Chinese Surnames

Many people think Chinese surnames are boring traditional stuff and don't bother about them. Some people no longer have Chinese names, who knows maybe next time some people will no longer have Chinese surnames? But in line with the gahmen's huayu cool! campaign, I tell you that there is room for creativity in Chinese surnames and names.

Just the other day I went to take the French proficiency test also known as DELF, and they have the whole list of candidates on the board. So being a curious soul, I went to take a look at the names of other candidates, and lo and behold, there was light! There was someone named Sun Shine! Now i think that is a very creative use of Chinese because i assume the person has the surname 孙 and created a fusion between the chinese world and the western world by having the name Sun Shine. I think this is an idea that can be further explored. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it may make a good project.

I have several suggestions. If your surname is Tan, you can name your child Tan cos sin or Tan sin cos, which would be a perfectly mathematical name. With such a name, trigo will be a total breeze, later grow up sure become the world's greatest mathematician. The reason why Chinese have so few top mathematicians is because there is no one named Tan cos sin or Tan sin cos. It's that simple.

If your surname is Lim, then you can have an french name Un for one and I Ted for chinese name somehow, then you have a child whose potential is Unlimited.

If your surname is Lin then you can have a chinese name 一then the full name would be Lin E, or line for short, which i think is super-cool.

Yup that's all for now, it's lame enough as it is, and wtf! I just realised that lame is a possibitly for your child's name if your surname is Lam. omg.

Boring life #2

Well so after one boring yesterday, I had another boring day today.

I went to the dentist - which isn't very interesting unless you consider the stupid conversation I was having with the assistant, some old auntie who can't resist a little chat. So we were kind of talking in Mandarin.. but I'll translate it since it's more convenient.

Background knowledge: I went to postpone my appointment from 30 May to today because of CCAL Camp, and I told her over the phone. And I went late for dental today, around 10 minutes or so.

---Start of convo---

Auntie: You just came back from camp is it?

Me: ?!!

Me: I came back long ago.

Auntie: Oh really? How was it?

Me: Okay la. Wasn't too bad - there was the sun, the sea, and the jungle.

Auntie: You went into the jungle?!

Me: Ya why not?

Auntie: Safe or not? What if Indonesia there got bad people come and catch you?

Me: (amused) We went in groups, then there are also teacher instructors.

Auntie: But teachers won't know the place well. If they get lost then got bad people come then how?

Me: Err.

Auntie: Indonesia so big, got a lot of bad people.

Me: ..the teachers came before, so they should be quite experienced. Anyway we are such a big group, bad people won't dare attack us.

---End of Part One---

Now on the topic of jungles - you could say that I was kind of lying. After all, if there were big groups of terrorists, I think they would have pwned us in the jungle. This is their turf - not ours. Plus the Indonesian foliage is not something you can play around with - it's much crazier than Macritchie which is arguably Singapore's best idea of greenery.

Let me give you a rough idea. This is what NOT to expect:


You get some wide trail with a clear path demarcated, and looks damn good for running. It's kind of like Macritchie only it's not because I'm lazy to find a picture of Macritchie.

What you get for Bintan is like:


Cannot see anything + low visibility. I think they just wanted to prevent mad Cross Country idiots (like me) and psycho Canoeists (they run a hell lot too) from having their own Bintan PT in the morning. If you ask me, any form of PT on this island in the jungle will just be Pwnage Time. Go in and get pwned by wildlife. PT will be Probably Terrible.

Back to the conversation..

---Part Two---

Auntie: That's all? You go for how many days?

Me: Four.

Auntie: So you all spent four days in the jungle?

[Really.. sometimes don't know what these aunties are thinking. But then again hard to blame them - it can't be much fun sitting in a freezer they call waiting room for one whole day.]

Me: No la.. also got other activities. (then gasp realised my Chinese starting to CMI)

Auntie: Like what?

Me: Err rock-climbing.. basically climbing. Up walls and structures and stuff.

Auntie: Wa so fun ah. Not scared fall?

Me: Got safety precautions. We have.. uh, ropes. (told you Chinese really CMI)

Auntie: Oh okay.. then did you climb?

Dentist: (popping in) You can come in now.

Me: (softly) Wa heng ar..

---End of Part Two---

Basically from here I guess you know that we did some climbing, though that was for High Elements. Which brings me to the point of naming the activities. Why call it "High Elements"? I didn't know the Indonesians were so "on" about learning Chemistry - although from the campfire (where we all got bloody roasted) it was kind of evident they didn't know much about heat control. Like latent heat which also involves Fizikss but never mind.

So instead of tall structures and stuff in mind, I was thinking of something else when I read that we were going to do "High Elements".



No?

Then similarly, Low Elements would mean something like:



Not my fault if there was any misunderstanding - if there's anyone to blame, go blame RJC Chemistry Department for their constant drilling of these little tables into us. Turned out the "elements" were just random structures built for sadistic pleasure. And everything was made of wood. Tsk - what age do those Indonesians live in now, eh? Still thinking that "wood" is an element. I thought that was a thing of the past and I thought that it was part of ancient Chinese beliefs.

But ANYWAY. That's not the point. The point is that we just went around playing with these wooden structures and oh, there you go, that made up the other half of our activities in Bintan.

