to get it. Try playing first to three wins, it's just exhilarating.

Council Soccer (sub for Violent Soccer)
To continue the soccer series, here's another variation you could try. The venue is the area just outside the council room, where two chairs are located. The idea is to actually make the ball go through the chair's legs, though variations could be implemented.

Dustbins could be placed on both ends, and any hits on the dustbins would warrant a goal. It's not easy, and it takes a great deal of effort rounding the idiot (50% chance it's a councillor) guarding one silly bin and err.. it takes skill to score. Plus the excitement is upped when the stones used to hold down banners are placed on top of the dustbin. When you whack the dustbin, BANG, the stones will probably fly off the dustbin in a pretty violent fashion. I'd recommend it to you, just don't play in school uniform when teachers are around.

By the way, I passed my time playing Council Soccer before Chemistry CTs the next day. Okay that kind of explains my Chemistry grades, but let's not get to that.

Of course, there are many other games that I've yet to discover and some I'm lazy to type because after today's experimentation of the new games I'm really tired. Oh and plus there's PTM tomorrow and I'm all set to get into trouble woohoo! Thanks to my obsession with BW, that's precisely what I got for my CT grades hoo!

If you don't see how I got that W, say the word slowly and maybe you'd get a little enlightened. And my other subjects were pretty borderline as well, meaning they are mostly Excellents and Superbs. Okay I should stop ranting about all this.

Basically PTM = PREPARE TO (GET) MURDERED!!!!

Here's wishing everyone whose parents are going to meet teachers tomorrow, GOOD LUCK.

The clinic

It's not my fault I was late for H3 Maths today, I was forced to go to a clinic even though I wasn't sick. Quite the contrary, I was feeling fully fit and ready to swipe anyone down in my way. That's why I signed up for Fencing. (Actually more like BW not enough people LOL.) But next thing I knew, they said I have to go for clinic. Wa lau!

So no choice, went to the Fencing clinic to get whatever illness I had treated. Funny how I never knew I had some Fencing disease.

In case you don't know what Fencing is, I'd better put a picture here. It's some small crap I got off the net, but put simply it's two people in white carrying swords and err.. slashing each other. Actually I thought it looked like slashing, when from experience it's more like poking. Eh but don't let that put you off, it's very exciting sport okay.



There you go - from this angle looks quite violent contact sport, but unfortunately it's not.

Arriving promptly at four with another friend of mine interested to swipe some idiots in white (and actually those in blue, green, red and black as well), I immediately felt like a fish out of water. Or if you like, thrown off the fence into the deep end of the pool. Everyone who went there all were carrying blades, and the two of us were strolling into the hall in our PE attires like a bunch of nincompoops.

And not a very big bunch, either. Plus since we're unarmed and outnumbered, we just went into one corner to contemplate escape routes. In any case before long more people came in with their blades. Then I got really scared. Baskit I've never seen so many of these crazy long blades before (except maybe at the mat barber's) so I was damn 提心吊胆。I was about to run off (since they were going to start late anyway) when OH CRAP the clinic suddenly opened.

Like a patient, being patient, waiting to see a doctor but the doctor doesn't care. Then when the patient finally decided he's too scared to go in, the doctor comes out and invites him in. Some clinic.

The girl who talked to us was very friendly too.

"Go run 10 rounds around the field."

Wa I was damn happy and was about to run off shouting "YES MA'AM" because 1) at least that was my terrain and 2) I could go home after that exercise but..

"Just joking."

Argh. And it turned out we were supposed to do 2 rounds around the Hall. Feeling very excited about the first part of my treatment, I just jogged around very happily. I mean when you think of those super fit (sports season) people and the unfit fags doing Napfa retest outside, you can't imagine more joy than just doing two rounds around one silly hall.

Yay so I think I completed it in a record time of 27.41 seconds. Wonderful.

Treatment part two was much more psychomotor skills. We were asked to bend our knees and err.. move forward and backward. Having last done that more than two years ago (at some fencing trials in RI), I was looking like some clumsy oaf trying to bend my knee and move.

And if you think it's easy COME JOIN INTERHOUSE FENCING I TAKE YOU ON.

Then we did footwork, which was essentially moving forward and backward -.- and seriously I think those fencers should try out X-country training for one day and we'll show them what REAL footwork is. Because your foot really works like mad throughout training and at the end instead of "foot work" you'd be like "WOOT, FORK MY LEG HURTS".

Then treatment part three was just doing lunges. Another adaptation from X-country and it was quite deja vu doing all that crap again. For this one, I recommend that those X-country radicals come learn abit from the Fencing team. Why bother doing 100m lunges when you can do one, move a bit back and forth, then do another? At least there's variation and differentiation. Now the only thing left is the integration of these healthy habits into the X-country system.

I think I'm contributing a lot. Hmm.

But after a while the fencers realised their treatment wasn't getting rid of anything - so out came the blades and suddenly everyone was alive and more n00bs started to stream in. Notice the number of councillors from the House Directorate trying to form teams for interhouse. Sad cases man - joining for the sake of avoiding a walkover. I came because I had a passion for fencing.

The blades were pretty fun, because the fencers very cunningly arranged for someone to be our.. uh, target practice. As they always say, LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE, so I guess this treatment was best. Take turns to laugh at the poor sod getting jabbed and poked all over the place.

Well then as our treatment drew to an end, we got to know about the REAL DEAL (ie the competition next Tuesday). It was quite amusing, something about giving your opponent a salute before the match starts and when it ends. I was thinking if fencing was so violent at the end you think still have energy to salute?!! I made a resolution to hack down my opponents until at the end they can't return my salute.



Okay it's late and I'm talking rubbish as well as posting crap pictures. This picture is just another funny n00by ones I found on the net. Cute little kids starting to deal with weaponry. And apparently if you drop your blade once it's a yellow card, and twice it's a red card but OOPS unlike Zidane you don't get sent off, you only give your opponent one point.

NOW I THINK THAT IS A DAMN GOOD RULE!

They should apply it to soccer. Then maybe after that headbutt France would go down 1-2 to Italy. And then with Zidane around they might still have stood a chance to equalise. Then I wouldn't be called Puay Hock and I wouldn't be grumbling about those Italian mafia gangsters winning the bloody World Cup. Okay yes you can say that I'm ranting because I am.

