Singapore Idol screwup

Okay it was just on the news that the results for Singapore Idol was screwed up. Meaning that someone who was supposed to go in was announced to be out and someone who was supposed to be out was announced as in.

The producers said it was a technical glitch. I say it's a fundamental screwup.

Singapore Idol should be decided by the judges and not the people - because all you need is a pretty face to get voted. Some people don't recognise talent. Actually, most people don't recognise talent so they'd just vote the best-looking guy/girl so they get free eye candy the next round. And they're willing to pay loads of money by smsing, which those greedy fags (ie producers) gladly collect so they could sponsor their show.

Well, if they're going to collect so much money, don't you think they should at least report accurate results? Tsk tsk - maybe they should spend more money ensuring that there are no technical glitches.

Nevertheless, this is just a random commentary. For one, I don't watch Singapore Idol because I've no life and I'm just idle. And another thing is because I didn't like the previous round. Although some people have NO LOOKS and NO TALENT, they have THE MONEY. And that is why they can get their parents to send them through to the next round. Take a certain fatty who got third place in the first Singapore Idol for example. No looks no talent but got money - and that's how she got that third.

If you ask me, she's got the ego the bloody size of Ronaldo but what's worse is that her weight should far exceed his. Which is kind of sick but that's history.

So I don't watch Singapore Idol now. But I could be their advisor if you ask me. Like how to improve their silly programmes so they get more viewership from apathetic idlers like me. It's very simple actually, it's somewhat like the addition reactions you get in Chemistry, only two steps required.

And like the addition reactions, the first step is the slow one.

1) Change the name and the style. (slow)
Singapore Idol is koped, it's bloody koped from the Americans so almost everything (except for the name "Singapore") is the same as them. Format of competition, voting system, etc. Why copy the Americans? They aren't always right all the time! We should come out with our own format of the competition like we knock out twenty people at one stage of the competition, but we audition everyone publicly.

After all, when you see people turning up for Singapore Idol auditions, it's obvious they just want attention. Give them the attention, man. Then kick loads of them out at one go. This should take up lots of time to make a decent season of Singapore Idol. Since local programmes are mostly trash anyway, and we shouldn't watch too much of overseas propaganda in case we get too influenced by their sleazy Westernised lifestyle, let one season of Singapore Idol run for two or three whole years straight. Damn exciting.

Then comes the more important part.

2) Get a more qualified judge. (fast)
Like how H-X can attach to an alkene, the second part is basically ensuring that the changeover is complete and that the X is attached to the second central carbon atom.

I say four judges are redundant - because they're mostly bitching about the contestants all at one go, or they all are singing his praises (which obviously isn't as good as the contestant's singing - but judges singing praises to him/her will definitely be MUSIC to his/her ears). Basically, you see common views. Which is gay. Which is stupid. Then you pay four judges which is an utter waste of money.

It's the law of diminishing marginal returns (LDMR), duh. The producers of Singapore Idol obviously must not have studied Econs before, because they obviously don't understand the law of diminishing marginal returns. Why bother paying extra money for three judges when they all are saying the same thing? It's like 画蛇添足 - putting legs on a snake. It's just extravagant.

Might as well get one good judge and pay him very well. You need qualifications. You can't get people like err, Dick Lee. Who is he anyway? If you'd take the time to ask Cristiano Ronaldo who is Dick Lee, he'd probably stare at you muttering Portuguese expletives like a punk (which he is) and just ignore your stupid question. And Dick Lee is arguably one of the more well-known judges.

Ken Lim sulks too much and should be kicked out. The rest are just.. not very well-known. So basically, you need someone there who can provide good opinion, a neutral point of view, preferably not too good in music, etc. Actually this is a very sensitive issue, but I can offer the best solution to it.

For the judge of Singapore Idol, I recommend myself. As part of the band THE INTEGRALS who plays all sorts of music, I appreciate good music and good singing. You cannot be too good in Music or you'd just be too ego in your judging and think everyone sucks. Me, I have my super on-form days where I'm close to reaching Mozart's form in this prime but I also have my off-days where I'm like Mozart in his current state.

So um basically. Just take it that I'm good. I can offer to be the judge. And you need not pay me four judges' salary - three will do. That way you won't have to suffer the wrath of the stupid Economics term called LDMR for short. Instead, you get Little Damage on your Singapore Idol show and you'd get More Revenue with people wanting to watch Singapore Idol because the judge is great.

Yep and I've experience in being a judge before. I'm not going to say why, when or how. But I've got experience and that's all you need to know.

That's part two. Damn it, when I try to explain the fast step, I end up saying so much more about it than I intended to. But oh well, sometimes we do need more time to plan so as to ensure that things don't screw up when it is put into action. We won't want our national singing competition to be so crappy right.

And hence, here's the new version of Singapore Idol.

Oh wait. According to Step 1, you're supposed to change the name of the competition!

So that's it. The new name of the competition can be..

YJ's Idol!!!

All right man!! By the way, if I haven't mentioned it already, there must also be a change in format of competition. No more silly voting because it's obviously biased (towards the rich and fast sms-ers). Like duh that's why you get me as a judge - I'm not paid for nothing, I'll decide the winner for you.

And. Judge's decision is final, no appeals or complaints shall be entertained.