Sigh now that I'm back here facing the REAL elements, I can't help but think back. And by the way the dentist like totally tore my lips apart today when she carelessly decided to pull something out from my mouth using a super sharp instrument. Well my lips happened to be in the way, and after my careful choosing of colours of braces it turned out all red. What the heck - now this is what I call a waste of time.

So what do you do when you have such a boring life like this?

Go to sleep. After all from the TCS Rule - "if you find it offensive, we'll make it more offensive", we can derive that "if something is boring, let's make it more boring." zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

-------
Note: Despite all that I said, I really don't have anything against our Indonesian neighbours nor the local dentist. Because a main ingredient of talking cock is bitching, and therefore I have to focus on their 1% (okay maybe more) screwed up bit rather than the 99% of normal stuff. Ya believe it or not - I've nothing against them. Don't believe your problem.

If your life is a movie..

..would it be a good one?

If you're thinking that I'm suddenly advertising for the Navy, you have my word that I'm not. I was just thinking along those (battle?) lines and I just realised what would happen if my life was a movie. After all, what I blog is basically about my life - and already these words can already lull someone to sleep, so what movie are you talking about?

Not bored yet? Well let me tell you what I did for the past few days.

Saturday
YL felt crazy after his training so that idiot just suddenly dropped by my house without telling me. Okay he DID tell me, but only after he alighted from his bus home and he alerted me that he was bloody just underneath my block. Like WTF, this WTF (waterpolo-training fagut) suddenly come and disrupt my peaceful Saturday afternoon. What's more I had my CCA (cross-country activity) in the morning so I was feeling very tired.

But damn it, he was a guest and it was my duty to entertain guests. We had a talk cock session for two hours while we toured the neighbourhood. Now isn't that boring because talking and walking are like, normal activities. So while we walked and talked, and talked the cock, the people around us yawned as they saw how no-life we were. Now I told you my life was boring.

Sunday
Having had a week of crappp, I slept the whole day through. If you find interest in someone sleeping, I think you're weird.

Monday
Also known as today - where I went for training AGAIN. And this time I ran for one hour continuously without stopping. If you were to make my life a movie, the movie would run for one hour continuously without stopping as well and by then your nose would also probably be running continuously from the aircon in the cinema. Any benefits from that? No.

Boring? YES.

So if my life was that boring, I should stop blogging right?

WRONG!

Because I could always blog about the past. Bring you back to Bintan with its stupid toilets and world of no-flushes. If you needed a reminder of what it was like, just scroll down for some enlightenment. But then again I only spoke of the campsite and not the activities, so let me start on that now.

-------------------------

Before I left for Bintan, I had a great shock when I found out that my general knowledge was terrible. Being a great fan of the wondrous game of Gunbound, I decided to visit their site and to look out for nice little avatars to buy.. PS if you don't play Gunbound, go get a life and start playing now! Umm so anyway this is what I found.. and I got bloody shocked because I had a differing perception.




The whole thing: go enlarge if you can't see it. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll cut and paste the offending bit that like got me off my chair.




It goes: Singapore's best beach Bintan

And I'm like WHAT BINTAN IS ACTUALLY IN SINGAPORE? Damn to think I've lived so many years in ignorance! Although I was actually rather shocked about my lack of general knowledge (after all this is Gunbound of the WORLD, it HAS to be right), I was also kinda glad because I didn't have to bring my passport. You know how troublesome it is to carry these documents around.

Happily, I left for Bintan without a passport.

Turned out those idiots at Gunbound was wrong - because somehow everything over at the Bintan port was in Indon and uh, there were postcards being sold that said "Bintan, Indonesia". Like WTF then I really panicked because the customs officers looked real mean.

BUT! The extra money that I brought along with me just in case came in handy. =)

So I got past immigration without much problem and yay finally we're in Bintan.

Being involved in Founder's Day, I couldn't take part in the first activity, which was kayaking. Erm since we're on this topic, allow me to present to you a joke about kayaking from James the waterpolo vice captain.

Q: What do you say when someone tells you a lame joke on a kayak?
A: KAYAKAYAKAYAKAYAKAYAKAYAK! (that's supposed to sound like laughter)

Okay now stop laughing and back to the topic. I missed kayaking, so there is pretty much nothing to talk about it. Except that some people thought that I was some n00b who missed kayaking on purpose because I sucked at it. Well, contrary to popular belief, I do know what kayaks are and I'll post a picture of it just to prove it.



Yes so I skipped this part. Sadly. From what I heard from one of my group-mates, he was staying at the back of the pack (without his backpack because he's on the kayak duhhh!) and basically being the last man in the last kayak. So let Z be my friend and O be other kayaks (..... stands for water even though water doesn't stand ya whatever), you have:

O.....O.....O.....O
...........Z...........

(not drawn to scale)

And apparently these kayakers (represented by Os) were some n00bies, so this was what happened after a while - according to my friend. Being the last man, he was supposed to save anyone who was going to capsize. Let X be capsized kayaks.

X.....X.....X.....X
...........Z...........

He was like WTF I'M NOT SAVING ANY OF YOU because it was obvious that someone (in fact everyone) was playing the fool and I'm like WTF LUCKY NEVER COME OR I HAVE TO CAPSIZE.

Yea so that was more or less about kayaking. Since I didn't go I wouldn't know.