And next time two red cards = one point for the other team. We don't need to be sent off. We just need the opponent to have a little more score to get the adrenaline pumping a little faster. So oh well. I guess that was all for the Fencing clinic today. I felt much better afterwards when I went for H3 Maths lecture.

All fired up for next Tuesday's competition! Yay BW FOR THE WIN!

(PS Have you ever thought why fencing is called fencing? It doesn't involve fences, there aren't many fans, and you certainly don't sing during the match (fans-sing AHAHAHA). And did you know British poet Robert Frost was a very famous fencer too? One of his quotes from his poems, "Good fences make good neighbours". Go figure. I'm done talking cock for tonight.)

Joke

Q: Why do we become stronger when we study mathematics?
A: Because there is strength in numbers!
wahahaha

Shit happens even at RJC

Well, well, well.. after having no inspiration nor any motivation to post about anything or everything, a bloghopping session that I embarked on suddenly inspired me to post something wonderful. Actually, I wouldn't say it is a wonderful thing, because it is very smelly and it is very disgusting.

And unfortunately, this "it" is my classmate. And I had to bloghop onto its smelly blog. Somehow it needed help with html, and for those who do not know my classmate personally (and who should thank your lucky stars for that by the way), you could just know it as THE GUY WHO NEEDS HELP WITH HTML.

The "guy" part is debatable, but let me get on with my story about it. After all as a respected (okay actually hardly) citizen of the Republic of Singapore and ultimately the world, I must issue a warning, a caveat, un avertissement to warn you of the terrible pollution that is going on in the world nowadays. The threat is here, and the time is nigh. Shit has happened, and right in the middle of RJC, 07S07B.

Which very unfortunately, happens to be the place where I go to take attendance every morning.

Right. Back to the warning.

A few days back, our group had a short discussion on our GP topic. Basically GP being the non-content-based subject that it is, we were usually encouraged to have creative expression, hence a performance task was given to us in the hope that we were to stretch our creative juices. Such is the thing about RP - performance tasks are always in demand because it err.. cultivates the thinker, leader and pioneer. For non-Rafflesians reading this, do not think for a moment that I'm criticising my school.

I have entirely no intention of doing so. Let me give you a three line proof.
Good is not perfect. -- (1)
The RP system is good (okay maybe not, but let's assume). -- (2)
From (1) and (2), RP is not perfect. -- (3)

From (3), we know that the RP is not perfect. Doesn't take a genius to work out that simultaneous equation, a local retard from MINDS could figure that out. It is not the system that is bad, but the people who abuse the system are absolute fags and deserved to be condemned.

Now just for a little "eye candy", let me present you this shit that has irked me so much that I decided to take up 30 minutes of my Gunbound time to dedicate a post on TCS to it. After all, as TCS can stand for Talk Cock Summit, I don't see why it can't stand for The Condemnation of Shit as well. I AM HERE TO CONDEMN THAT LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT IN MY CLASS.

(PS Don't ask me to post it's name, it's too filthy to be put up here. Ignorance is bliss. If you don't know who is it, just take it that I'm slamming some shithead (which I am). If you know who is it that I'm talking about, you could start praying for divine intervention and hope that you'd never get an inch closer to it.)



Did you see how revolting that was? UGH.

It's a disgrace to everyone having the same first four letters for their name.

And shit (pun intended), I'm really digressing.

Back to where we were discussing about GP performance task. Our group happened to consist of three girls, one guy (I am a guy and I know it okay) and another sexless. I'm not going to say who's the sexless one, and don't ask me because I'm not going to say who it is. And don't assume that it's the shit that I'm referring to, because for all you know I might be tricking you. Make an intelligent guess.

I tried to contribute an idea or two into the group, but well with me being a cock-talker or a sullen fag I guess the group ultimately ditched all my ideas. Well I'm fine with that. Just that they were going to choose a topic that was going to be very. very. disturbing.

Actually no. Because our group decided to do on "Beauty" for Performance Task - which wasn't very disgusting innit? After all YL and I have held countless debates here talking about beauty, what's chio and what's not and despite our friendly banter that might go a little bit overboard at times, we make sure we talk about strangers that would probably have almost zero chance of reading the blog.

So we go for low risk, minimal damage. Even though we haven't been taught that in Econs, risk assessment is something I learnt from Council.

But well our group wanted to do "Beauty" the scientific way and define beauty. So like those silly planning experiments in the lab they decided to use me as a control. (ie they wanted me to dress up like a girl and compare me to a real girl. like wth)

.
.
.
.

Are you done laughing yet? I admit I found the idea very amusing at first, but not till I heard that I was going to have a scarf put on me, a tube (ZOMG!) and whatnot. I think it's very disturbing that I have to do this sort of crap for GP. Wearing a hairband or maybe clipping on some earrings was acceptable - but to do a total makeover and asking me to become a girl is like asking me to score full marks for Biology.

In case you didn't get that. I meant to say IMPOSSIBLE.

Well so I made my stand clear while sitting down having the discussion that I wasn't going to do any cross-dressing. The only sort of cross-dressing I would tolerate is dressing up for cross country - ie wearing PE kit okay that's 100% understandable. And I would do it.

But asking me to dress like a girl? You think Mao Zedong would kill all the non-Communists in the world? Would Germany win the 2006 World Cup despite them fully deserving to? Would we stop shitting in toilets or drinking water to sustain our lives? IMPOSSIBLE.

The shit, on the other hand, was particularly excited about the hubbub. It (note: not "he") said that it would gladly dress like a girl if I would cross-dress with it (that was about to make me vomit) and oh, one of the girl groupmates that I had suggested I could act gay with it.

Here's why I can't.
1) I'm not gay.
2) It's sexless. Do you ever recall your Bio teacher saying "this shit is male?" or "this shit is female?" Hell no. Eh wait I meant SHIT NO!
3) Because it's just violating human rights.

I almost vomitted at the prospect but since there was already shit in the class, I couldn't well pollute it with my vomit as well right? The stench would just kill everyone. But my point is: this girl was obviously crazy to suggest such a thing, and well the shit obviously had some electrons removed from his shitty skin and was in excited state about dressing up like a girl.

