The clinic

It's not my fault I was late for H3 Maths today, I was forced to go to a clinic even though I wasn't sick. Quite the contrary, I was feeling fully fit and ready to swipe anyone down in my way. That's why I signed up for Fencing. (Actually more like BW not enough people LOL.) But next thing I knew, they said I have to go for clinic. Wa lau!

So no choice, went to the Fencing clinic to get whatever illness I had treated. Funny how I never knew I had some Fencing disease.

In case you don't know what Fencing is, I'd better put a picture here. It's some small crap I got off the net, but put simply it's two people in white carrying swords and err.. slashing each other. Actually I thought it looked like slashing, when from experience it's more like poking. Eh but don't let that put you off, it's very exciting sport okay.



There you go - from this angle looks quite violent contact sport, but unfortunately it's not.

Arriving promptly at four with another friend of mine interested to swipe some idiots in white (and actually those in blue, green, red and black as well), I immediately felt like a fish out of water. Or if you like, thrown off the fence into the deep end of the pool. Everyone who went there all were carrying blades, and the two of us were strolling into the hall in our PE attires like a bunch of nincompoops.

And not a very big bunch, either. Plus since we're unarmed and outnumbered, we just went into one corner to contemplate escape routes. In any case before long more people came in with their blades. Then I got really scared. Baskit I've never seen so many of these crazy long blades before (except maybe at the mat barber's) so I was damn 提心吊胆。I was about to run off (since they were going to start late anyway) when OH CRAP the clinic suddenly opened.

Like a patient, being patient, waiting to see a doctor but the doctor doesn't care. Then when the patient finally decided he's too scared to go in, the doctor comes out and invites him in. Some clinic.

The girl who talked to us was very friendly too.

"Go run 10 rounds around the field."

Wa I was damn happy and was about to run off shouting "YES MA'AM" because 1) at least that was my terrain and 2) I could go home after that exercise but..

"Just joking."

Argh. And it turned out we were supposed to do 2 rounds around the Hall. Feeling very excited about the first part of my treatment, I just jogged around very happily. I mean when you think of those super fit (sports season) people and the unfit fags doing Napfa retest outside, you can't imagine more joy than just doing two rounds around one silly hall.

Yay so I think I completed it in a record time of 27.41 seconds. Wonderful.

Treatment part two was much more psychomotor skills. We were asked to bend our knees and err.. move forward and backward. Having last done that more than two years ago (at some fencing trials in RI), I was looking like some clumsy oaf trying to bend my knee and move.

And if you think it's easy COME JOIN INTERHOUSE FENCING I TAKE YOU ON.

Then we did footwork, which was essentially moving forward and backward -.- and seriously I think those fencers should try out X-country training for one day and we'll show them what REAL footwork is. Because your foot really works like mad throughout training and at the end instead of "foot work" you'd be like "WOOT, FORK MY LEG HURTS".

Then treatment part three was just doing lunges. Another adaptation from X-country and it was quite deja vu doing all that crap again. For this one, I recommend that those X-country radicals come learn abit from the Fencing team. Why bother doing 100m lunges when you can do one, move a bit back and forth, then do another? At least there's variation and differentiation. Now the only thing left is the integration of these healthy habits into the X-country system.

I think I'm contributing a lot. Hmm.

But after a while the fencers realised their treatment wasn't getting rid of anything - so out came the blades and suddenly everyone was alive and more n00bs started to stream in. Notice the number of councillors from the House Directorate trying to form teams for interhouse. Sad cases man - joining for the sake of avoiding a walkover. I came because I had a passion for fencing.

The blades were pretty fun, because the fencers very cunningly arranged for someone to be our.. uh, target practice. As they always say, LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE, so I guess this treatment was best. Take turns to laugh at the poor sod getting jabbed and poked all over the place.

Well then as our treatment drew to an end, we got to know about the REAL DEAL (ie the competition next Tuesday). It was quite amusing, something about giving your opponent a salute before the match starts and when it ends. I was thinking if fencing was so violent at the end you think still have energy to salute?!! I made a resolution to hack down my opponents until at the end they can't return my salute.



Okay it's late and I'm talking rubbish as well as posting crap pictures. This picture is just another funny n00by ones I found on the net. Cute little kids starting to deal with weaponry. And apparently if you drop your blade once it's a yellow card, and twice it's a red card but OOPS unlike Zidane you don't get sent off, you only give your opponent one point.

NOW I THINK THAT IS A DAMN GOOD RULE!

They should apply it to soccer. Then maybe after that headbutt France would go down 1-2 to Italy. And then with Zidane around they might still have stood a chance to equalise. Then I wouldn't be called Puay Hock and I wouldn't be grumbling about those Italian mafia gangsters winning the bloody World Cup. Okay yes you can say that I'm ranting because I am.

And next time two red cards = one point for the other team. We don't need to be sent off. We just need the opponent to have a little more score to get the adrenaline pumping a little faster. So oh well. I guess that was all for the Fencing clinic today. I felt much better afterwards when I went for H3 Maths lecture.

All fired up for next Tuesday's competition! Yay BW FOR THE WIN!

(PS Have you ever thought why fencing is called fencing? It doesn't involve fences, there aren't many fans, and you certainly don't sing during the match (fans-sing AHAHAHA). And did you know British poet Robert Frost was a very famous fencer too? One of his quotes from his poems, "Good fences make good neighbours". Go figure. I'm done talking cock for tonight.)