And unfortunately, this "it" is my classmate. And I had to bloghop onto its smelly blog. Somehow it needed help with html, and for those who do not know my classmate personally (and who should thank your lucky stars for that by the way), you could just know it as THE GUY WHO NEEDS HELP WITH HTML.
The "guy" part is debatable, but let me get on with my story about it. After all as a respected (okay actually hardly) citizen of the Republic of Singapore and ultimately the world, I must issue a warning, a caveat, un avertissement to warn you of the terrible pollution that is going on in the world nowadays. The threat is here, and the time is nigh. Shit has happened, and right in the middle of RJC, 07S07B.
Which very unfortunately, happens to be the place where I go to take attendance every morning.
Right. Back to the warning.
A few days back, our group had a short discussion on our GP topic. Basically GP being the non-content-based subject that it is, we were usually encouraged to have creative expression, hence a performance task was given to us in the hope that we were to stretch our creative juices. Such is the thing about RP - performance tasks are always in demand because it err.. cultivates the thinker, leader and pioneer. For non-Rafflesians reading this, do not think for a moment that I'm criticising my school.
I have entirely no intention of doing so. Let me give you a three line proof.
Good is not perfect. -- (1)
The RP system is good (okay maybe not, but let's assume). -- (2)
From (1) and (2), RP is not perfect. -- (3)
From (3), we know that the RP is not perfect. Doesn't take a genius to work out that simultaneous equation, a local retard from MINDS could figure that out. It is not the system that is bad, but the people who abuse the system are absolute fags and deserved to be condemned.
Now just for a little "eye candy", let me present you this shit that has irked me so much that I decided to take up 30 minutes of my Gunbound time to dedicate a post on TCS to it. After all, as TCS can stand for Talk Cock Summit, I don't see why it can't stand for The Condemnation of Shit as well. I AM HERE TO CONDEMN THAT LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT IN MY CLASS.
(PS Don't ask me to post it's name, it's too filthy to be put up here. Ignorance is bliss. If you don't know who is it, just take it that I'm slamming some shithead (which I am). If you know who is it that I'm talking about, you could start praying for divine intervention and hope that you'd never get an inch closer to it.)
Did you see how revolting that was? UGH.
It's a disgrace to everyone having the same first four letters for their name.
And shit (pun intended), I'm really digressing.
Back to where we were discussing about GP performance task. Our group happened to consist of three girls, one guy (I am a guy and I know it okay) and another sexless. I'm not going to say who's the sexless one, and don't ask me because I'm not going to say who it is. And don't assume that it's the shit that I'm referring to, because for all you know I might be tricking you. Make an intelligent guess.
I tried to contribute an idea or two into the group, but well with me being a cock-talker or a sullen fag I guess the group ultimately ditched all my ideas. Well I'm fine with that. Just that they were going to choose a topic that was going to be very. very. disturbing.
Actually no. Because our group decided to do on "Beauty" for Performance Task - which wasn't very disgusting innit? After all YL and I have held countless debates here talking about beauty, what's chio and what's not and despite our friendly banter that might go a little bit overboard at times, we make sure we talk about strangers that would probably have almost zero chance of reading the blog.
So we go for low risk, minimal damage. Even though we haven't been taught that in Econs, risk assessment is something I learnt from Council.
But well our group wanted to do "Beauty" the scientific way and define beauty. So like those silly planning experiments in the lab they decided to use me as a control. (ie they wanted me to dress up like a girl and compare me to a real girl. like wth)
.
.
.
.
Are you done laughing yet? I admit I found the idea very amusing at first, but not till I heard that I was going to have a scarf put on me, a tube (ZOMG!) and whatnot. I think it's very disturbing that I have to do this sort of crap for GP. Wearing a hairband or maybe clipping on some earrings was acceptable - but to do a total makeover and asking me to become a girl is like asking me to score full marks for Biology.
In case you didn't get that. I meant to say IMPOSSIBLE.
Well so I made my stand clear while sitting down having the discussion that I wasn't going to do any cross-dressing. The only sort of cross-dressing I would tolerate is dressing up for cross country - ie wearing PE kit okay that's 100% understandable. And I would do it.
But asking me to dress like a girl? You think Mao Zedong would kill all the non-Communists in the world? Would Germany win the 2006 World Cup despite them fully deserving to? Would we stop shitting in toilets or drinking water to sustain our lives? IMPOSSIBLE.
The shit, on the other hand, was particularly excited about the hubbub. It (note: not "he") said that it would gladly dress like a girl if I would cross-dress with it (that was about to make me vomit) and oh, one of the girl groupmates that I had suggested I could act gay with it.
Here's why I can't.
1) I'm not gay.
2) It's sexless. Do you ever recall your Bio teacher saying "this shit is male?" or "this shit is female?" Hell no. Eh wait I meant SHIT NO!
3) Because it's just violating human rights.
I almost vomitted at the prospect but since there was already shit in the class, I couldn't well pollute it with my vomit as well right? The stench would just kill everyone. But my point is: this girl was obviously crazy to suggest such a thing, and well the shit obviously had some electrons removed from his shitty skin and was in excited state about dressing up like a girl.
Well done, we were about to have our first female shit.
Despite my various protests, the group refused to budge on my not dressing up as a girl. And I refused to compromise my values as well. DUH WOULD YOU DRESS UP AS A GIRL JUST TO GET GP PERFORMANCE TASK MARKS THAT WAS GOING TO COUNT FOR NOTHING?
