Okay now it seems to be that they not only SEEM to be questioning my ability, they ARE doubting it. Therefore I have no choice but to prove to you that I am not that useless after all. And to make life even more fun, I decided to post it up here so I can show the world what writing essays and proving points is all about. What's more, my essay is argumentative, discursive and narrative all at one go. Bet you can't do that. Now just sit back, shut up, and enjoy.
The essay title was chosen by one of my friends, and obviously he was trying to make things very difficult for me. The cunning fagut chose something far out of my range and my domain, something which he knew if I tried writing an essay on, it would be undefined. It's so un-mathematical, un-chemical, un-economical and worst of all, I had to write it in English - so it's totally out of my subject combi.
And in case you think I'm whining, I present to you his title:
"Studying was more difficult for Greek scholars of ancient times than RJC students of these days. Discuss."
What the hell!? Still I firmly believe that nothing is impossible (except scoring full marks for Chem test), so I set about doing a little bit of research. And ta da, I present you my findings. If you are writing on a similar topic, don't bloody plagiarise because I know this is A-grade work.
I am not here to discuss the damn thing but to strongly oppose the statement. It is bloody obvious that those Greek idiots back there to have it far easier than us, and only a fool will have problems seeing that. Now whoever is marking or reading this, don't try to spit on my paper because one, I typed it out and two, you'll be spitting at your own computer screen you dumb n00b. Just read and agree with me.
Although many might argue that students nowadays might find research easier with the improvement of technology, studying is not all about research. And you have to consider the point that the improvement of technology is because of the earlier people's mugging. Like an exponential graph that approaches zero but never touches the x-axis (try plotting y = 1/x for positive x), the damn thing is an asymptote. So no matter how hard we try, we can never attain knowledge of everything that works in this world. The more advanced we get, the less we improve. If you don't believe me, use your GC and your analytical skills (that's assuming you have them).
If you are a shithead with no analytical skills whatsoever, take my word for it. The more advanced we get, the less we can possibly improve. And hence with Man's amazing advancement in the past 100 years, it is super difficult for us to improve with leaps and bounds anymore. Oh no. Tell a jumper who has broken his own record a hundred times over to jump the 101st time and he will get leg cramps. Precisely what I mean - studying these days gives us brain damage. So don't make us try. Unlike those Greek scholars who start out afresh, we have brains tired out by the constant improvement of technology.
That's my first point - that Greek scholars are fresh while we are not, so those ancient dudes have it easier.
Next, Greece is located in Europe. And in case you didn't know, Europe has four seasons, one of which is called "winter". It is kind of like air-conditioning, and brains have been proven to work better in cold weather than hot (ya so you know why I fail tutorial tests in the gay tutorial rooms?). RJC students, despite their generous donations for the ORA donation card, are chased out of the canteen because VIPs are coming the next day. And what's more, our money is channelled to bloody hell sprucing up the whole campus and making it look good JUST FOR ONE DAY.
So what does this mean? This is where economic concepts come into place. You have unlimited wants and limited resources. Your resource here is money. Now after upgrading the school, you tell me if you have any money left for air-conditioning the classroom? If you say yes, you are obviously a member of the RJC administration. If you say no, then you're intelligent. Evidently there isn't any money left so we don't get simulated cooler climates where our brain works best. With nicer weather and conditions back in Greece (where rtp is 25°C and not bloody 30°C), those Greek brains find it easier to study.
Thirdly, Greek scholars are above the law while RJC students aren't. Let me give you a few examples to show you what I mean. And unless you are shallower than the baby pool in RI's Hong Leong Swimming Complex, I'm pretty sure you can understand what I'm saying.
Now tell me if you know this wanker. He's some man, finding out that we actually take up space. Err wow! (And at least I censored the picture okay!)
Archimedes (阿基米德, or Archie for short)
I am sure you all know the story of Archimedes - where he went into the bathtub and the water started overflowing so he got damn happy and started running out onto the streets naked shouted "Eureka!" Now I don't see why he should be happy because firstly, he would have spilt water all over his bathroom floor and it's damn irritating to clean up and secondly, being of an elderly age I'm sure many people would have shrieked at the sight of a nude Archimedes running along the street. Yucks that's gross and obscene.
