Find Out Your Friends

There are so many friends around us. Which are your true friends? And which are the evil bastards waiting for the next opportunity to backstab you? The answer to this, as is the answer for everything in RI is, a test. The Test for True Friends.

Materials needed: A blood pill from the joke shop at the top level of Junction 8.
A few evil scheming accomplice that you can test some other time.
A conscience that can be suppressed.
A small degree of shamelessness.
A large degree of guts.

Process:

Choose a place that is not very crowded e.g. the road from j8 to rjc during off-peak hours.
Walk there with your group.
Walk at the back preferably.
Now bite on the pill.
As the blood fills your mouth, get accomplice to scream.
There will be questions asked," Oh my God, what happened to you?"
Gasp out,"I...I bit my tongue"
Further question, "Is it painful?"
Struggle to say, "Ya, I'm fainting"
And crash into someone as though you have.

Results
Traits of a Downright evil backstabber:
The bugger moves away when you crash into him/her so that you fall on the ground.
The observer says," Yucks, it's so gross"
The idiot just moves along with the crowd but in actual fact does nothing.
The asshole says," He's faking it!"

A friend:
Gives you tissue paper.
Tells you you're not going to die and that everything is alright.

A true friend:
Supports you
Calls ambulance/taxi
Searches for a clinic

The test ends:
when someone really calls an ambulance or the like.
if your acting is so bad nobody believes you.
when you realise nobody gives a shit about you as you have no friends.
when your conscience buay tahan as you see the people panicking because of you.

Have fun with the test!