Italy vs France

Okay something went wrong the other time I did a review. Let's just say Germany were unlucky - and anyway today I'm going to find some better reasons to present to you why Italy is just not good enough to win the World Cup.

Actually, neither is France, but France will beat Italy to take tonight's cup. The reasons are slightly stronger this time.

1) Germany and Italy were partners in crime and both kena raped after World War II. However, France was part of the Allies and that means they kicked Italy's arse. Thus tonight good will again triumph over evil.

2) France will win because I say so.

I learn not to give long reasons, like the other time Germany had so much reason to win but they still failed to deliver (unlucky, I call it). Still, I'm pleased for their 3-1 demolition of Portugal. Face it, Portugal never really had a chance, the bunch of cheaters. Especially when Cristiano Ronaldo plays with that attitude of his.

So in the morning I didn't bother watching the match. And when I woke up at eleven, I began to loaf around waiting for the replay to start.

I kept myself occupied by playing Rover..


Somewhat like Pacman only it requires more skill and you play it on the interactive TV. That's one good thing about having this interactive TV thingies.. you get to kill time without moving off the couch.

Then I decided to read the papers to check out who was favoured - Italy or France. To be entirely honest, after Germany's loss to Italy I simply boycotted the papers for a few days because I was so bloody upset. You should know why - as I stated in my previous post in the semi-finals I'm a half-German.

And it occurred to me that I'm a half-French too. I have their passion for being slack about things, and their traditional screwed-up procrastination of handling things (like DELF certificates) is an evident trait in myself. I like being disorganised like them. Then the similarities end - because the French are friendly and uh, very passionate lovers. I haven't discovered that side of myself if I have one. So I'm still a half-French.

Oh that gives rise to a third reason.

3) Both France and Italy are well-known for being passionate lovers. In the case of France, it's really romantic. But in the case of Italian lovers, they are more well-known as HOT-BLOODED (like YL having a fever..?) lovers and end up committing passions of crime like MURDER!!!

Which in any case might seem out of point but not so if you think about it carefully. Why play soccer? It's because of a love of the game. Italians try committing crimes of passion in soccer, more likely they'll get red-carded. Anyway I was reading the ST articles about how ill-disciplined both sides were.

Check this out:

Not very good eh. Italy with 32 dives and France with 28 tantrums (all top frags and top fags). Italian team freaking playing the wrong sport - they should come join the aquatic team at Toa Payoh Swimming Complex. And it's no secret that they cheated against Australia to come this far. Boo.


Fair Play Index - Italy coming in second with 40 points behind Paraguay who deservedly got knocked out, while France is nowhere to be seen in the list. Which is good, by the way. I support fair play.

And exciting play too! So leave your nails nice and long like mine, because what you really want is a nail-biting final. Some say the finalists don't deserve their place - but since they are there, they are there. Of course following the ST report, it seems as if both teams play dirty. And in an ideal world, we have no place for dirty teams.

So start imagining the ideal scenario, Italy and France both play damn dirty in the finals. Italy try to find gold in Olympiastadion, while the French throw tantrums at the referees. Okay then both teams will have four players sent off right at the same moment, resulting in both finalists being losers.

THEN GERMANY IN THIRD PLACE CAN LAY CLAIM TO THE WORLD CUP! YAY!

Since both finalists lost anyway.

But that's your ideal situation, and we all know the world is far from ideal. If not why do you think those Italian w**kers are still here today?

In any case, they are. And let me tell you now even though I'm not cutting my nails, I'm all for France. The simple reason being that I take French, and err also because the Italians knocked out the Germans. Thus it's PAYBACK TIME. Okay.

I pledge my allegiance to the French football team, and so beyond my uncut nails there's the french tricolour.


VIVE LA FRANCE!!

And if you have problems reading the letters, I'll give you a bigger version.


It reads F, T and W. Contrary to what you think, it doesn't stand for "for the win". Even though that's what it usually means in original context. It doesn't stand for "f*** the world" either, because when you win the World Cup, you gotta be thankful to the world that provided the Cup.

Tout simplement, FTW stands for FRANCE THE WINNERS!

Allez les Bleus!
France shall be victorious and win the World Cup!

*And quite befittingly I have French lessons later today from 5:30pm to 7:30pm.. I'm pretty sure the teacher won't mind if I sleep in this one. =P