Well done, we were about to have our first female shit.

Despite my various protests, the group refused to budge on my not dressing up as a girl. And I refused to compromise my values as well. DUH WOULD YOU DRESS UP AS A GIRL JUST TO GET GP PERFORMANCE TASK MARKS THAT WAS GOING TO COUNT FOR NOTHING?

Let me tell you, only three categories of people would say "yes" to that question in bold.
1) Girls.
2) Gays/Transvestites.
3) Shits.

And err anyway I suffered 1.5 hours of shit with my groupmates desperately trying to get me to be a girl. Now let me tell you for now. I AM MAN AND I AM PROUD OF IT. You can say that previously I posted about how I wanted to try being a girl, but that was MENTALLY, not PHYSICALLY. I didn't go down Orchard Road sporting a dress. You might as well tell Hitler to stop killing Jews - and that's quite stupid because he's probably a few feet underground in a foreign land AND decomposed by now.

And I thought that after this GP lesson, all hell would be over.

But the shit, being the shit, had to make shit happen. And it posted this on the blog. What the shit.

QUOTE
last (finally): actually i read this yesterday but since i posted already couldn't be bothered. was reading YJ's post (did i mention the YeJie is a damn big SPOILSPORT? comeon lar, opportunity to nearly score full marks for a GP project and he's being so stubborn XD) about various scandals nearer CT's? i know the reason why. it's because ppl like us are gullible enough to respond to various pleas of help from others who like slack half the year and go "oh noes, please help this person in dire distress because i suddenly find i don't comprehend almost everything i read" and being the KIND people we are, we oblige, we teach, and sometimes, we manage to make them pass. and after the CT's (or promo's) it's back to "ok, exam over, to heck with the results, let's have fun" ALL the way until the NEXT exam period, where it's again "oh noes, we need help!" sigh. what to do?
UNQUOTE

For one, when I was doing that post, it was based on a real encounter with one of my friends. It's authentic and it's real and I had absolutely no thought of it when I was blogging that. After all, shit is shit and shit doesn't get girlfriends. Because.. damn just refer to above, shit is sexless okay. Shit can at best reproduce by binary fission, but I don't take Bio so I don't bloody know.

And anyway, that extract above already has a few fallacies. Even though with my uber suck Philo I could notice a few.

1) Hasty Generalisation - I was making a generalisation, and it was hasty into thinking that I was talking about it. LOL it always does that, it always thinks that the planets, the Sun and the moon all revolve round shit. Tell you what, my friend, actually shit is very common and it's a biological process that everyone goes through - YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT AT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE AND YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT WANTED. (flushing sound)

2) Slippery Slope - Just because you oblige and teach doesn't mean you are being kind. Actually, teaching others helps in your revision process as well. And some people (now notice I'm not talking about the shit, I said SOME PEOPLE) oblige and teach because they get so bloody lonely mugging by themselves and they just need someone to talk to aww. It's like they got no friends, so whoever comes by, whether they like it or not, these lonely people MUST TEACH MUST TEACH. Then proclaim themselves kind. Tsk!

3) Post Hoc - You teach them, they pass. Are they related? No they might not be. Refer to my previous posts about CTs, it's bloody obvious that CTs is all about luck. Especially if it's stuff like Econs where idiots like me can top the class (undeservedly, no doubt). So don't claim credit so fast, you little shit. You don't get credit for making others lucky, because luck is luck and it's either you have it or you don't. Unless you say you tutored someone in Chem or Maths and they passed that, then maybe you have a valid reason to claim credit. Otherwise, shut your crevice. Econs is all about luck.

4) Poisoning The Well - You cannot assume that whoever you tutored is (poor fella, by the way) has such a lackadaisical attitude towards his/her studies. You cannot say that he/she doesn't give a hoot about his/her studies at all. What do you think if he/she reads your blog? Some people just might not be as intellectually capable as you, and you should not look down on others for that. Everyone should be given a chance, and it's the (unfair) world's fault that some others take longer to revise something. BUT YOU KNOW THAT 勤能补拙, and one day you might find yourself outclassed. Like how I kicked your butt (shit-butt?) for Econs. Shut your crevice and don't poison the well with your disgusting self.

Now to the attack on me. Something like I'm a spoilsport and err, giving up on an opportunity to score full marks on a GP project? Firstly, it's assuming that we're going to get close to full marks for GP. That's dangerous, considering how cross-dressing might adversely affect the teacher's mood. She finds it in bad taste, then our group is doomed. And plus my pictures will be all over school and maybe up on Youtube. That sucks. And that's a real bad assumption.

Second, even if we do get high marks, is the cost worth the profit? The shit, being known to have a "head for Econs" (yea I didn't know shithead meant "head for Econs"), obviously does not get the idea of opportunity cost. My reputation will go down the drain, and people will start saying "there's 2 girls in your BW exco." And there will be 2 female house captains for the Batch of 2007 in RJC, and I'm so not relishing that prospect. But duh I'm the one cross-dressing so it's not affected. Bloody shit (pun intended yet again).

And third, don't call others a spoilsport for his personal values. You have no right to do so because I am a male and I'm proud of it. I'm not compromising any of my personal values for a bloody GP grade. Sure, you can fail me for my Performance Task, it's not going to affect my A levels. So much for being analytical, when shit happens everything goes down the loo.

That is all I have to say. I'm sorry for making you all read about shit and such a long entry and stuff, but well, shit happens. Even at RJC.

Some will definitely say I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. After all it's just one small paragraph and I'm wasting shitloads of time doing this for the sake of justifying my stand. Well there's the mental torture it inflicted on me for 1.5 hours of GP that day. Even though I might not appear affected, I am bloody traumatised by the attack of the shits.

So no, this is not a mountain built out of a molehill.

This is blogger's diarrhoea built up from a piece of shit.

French football fascination

Well it seems as if YL is busy ever since his correspondent arrived so you'd have to deal with my nonsense again. The above picture is not Photoshopped or Dreamweaved or Edited in any way. I just got it off from YL, who could have possibly done that, but given the nature of his computer skills..

..I doubt very much.

