where's the best prata in town?

Have you ever wondered where's the best prata in town? You prata guide brings you a review of the best prata places available.

1. Jalan Kayu Roti Prata.

The first thing that you will notice when you step into Jalan Kayu will be the numerous shops all claiming to be the authentic Jalan Kayu Roti Prata shop. Even two different shops lined up side by side can claim that they are the authentic prata shop. Well fear not!

The real one, i think, is called Thasevi Jalan Kayu Roti Prata. The one besides it also claims to be the authentic roti prata shop but i dont think it is. The point is, it doesnt matter cause the pratas from both shops taste the same.

Down the road there are alot more of prata shops that are worth the money. Of course the Milo Godzilla at the very first shop is a must try.

Just think of how mega big your milo dinosaur can possibly and times the size by MANY MANY times and lots of milo on top and you will get MILO GODZILLA! ROAR!!!

Okay to the stupid prata. The point is, Jalan Kayu roti prata does not taste as nice as you think they do. They come in small sizes and portions. The curry there is just so-so. Furthermore, it is located like in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of SLE to be exact. So unless you have no where else to go i suggest you dont go there.

But one plus point, Jalan Kayu Roti Prata opens 24 hours a day. That is if you can find a decent spot to park there without getting a traffic ticket.

2. Thomson Prata House

Eh this prata house is not bad shial. Located along thomson road, the prata is definitely better than the one at Jalan Kayu. Plus i like the shop keeper there. His memory is like da bomb.

" Uncle, we want...
9 Milo Dinosaurs
10 kosong prata
3 cheese prata
4 egg prata
2 mushroom prata
1 mutton murtabak
1 fried chicken
1 mushroom cheese prata"

Uncles nods his head repeatedly

"Eh uncle you no need to take down ah?"

Uncles waves his hands and points to his head. Presumbly to tell us that he has got good memory.

10 mins later

" Uncle where's my egg prata?"
" Uncle where's my cheese prata?"
" Uncle you forgot my fried chicken!"

30 mins later
" Uncle, bill please"

"Okay tell me what you ate."

"Erh. we ate...
8 kosong prata
1 cheese prata
2 mushroom prata
9 milo dinosaurs

that's all."

"OKAY! THAT WILL BE $15.00!"

No lah we didnt cheat that poor uncle. But it happened you know.

3. Casurina Curry

Casurina Curry is located further down Thomson Road. They are the the only shop that has aircon but the food there is like mother expensive. But they are the only shop around that has aircon and a better ambience.

But Casurina Curry has like one of the weirdest menus and shop keepers around.

Here's what happened when ck, sherwin, jem, ren and i went there. Might have been more people arnd but cant remember exactly who went.

Uncle: "Eh what drinks do you all want?"
Yh: " Tea with ice"
Uncle: " Taaacce?"
Yh: " Huh? Tea with ice!"
Uncle: "Taaace?"
Yh: " Tea with ice! aiyah yah lah taaace!"

As we looked at the menu, we saw this:
Sardine Murtabak $5.00
Sardine Murtabak MR $6.00

First question asked: " Uncle what is murtabak?"
Response: " eh murtabak..big."
Second question asked: "Oh okay so what is MR?"
Response: " eh MR...big?"
Third question asked: " Oh so murtabak big, MR also big. Which one bigger?"
Response: "Both big."

We got the idea and we stopped asking. But if you have the money do try it out and see how big it gets.

After a while we ordered our food. We ordered the weird stuff like mushroom with cheese, mushroom with egg, egg with cheese, cheese only etc

So after the food was delivered, we specialy ask the uncle to identify the different pratas so that we will get what we ordered.

1 min after eating
"Eh where did my mushroom go?"
"Eh how come my one no egg!?"
"Oi wrong lah u ate mine! My one has egg but no cheese."
"No cant be! I didnt order mushroom with cheese! How come there's mushroom with cheese?"
" Are you sure this yellow stuff is cheese? Not egg?"
" Where's my egg!? OH OH OH I FOUND MY MUSHROOM! But still wrong prata!"
" So who's prata did i eat? No one's?"

Okay they are QUITE organized lah. Other than that the food is not bad though.





Okay so that's all for today and stay happy everyone!

Burning!

I think my clothes are gonna boil before they get dry.

And cracks are starting to show in my school uniform.

The glass of my window has fallen off because it expands slower than the window frame.

I'm afraid the area below my block is a huge mess. Poor cleaners.

Anyway we couldn't blog last night because YH and I were under oath (Councillor's oath) to follow orders and we weren't allowed to go home. Neither are we allowed to divulge what activities are we involved in so no comment there. YL the slacker went for a jazz concert.. and decided to abandon the blog for one night. Oh well.

Back to the topic, I think the weather sucks. Will you all please stop contributing to bloody global warming (literally), because when the weather gets hot, my window glass falls off and people die if they are walking beneath the block (seriously they're dumb but STILL I FEEL GUILTY!!)

This can only lead to two things:
1) Even less people in Singapore, which doesn't help our aging population.
2) Desertification in Singapore, which would suck because we'd have to import more water from Malaysia at exorbitant rates. And get our national economy down.

Thus, you better start doing your part in saving the environment today. I will lead the way and start using solar panels to power my computer, hence reducing the use of electricity. So don't say that I'm only spouting rubbish without any evidence okay.. I lead by example.

Start putting out solar panels now and reduce your electricity consumption. If you feel hot, don't turn on the aircon as that will just contribute to worse weather. I suggest that you all collect rainwater (it rains frequently nowadays anyway) and splash it on yourself in times of trouble like now. Don't save for a rainy day. Save on a rainy day.

Then maybe you'd find that the process of global warming might slow down a bit.. what to do, even though we might seem like cocksters, we do care about the environment.

So you'd better do your part today. Okay the sun doesn't seem as strong now, I have to stop blogging before the electricity runs out. There are many exciting developments going on in school next week, I'll be updating you all soon hahahaha byebye!

ggx x-country

I felt damn man today, so I decided to join yj's x-country training. No shit man, I just found out the difference between the track team and the cross country team. The difference is that the track team runs on the running track while the x-country team runs on the field to simulate country conditions. Dunno what kind of screwed up country is that though.

And today, the sky was kind enough to give us lots of rain, so the whole field became a stinking mudbath. So my shoes and socks and pants and shirt ggxx, got whooped by my mother cos my t-shirt looked more like a sheet of shit than cotton.

The running was quite mundane, except for the splat splat sound as our feet sank into the shit. And except for the "seldom" water breaks. Water never tasted so good.

Round and round and round the field
Sometimes slow and sometimes fast
And trying my best not to finish last.

That just about summarises the training for today. Oh there were still the push ups and the sit ups. But I'm starting to hate sit-ups, cos I just can't sit up. The sky looks so blue and beautiful when I lie down that i simply don't feel like getting up. And my once-faithful one-pack has been betraying me. From 58 sit-ups in secondary 3, it has degenerated into 44 for this year. Feel so flabby now even though i ain't.

After training, it was quite dark and there were lots of bugs bugging us. And in the end we found fun in watching a live nature documentary as 2 fat lizards on the wall had a feast devouring the bugs. It was quite addictive, I recommend boliao pple to stay in school late into the evening to observe this phenomena first-hand. Or tcs should organise some stupid thing like lizard-watching expedition.

The important thing is that I survived this training session. Hopefully I'll still be able to walk tomorrow.

PI (Tradition)

We are always willing to lend a helping hand for those who are willing to borrow our helping hand. Since YL has already blogged about Momentum and some people still need inspiration for their PIs, I will offer an alternative for all of you loyal readers.

So if you do not wish to do on Momentum (which is perfectly understandable since it's a rubbish topic), you could try your luck at Tradition, which I will touch on now. It's just as rubbishy a topic as Momentum, but you get choice here, you see? After all, two rubbish choices are better than one rubbish choice. If you handed in your PI already, sad case because you would have to copy YL's draft on Momentum.

But if you haven't had PW yet, congratulations!! At least now you have a choice. I'm not discrediting YL's work okay. Just that two brains are better than one, no matter how much nonsense is in the brain.

Without further ado.. presenting to you my neat, sleek and wonderful PI on Tradition.

Preliminary Idea (PI)
Topic chosen: Task 2 - Tradition

Development chosen: Coming late for school

Description of tradition:
- A very popular habit by RI/RJC students, especially those who tend to oversleep or have stomachaches early in the morning. Including myself, of course.

- Means coming in long after the bell rings at 7:40am, where “long after” is often used to describe a period of more than five minutes. If you are the “kiasu” type and want to be 100% sure in being late, then come ten minutes after 7:40am. Results guaranteed.

Characteristics of this tradition:
- Students get more sleeping time at home and thus will sleep less in class.

- In the case of stomachaches, students will not have any bowel-related problems in school, unlike when they rush to be in time for school.. then they would most probably wind up going to the toilet every few minutes.

- Because of the tremendous benefits gained by students, the tradition has not only persisted, but is becoming more and more popular. Steady, man!

Suggestions to adapt this to general RJC society:
- Instead of giving out white slips for being late, it should be encouraged as being late promotes a more relaxed and healthy lifestyle. Too much stress is not good for one’s health – and at the rate RJC is dishing out homework (ie very fast in case you didn’t know), it would be good that we lower the stress level of the poor students in the morning.