Well you might ask how does that relate back to your RJC student. For one, if you run onto the street naked shouting "Eureka" - no one will understand you. And before you know it, you'll have people in blue uniform surrounding you and asking what on earth are you doing on the streets without your fabric. Then the next thing you know, you're up in court for outraging of modesty and indecent exposure. And to cap it all off, woots you get to spend some time behind bars.
Now think about yourself and Archimedes. Little Archie of Greek origin was then hailed as one of the greatest scientists in the world, while you'd probably end up as Top Eccentric Convict. How's that for an argument, it's obviously tougher to be studying here when you can't even celebrate your achievements.
I forgot the name of this guy, but apparently he is some great Greek mathematician who was caught in the middle of the war. Err never mind.
X (or Greek Mathematician for short)
The reason why I'm naming him X is because he's a mathematician and the precise, delicate subject of Mathematics concerns very much of this little variable called X. So let's call him X. I'm sorry I forgot his name, but well you should know who I mean. This guy was still doing his Maths tutorial even though the Romans were invading the Greeks, and even when they barged through the door he was begging them to let him complete the proof.
Wa so hardworking I wonder if I'll be like that when I'm 72? Shit forget that.
Of course the Romans were being bloody faguts and they just finished him off. But at least he had the chance to beg the Romans to let him complete the proof. In modern warfare, do you think they'll still barge in your door? Fat hope. You'd more likely be bombed in an air raid or get plane-crashed by some crazy terrorists. Either way, you won't get any warning before you are about to die and hence may not even die with the knowledge of what happened to you. Now that's the sad facts of life for you. At least the Greeks knew when they were going to die and they could at least rush through the last part to salvage some marks.
And uh, which is kind of like the end of a Maths test. If you know that time is running out, you'll just secure all the marks you think you can get for free. Modern day RJC students have no such privilege. So yet again the Greeks have it easier than us.
So you think Kenneth Low was being original with his Philo powerpoint slides? Well I got that same pic too HAHA that N00B!!
Socrates (or Socy for short)
Erm please note that "Socy" can be pronounced "Socky" - kind of like Mrs Chan Sock Chia's nickname back in RI, but that's not the point. My point here is that good old Socrates (now dead) was a damn good philosopher, but was put to death because the Greek government needed a scapegoat when they lost the war to the Romans (really, they never learn their lessons, always kena whooped by the Romans). And this picture was just before he died, or at least that's what my Philo teacher, Mr Kenneth "I-like-sex-in-the-bathtub" Low used to say.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Kenneth Low, but I do have something against Socrates. Look carefully at the picture.. and tell me what finger is he pointing. And he probably got away with it since he's some old Greek fagut! Try doing that in RJC, and you'll get no less than ONE white slip. Meaning if you do that gesture continuously four times in public, you'll be off with a FAIR conduct. Well, and as we all know, Socrates was proclaimed to be one of the greatest, if not the greatest, philosopher in the world.
Who pointed a middle finger before his death. What the heck?!
Another thing that we should note was that he was put to death by drinking poison, which is very much NOT in accordance to the UN Human Rights Act. But in Singapore, treason is punishable by hanging, which is also very much inhuman. Either way, both are inhuman so we have to compare the degree of inhumanness. Now in drinking poison, you get to die more comfortably, for your throat will be wet and you'll get to taste some liquid. Unlike hanging where you start to choke and your throat gets dry. Which is worse? Obviously hanging. The Greek scholar or the Singaporean RJC student has it worse? Obviously the Singaporean RJC student.
Thus, with all the three points above and my highly relevant examples, I can conclude that the statement "studying was more difficult for Greek scholars of ancient times than RJC students of these days" can be thrown out of the window. That is certainly not the case because compared with what we face now, those Greek scholars worked as if they were in heaven. Okay granted they ARE in heaven now, but you get my drift.
RJC students face more difficulties studying ANY DAY as compared to a Greek scholar. Unless the day is chosen before 1988, when the current RJC students have not been born yet (and the result = undefined). Otherwise, this situation very much holds true. So don't argue with me, you can't do it and you know it.
No comments:
Post a Comment