There has been much sorrow after the World Cup, people lamenting that there's no good footy on the TV to watch, and that's probably cos you don't count the S-League - which as the name suggests is a Substandard League. Suck League. Stupid League. Screwed League. Shitty League.

See - the lack of good football has made my temper bad. Plus with Sports Carnival coming up like the Track and Field days back in RI, I can foresee late nights coming up ahead without my local entertainment. At least last time the WC was on, I could just work up to 3am and turn on the TV to get some occasional entertainment watching.

Now uh, it's either horror movies or gay entertainment (variety) shows that aren't really entertaining because there's so much variety it's just random trash. You could say that TCS is also random trash, but well at least we're speaking in English. You don't often get much entertainment from Chinese unless you're talking about some loser who can't speak for nuts. Now that's funny.

Okay I apologise if I'm ranting about my sorry state, but nevertheless let us analyse the picture. As you can see Henry is holding Domenech's hands in a not-very-professional way, and they are staring into each other's eyes into a more-than-friends way.

I came up with a suggestion, "maybe Henry is suggesting that Domenech's tactics aren't good enough?"

YL sharply replied, "more like they're saying let's get married in Spain."

Ouch owned. I was like "why the hell Spain - did France not knock them out 3-1 in the Round of 16?"

YL: "Spain allow same sex marriages what."

"Well why not go to Holland then? They also allow."

Then as you can see the debate was going nowhere so I'm not going to post any more of this shit. But what the hell are the French up to? There are a few observations to be noted and a few lessons to be taken.

1) French are very passionate people - and they practise 爱屋及乌. When they love the football, they also love the people around it. Henry loves the French team, hence he loves the French manager. Love one, love all.

2) Domenech and Henry have a relationship and that's going to affect the French team. Look at the way Henry is shooting (and not scoring) and you'll know he's thinking about Domenech. Bloody idiot cost me my lunch money for the next day.

3) Europe's open society encourages gay relationships. The fact they did it openly and at such a grand event like the World Cup shows they are promoting homosexuality to the world. Now that's just wrong. I hope any little kiddies reading this blog aren't too affected by the picture, I should really password-protect it so only bigger children (like myself) and adults can read it.

And old people should be banned from here because they'd probably be drooling over their keyboards, which is disgusting and would spoil their keyboards at any rate. With computer shop owners becoming more and more bastard in their service attitude nowadays, it'll do good not to give them any more business.

And lessons to learn?

If you want to act gay, do it in the shower room. Don't do it where everyone can see it because some little bugger is going to take that photo, put it up on his blog and do a little analysis of his own.

Right that's it. Credit to YL for sending me this outstanding picture. I think it makes a great picture of the week, and should be the picture of the World Cup. World of Friends indeed, more like World of Gays. So much for French football fascination and the love of the game - the French have really proven to be overflowing with passion.

And err oops. I just realised YL is busy with his FRENCH correspondent (don't think sick).. maybe he could shed some light on such issues. Of course, the next step would be hoping that he doesn't read this blog. It would be disastrous to see me laughing at his countrymen.

Oh well, then TCS might be deprived of a chance to go global =S

Seen at Clarke Quay

There's this pub at Clarke Quay which provides really disgusting jokes but well, I figured it's cock enough to be posted here.

What's the similarity between Kodak cameras and condoms?
They both capture the moment. (wtf)

Here's to good wine, good songs and good women..
and may none of them be flat. (wtf again)

What do you do with 365 used condoms? (I was thinking who the hell would be so free as to collect 365 used condoms, and isn't it obvious you throw them away..)

The answer? Melt them all down, start making tyres with the rubber - and you call it GOODYEAR.

-.-" mannnnn I felt like some out-of-place punk standing right outside the pub reading these R-rated jokes. Plus I think the bartender was like "get lost you 16-year-old n00b we don't need the likes of you reading our dirty jokes" so umm. I left.

But not without visual recording. Hope you enjoyed those stupid little jokes.

IQ test

Your IQ Is 135

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Genius

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

(at http://www.blogthings.com/quickanddirtyiqtest/)

There! I knew I always had something special in me!

Well and as expected, because of my essay on illogical fallacies last time, the field of logic has come back to haunt me to give me a little less than sterling results. Oh well, since Maths and Chem don't make much sense and/or logic anyway, I shall look forward to topping the cohort when it comes to promos.

Refer to the last three segments haha. And I swear I didn't cheat for it.

(By the way I koped this off my Chem tutor's blog. Mr Wong hope you don't mind, if you even read this that is. Just a little bit of amusement before I start doing my err.. REMEDIAL ASSIGNMENTS.)

The sad truth is..

Well my friend and I were having a little discussion..

Let him be known as F, since that's what he's been getting for his CTs anyway. Assuming we don't follow the silly ABCDESU system, which I still find makes no sense. Are they trying to get people to form words with their grades?

The possibilities are endless - Baba is good, Beds aren't that bad, Case is all right, Dude makes you look like some dumb jock and Suss just simply means you suck. Of course, if you're not forming a word and you realise that your grades are full of vowels..

You can either be congratulated on being a bloody intelligent mugger (AAAA).

Or you can just go rot and die. Yes U, U, U, U!!!!! Not you then who!

Anyway we were having this little conversation. My name is YJ in case you've forgotten, since now the posts here are getting short and screwed. (The posts are) not quite sweet as I keep blabbering about CTs. But if you don't like it, don't read it and if you're smart then this isn't the place for you.

Now back to my conversation. I'm labelled as Y.

Y: In JC everyone's becoming buaya. I can easily spot five scandals in the (RJC) library on any given day, that's for sure.

F: Ya go JC got girls everyone very excited what.

Y: Bet most of them too free don't need mug. Go library also pretend to study only. Waste space I say.
(By now you're probably like "what's his problem" jealous is it. Well for the record no but I can be an idiot at times who likes to stir up trouble so there you go.)

F: Not true lor.. actually most of the couples get together during mugging period. When everyone studying then got the most scandals.

Y: I'm sure! People busy mugging what scandals are there to see?

F: Got lar.. my (older) sister say last time JC like that. Always near mugging season got alot of scandals.

Y: But mugging season usually is holidays la.
(Okay you'd probably know my GP is going to suck real bad. No sense of grammar at all.)