- Acknowledgement slips (yellow) to be given out if you are late. The system works as such, minutes are given as time after 7:40am:

0-15 minutes: 1 slip
15-45 minutes: 2 slips
45-90 minutes: 3 slips
>90 minutes: 4 slips

- And then of course the more slips you get, the better your testimonial is. Plus if you get more than 100 slips in a term, you get the “Student With Best Stress Management” Award.

- Not to mention you get personal satisfaction from coming late.

- We should also give slips to teachers who come late.. the later they are the more bonuses they get. Pay rises are expected to be handed out to teachers who have the most slips. If they miss their first lesson, they will get an additional (monetary) bonus other than the one meant for accumulating slips.

How it benefits society:
- Stated above and I hate repeating myself.

Feasibility and manageability:
- It will most certainly work, and I’ve this feeling many students will love the idea. I think some teachers would too.. only they would not dare to publicly admit it. Oh well, their loss.

Information accessibility:
- How to print out many yellow slips within such a short period of time (so good, must be implemented asap).

- How to construct an efficient system in giving out the number of slips (could we design a machine to be put at every entrance of the school or something?)

- Survey on whether the students want it or not (how come I get this feeling they want it.)

- Interview Mr. Winston Hodge (that’s primary information by the way), principal of RJC.

-----END OF PI-----

Okay that's my PI. Neat eh. At last count without headings it was quite a bit less than 500 words, so I just added a few words in here and there. Shouldn't make too big a difference even if it exceeds - because the idea is just so brilliant that 1) no one would have thought of it (except me) and 2) the teacher will award you Exceeding Expectations right after he/she reads the first part. Look, it's just too damn brilliant a PI to reject.

But if you do use it, please state your source okay. After all they did mention in the papers that plagiarism will be DEALT WITH SEVERELY. So copy if you must, get your good grades for PW if you must (ya right 5% only lol), but you MUST state source.

Now that I've shared my ingenious idea with you, good luck for your PI. May PW be a very fruitful learning journey for you! (Because after this you can start slacking and relying on your group =D)

important

FREE FLOW of ICE CREAM
FREE FLOW of ICE CREAM
FREE FLOW of ICE CREAM
FREE FLOW of ICE CREAM
FREE FLOW of ICE CREAM

date: 27th april 2006, this thursday

venue: block c, level 4, open space outside lt1 (wet weather: hall)

time: 7pm-9pm

details: free flow of 15 flavours of ice cream, screening of 'Hot Chick', hot chick costume contest with expensive food vouchers as prizes, under the stars, under the stars, gorgeous sky when the sun sets, free flow of ice cream... (: best of all, free admission!

so come along with your og (im speaking especially to BW ogls *big smile*), friends, classmates, cca mates, other halves, other friends to have fun at the party with (hopefully) many hot chicks (dressed up decently, of course) and just relax under the stars!! priority will be given to BW members btw... cos space is limited! any questions can just ask yong neng (91152826) or ryan (91855501) or velda (91171690)





DANCE NIGHT TICKETS
DANCE NIGHT TICKETS
DANCE NIGHT TICKETS
DANCE NIGHT TICKETS
DANCE NIGHT TICKETS
DANCE NIGHT TICKETS
DANCE NIGHT TICKETS
DANCE NIGHT TICKETS

ANYONE WANTS TWO TICKETS FOR DANCE NIGHT? FRIDAY $16.

AA or BB row. Good seats. Front rows. $16 bucks. but we are selling for more than $16. anyone who wants the tickets please contact chenkai or me when u see us in sch or u can tag and leave ur contact details.

LES interview

Hi I'm back.

Before I say anything let me congratulate YL on his hat-trick.. three posts in a row undisrupted. Today he seemed pretty happy claiming that he set his own record having three posts in a row, and yes aren't we all very happy for him yay!!

Well some of you might be asking me to blog about Council camp but I'm afraid (actually I'm not) I will not. This is because 1) there is nothing worth noting, 2) anything worth noting are mostly inside jokes anyway and 3) it will take too long and I am still sleep-deficient. Hello you think I go to Council camp to catch up on my sleep? DUH NO. I came in there a boy and I came out of it..

..a stronger boy. Even though with lots of physical activity I gained weight. Then the reason suddenly dawned on me - that I must have grown muscles overnight. So the next time you think you are losing weight because you just went to get your arse whooped in a camp, think again. Muscle mass is heavier than fats. But this is random so let's get on to the main point of my post today.

As you can see, the title is titled LES interview. This means that I went for the Language Elective Scholarship interview today, along with YL who went only in the afternoon because our interview slots were at different times.

Ya you can stop laughing now. I'm not joking although I know it really seems like I am. Even though we might seem like French delinquents who can't speak French, we.. uh.. actually do. And anyway whoever signed up for the interview automatically gets in so yes. And the whole interview is in English so yes. Does that explain a lot of things to you now?

If it doesn't, you're an idiot. Just read on.

Having getting my bones dismantled from Council camp, I was feeling kind of weak the next morning. And since I got a blue slip (it's all pre-planned) and already told my teacher that I wasn't going to turn up, I did not. I just went direct to Buona Vista, MOE building for the interview and guess what I was like half an hour early. So I just sat down and twiddled my thumbs which was kinda dumb because I got pwned later. I felt I should have thought more about it.

The interview went something like this. Thank goodness it wasn't in French so I don't have to translate for you.

Basically there were four people there, just to intimidate you. It's like playing Gunbound 4v4 then suddenly all your teammates leave and the game starts. Four versus one, I started to prepare for trouble. It came fast and swift and Person No. 1 fired the first salvo. Not to mention since I was the first interviewee they came out with all guns blazing.

Legend:
I1 for Interviewer 1 (principal of VJC)
I2 for Interviewer 2 (some big shot from North 2)
I3 for Interviewer 3 (another big shot)
I4 for Interviewer 4 (MOELC Head of French)
M for me who got intimidated and pwned like mad

I1: Why do you think you deserve the scholarship, and why you should go to France (subsidised by the scholarship?)
M: Because I think you can tell from my French results that I'm.. uh.. not very good in the subject. I badly need to get to France to pull up my grades. And also it's because I have an immense love for the subject, which is why I need to buck up.

I2: With your subject combination, what do you want to be in the future?
M: My subject combination reflects nothing. In case you didn't know, I have a blog that I update regularly. I'll give you the website now (*takes paper and scribbles*).. and next time when I leave school I can devote all my time in blogging. YAY!!

I1: Are you serious?
M: Yes I am.

I4: What do you think are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?
M: My greatest strengths are my legs. I can tread water like no one else can because I trained four years as a god-damn keeper and I hold the record for the National Youth Team "B" Treading With 10kg Weights Competition, beating James Miao by a narrow margin of 0.2 seconds. But my weakness lies in my arms.. because when it comes to pullups I so totally suck at it that I'm the weakest in the whole waterpolo team in secondary school. The runner-up for the legs competition, James, totally owns me in my arms. I'd say that's my weakness.

I2: What are the differences between Singapore's and France's society? (pissed off)
M: Our weather sucks so much more than over there.. at least they have some cool weather at times, so they don't have to turn on the damn aircon. I tell you, there's a reason why we have such high electricity consumption and it's all thanks to the stupid weather.

I3: So you would like to go overseas for your university education?
M: Go? I'd like to STAY overseas. I'll never come back to Singapore man!

I1, I4: Get lost.
M: Okay. (*leaves room*)

They still kept the blog address though.

Haha I hope I get the scholarship now. The interview transcript that I published is a half-truth.. because I kind of forgotten the rest in between. Whether you believe it or not, I don't care. I want my sleep! Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!

Fun with Stikfas!

Stikfas figures are really damn fun, if you use a little creativity.








Here's a mad bitch who has just beheaded another bitch and is holding the head on her left hand. Why the corpse is still standing is anyone's guess.










And here is Queen Kong with those huge arms and the funky hairdo. Queen Kong is very hungry, so she decides to go get some food. She chances upon a lovely young lady playing a saxophone. The music entranced her, and a big fat tear rolls down her hairy cheeks. But "grumble" went her stomach and *slurp*.










So she lunges towards the innocent young girl and overpowers her!










Queen Kong tows the hapless victim away. Or this might be a scene from WWE.










A warm hug from Queen Kong to the saxophone-playing girl right before gobbling her up. Queen Kong always hugs her food before eating it.









This is the boyfriend of the saxophone-playing gal. He was so sad upon learning of her death that he hanged himself. Such a tragic love story. But then all great stories are tragic, like Titanic and Brokeback Mountain. Thus this is a great story.

Photography and directing by Matthew, whose blog can be found in the links section.

Frustration

yh and yj are at councillors' camp this weekend, so poor angela would have to wait. And so here I am again, with my principal investigation still undone. I've got the basic idea, but I'm not going to post it here. It's so good that I know some of you will sure kope it. Thus I give you a chance to your brains. But here's a hypothetical one. and it might just work

Choice of topic: momentum

Development and Benefits

Blogging has been on the rise since the internet first started and to date there are millions of blogs made by millions of people. It has decreased the world suicide rate by 99% by allowing screwed up people to vent their frustrations online and feel better. However as with all action there is an opposite and equal reaction. Hence there has been a 99% increase in the number of people who die choking after reading the shit that people post on their blogs. Some other benefits are that you can bitch on your blogs as long as they are not teachers politicians or people of other races or people who will sue you or people who will whack you, oh wait that's practically everyone. So in the end, blogging is just fun. (fun!) Hence we have to preserve this trend.