But now let's talk about rafting, since we're on the topic of water sports. At Singapore's best beach (I didn't know Bintan wasn't an island but only a beach), we had the luxury of a few barrels that looked remarkably like giant blue zammable cans. As well as a few lame sticks so we could construct our raft.

Our group was l33t and did it in record time. Here's the blueprint, after all since the barrels were blue it's only right that I give you a BLUEprint. Okay not funny. There's no colour in the picture but I'm very proud of my group's design anyway.



It looks damn simple here but I can assure you building a raft is more difficult than it looks. Just look at all the sophistication and all the advanced technology required - I think I shall become an assistant architect (because I didn't do the design duh) after I pursue my career in music and in rearing chickens at some mountaintop.

And umm there you go. That was two activities that we did in Bintan - which is arguably more exciting than what I do in Singapore. Okay granted I didn't give much description of it but well our raft just pwned the other groups because THEY COULDN'T EVEN GET THEIR RAFT OUT TO SEA.

Man, how I miss life back there. And at least I don't have to blog about my daily trash haha.

There's more to come, naturally. You don't think I spent four days there for nothing right. So stay tuned - tomorrow there will be other activities.

Are you a true camper?

You might think this post is some random crap but nooo it's just a lag post about the CCAL Camp. Now I must admit I have little knowledge of the great outdoors, though some others might argue that no matter where your position is, you are always outside doors.

Hmm actually that's a good point. Well let's just say that I have little knowledge about camping out then. After four days in Bintan, Indonesia, I am perhaps slightly better off than before. If there's anyone out there who thinks that he knows a lot about campsites and stuff, well you should read this.

Presenting to you CampABLE in Bintan, Indonesia!

Yes that was the name of our campsite - which I find it stupid because contrary to what their name suggests, "campABLE" is a pretty much uncampable ground. This is because 1) it is susceptible to rain and the tents get flooded (which sucks, campsites should be rainproof), 2) there are roots all over the place and one might get a twisted ankle easily should he/she be careless and 3) they have PATHETIC facilities.

Today I will be talking briefly on points 1 and 2 and further expounding on point 3. Of course it's good to let some Singaporean brats have a taste of suffering the problems faced by our poor Indonesian counterparts but the hygiene was terrible. Are we going to learn things through poor hygiene? I say noooooo... but then again that only proves that I'm behaving more and more like a Singaporean brat so yes I admit I deserve that treatment. Still, now that I'm back, it doesn't mean I can't blog about it aha!

POINT 1: SUSCEPTIBILITY TO RAIN
Now I'm sure you'd all have seen rain before so I'm not going to include a picture here. If you still don't know what is rain like, go stare out of your window until you see water falling from the sky and maybe you'll have your answer. Alternatively, you could go to http://sg.yahoo.com and search under "Pictures" - Rain - Ar, eh, ai, en, that's how you spell "rain". Then you'd have lots of images there and if you STILL don't get what is rain, you'll never get it so just quit it will you.

Basically, rain does not go well with tents. Especially if you are going to sleep inside the tent. Well unfortunately it rained while we were in Bintan and so our tents got affected (ie FLOODED DAMN IT). This can only prove that 1) our pitching of the tents sucks, 2) it rained real heavy or 3) both. Still, since everyone's tent got flooded I figured it's probably due to the weather. My point is that we came to CCAL Camp to learn about Kouzes-Posner leadership (ya righttttt), not to get our tent flooded and catch the common cold.

Therefore if they could not provide us with excellent conducive study areas like the hotel rooms in the resort opposite the campsite, the least they could do is stop the rain. Or they jolly well go build a roof on top of the whole campsite. I know it's not easy, but it's not easy sleeping in water either. Now if anyone's going to bring up the idea of the water-bed, let me remind you that the water is IN the bed, not forming the bed.

So there. CampABLE and its bad non-rainproof system.

POINT 2: ROOTS
Well taking the ground to be the x-axis and taking the tree roots to be, well, roots, I think there are plenty of intersections. It's as if the graph plotted has powers of 124863572 or 248233156 or 87607922356, or better known as infinity. These sneaky devices planted on the ground serves to trip you and damage your ankles seriously. Having an ankle problem before, I declare CampABLE a dangerous ground to stay in because of the treacherous terrain. What's more the PE Department doesn't make it easier by making mother-big tentages in the middle of nowhere, and when you have big tents you get ropes all over the place.

Which yet again, aids in tripping people up. After making this long trip to Bintan, I think it's too much of them to expect us to trip again. Thus it's most certainly unreasonable to ask us to camp here where every damn thing's so trippable. Speaking of which, I think CampABLE can change its name to many other things with the same suffix -ABLE: perhaps like tripp-ABLE, flood-ABLE, dirty-ABLE, etc.

I figure you might be sick of my ranting so I'll move on to my diagrams.

POINT 3: CAMP FACILITIES
The most important and basic function of a human is to use the toilet. Don't try to dispute that because you know you can't live without a toilet for a day. (Actually you can but you'll have to pee behind rocks which is highly disturbing and you can't shower there so you get my drift.)

So basically - I was looking forward to having nice little toilets at the camp. After all with such crappy places to sleep in and to eat in, one might think that we deserve at least nice places to relieve ourselves right?

WRONG. Oh very WRONG.