F: Promos won't be before holidays.. you wait and go look out for scandals la!

Y: I so free? I don't have so much time to look out for scandals man.

F: Ya you GO LOOK LAR. I tell you before exams a lot of people sure come together and mug, then the school sure have a lot of scandals one..
(He another GP suck.)

Y: That does make a bit of sense. But why people mug together got what use?

F: That's why lar! Scandalous mar.. you go look and you'll see lor.

Y: You think I'm so free? Before CTs I go look out for people's scandals for what!

F: Haha cos you have them yourself what.

Y: Rubbish la! I'm sure I have scandals.

[a more than slight pause]

Y: LOL I THINK I JUST REALISED SOMETHING!

F: What?

Y: ASSUMING YOUR THEORY IS CORRECT..

Y: THAT PEOPLE GET TOGETHER WHEN THEY MUG..

Y: THAT EXPLAINS WHY WE'RE STILL SINGLE!

F: (clearly amused) LOL

Okay~~ someone just showed me the light today on why 1) I failed CTs and 2) I'm still a proud member of the NGO, the No Girlfriend Organisation. In case you've forgotten what TCS is all about, you've always the header to remind you. Up till today I'm still a no-life loser hurhur.

Training tomorrow. No life again =)

E is for Excellent

General Paper is like some cheem topic that requires you to analyse the every fucking word in the question. So for example, here's one of the common test questions.

"Social change has diminished the importance of the family today" Discuss.

Which apparently killed some people because they didn't write according to what the question wanted.

Actually right, this is a trick question. You can never get your essay right if you attempt this question, because the keyword here is "today". That's the time frame you have to write about, that is to say, 24 hours. A typical essay will go something like:

Social change has diminished the importance of the family today. Today is a Thursday, so it ended late. Furthermore, today was a lecture day, and so it gave me a headache. i needed my family more than ever. Thus social change has not diminished the importance of family today. It might have yesterday, and it may tomorrow, but it has not today, the 14th of July 2006.

Therein lies the catch. Chances are the 'today' of which you write of in your essay will be different from the "today" when the teacher marks it. Therefore you will always be WRONG. So you know why you failed your gp.

Today i heard this phrase somewhere "father and mother with no children"
It's downright impossible. How can someone be a father or a mother if they don't have children?

Quote from my chem tutor wty: "Chem common test is like a game of chess, and studying the lecture notes is like mugging the rulebook." Words of wisdom indeed.
father and mother with no children

Recovering from shock

Before you start thinking that I've killed myself after the World Cup match or before you start calling me Puay Hock (some already did), I'm going to clarify that you need time to recover from shock.

As if France losing the WC wasn't bad enough, I failed Chemistry groggily on the same day when I went to school. I thought I saw it wrongly because of WC the night before - but hell no, as I discovered on Tuesday. So for those two days, I lived like a zombie trying not to accept either truth.

Actually the failing Chemistry truth wasn't that hard to accept. But the irony (Fe-y) was that I spent like, err.. THE MOST TIME MUGGING CHEM? And this is what I get. A wondrous U for Ultimate. While I hardly mugged Econs and oops, I suddenly am on course to get at least a C or a B.

It proves something - mugging damages your brain.

For all those who failed CTs and got such uber ultimately unrivalled results like mine, let us take heart in this defeat and learn from it. In fact, in circumstances of shock, I kept hearing a certain song in a certain way. Let me post the lyrics up here.

I believe the original was sung by Ronan Keating. The song's called When You Say Nothing At All.

This is MY new version - suited to RJC's context. Enjoy please.


WHEN YOU MUG NOTHING AT ALL
(from YJ to all CT failures, chin up. it's not the end of the world.. there's still promos to fail. and if by then you still haven't got enough for it, there's A levels. I personally wouldn't like to try that though haha)

It's amazing how you think that I'm so damn smart
With long boring lectures, it's the tutors that suck
Try as I may I can never explain
What it means by electrophilic addition.

CHORUS
The frown on your face lets me know that I've failed Chem
There's a truth in your eyes saying that I'll never pass Chem
The touch of your hand says you'll never, ever pass at all
You mug it best... when you mug nothing at all.

All day long I can hear your voice blaring out loud
But as you lecture me, I don't know what's it about
Try as I will I can never define
My notes are blank, and so is my mind..

CHORUS

You mug it best... when you mug nothing at all.


Words of wisdom.

Penalties

I admire Zidane. He must have a fever hotter than YL to commit such a hot-headed offence.

Some captain he is.

But anyway we're now down to penalties.

Given the circumstances that teams perform better in adversity - like the screwed up Italian logic that they play better given the scandals back in their country..

France will win the penalties. Even if the logic is screwed up, the French players are not.

FRANCE DON'T WIN MY NAME PUAY HOCK.

Extra time 16:27

They put in Trezeguet and Wiltord.

6 years ago at Euro 2000, Wiltord equalised against Italy while Trezeguet scored the winner in extra time. Of course now there's no golden goal, but the ball's golden so the same logic applies.

France sure to win.

79:18

Okay look carefully at both teams.

Italy's wearing blue, France's wearing white and the ref's wearing red.

It's a sign I tell you. And I've noticed it with only ten minutes left.

France The Winners.

Italy vs France

Okay something went wrong the other time I did a review. Let's just say Germany were unlucky - and anyway today I'm going to find some better reasons to present to you why Italy is just not good enough to win the World Cup.

Actually, neither is France, but France will beat Italy to take tonight's cup. The reasons are slightly stronger this time.

1) Germany and Italy were partners in crime and both kena raped after World War II. However, France was part of the Allies and that means they kicked Italy's arse. Thus tonight good will again triumph over evil.

2) France will win because I say so.

I learn not to give long reasons, like the other time Germany had so much reason to win but they still failed to deliver (unlucky, I call it). Still, I'm pleased for their 3-1 demolition of Portugal. Face it, Portugal never really had a chance, the bunch of cheaters. Especially when Cristiano Ronaldo plays with that attitude of his.

So in the morning I didn't bother watching the match. And when I woke up at eleven, I began to loaf around waiting for the replay to start.

I kept myself occupied by playing Rover..


Somewhat like Pacman only it requires more skill and you play it on the interactive TV. That's one good thing about having this interactive TV thingies.. you get to kill time without moving off the couch.