Let me tell you, only three categories of people would say "yes" to that question in bold.
1) Girls.
2) Gays/Transvestites.
3) Shits.
And err anyway I suffered 1.5 hours of shit with my groupmates desperately trying to get me to be a girl. Now let me tell you for now. I AM MAN AND I AM PROUD OF IT. You can say that previously I posted about how I wanted to try being a girl, but that was MENTALLY, not PHYSICALLY. I didn't go down Orchard Road sporting a dress. You might as well tell Hitler to stop killing Jews - and that's quite stupid because he's probably a few feet underground in a foreign land AND decomposed by now.
And I thought that after this GP lesson, all hell would be over.
But the shit, being the shit, had to make shit happen. And it posted this on the blog. What the shit.
QUOTE
last (finally): actually i read this yesterday but since i posted already couldn't be bothered. was reading YJ's post (did i mention the YeJie is a damn big SPOILSPORT? comeon lar, opportunity to nearly score full marks for a GP project and he's being so stubborn XD) about various scandals nearer CT's? i know the reason why. it's because ppl like us are gullible enough to respond to various pleas of help from others who like slack half the year and go "oh noes, please help this person in dire distress because i suddenly find i don't comprehend almost everything i read" and being the KIND people we are, we oblige, we teach, and sometimes, we manage to make them pass. and after the CT's (or promo's) it's back to "ok, exam over, to heck with the results, let's have fun" ALL the way until the NEXT exam period, where it's again "oh noes, we need help!" sigh. what to do?
UNQUOTE
For one, when I was doing that post, it was based on a real encounter with one of my friends. It's authentic and it's real and I had absolutely no thought of it when I was blogging that. After all, shit is shit and shit doesn't get girlfriends. Because.. damn just refer to above, shit is sexless okay. Shit can at best reproduce by binary fission, but I don't take Bio so I don't bloody know.
And anyway, that extract above already has a few fallacies. Even though with my uber suck Philo I could notice a few.
1) Hasty Generalisation - I was making a generalisation, and it was hasty into thinking that I was talking about it. LOL it always does that, it always thinks that the planets, the Sun and the moon all revolve round shit. Tell you what, my friend, actually shit is very common and it's a biological process that everyone goes through - YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT AT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE AND YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT WANTED. (flushing sound)
2) Slippery Slope - Just because you oblige and teach doesn't mean you are being kind. Actually, teaching others helps in your revision process as well. And some people (now notice I'm not talking about the shit, I said SOME PEOPLE) oblige and teach because they get so bloody lonely mugging by themselves and they just need someone to talk to aww. It's like they got no friends, so whoever comes by, whether they like it or not, these lonely people MUST TEACH MUST TEACH. Then proclaim themselves kind. Tsk!
3) Post Hoc - You teach them, they pass. Are they related? No they might not be. Refer to my previous posts about CTs, it's bloody obvious that CTs is all about luck. Especially if it's stuff like Econs where idiots like me can top the class (undeservedly, no doubt). So don't claim credit so fast, you little shit. You don't get credit for making others lucky, because luck is luck and it's either you have it or you don't. Unless you say you tutored someone in Chem or Maths and they passed that, then maybe you have a valid reason to claim credit. Otherwise, shut your crevice. Econs is all about luck.
4) Poisoning The Well - You cannot assume that whoever you tutored is (poor fella, by the way) has such a lackadaisical attitude towards his/her studies. You cannot say that he/she doesn't give a hoot about his/her studies at all. What do you think if he/she reads your blog? Some people just might not be as intellectually capable as you, and you should not look down on others for that. Everyone should be given a chance, and it's the (unfair) world's fault that some others take longer to revise something. BUT YOU KNOW THAT 勤能补拙, and one day you might find yourself outclassed. Like how I kicked your butt (shit-butt?) for Econs. Shut your crevice and don't poison the well with your disgusting self.
Now to the attack on me. Something like I'm a spoilsport and err, giving up on an opportunity to score full marks on a GP project? Firstly, it's assuming that we're going to get close to full marks for GP. That's dangerous, considering how cross-dressing might adversely affect the teacher's mood. She finds it in bad taste, then our group is doomed. And plus my pictures will be all over school and maybe up on Youtube. That sucks. And that's a real bad assumption.
Second, even if we do get high marks, is the cost worth the profit? The shit, being known to have a "head for Econs" (yea I didn't know shithead meant "head for Econs"), obviously does not get the idea of opportunity cost. My reputation will go down the drain, and people will start saying "there's 2 girls in your BW exco." And there will be 2 female house captains for the Batch of 2007 in RJC, and I'm so not relishing that prospect. But duh I'm the one cross-dressing so it's not affected. Bloody shit (pun intended yet again).
And third, don't call others a spoilsport for his personal values. You have no right to do so because I am a male and I'm proud of it. I'm not compromising any of my personal values for a bloody GP grade. Sure, you can fail me for my Performance Task, it's not going to affect my A levels. So much for being analytical, when shit happens everything goes down the loo.
That is all I have to say. I'm sorry for making you all read about shit and such a long entry and stuff, but well, shit happens. Even at RJC.
Some will definitely say I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. After all it's just one small paragraph and I'm wasting shitloads of time doing this for the sake of justifying my stand. Well there's the mental torture it inflicted on me for 1.5 hours of GP that day. Even though I might not appear affected, I am bloody traumatised by the attack of the shits.
So no, this is not a mountain built out of a molehill.
This is blogger's diarrhoea built up from a piece of shit.
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