Answer to distress

Dear Nidiam Lusmahs (what a weird name you have),

I see in you the inner fire for football. You have the greatest football passion i have ever seen in my life. Yes, you are hallucinating something, which is the common tests. Contrary to popular belief, it is better if you do not study for them, but i never say it's better for who la.

Now the solution to your lifestyle problem is very simple. What you need is cable subscription so that you don't have to leave the comfort of your home to watch the world cup and satisfy your craving. And for this you need money. I suggest you make use of your profound football knowledge since you are a football despo and bet on football results. That way you'll get money, fast and easy. If you don't even have the money to bet, you should go borrow from loan shark. Never mind the high interest rate, betting is very simple, even idiots can win money.

As for the fact that you think burgers are footballs, i think that's very interesting and i would like to see you try to kick a burger.

Don't be stressed by the common tests. Your health is definitely more important. Your cts are not important. After all, even if you get good results, so what? Maybe you can become a politician, a lawyer or some other overachiever or something. But trust me, that's not the life you want to lead because that's not your passion. I see great potential in you. What you should aim to be is a professional football player and professional football players don't need to do well for common tests. In fact they fail them. So follow the example and fail them this time. You're well on your way to becoming a professional football player.

Fandi Ahmad became a millionaire footballer. There's no reason why you cannot. Have some faith in your own abilities. You can do it. And good luck! (you'll need it)

Yours truthfully,
Uncle I-need-some-fucking-help