Then I decided to read the papers to check out who was favoured - Italy or France. To be entirely honest, after Germany's loss to Italy I simply boycotted the papers for a few days because I was so bloody upset. You should know why - as I stated in my previous post in the semi-finals I'm a half-German.

And it occurred to me that I'm a half-French too. I have their passion for being slack about things, and their traditional screwed-up procrastination of handling things (like DELF certificates) is an evident trait in myself. I like being disorganised like them. Then the similarities end - because the French are friendly and uh, very passionate lovers. I haven't discovered that side of myself if I have one. So I'm still a half-French.

Oh that gives rise to a third reason.

3) Both France and Italy are well-known for being passionate lovers. In the case of France, it's really romantic. But in the case of Italian lovers, they are more well-known as HOT-BLOODED (like YL having a fever..?) lovers and end up committing passions of crime like MURDER!!!

Which in any case might seem out of point but not so if you think about it carefully. Why play soccer? It's because of a love of the game. Italians try committing crimes of passion in soccer, more likely they'll get red-carded. Anyway I was reading the ST articles about how ill-disciplined both sides were.

Check this out:

Not very good eh. Italy with 32 dives and France with 28 tantrums (all top frags and top fags). Italian team freaking playing the wrong sport - they should come join the aquatic team at Toa Payoh Swimming Complex. And it's no secret that they cheated against Australia to come this far. Boo.


Fair Play Index - Italy coming in second with 40 points behind Paraguay who deservedly got knocked out, while France is nowhere to be seen in the list. Which is good, by the way. I support fair play.

And exciting play too! So leave your nails nice and long like mine, because what you really want is a nail-biting final. Some say the finalists don't deserve their place - but since they are there, they are there. Of course following the ST report, it seems as if both teams play dirty. And in an ideal world, we have no place for dirty teams.

So start imagining the ideal scenario, Italy and France both play damn dirty in the finals. Italy try to find gold in Olympiastadion, while the French throw tantrums at the referees. Okay then both teams will have four players sent off right at the same moment, resulting in both finalists being losers.

THEN GERMANY IN THIRD PLACE CAN LAY CLAIM TO THE WORLD CUP! YAY!

Since both finalists lost anyway.

But that's your ideal situation, and we all know the world is far from ideal. If not why do you think those Italian w**kers are still here today?

In any case, they are. And let me tell you now even though I'm not cutting my nails, I'm all for France. The simple reason being that I take French, and err also because the Italians knocked out the Germans. Thus it's PAYBACK TIME. Okay.

I pledge my allegiance to the French football team, and so beyond my uncut nails there's the french tricolour.


VIVE LA FRANCE!!

And if you have problems reading the letters, I'll give you a bigger version.


It reads F, T and W. Contrary to what you think, it doesn't stand for "for the win". Even though that's what it usually means in original context. It doesn't stand for "f*** the world" either, because when you win the World Cup, you gotta be thankful to the world that provided the Cup.

Tout simplement, FTW stands for FRANCE THE WINNERS!

Allez les Bleus!
France shall be victorious and win the World Cup!

*And quite befittingly I have French lessons later today from 5:30pm to 7:30pm.. I'm pretty sure the teacher won't mind if I sleep in this one. =P

I'm hot!

Today marks a very special day. The day I'm hot, and i'm hoping it doesn't continue. I've set a personal record of 38.6 degrees celsius for my body temperature. I bet that's hotter than any of you out there. I have a sore throat, a runny nose, a headache that causes my brain to feel fried.

This after two days of diarrhoea, where water comes out of your asshole instead of the usual place. The farting continues non-stop, but what comes out is simply a poisonous gas because there's nothing out to pass out anymore. And you always the get the feeling that something's stuck in your ass and if you shit any harder, your guts are going to come out anytime. This continues until all the water has been extracted from your body into the toilet bowl.(Or your pants, if you still insist on going out.) This is the real concept of wasting water. Straight down from your mouth into the toilet bowl.

But the funny thing about a fever is how it makes you feel cold even when the weather is so hot. Maybe this can be developed into some new technology to help the people of hot countries. Wouldn't it be funky if you felt cold on a hot summer's day? this would drastically reduce the need for air-conditioning and results in a lower electricity bill for the country.

Another advantage of this danged flu is the runny nose. If any enemies are in hot pursuit of you, such as your parents when they see your common tests results, you can turn your head back and release a potent cocktail of green gooey stuff to stop them in their tracks. What if they slip and fall into your stuff? Hilarious. The oft-used banana peel has a worthy successor.

According to the doctor, the flu is very very contagious and you ought to stay at home. But why? Spread the joy to your most deserving enemies, all the while saying that you're simply hardworking. After all, who knows what other advantages a flu has, because everyone has been concentrating on its negative aspects. As the good ol' doc told me," Every time you succumb to a disease and then you recover, your immune system goes up a notch". Comforting words indeed. Except that i seem to fall sick again after every illness.

Maybe the flu enlarges the brain. That's why i feel the headache, because my brain is straining against my skull. I'll come back to school a much smarter person(hopefully). Maybe i'll grow taller too, at least that's what my mother told me, and mothers are never wrong. After all, heat makes things expand, so my bones will expand thanks to the fever and then be fixed permanently bigger. And of course it gives you something to talk cock or whine about. Be sure to add a bit of spice, such as " My flu was so serious that I flu away". Laugh, dammit. The possibilities are endless.

Grading systems

Getting back CTs aren't fun anymore.

There's no reason to be saying "Duck, I missed my GPA 4.0 by 1 mark" or "no more GPA 2.8 average so I can't take H3" - because now you are at JC and OOPS. No more GPA system!

Only one crappy system with ABCDESU. Kind of stupid, don't you think? Instead of ABCDEF and finally GG for the crappers who know **** all about the topic, they decide to make life difficult and substitute F with S and GG with U.

When combining into one sentence, it's a..
F***ing Stupid grading system which is not GoinG to work for yoU.

So as a cock-talker looking to improve everyone's life, we propose that you make the ABCDESU work for yourself. If you're going to change the system, change it completely ftw please. We don't need half-baked systems and ABCDESUs. You want to change grading system, change the way it's graded too.