There was a toilet briefing on the first day of camp and I almost forgone my dinner after that. Since I had such a bad experience, let me share it with you by illustrating the situation there. I promise you that this is nothing but the truth.



Just imagine. Dirty blue tiles all over the floor, then when you open the door to the cubicle.. you get the shit that is above. Now I admit I might use the word "shit" a little too freely, but you could take it in the literal sense. Some inconsiderate bugger who decides not to flush (ie pour water into the toilet bowl) will kill your appetite easily.

Oh and what's more the camp commandant didn't allow shoes in the toilet. Means if the inconsiderate bugger were to be slightly more inconsiderate and does his business outside the cubicle..

Just think about it. Since the toilet is so damn dirty anyway, how much more dirt can we bring in by wearing our shoes? Okay granted we might bring sand/mud in from outside, but would you rather step on things that come from inside your body or things that come from outside the body?

I'm being disgusting here. Bear with me for a while. Thankfully for you, you've got an Alt-F4 to put an end to this misery. Me? The only Alt-F4 I had was to mutter F for 4 bloody days that seemed like eternity. Especially when I needed the toilet. Ughhhhhhh!

Anyway moving on, the next picture shows your intelligent Indonesian architecture:


There's this bloody big door for dunno what purpose and uh, the showers were right behind it. I think the picture says it all. The cubicles were to the right and I tended to avoid it as far as I could, which meant that I usually shower more than anything. Of course, I usually took the showers on the furthest left to avoid the smell. Basically you just have to know that the toilet was some haven for dung beetles and gays.

Tsk just look at the communal showers. Enough to make your mama's boy cry and say "I don't wannnnnnnna batheeeee!" By the way the changing area is also near the door, which is quite what the heck. The door is also rather wide, around the size of like two Moses Lims. Meaning if a few girls happen to pass by the door while you're changing up for the next activity it's GG and 有目共睹 for all of them.

Plus when you see the communal showers you must also consider that PE teachers shower that. Imagine showering with your PE teacher. That's just. WRONG!

Now you think you have what it takes to be a camper? First you try bearing the stench of the no-flush system (because frankly who bothers with flushing), and next you try showering next to your PE teacher. Oh and not to mention you have to deal with lizard shit all over the place.

Okay so after all these questioning, I figure you must be tired of hearing the nonsense required to become a top-notch camper at CampABLE. So I'm going to dedicate a special picture for our loyal readers of TCS. A picture of BATH-TIME at the camp whoooooooo!

Given my excellent photographic memory and my sketching skills, I am able to provide you with a comprehensive sketch of what's it like.

Here goes:


Yep so hope you enjoyed the CampABLE special on TCS. Damn it, during the camp when I thought of TCS, I was like thinking of adding a "YA" behind the TCS to make TCSYA - Toilets Can Steal Your Appetite. If you do come to this camp one day (like if you are some super sadistic idiot who wants to torture yourself), tell me what I've reported is true.

Sigh - perhaps the best type of campers are those in soccer.

(PS All that I've reported applies strictly and only to the boys' toilets of the camp because quite obviously, I haven't been to the girls' one and have no desire to do so. Although it might be very different from our trash, I seriously doubt it very much. I don't know if they've got that big door and showers behind it but just take my word for it that YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW!)

O-kayyyy

Just to let you know, the local idiot on TCS will be doing Orientation for the J1s next year!

O-kayyyyyy so I'm g-o-ing t-o have l-o-ts o-f fun o-rganising it!!!!!!!

Anyway apologies for not blogging these few days.. I've had two full days in school so there wasn't much time to do anything. BUT tomorrow you will have a sneak preview of what we did in Bintan for CCAL Camp. And lots of exciting pictures/diagrams done by me using the wonderful program of Paint will be on exhibition as well!

So you should not only stay tuned, but stay online!

Yep so see you tomorrow. Once again sorry for the lack of posts! But since it's the holidays we'll be back!

Still before I leave I'll give you a short article (written by myself).

-------
Short report on Orientation OGL pairing

Due to our extensive reading on GP packages about homosexuality and gender stereotypes, we have decided to apply this to our OGL pairing as well. Although traditionally the OGL has to be one male and one female, we must accept that society is changing and homosexuality is becoming more rampant now. As part of the RJC motto "Thinkers, Leaders, Pioneers" (or TLP for short, which in turn could stand for many other things ahem) - we have to learn to be flexible and adaptable to changes around us.

And in learning flexibility and adaptability, we become pioneers. The O-team 07 OGL pairing i/cs, which consists of an idiot who goes by the initials of WSX and myself (another idiot), have decided that we would start a new trend and allow male-male or female-female pairings. The exciting piece of news is said to excite homosexuals in the Council but some others have expressed regret and disgust at this new movement.

We did a short survey about our plan, and the responses were as follows:
(names not given to protect identity)

"I'M SURE!!! YOU FAGUTS."

"Okay then I pair with you." (said from another guy)

"..." (with shocked look of expression)

"Wa lau you're damn screwed up la."

"What the hell lor."

Hmm looks like this movement of possible same-sex OGL pairing isn't very popular - but then as firm, strong leaders of the RJC population, we must learn to stick to unpopular decisions because we believe it's for the good of the people. Therefore if you have a problem, I suggest you stop bitching about it and accept the New Age Homosexual Society.

