Results from "WC"

I bring you the results thus far of the Group Matches in the WC.

By WC, you should be relieved to hear that I'm not talking about the World Cup again. As there are no matches till the weekend, I thought I'd take a break from talking about WC. This is on a more pertinent issue - WC stands for World Commons. Okay damn it I won't be an idiot anymore. I'm talking about the COMMON TESTS.

Having sat for two papers, it brings me great pleasure to bring you both results.

First match
ECONOMICS 1-1 YJ
Scorer for Econs: Case Study (60th minute +1)
Scorer for YJ: Essay (103rd minute)

A shock result here, for YJ was expected to roll over for Econs to trample on. But no, although the Case Study scored a brilliant goal at the end of the first period of 60 minutes by making YJ unable to finish his paper, YJ came back brilliantly in the second half to take the essay in storm.

Weaving his pen from the left to the right of his RJC foolscap, YJ brilliantly fashioned a well-planned essay to ensure that he would not be beaten again. Having failed in his attempts to secure victory or a draw (ie passing) in EVERY SINGLE previous match against the Economics team, this is rendered as a great triumph for YJ as both teams share points. Haha Econs you suck.

Second match
CHEMISTRY 9-0 YJ
Scorers: Stoichio (6'), Atomicstructure (17'), Chembonding (33'), Gaslaws (45'), Redox (63'), Alkene (80'), Arene (96'), Alkane (111'), YJ (own goal, 120th minute)

This result wasn't entirely a surprise, but the score was. It could be said that YJ deserved the loss, for he was quoted as saying that he "couldn't be bothered" to study the videos of Chemistry and thus he hardly knew how they functioned and their tactics. As early as the 6th minute, Stoichio put one past the weak YJ defence, exploiting their poor knowledge of the strikers of the Chemistry team. They only needed two shots on goal (two MCQ questions) to let YJ chase the game.

However, YJ never recovered from that shock. A goal melee resulted right after that, Atomicstructure continuing the rout at the 17th, leaving YJ to scratch his head. Chembonding mercilessly made it 3-0 just at the half-hour mark, confounding YJ to wonder why had he only completed six MCQs, among them five were guesses. And the other was by elimination (not the chemical reaction).

Gaslaws and Redox were quick to capitalise on YJ's demoralised state, making it 5-0 to the Chem paper. Then the famed brothers of the same Organic family - namely Alkene, Arene and Alkane, did some superb teamwork that saw them totally pwn YJ. After YJ spent an hour trying to defend against the efforts of the earlier-mentioned strikers, the Organic brothers displayed superb skill in demolishing the defence yet again, which by now was non-existent.

Put simply, YJ was kind of.. hammered. 0-8 down and after 111 minutes of play, YJ proceeded to the killer Section C, which consisted of 40 marks, more than half the weightage of the paper. With only 9 minutes to try and find an equaliser, it was naturally impossible for YJ to make a comeback. Right at the final whistle, YJ got so bloody pissed he just scored an own goal by ramming the ball violently against his net (using the pen to tear my paper) and tearing off grass from the pitch (tearing one my blank answer scripts).

The terrible display of sportsmanship led YJ to be red-carded. But the (own) goal still stood, and 9-0 it was to the Chemistry team. Looking back on the match, YJ was quoted as saying, "I don't give a f**k. If I submitted Question 3 of Section C with only my name on it, I'm just wasting paper. I'd rather keep it and use it to do my rough workings for Maths (on Thursday). I need it to salvage my overall result."

Wise decision, indeed? Apparently YJ still holds the hope that Question 3 was an invalid question with no answer, and hence his no-response will be deemed as the correct answer. And he hopes to be awarded 12 marks for Question 3 of Section C. We don't know the result yet, but we will wait and see.

So here are the group standings of the "WC" so far.

1st: Chemistry 6 pts (beat Maths 3-0 and YJ 9-0, they simply pwn everyone in their path and looks set to qualify for the next round)

2nd: Mathematics 3 pts (beat Econs 1-0, because they had the crowd cheering for them - ie more people take Maths than Econs - and lost to Chem 3-0)

3rd: Economics 1 pt (drew with YJ 1-1, lost to Maths 1-0)

4th: YJ 1 pt (last because of goal difference.. after that whooping by Chem)

What this means
Chemistry has secured qualification to be champions of the CTs. Mathematics face YJ next, which they think they have a fighting chance because YJ hasn't been sending spies to observe how they work and how they play. Economics has relatively lower chances of qualifying because Chemistry is kicking everyone's benzene arses at the moment. After all the reason as to why the world is so evil is because of Chemistry.

You can never underestimate Chemistry's power. Scored 12 conceded 0. YJ will face Mathematics tomorrow in a last desperate attempt to salvage his CTs. Mathematics's star striker, Integration, comments, "We'll be going all-out to win this one.. and although we are confident in winning, we are also keen not to underestimate YJ who could shock us with the amount of luck he has."

Their goalkeeper, Function, only had this to say - "Victory is in my range, and as YJ is playing the match in my domain (LT1), I will look to inverse YJ's trend of beating Mathematics papers."

Well the world waits with bated breath to see YJ screw that up too. With little preparation for the CTs, YJ will probably be thankful to go home with a point from the Economics match. But like the ball in soccer is round, so is the ball at the tip of his ballpoint pen. Don't write him off yet, let him write himself off as he goes off today, probably making a few tactical changes (ie getting new pens, for instance), and we'll see the final result tomorrow.

Catch the action "live" at LT1 of RJC tomorrow at 1pm. The match will last two hours. See you there.