Stupid short stories

Today is a stupid day.

Therefore I will not blog about my stupid day.

But instead I'll give you stupid stories to think about.

Actually it's not much thinking. It's stupid.

So just enjoy these stupid no-brain stories.

Totally original. And hence totally stupid.

Germans on the Road
There were two Germans driving along a long, narrow winding path. Germans, being Germans, can't speak very good English. But anyway one of them decided to speak in English so..

German 1: Hey vatch out!

German 2: Vhy?

German 1: Ze hodt.. it's meandering!

German 2: Vhat ze hell is "hodt"?

German 1: Ze hodt, ze hodt, ZE HODT YOU ARE DRIVING ON! It's meandering!

German 2: Oh.. you mean der road??

(I warned you, it's stupid.)

Target of the Year
There was this tar-manufacturing company having their Annual General Meeting. Their Managing Director had suffered a $20 million loss in income the year before, and was putting on a black face comparable to the colour of his tar.

He boiled (like his tar again), "THIS IS PATHETIC! $20 MILLION LOSSES!"

The staff were silent while he ranted the poor performance.

Then, he yelled, "WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD BE OUR TARGET FOR NEXT YEAR?"

An idiot suggested, "get more tar?"

(It will get worse.)

Where's the Justice???
In cold Antarctica with freezing temperatures far below 50 degrees Celsius, a penguin accused of stealing thermal heating from another family of penguins was acquitted by the Antarctica High Court. Although it was blatantly obvious that he was the thief.

When the court was dismissed, the victims of the family started lamenting to each other.

Baby Penguin: Sigh, now we'd be stuck in the cold without our thermal heater, where's the justice?!!

Papa Penguin: My son, in Antarctica, there's no such thing as justice. There's just ice.

(If you thought that was bad, we're coming to an end.)

Star Gazing
Stella was a girl who liked seeing stars (and constellations), so one day she decided to go up an observatory to.. well, observe stars. Unfortunately, the lift broke down the day before and couldn't work. So she also broke down in front of the lift, thinking she would not be able to go up to the observatory deck to see her beloved stars.

Then.. one guy asked her why on earth was she crying.

Stella: I can't see the stars from here!! The lift has broken down.

Guy: ... then use the stair-la!!

(snigger snigger)

You're in luck. This is the end. =)

Hope you enjoyed those stupid short stories.

Short, sweet and stupid.