Judging by the responses of the councillors' faces, I'm guessing they DO want to bitch.

But since I judged responses, that would make me a judge.

Sorry man - judges' decisions are final and any appeals will not be entertained.

Though I will be glad to entertain if you ask nicely. - TCS

(article end.)

I believe that every word of Da Vinci code is true. And so should you

Hi people, I've got a big secret to confess to all of you.

All of you were wrong when you said that Leonardo da Vinci did not mean to tell us all those things about Mary Magdalene being married to Jesus and that the holy grail is a womb through his wonderful paintings.

Because Leonardo did mean to tell us all those things. I'm very sure of that.

But that does not mean that all those things were true.

Because Leonardo was talking cock.

He was a grand master of talkcocksummit from 1460-1519.

At that time, blogs weren't in fashion, paintings were. And he sure made tcs proud.

When yj said that tcs started last year in august, he meant the online section. The real history of tcs goes way back to the beginning of man himself.

We are the 102nd generation of a long line of grand masters at tcs.

One day we hope to climb a new mountain and name its peak talk cock summit. Or hopefully one of you can do it for us :)

Holland has won the world cup!

I know the world cup has yet to kick off, but I can't wait to share this piece of exciting news with you people out there! Holland has won the 2006 World Cup!

Last night, it was all dark. I was lying on my bed trying hard to fall asleep. And then, through the darkness, I saw the light. It was a narrow tunnel of bright white light, so shimmery that i could hardly open my eyes. And then a voice said in a serious tone," Holland has won the World Cup" and I saw the image of Ruud van Nistelrooy lifting the Jules Rimet trophy.

Everyone knows that the voices of dreams are to be trusted, so hurry up and head down to the nearest betting booth to place your bets now. If you don't want the free money it's your loss.

In fact, there is no way that Holland doesn't win the World Cup. The omens and signs and whatever shit are all there. For those thick-headed among you who still do not believe me, I give you more evidence.





















Take a good look at this picture.Whats the dominating colour? Orange. What's the colour of the national team of Holland? Orange. They're not called the Oranje for nothing. Further evidence:


What does this picture shows? It shows some Dutch player kicking Michael Ballack's ass. Dutch players are going to kick everyone's ass, and you'd better believe me.

All the matches have been fixed liao, by some mafia, and they've decided that Holland should win the World Cup since they've never won it before.

Actually the gangs wanted Angola, because the odds were the highest, but then it would have been too obvious it's all kelong, like last time the Greece win the Euro like that. But Greek fairytale sounds ok, while Angolan fairytale sounds plain weird. Maybe next time it's Saudi Arabia's turn. But they took the most pity with Holland, because now got global warming, causing the water levels to rise, and Holland is a low-lying country, next time World Cup don't know whether it's still around or not. So for Germany 2006, the World Cup winner is HOLLAND!

Damn the spam

What the heck. I just came back from Bintan (okay it's actually been a few hours) and my return to technology (teknologi) thus far has been rather disappointing. Here's why:

1) YL didn't blog today, which means I have to do it now at such an unearthly hour. (P.S. I had more time to sleep at the camp than in Singapore, damn it.)

2) My mailbox kena spammed, which wasn't much of a surprise. But you know how irritating it is to see one whole boxful of rubbish sometimes.

3) From point 2, I HAD a boxful of rubbish. Or at least, this one was. Today's post is just to condemn a silly chain letters that I received.

Anything in bold is my personal comment to it. Anything in normal font is the letter's f**ing rubbish. Here goes this shit:

---------------------------------------------------

This is without a doubt one of the nicest forwards I have received. Hope it works for you -- and me!
This doesn't make any sense and it's just darn gay. You DO NOT receive nicest forwards. Nice forwards are perhaps people like Michael Owen who seldom gets yellow cards in their whole playing career. Nice forwards play soccer, they do not go into your email.

You have 6 minutes
Why SIX? Why not five, why not seven, why not eight?

There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious.
Any advice governed by laws of superstition is not proper advice. It's bullshit and it's trash pulled out from nowhere, I'll have you know.

This has been sent To you from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far.
Firstly, I do not know Who The Shit is Anthony Robbins and I'm quite sure I Do Not Want To Find Out. Secondly, How The Hell are you supposed to know how many times it's been sent round the world. It's a bloody email, not something tangible. So their logic holds no water. Anthony Robbins is a wanker.

Do not keep this message.
You are so damn right I'm not keeping this message. I'm gonna bloody post it on my blog.

It must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.
It's not in my hands, it's in my mailbox. And since you're warning me that I'm getting an unpleasant surprise, it wouldn't be a surprise any longer. All that threatening you (ie the chain letter) are giving me is making me laugh at you. You sound like some sick despo ahahaha.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
How would I know what they expect?! So if they come expecting a slap, I'll just give them a full-body drubbing while grinning widely?

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
Stating the obvious. But this is a bloody discriminating fact because it's like saying you can't marry mutes. Which is so insensitive to them - are they not human as well?