Reasons for choosing this topic

I think blogging should be encouraged because it trains you to think creatively and refines your sense of humour. You will also get the chance to find out if your writing sucks.(pple make fun of your blog on their blogs. I did it once long long ago. You can read the archives to find out.) Everyone should have a blog. If everyone had a blog, the world would be a better place, somehow. (this sentence can use for any topic. Just substitue the word 'blog') That's why blogs should be further promoted.

Proposed Course of Action

I paid blogger to tell people to start blogs. That's why you see all the advertisements telling everyone to start a blog. cos i paid blogger. Besides, I'm going to start a blog to tell everyone to start blogs as well. I lead by example. Sure work one.

Feasibility of Project

It's feasible. Adidas says "Impossible is nothing". So this is feasible. cos adidas sell more shoes than you sell tissue paper.

Manageability of the project

Nike says Just Do It so why the hell are we still caring about senseless stuff like that. Just let me Do It la.

Accessibility of Information

My information is very accessible. All I need is http://talkcocksummit.blogspot.com and everything will be alright. And the world would be a better place.

The weather

Last night there was a full moon. Or was it last last night? Well it doesn't matter. It was sooo white and big and round and beautiful(think straight). But as with most things, there's a dark side. Ever heard of werewolves? Now you know why your boyfriend/girlfriend stopped messaging you that night.

Now on to the topic proper. It's possible to tell emotions from the weather. Trust me. And when the weather has emotions, do well to follow. Don't make the guy up there angry. It may also imply that you have cause to feel that emotion, even though you may not yet know that cause. So just play safe.

Windy
You feel cold. Your fingers and toes feel numb, as if they're going to get frostbite. How? Blame Poon Weiren that coolio. What you should feel: unloved and lonely. Maybe it's because your best friend just stabbed you in the back or your own mother is cursing you. Or maybe your teacher just marked your paper and you got a big fat moon. Whatever it is, it's nothing good. So enjoy the wind blowing you and go fly a kite. What you should do: Go buy some tissue paper, you'll need it soon. Oh, and a kite.
Wacky things to do:
Face the wind, now open your mouth wide and swallow the clean fresh air. Challenge your friends to see how many mouthfuls you can swallow before you puke!

Sunny
Oh my, it's hot! Blame Sherwin. Your shirt smells like some stink bomb cos of your sweat. The radiation radius of your body odour is 10 metres. Because of this, you may think that everyone hates you and that life is not worth living. Bbbuuuutttt, that's not the case because the sun is smiling benignly upon you and everyone only hates you for that b.o. What you should feel: happy! Smile as flowers bloom and everything becomes vibrant and alive. Of course, sunny=happy doesn't apply to sub-saharan africa that is facing drought and famine. But if you're reading this from Africa, I'm touched. I should then rename this to TCS International.
What to do:
Run 2.4 (what better way to exercise and suntan at the same time?)
Really wacky things to do:
Stare at the sun (trains your eyesight, makes myopia go away)
Build a ladder to reach the sun

Rainy
Wet n Wild! No but this is the time to feel really sad. tears=water, rain=water, therefore rain=teardrops. Rainy days are really tragic.
Wacky things to do:
the lightbulb experiment, where you hold a wire attached to a flying kite.
Rain dance
Go wet n wild. If you're outside and you're wet anyway, why not?

How to win a match

Some say luck is not important. Some say skills' everything that you need to win a match. Well I dont actually think so. Luck, to a certain extent, is extremely important too.

Well, that's why i'm here to teach you how to be lucky.

Alright let's just assume that our match starts at 2pm at some far away place.

So your coach will want you to be there by 1pm to warm up right?

Which also means you got to leave at around 12.30pm right?

Right!

So which means you will probably come out for your so called pre-match preparation by 9am. Okay let's assume that we have 3 hours. What are we gonna do?

The first and most important thing to do is to sleep. Where else can you get a good and comfortable sleep except in the library?

Well, the catch is that how you sleep and where you sleep matters.
I wont say im the expert in fengshui, but trust me what i tell has worked and will work.

1. When you sleep, sleep on the soft sofas. Some sofas are bloody hell hard. Now when you sleep on those hard sofas, you cannot sleep well. And when you cannot sleep well, you will feel tired. Tired means you will lose.
2. And when you dont sleep well, you increase the chances of you having nightmares. Nightmares right before the match are bad.
3. Sleep on the sofa with the tiger/leopard fur. It will give you strength!
4. When you sleep, you are bound to listen to your ipod/whatever. Now the choice of your songs is extremely important as well. As much as possible try listening to songs that will hype you up like "We are the champions" etc. Do not at all cost listen to love songs because love songs make you feel sad. When you are sad you cannot play well and you will lose!
5. Do not face the sun when you sleep. If you face the sun directly when you sleep, you will find that you cannot see properly after you have woke up.

okay all in all, follow these rules and you will get a good lucky rest. Rest for about an hour or so. Any longer than that you will pass the auspicious hour and your luck will go downhill. Remember, an hour and twenty eight minutes(88), not more not less.

Now after you are awake, you will be hungry.

So make your way to the canteen and have a good lunch.

Banannas are a good source of carbo and you should get plenty of them.
Chocolates are to be avoided at all cost till half an hour before the match. Now here's something scientific. Alright chocolate contains lots of sugar so if you eat too much you will feel like you are on viagra but just that the match is still 2 hours away. You think you can sustain? You will feel as if you have drunk the world's most powerful Tongkat Ali but sadly that dont last.

Alright. Now be extremely careful of the food you eat. Dont eat any vegetables. This is due to the fact that the chinese pronounciation for vegetable is SU1 CAI4. So since you do not want to SU1(lose) then dont eat vegetables.

Eat plenty of rice. Will explain that later.

Okay let's assume that you take one whole hour for your lunch eh? Now you have one hour left before you leave for the match.

Now this is an extremely important time.

Make or break.

Now listen carefully.

You have to do this yourself there's only that much i can help you.

Basically you need to know how long you need to shit.

Im not joking.

Okay, here's the situation. You will have to time how long you will need to shit. If you need half an hour to shit and change up then please spend the first half an hour talking cock or reading the newspapers. When it is time to shit, please go and shit.

There's a toilet right beside LT2 behind the door. We call it the sacred toilet. If 3 pple shit at the same time in that same toilet, you are mostly to get good luck. However if your people shit in that toilet at the same time, you are mostly to die for the match. This is because 4 in chinese means die. And i think there's only 3 cubicles so i dont know how's the 4th guy gonna answer the call of nature.

Now why should you pass out all your motion before the match.

Study physics right. Let's assume F=ma.
Let's take for example a runner. The force he can exerts has a limit right. Let's say on that day he exerts his maximum force. So if you shit, you pass some stuff out of your body, you will feel lighter right? And your mass decreases right?? RIGHT!

So by that formula, your acceleration will be higher!
It works the same as drinking MILO, you will run faster, swim faster, run higher and throw harder.

And we also know energy required= 1/2 mv^2
So we know that our body can supply a certain amount of energy right. Work out that equation again and you will find out that when your mass is lighter your velocity will be faster.

AGAIN! It's just like drinking MILO. We are not swimmers, we are dolphins! We are not runners we are...erh... cheetahs!

and yah the more rice you eat, the more you shit.

Now once you are at your match venue, get one of this and start shining the whole venue. I highly suspect that your opponent might have used voodoo dolls. But dont worry, this is enough to deal with them all. If it is not, then come look for me we will work something out.

Good luck!

How to ace NAPFA

This is NAPFA week so I'm here to offer you some tips on how you get to ace NAPFA. Of course, you might not be feeling good or anything.. but my solution requires no level of fitness. All you need is good relationships with ALL your classmates, in case of emergency.

So. Here's the ownage method.

SIT-UPS
Before that stinky PE teacher has a chance to say "no count", you start whacking 20 sit-ups at one go. Now if you cannot even do that then you really have some problem. After which you get your partner to continue counting at the constant rate that he was counting at, and you will just stay up for a bit when the teacher looks away. Okay that doesn't sound very effective, but you don't need to cheat to get your A in sit-ups. The only way is via your friends, and it's only when you're seriously desperate and sad.

STANDING BROAD JUMP
This might be slightly harder to cheat, but it's not impossible. Your takeoff should not only propel you forward, but in jumping off try shifting the mat backwards using your legs as leverage. Use your toes to push the mat back and leap forward. If you do it properly you'll gain a whole 15cm extra. Or at least I did. There's nothing to lose if you do that, because it's not against the rules anyway. If your PE teacher interferes, tell him to STFU.

PULL-UPS
This one also a bit hard to cheat, but with a strong mind (and stronger arms) it's not really impossible. Use rebounding motion when you go down for the next pull up. And don't go down all the way, it's a waste of energy, just slightly more than 90 degress will do. If you do it fast enough and your PE teacher doesn't see it, all is well and good. If he does but you're still doing it crazy fast, he won't have the heart to remove so many "no count" pull-ups from you. But if you are damn heavy and really cannot do a pull up, then go take Slim 10.