Here's what I propose:

A (Atrocious) - ...who the hell told you to score so high? Why did you get so many marks out from the paper?! What's wrong with leaving blanks and letting the teacher have an easier time marking? You're obviously a weirdo who does not go according to humanitarian laws and slacker rules. Making the top grade in the old RP is a good thing, but to do it in RJC is simply insulting and irritating in a world of asses (S's) and yoos (U's). Go away, you're atrocious.

B (Bloody) - You are slightly better than those muggers scoring As, but not by much. You disappoint your friends by abandoning them. When your classmates fail, you all fail together to promote class bonding. Since averages are always at E and S, your scoring B is going to adversely affect class relations. You're one bloody bugger or if you'd like, a bad bastard. Don't treat your friends so badly, fail with them next time please.

C (Crazy) - This result is nuts. It certifies your attainment of a certain (unacceptable) level of knowledge. Of course, as the deviation from the average is not as bad as the As or Bs, you are entitled to a grade that might have positive connotations. Crazy does not mean "bad" - it means that you're insane but perhaps striving hard to be part of the (failing) crowd but you're not succeeding yet. Keep it up though, just mug less for a week or two and you're guaranteed to see results. Failing results, that is.

D (Disgusting) - Well all I can say about you is that you're trying even harder than the Crazies, but your disability to reach the average scores is disgusting. Certainly, some would say the "Crazies" are those who are naturally smart, so they get that one grade higher. Those who are at the D-level are kind of doomed since they're in the middle of nowhere. Not irritating enough to be public enemy number one, yet not close enough to joining the masses. You're Disappointing, I Declare.

E (Excelling) - Moving further down, I think we've finally hit the average. For easier subjects, that is. This is where most people should belong, because this is where most people are centred. Your ability to mingle with the masses is highly appreciated, hence being branded as "excelling". You are the sort to stay at this level, so be sure you do.

S (Superb) - Well done, man. You've exemplified how a real student should perform, only that people with a grade named "U" have exemplified it even more. I don't think you are average, you stand out from the crowd by daring to explore uncharted grounds. You are delving deeper into the underworld and discovering the great big secrets of not doing well in RJC. However, you are that bit too intelligent. Lose it, and you're on the way to becoming the pioneer.

U (Ultimate) - This grade is also known as "unrivalled", for seldom does one have enough courage to go ALL THE WAY down to explore the abyss of CTs. Another thing is that when you get "U", you're probably doing it alone. No matter how many people get "U", they are always alone when they get home and try to explain the result to their parents. These are people you are going to respect - because they pull down the average to "E" for you so that you have a better time explaining your "just passed" results to your parents. In any case, take pride if you get a U, for it isn't just anyone who can get it.

It's just U, the very talented U who will get a U. So U FTW!

New grading system will be put in place for my analysis of my results for these CTs. Of course, since I haven't got back all my papers, I will not begin the review. I got a feeling I'd be some excelling superb ultimate person. But maybe I'd get lucky, you never know.

Still, it's pointless speculating now so it's off to bed I am. And let the results speak for themselves next week. Remember, take pride in being a U, it's only U who can be that good.

Come get lucky today..!

I hope you remembered my ode to CTs sometime back.. it went something like this:

"my name is yj, i'm the best
i am so unlike the rest
they say my life is in a mess
just cos i haven't mugged for common tests"

And YL's lamenting that "Common tests destroy creative output." Shows that CTs reap you no benefits and its existence only proves to be a bane in your life.

After my one-day mugging programme for Chemistry (that lasted up till 2am NO JOKE okay) and still getting pwn3d the next day, I figured the truth about CTs. That it is indeed all about luck - and all you need for CTs is nothing but luck, luck and more luck.

Or you'd have to be some bloody genius, but then again research has shown that geniuses only take up 0.000001% (6 sf) of any population, so the chances is that YOU, currently reading this now, are probably not a genius. Oh and not to mention if you were really a genius, you wouldn't spend time reading the crap on this blog. Yes so the hypothesis is proven true.

But the thing is, like Animal Farm's "some animals are more equal than others", in CTs some luck are more equal than others. It's obvious that you can smoke your way through for certain subjects more than others, and smoke I did.

As the smoking ban was only put in place in 1st July 2006, the Saturday right after the CTs, I very narrowly escaped the fate of being unable to smoke. Not being a Biology student, I did not know the dangers of attempting to smoke through CTs but anyway that isn't the point.

The point is I did. Because I got back half the Econs paper today and despite not passing anything (not even take-home assignments, mind you) throughout the term I just topped the class this time. Now if you accuse me of bragging, YES I AM SO WHAT? I have the luck and you don't!! Hurhurhur!

But the important thing now is to find out where my luck came from.

And you know the thing about luck - when it's spread around, it really loses its effectiveness. So despite my title being "Come get lucky today", I'm not here to offer you advice on how to boost your luck. I don't like easy come easy go. I'm a selfish bugger and I only put such a title so you would be attracted to come and hear me brag.

Now that I'm done, good luck to you. =) and I'm off finding MY source of luck so I can reuse it for promos. And of course most importantly "A" levels.

Oh and by the way, if you wanted to know what I got back today.. it was the Econs case study. And if you'd think carefully, I did a post on that. You can refer to the model answers there, and even though I might be an idiot and refuse to tell you where to get the luck from, I'm not that selfish as to avoid sharing with you my answers.

When there's happiness, I like to share my joy with the world. It's dated Friday 30th June 2006 – go read it and get enlightened thank you. Or rather, thank me. =)

Germany vs Italy

I'm in the midst of an argument right now. Simply because one of my (stupid) friends think Italy will win, while I am a firm believer in the great footballing nation of Germany.

In fact, I think I can qualify to be half-German. Since I'm sulky and grumpy.. BUT as I do not possess half the efficiency and the discipline of the Germans, I cannot be a full-fledged German. So there you go. I think I have great reason to back the German team - because I share similar traits with them.

Either way, let's get back to the match. Germany vs Italy. I remember just earlier today during Civics lesson we were doing this "How would your racist city be like?" thingy. Now for one, I thought Singapore was promoting racial harmony so what's up with RJC Student Development..?