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
I agree with the first part "don't believe all you hear". "Spend all you have" is just fking rubbish meant for people who want to become bankrupt. The last bit "sleep all you want" is finally some sense.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
-.-" That's SO cliché.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
Then give him a black one.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
It contradicts the next point or it doesn't go hand-in-hand with it at least.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
There is no such thing as love as first sight. Love only comes when you understand a person - and before you accuse me of talking cock, go open your "No Ap0logies" booklet. Anything at first sight is either lust or infatuation. So there, stupid Anthony boy.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
People who dream too much fail Chem test. I am a living example. No wait, I'm a dreaming example. And just because I might laugh at someone else's dream doesn't mean I don't dream myself.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
The only way to live life completely is to get hurt? This is suddenly starting to sound sadomasochistic (or whatever that long word is) and sadistic and just WRONG. I'm not particularly excited to receive cult newsletters in my Inbox.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
So you can punch and kick but you cannot use words? That's dumb.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
This is getting funny because of the stupid words "judge" and "relatives" but it's an inside joke. And this is relatively more sensible compared to the rest. Though it hardly makes much sense.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
You'll end up like a certain Mr CKM, who is a big shot in charge of boarding. Name is censored to protect identity. Though of course one might dispute the fact that he even thinks.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
There shouldn't be any set way to reject a question. There are always more viable alternatives like 1) lying, 2) crapping and 3) saying "f**k off".

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
Remember that great crappers must have great inboxes with great bullshit in them.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
This is sensible, but it's common sense. And whether you say it or not really makes no difference to the person unless he's some New Age Sensitive Guy like Anthony Robbins.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .
What The Hell. LOSING IS LOSING.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
What about R for Raffles? The stupid first two Rs are essentially the same since they all mean respect.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
It's not our choice. If only we can "let" it hurt our friendship. -.-"

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
That's bad spelling (the "realise" is spelt the silly American way) and perhaps now I'm finding out why these facts are so bloody stupid.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
YOU TRY SMILING AND TALKING LA!

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
That's fking stupid. Who doesn't spend time alone obviously doesn't sleep.

Now, here's the FUN part!
Is forwarding nonsense very fun? I doubt it.

Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve.
..only proving that it's your average chain letter, only with VERY LOUSY content.

1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.
If it does, it's because of me.

5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.
If it does, it's because of me.

9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks
LOL that's NEVER going to happen, Anthony Robbins you retard! You don't play the mathematics of probability with me, I have more sense than believing your shit.

15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. Do not keep this message.
Any backstabber could reach for my hand and touch my heart. And nobody in his right mind will keep this message. Please, it's so dumb that I bet it's either 1) a blonde or 2) an American or 3) both who wrote it. Your facts are fallacious or unclear, or either that I just don't like the stupid shit you have typed. Basically I dislike chain letters, and I dislike them even more when they make no sense.

So that's why I'm making it known to the world - don't send me unnecessary emails. I hate getting spammed by nonsense okay.

---------------------------------------------------

Now you might be asking "what's your dai ji" when you read the somewhat powerful insults that I use against a chain letter (okay makes me sound stupid). My problem is the unnecessary space taken up by this trash.

And anyway, I'm getting tired. So all you have to know is that Anthony Robbins is a damn wanker and YL should post more often. Now I'm looking forward to sleeping in a nice aircon room with a nice warm bed (contradictory) with no mosquitoes trying to sip YJ juice aka blood.

So in the process of forward-looking, I'll leave you to ponder about the stupidity of this post. Bye.

Happy Holidays!

Here I am again, thinking carefully about what to blog about. And the reason i have so much time to ponder over this is because the holidays are here. Woohoo! But is it only me who realises that the word 'holidays' is such a contradiction? The good thing is that you don't have to go to school. But the bad thing is that the coach thinks it's a good time to increase the number of trainings and the horrifying shadow of the common tests looms. I'm running out of things to say about the holidays without it descending into yet another full-of-shit guide, so I shall tell you people a story. A horror story. A really scary horror story. That combines all your darkest fears and insecurities.

let X be you

Here goes:

This is the tragic story of X. The June holidays are here! Cheers! One month of kickass freedom. But common tests is in the last week of June. X knows deep within that X should start studying. Eventually, he decides that he needs to study during the holidays. But when does X actually start? Right after all the movies, nights out, trainings, playing computer games, feasting on snacks and surfing senseless blogs(tcs is excluded). How is it possible that someone so bent on studying not study? Witness this monologue.

good side: It's time to stop playing and study!
bad side: Aiyah, never mind, can study tomorrow.
good side: How do you know there'll be a tomorrow?
bad side: I don't know, but if the world is ending before tomorrow, I study for fuck?

The dark side always wins. So X ends up studying only on the day before the common tests. But miracles happen, and he finished studying everything on that day partly because X is a genius. But tragedies happen too, and throughout all the papers, X's mind went blank, for unknown reasons. Imagine that you've forgotten everything that you've studied. So he failed all his common tests. After failing everything,X couldn't take any h3 subject, which was what X had always wanted to do. Then, X lost confidence in himself, saying, "I've studied everything. There's nothing more that i can do" and ended up failing his promos as well. X couldn't stand the shame of being retained, so he quit the school and...to be continued by yourself because I'm too godamn lazy.

but isn't it scary?

What to do if you're stuck on an island of idiots

Well yj and yh are on leave on the sunny paradise of Bintan, which happens to be island. No they probably won't be surrounded by idiots, but you never know. But I do wonder about the CCA Leaders' Camp. If everyone there's a leader, who's going to be the worker? But then again they have to carry stuff around, so that means some people will have to downgrade or demote to being mere workers like the rest of us here. So in the end, the chao slackers are the leaders. Might as well call it the CCA Workers' Camp.