SHUTTLE RUN
This one is best to cheat, especially with short timings. Go plan with the guy doing the shuttle run before you, and tell him to place the blocks slightly before the line. Now if you think that doesn't help, think again. The PE teacher won't bother to check so long it looks like it's on the line. Then of course the false start tactic always works. After "standby", say "shuttle run" quickly and you can be off - it's been proven to work. The PE teacher will say "go" anyway, and being Rafflesians, we ought to be creative thinkers and pioneers. So why bother waiting for the sign, just take action yourself!

SIT AND REACH
This one is obviously easiest to cheat and everyone knows it. Common sense tells you not to stretch your arms at full stretch at the start, and align the length of your feet with the ground. Somehow it gives you an advantage. You can take off your shoes to have psychological advantage, but it's pointless if you cheat then and there. Leave your fingernails long. And make sure your legs aren't cramped. Autowin.

2.4KM RUN/WALK
This is the most exciting segment of NAPFA, most undeniably. Some run, some walk, some do both. Well the oldest trick in the book is to hide behind the long jump pit or whatever it is at the other side of the track, then join back suddenly. If there are lap scorers GGXX. The other way is to fall down, vomit and do whatever you can to gain sympathy. So you can get excused from this round of NAPFA and do it another day when you feel better. It's even more effective if you run damn fast for the first round and collapse, the PE teachers will think you're damn pro. Okay enough said, just have fun.

Disclaimer: This only works if you are a mediocre student aiming to get Gold for NAPFA. If you are the hopeless kind that weighs 90kg with no muscles whatsoever, then trying out these tactics might be hazardous for your health. Plus, with your sort of size I doubt it's that easy to hide. Hopefully I'll change the world after this. Here's to a fitter RJC!

If you get caught by your PE teacher, it's not my fault. And if they're not effective, you're just incompetent. Of course there are better methods to be revealed, but I'll save that for next year's NAPFA.

Excuse me!

Walao eh I wanna complain la! yj's previous posts have just sullied my reputation as some model student. Now i'm like some big-time slacker, which I obviously am not. Anyway I think i've matured in the past few days. I realised that slacking is bad, not doing all your homework is even worse, but the worst is when the french teacher didn't even care haha! Lol how can he give up on me just like that. Make me prepare all my excuses for nothing, and they're so wonderfully creative.

Excuse 1: My classmate got jealous of my excellent work and ate it. *points at someone you don't like*

Excuse 2: Council campaigning. ya i campaigning against someone i dun like. Damn busy la have to put up anti-campaign posters.

Excuse 3: I was too busy doing assessment books being the hardworking person that I am

Excuse 4: The assignment was so difficult i couldn't help crying and i wet the whole assignment and now i can't do it *shows him wet assignment*

Excuse 5: My mama was caning me and wouldn't allow me to do my work. For the whole of last week. Ouch my butt hurts.

Excuse 6: The assignment was so precious to me that i put them in my safe deposit box and couldn't bear to take them out.

Excuse 7: It wasn't an auspicious week laa.

I shall stop at 7. because 7 is an auspicious number as it is david beckham's jersey number.

Our chat logs

A typical conversation on MSN between YL and I - both of us survivors of the FFRG, the French Front Row Gang.

So we naturally will talk about our near-death experiences. The conversation usually can be split up into three parts, let me show you.

Firstly: INTRODUCTION

(Usually it's me that initiates the convo, as a motivated boy)

YJ: Have you done your French homework? (which means I didn't)
YL: Huh what homework is there?
YJ: (starts listing the never ending amount)
YL: Got meh? Did you do?
YJ: Err no.

Then: ANXIETY

(As I only talk to him the night before French lesson..)

YL: Shit how? Due tomorrow is it? (or "today" if after 12am)
YJ: I think so. LOL
YL: Is it graded?
YJ: I think so. LOL
YL: Wa.. does it take very long to do?
YJ: I think so. LOL (as you can see I'm going crazy)
YL: Monsieur Chan (our teacher) must think we're some delinquents.
YJ: Ya duh.

Finally: RESIGNATION

YL: So how? Tomorrow go library do ah?
YJ: No other choice. Guess so.
YL: Okay.
YJ: Wa I think need a lot of time to do le.
YL: Die liao la..
YJ: F**k ya I think we're dead.
YL: Is it graded? (for confirmation)
YJ: Ya we can all get zero already.
YL: Is there any other work I can do to get marks?
YJ: Err I think all are overdue already.
YL: Wa then I get zero already lor!
YJ: Shit ya. Aiya fail already la!

Then we start thinking of excuses to give for not doing work.

Such is the life of two little n00bs trying to be smart and taking H2 French.

Jack and Jill

Right.. before we plunge into another week of darkness in RJC and before I think up of more excuses to cook up for not posting, let me tell you a story. (Kinda sounds like Mario Wong, ex-HM of RI eh..?)

This story might seem very familiar to you, but I know more than you think I know of it. And I'm telling you this story now because I think I'd be very busy during the week, as specified above. BUT. Before you proceed, I would like to remind you to read YH's post on the truth about life, which you can find below this post. Don't just read the story and then happily close the window.. that's not in accordance with society's moral values.

So just remember to read YH's post when you're done here. Simply because I believe all readers of TCS have high moral standards. Even if you don't, take this as your chance to make it to society's upper echelons. Okay I'm crapping now, so on to the story.

Well, I'm sure all of you would have heard of Jack and Jill, right? As in not the potato chips brand, but also about the nursery rhyme. Actually, these two jokers do exist in real life. In fact, both of them are my acquaintances and they wanted me to write their biographies. Well since I haven't have had much sleep for the past few days and since I figured I look scary enough now, I decided to be their ghost writer. I hereby name the biography "The Truth about Jack and Jill".

I have gained much valuable experience from writing biographies in RI (haha trust me I know A LOT about it), thanks to my 'biographical' partners James and Danny, as well as my English teacher Mrs. Patricia Nathan. They all played a big role in helping me learn, so now I believe I am thoroughly proficient in writing one. Of course, it might not be perfect, but hell, nothing is. So just sit back, and relax.

Presenting to you..

THE TRUTH ABOUT JACK AND JILL

Contrary to popular belief, Jack and Jill weren't little kids anymore. They had grown up. To protect the identity of the two afore-mentioned jokers, we will use fake names. Of course they might be real, but you wouldn't know if they were real anyway!! Haha in fact I should just use their real names and say it's fake so you will suspect everyone (to be Jack/Jill) except the person whose name I used right? Well that's a possibility and a tactic I might employ - so you could keep guessing.

But basically, Jack is a J4 named CK.

And Jill is a J1 named LL.

Now don't ask me to tell you if that's their initials or their real names, because the answer is so damn obvious! And don't ask me what CK stands for, I'll just tell you Calvin Klein and LL simply stands for Lai Lin. As in our dear Year Head 4 that loved us all so much.

You get my point. Don't ask me any questions. Now back to the story.

Contrary to popular belief, Jack and Jill were not siblings. They were classmates in a certain JC in the Bishan-Ang Mo Kio area. Which is somewhat a cross-breed of the Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC and the Ang Mo Kio GRC. Well one day PAP decided to re-draw the electorial boundaries and so poof, there you have it, Bishan-Ang Mo Kio GRC!!!, with this JC smack in the middle of it. Then it happened to be a voting centre so ya whatever.

So there was this day where Jack and Jill were looking for a hill to go up, since they went up Starch Hill in Sarimbun when Jack was a meagre Sec 1 kid (eh sounds like RI orientation right!!). But now in the middle of some desolate landscape (full of buildings, but that's all), they couldn't find a suitable place. They racked their brains for a bit.

Jack: Let's go up a hill.
Jill: Sure, but where.
Jack: I don't know.

Then racked a little more. After 5 minutes..

Jack: You know where to go?
Jill: I don't know.

After 2 hours..

Jill: Let's go Macritchie!!
Jack: Wa set man!

Ah, that was a brilliant suggestion. For going up hills in Macritchie in pairs always allowed tired cross country runners training there (like me) to get some amusement and inspiration. Like "eh look at that couple making out faster than I can run, tmd better run faster ar.." sort of thing. So anyway, Jack and Jill, being the best of friends (though not yet lovebirds), decided to go Macritchie together.

They found a nice little hill which they went up, and to prevent themselves from dying of thirst in case they got lost, they carried a pail of water. Jack and Jill, best of friends, carrying a pail of water up the hill. Or if you like rhyming sentences - Jack and Jill, with a pail, up the hill. You get what I mean.

Now by saying they were best of friends, meaning Jack trusted Jill and Jill trusted Jack. Like, they both knew each other very well and they were 志同道合. But as they slogged up the hill, they found out that the journey took longer than they expected! And the sky was getting dark! They obviously didn't plan their journey well, because they expected to go up and down a hill in one hour before dusk. And they obviously didn't ask the cross country runners how long it took to make one round around the place.

So Jack, being Jack, got jacked.

Unfortunately, Jill did not know something about Jack, as best friends tend to hide a very special secret from you. And that secret is most probably some deep dark one that is super secret that it is really a secret.

But too bad. I know Jack's secret. That being that Jack is some perverted bastard, and can get damn horny at times. This is also the reason why I don't put pictures here, because I'm afraid there are horny readers of TCS, and anyway I don't store porn in my computer. So I am SORRY (actually I'm not) about the lack of pictures, but I'll just leave this to your imagination.