And secondly, who actually cares about racial harmony when there's World Cup?!? I was doodling on the stupid worksheet, fiddling with the German line-up, and trying to be a Klinsmann sending out his Nazi team against the Italian mafia.

Speaking of which, let me tell you why Germany will win today.

1) Germany started World War II, Italy were just their lackeys. We all know that Adolf Hitler was a fagut, but at least he had the guts to declare outright war. The stupid Italians allied with them because Mussolini was a wuss who wanted to be a villain but didn't possess the balls to go out and start exterminating people by the millions.

Of course both countries were wrong, and two wrongs don't make a right. Still, it isn't as if soccer's such an angelic sport so let's get this straight. Germany's more evil and thus they will win.

2) Germany had it all planned. Remember Hitler invaded Poland first, and in that process he was smart enough not to kill the grandparents of Lukas Podolski and Miroslav Klose, without whom the German team would not be half as successful as they are today. With planning done almost 70 years in advance, it's difficult for their plans to go astray now. (If it does, they really damn jack ar.)

3) Germans are at home ground. Our friends were discussing it - and the Italian fan was saying the Mafia could assassinate German players on the pitch. Then when the 11 players are all dead the Italians could start a goal fest.

I don't believe that rubbish. You'd only need to kill ONE player before the game stops and before the Germans start setting the Italian side of the stand ablaze. Plus the Secret Service of the Germans would soon rise to exterminate those hooligans (or terrorists, if you'd like). The whole Westfalenstadion can turn into a battleground. But the Germans will win - with their V3 rockets technology I don't see how they can lose to even the most advanced weaponry in Mafia history.

Basically, Italy can't win a gunfire war. Take out the terrorist tactics, they're not gonna work. Just stick to normal football and lose by normal football.

The world will be a better place.

After all, wasn't the theme of Germany 2006 to "make a world of friends"?

A host of little things

Just came back from Indonesia, and it was quite fun. It's one of the few places where i can be a millionaire and i can still joke about losing 39000 bucks. It certainly helps, because i was unlucky enough to play daidee with zhizhi, a guy with moobs who was lucky enough to get all 4 2s and was thus declared automatic winner, making everyone pay him triple. I worship him man.

Anyway i just swam my 1500m for school nats today. And i saw real courage today. People who can't really swim were challenging themselves by taking on the 1500m. That category should include me, but miraculously i achieved a 7th position, so i shall exclude myself. The unfortunate thing about this event is that it has a maximum time of 25 minutes. At the end of it, the officials will kick you out due to time constraints, which is really cruel. So these people who couldn't really swim obviously couldn't finish it in 25 minutes. At first, the officials tried blowing a whistle, but did that work? NO! the people continued swimming, such was their strong desire to complete the race. So in the end the officials resorted to draconian tactics and lowered a flag line to block them. Quite sad. One of them had only two laps left. If there's one word to describe them, it's B-R-A-V-E.

Let me describe my way of swimming the 1500m. Firstly, don't do warm-up. You waste energy and you need all your energy for the actual race. Since it's 30 laps, you have the distance to do all the warm up you want. So the right strategy would be something like 10 laps warm up, 10 laps cruising and 10 laps warm down. Finish.

That would almost guarantee you last place unless you're some shen swimmer. Another tactic would be to go all out in the first 10 laps and then rely on willpower to see you through. Because as they say, where there's a will, there's a way. But that didn't work for me today, because the guy next to me lapped me 2 times. So did the guy next to him. and the guy next to him next to him. and that just kills willpower. But i still got 7th place. 2 points for the school. Cheers!

Youth day

I used to wonder what Youth Day is really all about.

Including today. Like why on earth celebrate something that's not really something worth celebrating? Being a youth now is not a good thing - peer pressure, acne, underage sex, illegal betting, etc. Basically there are vices out there to kill you.

But hell, today's a holiday.

So just accept it and stop asking questions.

But yea, keep wondering.

Stupid short stories

Today is a stupid day.

Therefore I will not blog about my stupid day.

But instead I'll give you stupid stories to think about.

Actually it's not much thinking. It's stupid.

So just enjoy these stupid no-brain stories.

Totally original. And hence totally stupid.

Germans on the Road
There were two Germans driving along a long, narrow winding path. Germans, being Germans, can't speak very good English. But anyway one of them decided to speak in English so..

German 1: Hey vatch out!

German 2: Vhy?

German 1: Ze hodt.. it's meandering!

German 2: Vhat ze hell is "hodt"?

German 1: Ze hodt, ze hodt, ZE HODT YOU ARE DRIVING ON! It's meandering!

German 2: Oh.. you mean der road??

(I warned you, it's stupid.)

Target of the Year
There was this tar-manufacturing company having their Annual General Meeting. Their Managing Director had suffered a $20 million loss in income the year before, and was putting on a black face comparable to the colour of his tar.

He boiled (like his tar again), "THIS IS PATHETIC! $20 MILLION LOSSES!"

The staff were silent while he ranted the poor performance.

Then, he yelled, "WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD BE OUR TARGET FOR NEXT YEAR?"

An idiot suggested, "get more tar?"

(It will get worse.)

Where's the Justice???
In cold Antarctica with freezing temperatures far below 50 degrees Celsius, a penguin accused of stealing thermal heating from another family of penguins was acquitted by the Antarctica High Court. Although it was blatantly obvious that he was the thief.

When the court was dismissed, the victims of the family started lamenting to each other.

Baby Penguin: Sigh, now we'd be stuck in the cold without our thermal heater, where's the justice?!!

Papa Penguin: My son, in Antarctica, there's no such thing as justice. There's just ice.

(If you thought that was bad, we're coming to an end.)

Star Gazing
Stella was a girl who liked seeing stars (and constellations), so one day she decided to go up an observatory to.. well, observe stars. Unfortunately, the lift broke down the day before and couldn't work. So she also broke down in front of the lift, thinking she would not be able to go up to the observatory deck to see her beloved stars.

Then.. one guy asked her why on earth was she crying.

Stella: I can't see the stars from here!! The lift has broken down.

Guy: ... then use the stair-la!!

(snigger snigger)

You're in luck. This is the end. =)

Hope you enjoyed those stupid short stories.

Short, sweet and stupid.