Like all good essays, first I must define what I mean by idiots. Dictionary.com states that
"A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive." Well, for me, it's a lot simpler. Anyone who I find irritating is an idiot, and it is just my personal classification table.
10 descriptions of people with no.1 being used to describe the most hated.

10. stranger
9. acquaintance
8. daoing target
7. bitch
6. idiot
5. cb
4. dickhead
3. asshole
2. bastard
1. fucker

I'm sorry this 'guide' is only useful when it's an island full of idiots and not of assholes, because I think its very disgusting if there's such a thing as an island of assholes. There'll be shit all over the place.
On the other hand, it won't be that bad if you have an island of bitches, because then you wouldn't have to worry about food. Dog meat is quite tasty, i guess. How do you get a bitch? First you catch a bee, then you get an itch, which gives you a bitch (beeitch). An island full of fuckers would be, ahem, like Temptation Island. And an island full of bastards would mean lots of irresponsible parents. So enough crapping, let's get to some more practical stuff.

1. Swim away you idiot! That's what I train waterpolo for, to allow myself to get away from dangerous situations. No doubt yj and yh have the same abilities as me, so don't be surprised if you suddenly see either of them walking along a street in Singapore tomorrow.

2. If you can't beat them, join them. Talk to yourself. Be more idiotic than them. Better still, be a stinking asshole. That way, everyone will siam and you can have the island all to yourself. One idiot is better than an island of idiots. But do be careful about talking to yourself too much. Cos maybe you'll develop split personalities and 2 personalities cannot fit into one body. There'll be a personality clash which means a conflict between yourself and your other self. Then you'll start fighting yourself, and finally kill yourself. Which might not be a bad thing, but that's besides the point.

3. In the last paragraph I said that if you can't beat them, join them. But the truth is that in most cases, you can beat them. Oh and add slash and maim to that. See that shiny chopper on the table? Take it. Wave it around. Slash someone or something And now you can go become king of the island. Show everyone who's the real leader. Let everyone kneel in front of you and your right-hand man the Chopper. That's assuming the others don't have weapons of course. This must have been a result of my watching My Wife Is A Gangster. Anyone you don't like? Slash chop poke (use the seemingly innocent chopstick to poke the eye) until all that's left is a crumpled heap of corpses. and an eyeball-on-a-stick. Domination by force.

4. Play dead. Idiots don't care about team play or anything. Idiots only care about themselves, so if you play dead, they'll sure leave you alone. Of course, it'll be more convincing with a pool of blood all around you so that nobody even dares to come close and see whether you're actually breathing. ( From the movie Saw) Everyone assumes you're dead. So in the middle of the night, you take a wig, paint yourself a ghostly white, and start calling people on their handphones, (for those who think that islands don't have reception, allow me to remind you that Singapore is an island) and make all sorts of weird noises. And then you make your grand entrance as sadako to scare everyone away and kope all the food and drinks. To make things more realistic, you might want to find a well that you can climb out of. If you accidentally fall into the well, this whole sadako thingy might just come true.

5. Pray. For a volcano to erupt or an earthquake to happen such that nobody survives it but you. Or better still, pray for floods, and start building your ark. They laugh at you now, but who'll get the last laugh when the rain comes? Haha, actually i think it's them, because they're such idiots that when the rain comes, they'll just kope your ark and throw you into the sea. I have no idea why the sinners in the Noah's Ark story never attempted to take his boat by force. Aren't sinners supposed to do evil things like that?

Ok so I'm done with this 'guide'. Follow the steps prescribed at your own peril. Oh and I hate pw.

The pre-empted post

Hi, this is YJ here reporting live from Bintan, Indonesia.

Yes I'm here because of CCAL Camp and contrary to popular belief, Indonesia does have internet access. Only it's kind of lag so you'd probably won't get to read my post until like, 2 hours after I've posted it. It's now 8pm Bintan time, which means it's 9pm Singapore time (as Indonesia somehow is stupidly one hour behind us even though geographically they are to our east) - and which also means you'd only get to read my post at 11pm.

Aww that's kind of sad, by 11pm most good little kids would have slept. And since this blog is the blog of a no life, I must imagine that our readers are good little kids.

Anyway let me tell you about Founder's Day. It was THE ULTIMATE BOMB BORING MAN! Imagine a whole swarm of people in black and white (those who couldn't loan blazers) in a hall, each one moving up the stage one by one. It's scary and boring, I tell you. Anyone from the top would think that we were a bunch of black ants and termites, but surprisingly it's only the black ants that go onto the stage to receive their prizes.

Sounds confoundingly gay? Forget it. It IS confoundingly gay. After all, it is FOUNDer's Day. So by right it should be very conFOUNDing and since "gay" rhymes with "day", it also should be gay.

Some logic.

Then after that we rushed off to the ferry terminal to go to Bintan. The weather was being gay like the Founder so I got a headache on the bus. Subsequently the headache converted to become a headache in the ferry. Then when I got to Bintan the choppy Indonesian waters had pwn3d me flat.