Well, when you go up the hill, you oppose gravity and your body has to work harder to keep blood pumped all over the place. So Jill started to perspire. And soon she got soaked to the skin. Oh and not to mention she was wearing her JC's PE kit, which happens to be white in colour!! But I will not mention the JC because of privacy purposes.

If you have any sense at all, you'd know white + water = translucent. Jack's imagination got wild at first, but later his imagination stopped running wild because 1) it was too dark to run and 2) there was nothing to be left to the imagination as her shirt was just dripping wet! (And almost transparent.)

And if you didn't catch it just now or didn't read carefully enough, I said Jack was horny.

So despite being the best of friends, he could not control his feelings and raped her!! =O

Such a bastard innit. To think that she trusted him as Jack was her friend.

Well in the morning they both were snuggled up in the forest.. and it happened to be a bright beautiful Saturday morning where the sun shone and the birds chirped.

And a new group of irritating cross country runners would come and train. This time, very coincidentally, the runners happened to be from the same JC as Jack and Jill! But because Jack and Jill were concealed in the forest, it wasn't easy to spot them.

However, as luck would have (not?) had it, this particular smart runner had a stomachache that morning as he had had a full breakfast before coming for training. He thought he was being damn manly, but ended up jacking himself when he couldn't take it anymore during the run.

So I.. oops I mean "he", went off to one side of the forest to relieve himself.

Well it felt good. I mean I think it felt good.

After a while, I he was relieved and was about to walk out when he heard a soft breathing sound. And he turned around to look. A monkey. Damn it he was so f**king scared he just ran to the other side screaming!

And guess what! He collapsed onto a couple lying on the ground..

..doing something sick.

Okay no prizes for guessing who, but they were Jack and Jill.

Jill: HELP!!!!
Jack: ...
Jack: What's that smell??

So anyway they all got out of the forest, and Jill felt damn betrayed by her so-called best friend. A police report was filed later in the day - and the reason why this doesn't come out in the papers is because of the grossness of it all. Just imagine the whole story all over again. Or read it if you please. Gross, isn't it?

And plus they had to protect the identity and the image of the JC. The press had better stfu.

But what, you may ask, is the purpose of telling this story?

Of course, there is the entertainment value (SENSATIONAL!). Then there is the moral of the story that you should never trust your best friend (okay that's like saying trust no one).

And then there is also a lesson in précis writing to be learnt! Or summary writing, if you please.

Could you sum the whole thing all up in one sentence? I certainly can.

Don't peek at the answer below until you've thought it out. And after you read the answer, you are reminded to read YH's post.

...
...
...
...
...
...
...

Ans: Jill got jacked and Jack got jilled (jailed).

vote for us

I have not blogged in a long time.

Since 31st of March to be exact.

Well this is not a good way to resume blogging but..

tmr's elections.

and we need your votes.

we = yj, adnaan, anna and me.

we are not imba group.

we need the votes as much as you think we dont need it.

we are not being sarcastic but we are not as popular and as imba as you think we are.

plus the fact that we didnt do much campaigning. so all the more we need your vote.

so vote for us.

yj, adnaan, anna and me.

please dont have the mentality that we are confirm in and thus not vote for us.

cuz we are not confirm in.

vote for us pls.

pretty pretty please???

Maths genius

Okay after reading the title you'd probably think this story is going to be about someone else, since I think it's rather evident that I'm some dumb cockster who knows nuts about Maths.

Still, there are always elements of surprise in places you don't know and TOO BAD, there's one RIGHT HERE! Now in case you are shocked, err.. don't be shocked. After all, if rich people can hide their money in the bank and live in HDB flats, why can't stupid people like me hide their intelligence in their school bags and pretend to be dumb? I've a hidden talent, man. Although now it's probably not hidden because I cannot resist the temptation to show you my Maths genius. And after reading this post you all will probably come begging me for Maths tuition - but no, I firmly believe in minding my own business and not letting everyone be a genius like myself.

However, before I proceed, let me clarify that I am not powerful in all aspects for Maths. Oh no, it's impossible to be good in everything. I specialise in this: differentiation. And as part of the Integrals, I'm obviously good in integration also but screw that, let's focus on our topic today.

I am implicitly good at differentiation.

Eh NOTE it's not I am good at Implicit Differentiation ah!! (That's some screwed up topic please.)

Let me give you a two-line proof.



Bloody genius that I am, innit? And to think that I did this question back in Sec 1, when we all probably had ZERO idea of what differentiation is. This was my first experience with such a question and I think I excelled in it - because my teacher checked my answer and it was correct.

Well so I tried this crap for my differentiation quiz back in Sec 4. And I have had some fabulous results from there as well - not to mention a talking-to by Chandy.



The one mark was because James was sitting beside me and I didn't know how to do the last question, a rarity if you consider my proficiency in differentiation. Just because I didn't know how to make x the subject in y = ln 2x. So being desperate, I copied the first step of his working and there you go, 1/9.

So, you might ask, how does that qualify me to be a Maths genius? After all I failed the differentiation quiz.

But you try getting a differentiation question right in Sec 1.. is it possible? And after I got it right, I thought I was so damn good in differentiation that I just slept through the lessons on it in Sec 4, therefore showing to my whole class what an independent learner I am.

Isn't that proof enough that I'm a Maths genius?

Sadly, though my differentiation is good enough to give tuition, my arithmetic leaves a lot to be desired. I just realised I made a mistake above.. my proof has three lines, not two.

And my genius has just got overridden by my stupidity (stoopideeti). If you need more proof on how lousy my arithmetic is, go read my post on stupidity a month or so back. Maybe it's less or more, considering that I cannot count the number of days that has passed since I posted that. Well ya, that's the sad thing about being too good in differentiation, you have to compromise your talent elsewhere.

Oops I just realised something. That even inanimate and intangible objects might be smarter than me.

To prove it, I'll give you a one line proof.

Your vote counts. I can't. (shown)

Getting my arse whooped

I'm sorry if I haven't blogged for the past week.. but you must understand I have my difficulties. It seems like someone is trying to give me a life.. and I've been struggling violently to resist it. You see, how irritating can having a life be? I've been gathering a few quotes about life, and all I'm hearing is:

1) Life sucks.
2) Life's a bitch.
3) Life has no meaning.

So I can conclude that life is probably a female vacuum cleaner that cannot be found in the dictionary. And that is probably why I don't want to have one, either. I have no need for vacuum cleaners, much less female ones that cannot be found in the dictionary.

But anyway. I'm back here to blog since I've nothing better to do. In fact, this has always been one of my most enjoyable hobbies, because there IS nothing better to do than blogging. However when certain things start to threaten my existence, I have to give in at times. So here are my reasons for not blogging everyday.

Monday: Busy playing Gunbound. I'm hooked and I don't get my (almost) daily fix, I'll be in trouble. Well I haven't had my daily fix for a while and so on Monday I was just letting go of everything. Can't blame me for that really, can you? If you think I should be blamed, go play it yourself.

Tuesday: First official day of campaigning so I was up and about checking others' posters. Try finding mine around. People say I'm not putting any effort for my campaign but that's not true! I took a hell long time to get my banner up and so screw you all who say otherwise. Of course, my banner was already up before Tuesday but I needed to ensure that no one touched it or defaced it. Hence I had no time to blog as I stayed in school till 11pm to make sure no one removed it. Unless Elango the fagut security guard decided to take it down (after 11pm) because I've shouted his name umpteen times before.

Wednesday: So it turns out Elango didn't do anything. But I spent Wednesday going out to support my X-country mates at Turf City. Then as you know, YL and I are very anti-public transport. And I was determined to stick to the plan. So after the competition (which RJC screwed it up, kind of), I had my own Cross Country back home.

Thursday: I had my own training and given my level of fitness, I would be better off not training at all. But since I trained, I still got damn tired and so I ended up sleeping after three hours of Gunbound.

Friday: Err, since I figured YL was going to blog that night, I couldn't give a damn. Turned out my prediction was quite accurate eh. And campaigning is officially over, yay! Man I'm so tired, I haven't put in so much work for such a long while. For those who claim that I slack, err.. shut up.

That about rounds up my super boring week. And of course not to mention on Friday I was rushing some overdue French homework. See, my teacher got really impatient with the non-existence of my work so he decided to get pissed off yesterday. He spammed the whole (French) class with an email stating that assignments will be graded as part of CA.

AND WHAT THE HECK! I thought I had escaped RP?!?!

Well apparently not. And unlike RP where you take away 10% for 1 day, 50% for 2 days and 100% of the marks for 3 days or more (see what sort of a system this is, it's f**king drilled in my head), my teacher doesn't give a damn about the number of days. Because he believes in French and not Mathematics. Oh and therefore any late assignment will be considered as a non-existent assignment. Not that it affects me, my assignments are almost all non-existent anyway.

And if you haven't noticed the key word in the last sentence of the previous paragraph, it is "almost". Meaning I still have some little bit of hope. Oh and that's because our dear blogger here for the past week, namely Yuk Lun, has decided to be a bigger arsehole than me and not do anything at all. (Can't you see why he has the time to blog so much.)

Still, despite my descriptions, 百闻不如一见。

Just have a look at this:


And therefore I decided to be more hardworking for French now, since CA is bloody counting off against me again. At least YL has the substance to out-perform me in exams, so I'd better get a headstart now. Not like one assignment is going to count for a lot, but you get what I mean. Being of the French Front Row Gang, we're delinquents somewhat like the immigrant population in France. Whole day only know how to make noise because we're useless.

But I've rediscovered my passion for French, and I've started watching non-porn French videos. Which is quite hard to find but I still did it anyway. Now that's NOT to say I found some porn ones okay.. I was just having beginner's luck. Anyway I find French politicians quite amusing, they come from all over the place, literally. Here's one from the woods, and in case you don't understand the wordings, it translates to "Jean Marie Le Pen - President of FN" (I think).

And FN is some political group that I don't know stands for what. Don't ask me either, because I don't know.

Just look at the damn picture and look what the idiot is saying.



In case you don't know what "merde" is, go check www.freetranslation.com. Very useful website for me as well, so I thought I might just share it with you.

But back to the topic - can you imagine what a joker this guy is? LE PEN indeed. Would you call yourself LE PEN? I really think with such a name he'll just get whooped in the elections, unless his opposition is LE SWORD. I found myself being unable to control my laughter at watching this video.

And do not, I repeat, do not for a moment think I made that picture up. I've got proof that it's official.



Ya so don't say I anyhow made the picture. Not true okay! The site is www.tf1.fr, and the date for the video is the 8th of April. Now go look for it yourself if you don't believe me. I tell you these French politicians can be downright joker at times.

Talk about passion. Now I can feel the blood surging through my veins again, and I'm getting a sudden impulse to go back to watching more French videos and getting more work done. Going back to the system of RP, it is imperative that I get all my work done.

So I'm sorry I have to leave you now, but I need to get my arse whooped.

Doing Nothing

I consider myself a genius at doing nothing, or stoning. But even I find it difficult nowadays. You want to do nothing? Well you can't because you got no time. There was a time when everybody had time, but those times are over.

I blame technology, especially the Internet. There's always this temptation to be doing something on the internet, which might be entirely useless. For example, I was googling talkcocksummit just now. The search results aren't a lot but still encouraging nonetheless. People who I have never heard of in my life recommended this blog. Feel free to try googling it yourself, if you can't resist the temptation to stop doing nothing.

Stay strong stay stoned.

Train Catching

Actually today got nothing nice so I shall blog about Monday, when yj and i made our second expedition to sign up for the delf french test and finally succeeded. But this time we took the mrt since both of us were going from home. So as I was on my way to newton(where alliance francaise is), yj messaged:

yj: eh are you on the train now? I'll try to get on your train when you go up.

(he's going from braddell. I'm going from bedok) Sounds cool. So i cooperate...
me: where you? i'm at aljunied.

yj:Reaching braddell mrt. So i take down to orchard and try to hijack your train.
me: lol ill msg you at somerset.

And the curses begin as the idea is killed...
yj: wtf marina bay 6 mins hijack what lan. we plan off track liao.

and then resurrected...
me: lol mine is 6 mins too.

The great plan...
yj: Then prepare to be overtaken haha. 3mins left!

I assumed the plan would work...
me: see you on my train then im at the end of it.

Our telepathic communication system broke down...
yj: Which end? City hall side is diff. front or back?
me: back which is your front
yj: Ya i know. haha cos that is exactly where i am now.

*didididi doors closing*(at orchard)
yj: duck(yj's not vulgar) did your train just leave?

oops...
me: oops i was faster

Curses again...
yj: Duck!! 6mins next train kobquodbthny! Jack again!

Consoling yj...
me: Ya i can see tat from here n i think i can take back to orchard.

Great advice from yj...
yj: LOL! I don't think you might want to try that. The train is taking damn long Zz! (6 minutes to be exact)

Reality hits yj...
yj: Eh wtf you really went to try?!

Reality hits me...
me:Lol you were so right i guess u shld just wait for me at newton
yj: Eh actually i think i can get you this time round haha!

8 minutes later when i reach newton
me: Where the toot r u?

That idiot...
yj: Orchard LOL! Your turn to wait.

Me and my attitude...
me: Fuk you im not waiting im taking back!
I caught the train on the opp side without waiting 6 minutes
me:Now i shld be on the same train as you

yj has a funny sense of humour...
yj: Eh wtf i was only joking! I thought you came out! LOL!
yj: Come up la!

And so ends our chronicles on train catching. The only thing good about it is that it's the same price whether you play train catching or not. So it's good for boliao people like us who have time but no money. And 6 minutes is really a long time to wait for a train.

Template

Baskit I hate working on templates, it's so damn frustrating it makes me get tempers.

However these tempers are temporary, so I'm just here for a while.

I've updated the links at the side, in case you cannot tell. I've linked a lot of people who linked us (ya a lot my arse) and err.. if you link us do drop us a notice on the tagboard and we'll link you back. Don't bloody link us and keep quiet! It's like giving our telephone numbers to others but not letting us give out your telephone numbers back.

And don't tell me it's False Analogy. I don't go by logic and logical fallacies fall on me.

Anyway screw the above argument. Basically I did a lot of work and you should just thank me.

Acidically I'd better think of some more ways to improve the sidebar. Ya I've got no life and in this case, life means the motivation to do homework. Goodnight and read YL's post for all those campaigning thanks.

How much is being a councillor worth?

The campaigning has begun! And this is when everything becomes so much more exciting! Needless to say, vote for yh and yj, my brudders at tcs. But you still have 13 votes left. Such a difficult decision isn't it. But fret not, tcs helps you to differentiate the candidates who deserve to get into council and those who don't.

Now what qualities do you look for in an ideal candidate? He must be smart. Smart people know that the conventional way of campaigning i.e. posters etc. don't have much impact anymore. Smart people also know that the new way of attracting attention is through technology.
Therefore, introducing...... TCS' e-campaigning programme!!!

The idea is very simple. For a price x, I will do some free publicity for you right here, so that everyone will know what a great person you are and then you'll get voted into the student council.

The price structure will go something like this:
x: I link your blog at some obscure corner of this page
2x: I link your blog in my post with a recommendation
3x: I say something nice about you regardless of whether i know you personally
4x: I write an entire fairytale about you
10x: You can have the blog

X has yet to be determined. But I have a general idea of how much it is. Let's say because of the publicity of this blog alone, you get into the council. Because you get into the council, you have an excellent cca record and an outstanding testimonial. Thanks to these two things, you become either a) a doctor or b) a powerful civil servant. Either of these will earn more than 10k a month. Definitely. So I guess when you look at it this way, 10k for an advert isn't too much to ask for. After all, it'll simply be your first month's salary.

Anyway, the price is negotiable, especially for needy students. I still have a heart. E-campaigning is the way to go!

Hotdog Mania!

The ORA food and funfair was fun. To begin with, it wasn't much of a fun fair because there wasn't much games. Almost everyone was selling food. But the waterpolo team sure had fun selling the hotdogs. In fact they (the hotdogs AND the polo team) were so hot the price was fluctuating non-stop. I would have loved to draw some fancy econs graph to illustrate the trends if not for 2 reasons: 1, I don't take economics. 2, I'm pretty sure it violates most principles of economics because the number of buyers seem the same regardless of the price.

Maybe it was thanks to j. kwang's magical tomato sauce recipe. Or our wonderful sales people. And not to forget the sales tactics:

kory and isaac: We sell the tray of hotdogs for $2 only!
someone: Ok I buy I buy
kory and isaac: *takes out hotdogs and gives her the tray*
someone: Oy! I complain ah!

It was nice to sell stuff in the crowd. We can just stuff the tray of hotdogs in their faces and tempt them. Everytime without fail, when we emerge from the crowd, the tray would be like empty liao. Cos we're pro. Of course it helped that other people sold stuff like grapes. 10 for $1.50. We're not Greek after all (refer to yj's previous post). Somehow I always have this mental picture of Greek scholars doing nothing but sitting on couches and sucking on grapes. So of course, since everything is relative, hotdogs were relatively proper food.

And of course I have to take this chance to thank everyone for supporting the waterpolo team!
Anyway it was fun.

Now on to some negative stuff. You know sometimes when you take the train or any other form of public transport and you feel real down. Your day just didn't go well. And as you're standing on the MRT or bus, you don't feel like looking at anyone's face. You just wanna look down and stay in your own little comfort zone. But then you look down, and then you see these ugly feet!
















First of all, if you notice, this is one big and fat foot. Of course, this is proportionate to its owner who has hips almost the size of the bus itself. Secondly, you should notice that even though there is the slipper strap, the slipper itself is nowhere to be seen. The dotted line indicates the probable area of the slipper. Which brings us to the question of why is the person wearing slippers in the first place since the slipper is too freakin small for bigfoot. We should probably thank him for cleaning the floor with his/her feet, but I personally think he should just go walk barefoot because he simply defeats the purpose of having footwear. It's just bloody disgusting.

And of course something like that really spoils your day, esp. when you're down to begin with.

Tales of violence and ruthlessness

I was just very bored this afternoon so I decided to play Age of Mythology. Now there's nothing special about that, except for the fact that I was pissed off at something else. And when I get pissed off, I tend to play in a slightly aggressive manner.

Even though I was playing against A.I., which probably stood for Asinine Idiot rather than Artificial Intelligence since the playing style resembled nothing like intelligence, I still insulted (the A.I.) a hell lot throughout the game. And in the final scenes, I had some fun destroying his (or its) home base.

You can have a look at the pictures, though you might need to enlarge them to take a closer look at my vulgarities. Wahahaha am I good or what!

Now say "you're good."

Okay thanks. Here goes.



I was just done sending my troops down south to the enemy's base camp and in case you didn't know, I'm "Default", the one with the blue army. There are a couple of Plims (degoratory term for "pigs" - don't ask why) on the ground if you looked closely enough, and they were actually soldiers of the red side before I crushed their arses and turned them into pork.

To add insult to injury, I insulted him as you can see from the chatlog at the left side of the screen. Well I do hope A.I. won't take it too seriously and start crying, because I don't think water (saline or not) goes very well with computer chips and electronical stuff like that.



As you can see, the poor little guy who tried to be haughty and stand in my way for the first part of the game is having fires in his buildings now worse than Indonesia's forest fires. Even without any trees, the fires still burn as if it were burning trees. And my mythic creatures are having fun exploring the ground that was once his. Ahaha loser.

Well he did try to surrender, as you can see from the huge blue box in the centre of the screen. But being the sadistic and violent arsehole that I was, I refused his offer of surrender. I wanted to get more resources for myself and to let him off so easily was unacceptable. So I fought on and finally..



(start singing to tune of College Anthem)

I REIGNED SUPREME IN EVERY SPHERE!

HAIL THE SON OF SINGAPORE!

Come heed the call Rafflesians all,

and let our hearts be stirring.

Build Markets, Temples and Barracks,

and give the enemy a lashing.

My boredom and my gaming skills,

made me just want to play.

Auspicium Melioris Aevi,

how I love my Sunday!

(singing ends)

My point? I love Sunday because Sunday means no school and no school means play. And Sunday gives you an occasion to be violent because there was a Sunday called "Bloody Sunday" and hence every Sunday should be passed in celebration of it. Of course, I'm not saying you go around killing people in real life. Oh no, that's bloody evil and inhumane. Most importantly, it's illegal.

If you remember my article on Friday, you would have read that those Greeks have it easier than us when it comes to studying. In order to avenge that (okay ya I'm jealous), I play this game so as to whoop their sorry arses. It beats mugging any time, any day. Especially on Sunday.

Oh well, so much for violence, I think I've said enough.

Now all go try out the game!

Update

Just a few updates that you might be seeing around TCS soon.

1) RUMOUR MILL IS MAKING A RETURN!
Something which people either love or loathe. But welcome or dread it, you'll see it come back anyway. The last time the Rumour Mill was at TCS was at err.. 6 Sep 2005? That was before I screwed up the TCS template (which was yet again, eons ago) and when YL had started his quest on finding rumours around the school. Which was quite ironic since YH and I found him with a rumour instead. Maybe not exactly a rumour, but never mind that was history.

And for those who are waiting to beat us up and soon as the rumour mill comes up, don't be too quick to act. We do practise SOME censorship - so don't worry you've got your identity censored and your arse covered. Umm ya.

2) TCS RECRUITMENT DRIVE
We need cocks, cockesses and cocksters. Anyone who thinks that they can talk more cock than all three of us put together (which is kinda impossible) can screw off becuase that's not possible. But anyone who KNOWS that they can talk more cock than all three of us put together are welcome to try - because you have the confidence and you are obviously cocking up about being able to talk cock. Which is downright cock. So once again interested applicants can sign up with us at the library or at the canteen. If you don't know how we look like, leave a message on any canteen table and I'll try to find it.

By the way not all applicants are automatically selected! Baskit you think life is so easy? You will have to go through an interview stage (kind of like Council), where you will be interrogated by the Exco, which is essentially any one of us. Then you will have to campaign in school along with the Council campaigners during campaign week. Maybe if you've the guts to do something really rubbish we'll accept you. So good luck to all applicants.

3) THE SEETOW CHRONICLES
This is a one-off issue about our dear friend on the tagboard called Seetow, better known as "anonymous". This joker would make a great salesman, if not for his less-than-desirable figure. If you don't know who he is, he's that idiot today going around Block B saying "eh you look very hot today le, you need some ice cream to cool you down!" Then he proclaims that he is a damn good salesman and should consider marketing stuff next time. Ya maybe he could advertise "hot waterpolo keepers" like himself. Because he kept saying today about how hot the RI waterpolo goalkeeper was.. ya ya we get your hint.

But if you're thinking we can write a book about him, hell no. We cannot possibly do that as we don't see him everyday. You just have to know that today this smart and "hot" waterpolo goalkeeper went to eat three ice creams and four cold pizzas so he's got a STOMACHACHE haha! And he thought I would get it also but although I might be stupid enough to eat three ice creams and four cold pizzas, I DID NOT. Oh plus he was fiddling around with dry ice so no wonder.

Anyway today the f**king waterpolo juniors all bullied me. Zhizhi evidently hasn't been taking them in hand. Must be because he keeps training to whack me upside down in treading water and aiming to break the national youth team record of 30 seconds that he couldn't be bothered with the n00bs in waterpolo. Tsktsk cannot make it. But you get my point that Seetow's some joker.

So in the next few weeks you can expect some changes in the blog. And if YL happens to produce a fantastic template out of nowhere (literally since his com crashed), you'll get to see a new template! Now how cool is that! Not as cool as Seetow's ice creams, it seems. Oh well.

They have it easy

I have heard rumours about myself.. and they are not very pleasant because they seem to be questioning my ability of writing a basic GP essay. Others have said that I am incapable of proving a point or stringing a few sentences together to prove a point because I talk nothing but rubbish. Well an essay is either written out or typed out, so what has my talking got to do with my essays!

Okay now it seems to be that they not only SEEM to be questioning my ability, they ARE doubting it. Therefore I have no choice but to prove to you that I am not that useless after all. And to make life even more fun, I decided to post it up here so I can show the world what writing essays and proving points is all about. What's more, my essay is argumentative, discursive and narrative all at one go. Bet you can't do that. Now just sit back, shut up, and enjoy.

The essay title was chosen by one of my friends, and obviously he was trying to make things very difficult for me. The cunning fagut chose something far out of my range and my domain, something which he knew if I tried writing an essay on, it would be undefined. It's so un-mathematical, un-chemical, un-economical and worst of all, I had to write it in English - so it's totally out of my subject combi.

And in case you think I'm whining, I present to you his title:

"Studying was more difficult for Greek scholars of ancient times than RJC students of these days. Discuss."

What the hell!? Still I firmly believe that nothing is impossible (except scoring full marks for Chem test), so I set about doing a little bit of research. And ta da, I present you my findings. If you are writing on a similar topic, don't bloody plagiarise because I know this is A-grade work.

------------------------------
I am not here to discuss the damn thing but to strongly oppose the statement. It is bloody obvious that those Greek idiots back there to have it far easier than us, and only a fool will have problems seeing that. Now whoever is marking or reading this, don't try to spit on my paper because one, I typed it out and two, you'll be spitting at your own computer screen you dumb n00b. Just read and agree with me.

Although many might argue that students nowadays might find research easier with the improvement of technology, studying is not all about research. And you have to consider the point that the improvement of technology is because of the earlier people's mugging. Like an exponential graph that approaches zero but never touches the x-axis (try plotting y = 1/x for positive x), the damn thing is an asymptote. So no matter how hard we try, we can never attain knowledge of everything that works in this world. The more advanced we get, the less we improve. If you don't believe me, use your GC and your analytical skills (that's assuming you have them).

If you are a shithead with no analytical skills whatsoever, take my word for it. The more advanced we get, the less we can possibly improve. And hence with Man's amazing advancement in the past 100 years, it is super difficult for us to improve with leaps and bounds anymore. Oh no. Tell a jumper who has broken his own record a hundred times over to jump the 101st time and he will get leg cramps. Precisely what I mean - studying these days gives us brain damage. So don't make us try. Unlike those Greek scholars who start out afresh, we have brains tired out by the constant improvement of technology.

That's my first point - that Greek scholars are fresh while we are not, so those ancient dudes have it easier.

Next, Greece is located in Europe. And in case you didn't know, Europe has four seasons, one of which is called "winter". It is kind of like air-conditioning, and brains have been proven to work better in cold weather than hot (ya so you know why I fail tutorial tests in the gay tutorial rooms?). RJC students, despite their generous donations for the ORA donation card, are chased out of the canteen because VIPs are coming the next day. And what's more, our money is channelled to bloody hell sprucing up the whole campus and making it look good JUST FOR ONE DAY.

So what does this mean? This is where economic concepts come into place. You have unlimited wants and limited resources. Your resource here is money. Now after upgrading the school, you tell me if you have any money left for air-conditioning the classroom? If you say yes, you are obviously a member of the RJC administration. If you say no, then you're intelligent. Evidently there isn't any money left so we don't get simulated cooler climates where our brain works best. With nicer weather and conditions back in Greece (where rtp is 25°C and not bloody 30°C), those Greek brains find it easier to study.

Thirdly, Greek scholars are above the law while RJC students aren't. Let me give you a few examples to show you what I mean. And unless you are shallower than the baby pool in RI's Hong Leong Swimming Complex, I'm pretty sure you can understand what I'm saying.


Now tell me if you know this wanker. He's some man, finding out that we actually take up space. Err wow! (And at least I censored the picture okay!)

Archimedes (阿基米德, or Archie for short)
I am sure you all know the story of Archimedes - where he went into the bathtub and the water started overflowing so he got damn happy and started running out onto the streets naked shouted "Eureka!" Now I don't see why he should be happy because firstly, he would have spilt water all over his bathroom floor and it's damn irritating to clean up and secondly, being of an elderly age I'm sure many people would have shrieked at the sight of a nude Archimedes running along the street. Yucks that's gross and obscene.

Well you might ask how does that relate back to your RJC student. For one, if you run onto the street naked shouting "Eureka" - no one will understand you. And before you know it, you'll have people in blue uniform surrounding you and asking what on earth are you doing on the streets without your fabric. Then the next thing you know, you're up in court for outraging of modesty and indecent exposure. And to cap it all off, woots you get to spend some time behind bars.

Now think about yourself and Archimedes. Little Archie of Greek origin was then hailed as one of the greatest scientists in the world, while you'd probably end up as Top Eccentric Convict. How's that for an argument, it's obviously tougher to be studying here when you can't even celebrate your achievements.


I forgot the name of this guy, but apparently he is some great Greek mathematician who was caught in the middle of the war. Err never mind.

X (or Greek Mathematician for short)
The reason why I'm naming him X is because he's a mathematician and the precise, delicate subject of Mathematics concerns very much of this little variable called X. So let's call him X. I'm sorry I forgot his name, but well you should know who I mean. This guy was still doing his Maths tutorial even though the Romans were invading the Greeks, and even when they barged through the door he was begging them to let him complete the proof.

Wa so hardworking I wonder if I'll be like that when I'm 72? Shit forget that.

Of course the Romans were being bloody faguts and they just finished him off. But at least he had the chance to beg the Romans to let him complete the proof. In modern warfare, do you think they'll still barge in your door? Fat hope. You'd more likely be bombed in an air raid or get plane-crashed by some crazy terrorists. Either way, you won't get any warning before you are about to die and hence may not even die with the knowledge of what happened to you. Now that's the sad facts of life for you. At least the Greeks knew when they were going to die and they could at least rush through the last part to salvage some marks.

And uh, which is kind of like the end of a Maths test. If you know that time is running out, you'll just secure all the marks you think you can get for free. Modern day RJC students have no such privilege. So yet again the Greeks have it easier than us.


So you think Kenneth Low was being original with his Philo powerpoint slides? Well I got that same pic too HAHA that N00B!!

Socrates (or Socy for short)
Erm please note that "Socy" can be pronounced "Socky" - kind of like Mrs Chan Sock Chia's nickname back in RI, but that's not the point. My point here is that good old Socrates (now dead) was a damn good philosopher, but was put to death because the Greek government needed a scapegoat when they lost the war to the Romans (really, they never learn their lessons, always kena whooped by the Romans). And this picture was just before he died, or at least that's what my Philo teacher, Mr Kenneth "I-like-sex-in-the-bathtub" Low used to say.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Kenneth Low, but I do have something against Socrates. Look carefully at the picture.. and tell me what finger is he pointing. And he probably got away with it since he's some old Greek fagut! Try doing that in RJC, and you'll get no less than ONE white slip. Meaning if you do that gesture continuously four times in public, you'll be off with a FAIR conduct. Well, and as we all know, Socrates was proclaimed to be one of the greatest, if not the greatest, philosopher in the world.

Who pointed a middle finger before his death. What the heck?!

Another thing that we should note was that he was put to death by drinking poison, which is very much NOT in accordance to the UN Human Rights Act. But in Singapore, treason is punishable by hanging, which is also very much inhuman. Either way, both are inhuman so we have to compare the degree of inhumanness. Now in drinking poison, you get to die more comfortably, for your throat will be wet and you'll get to taste some liquid. Unlike hanging where you start to choke and your throat gets dry. Which is worse? Obviously hanging. The Greek scholar or the Singaporean RJC student has it worse? Obviously the Singaporean RJC student.

Thus, with all the three points above and my highly relevant examples, I can conclude that the statement "studying was more difficult for Greek scholars of ancient times than RJC students of these days" can be thrown out of the window. That is certainly not the case because compared with what we face now, those Greek scholars worked as if they were in heaven. Okay granted they ARE in heaven now, but you get my drift.

RJC students face more difficulties studying ANY DAY as compared to a Greek scholar. Unless the day is chosen before 1988, when the current RJC students have not been born yet (and the result = undefined). Otherwise, this situation very much holds true. So don't argue with me, you can't do it and you know it.

------------------------------

Blog surveys

I hate doing blog surveys. Have I mentioned to you that they are just plain dumb?

Like why bother asking 20 questions on one topic just to find out a fact when you can just do it in one? And why beat around the bush when you can just come clean with it?

Let me give you a classic example.

"IS YOUR BRAIN FEMALE OR MALE?"

A typical blog survey would give you tons of situations and how you would respond to them. Totally unnecessary. That is just a waste of time. You could just ask one question "what is your sex?" and then if the person's sex is male, his brain is male. If her sex is female, then the brain is female. Simple as that. So why do people take so much time to make blog surveys, I don't know. Maybe they're too free like me.

Oh and by the way I realised something. The BRAIN is a DAMN OBJECT!! It's not even a living being or a mammal, so what the hell is this issue about your brain being male or female? Of course when you learn French, you have to learn the "gender" of a noun when you learn it. And brain - "cerveau", happens to be masculine.

Erm so what is the problem here? If you follow the French, then all brains are masculine. No dispute about that.

And if you don't follow them, brains are sexless. So once again I've proven the stupid topic irrelevant.

Don't do this survey if you haven't already done it.

And there might be a counter-argument that there are also surveys like "which character are you in LOTR?" - which you cannot possibly answer in one question, since we have to see a person's personality before deciding who in LOTR does he get to be.

Well let me give you a few-line proof.

A person loves himself above all. (unless he's some low self-esteem fagut like me, then he's just a weirdo so you can just ignore him) -- (1)
A person loves others like himself. (going by the theory that people are more like currents than magnets, and like currents attract. reason why we are not magnets is because we don't attract metal duh. but we do move about so we're currents.) -- (2)

From (1) and (2), a person's favourite character in a show would possibly be the one most like him. Simple as that. If you want to prove otherwise, you can go do the long blog surveys and find that the result will be the same. I've tried it before when I was too free. The character I got was my favourite character.

Eh then maybe I'm not so weird after all. Ya whatever.

In any case the only surveys which you should be doing are those of this sort:

How good is TCS?
- Good
- Damn good
- Just that bloody damn good!
- Too good

Yes because it's one that is truly reflective of your views and opinions, one that shows your personality. If you chose the first option you are obviously some liar. If you chose the second, you're a little disillusioned. Choosing the third option displays an adequate level of intelligence while choosing the fourth displays high moral conduct and great judging abilities.

Basically, just remember that all blog surveys are useless except for those that we provide. You could express your views at the tagboard and your answer to the question above, no worries, I won't take any offence. It will be nice to know about the "intellectual status" of others anyway.

Right that's all for now. And now I've to change the "good" in my mind to the economic "good". You know, from the adjective used to describe TCS to the noun used in Econs class. Yes I've bloody Econs tutorial first period tomorrow and I had better change my tuning. Otherwise I'll fail another Econs test. Okay whatever byebye.

There!.... and back again

yj and me had to go to Alliance Francaise which is at Newton to sign up for a french proficiency test. And we had all the time in the world to burn. But not money. So we decided to be man and walk to Newton, saving us 75cents, enough to buy a cup of soapwater, but too bad the canteen isn't open tomorrow. And so we walked... (for those who wanna follow our giant footsteps)


Starting point:Junction 8

(yay! j8)




(here got shade la)








And we walked
Braddell


(we jaywalked here)







(this is a cave and there were bats but yuk and i were damn brave)






Toa Payoh





(we love trees cos they provide shade)





(first complaints of leg pain)





Toa Payoh still








(jaywalked again but you can't blame us. traffic lights are slow to change nowadays)









Balestier

(we swore at the overhead bridge)









(welcome to pollution town called balestier)





Thomson



(while we walked the talk, we talked the cock)













Novena




(had a break here. damn thirsty man!)







(and we neared the final stretch!)




Newton




(jaywalked again. i told you the traffic lights were damn slow. not our fault)

(jaywalking spree. did it again!)

(and ZOMG we finally reached Alliance Française!!!)




And as we kept walking and talking cock, there was this irritating buzzing in my head. "Walk some more, walk some more!" Must be the after-effects of Sec 1 orientation.

Anyway, we panted our way to Alliance Francaise, and guess what! the registration begins only this Saturday! hyper giga humongous jacked! Our morale suffered, but we knew we had to make our way back. This time it was a different buzzing in my head.
"I'M TIRED, I'M HUNGRRY, AND ITS SUCH A LONG JOURNEY!!!" wah damn irritating man.

And at first I thought Singapore so small, 1 hour sure can walk from school to orchard, but nope, we took 1hr 10 min to reach newton and a similar time back. It was an enlightening experience. And its free of charge.

Along the way we also escaped from the jaws of death as some cb school bus driver tried to run us down at a zebra crossing. Luckily we managed to push the bus back with our combined strength. And the license plate of the bus had cb on it. Proves our point doesn't it.

The bottom line is that we saved 75cents today and defied public transport. The bad news is that we have to go again soon. tmd. Anyway, keep walking. Walking builds character. Next time we're gonna walk to orchard.

(Pictures and captions courtesy of yj)