CCAL Camp was pretty rubbish - we spent a lot of time slacking around and wasting time. So like YL said you should really find out what the acronym means. In the case of our group we've got a lot of cocksters so CCAL stands for Crazy Cocksters At Large. Like since we escaped Singapore customs to go fool around in the sun in Bintan, I guess we are at large.

Sigh - but I'm missing home noww and I wannaaaaa cryyyyyyyyyy :'(

This might be day one out of day four. But since four days can fly by so easily (especially this week) - I'd be back real soon. Sorry for the lack of updates because I doubt I'd be getting computer access tomorrow. Meanwhile you can look forward to more rubbish from YL.

Okay before you receive the post real late, I'm going to stop now. As I mentioned earlier, Indonesian komputers are real lag. You're having live updates from YJ in Bintan, 2 hours late. Okay see ya then!

Hectic schedule

Well recently I've been busy doing crap for my girlfriend (if you need more reminders, she's called Council and is still as irritating as ever) so I've been having little sleep and too much emotional baggage thanks to this girlfriend of mine.

She keeps making me slog like mad and I get damn sad when I see no returns. High risk no return - that's not my style. I'd rather no risk and high return.

And yet I've to remain faithful to her because she's put THE CURSE OF THE COUNCIL (ya it's named after her) on me. Everyday I wear a badge pledging my faith to her, and I can't take it off for the rest of my JC life. You could say it's a lifetime investment or a one-and-a-half year contract. You could call it a commitment. I call it stupidity.

So when I dropped a one dollar coin into the drain, I tried to be smart and tried to get it out without getting my hands dirty. Going into my girlfriend's bedroom (also known as Council Room), I found some string which I could use. Then I tried attaching it to a rod, followed by a magnet. If you know my girlfriend well, you should know she stores loads of rubbish in her bedroom. And many board games as well so if you get too bored one day, you could try loaning stuff from her yea.

Nevertheless, my point is that I got a rod, a line, and a magnet. Then I tried fishing, council-style. Like just sitting outside the council room like a fool sticking the line into the drain. After a while I realised that the magnet would not attract the coin. Coins aren't made out of copper nowadays.. I think. Being a n00b in metals, let us not discuss the material of which coins are made. It just didn't stick to the magnet.

So I decided to get a hook. Then started coin-fishing again round two.

Being a n00b I didn't realise that perhaps the coin had a circumference of pi multiplied by 2r and area was pi multiplied by r². Erm so basically it's geometrical state didn't quite fit the hook. Feeling rather stupid, I got fed-up and so I swung the damn rod around. I was running out of ideas and didn't know how to get the coin out.

This happened:


Today, I wasted my bloody time outside the Council Room and I lost one dollar. So much for hectic schedules, this is what happens when your brain doesn't work correctly. I mean some might argue that I was never mentally stable to begin with, but I can assure you that when I get little sleep and many other problems, I really do stupid things.

On purpose. (so I can blog about it).

..means when I'm feeling normal I just usually fabricate my posts. =)

Enough crapping. Tomorrow will be busy so see ya.

Random Explorations

I warn you... it's random.

If a couple break up, it's only polite to comfort them by saying "it wasn't meant to be". I mean, how can you say that they were "meant to be" and then they break up? It's like blaming them for not making it work and that just doesn't make sense.

Ever heard of the line,"The more I stare at you, the more beautiful you get"? I guess it's supposed to be a cheem way of saying that you are beautiful. But the more literal meaning is that my staring makes you more beautiful. So thats saying that I should stare more and please don't blame me for that.

Another random thing is that my computer internet connection sucks. I never know when it'll suddenly go off. And when it does, first i can't surf the net. then i'll be bitching about it on msn because for some reason i can stay connected to msn until the next time i sign out. And then its total disconnection. I feel ANGRY. Then i realise it's for the greater good because then i'll have no distraction and i can study. Then i'll go into my room and take out my work.And only after that will I realise that sooner or later i'll have to fix the connection because i'll have to do project work and blog with it. So out I go again in an attempt to fix it. I spend one whole f***ing afternoon fiddling with all the wires and connections, and in the process pissing myself off so much i get all wet and somehow when i tamper with the main power switch, it works! miracle, and i have absolutely no idea why becausethe power indicator on the modem was lit to begin with, meaning it shouldn't have been a problem with the power supply. But who cares, because it works!

And then the cycle repeats itself after one night. Wtf! In the end i don't do any work and i don't enjoy myself either and this sucks big time. In fact, it's happened so many times i cant really consider it random anymore.i hate faulty technology.

Clarification

Haha for all those who thought that I was really angry on Monday..

..no I'm not going to ask you to "get lost you fool"..

I wasn't. (Gotcha?)

As this is TCS, you should always prepare yourself for loads of fabrication and tons of lies to be told. Of course here at TCS we don't call it lies.. we call it "cock". Stuff that is just purely made up of the air, the air, and nothing but the air. Your Chemistry (or for that matter General Science) textbooks won't tell you this, but sometimes matter can be created out of nowhere. Like matters of the heart. Which means matters of the heart getting worked up and pumping madly because I'm angry.

Basically we fabricate. And we create matter.

Whether you believe it or not, it doesn't matter. Because we just do.

Right now get lost you fool.

TV Mobile!

This post will be about the shitty "TV Mobile" on some buses. Public transportation really is an endless source of inspiration for aspiring and respiring and perspiring bloggers. And this is how a good story begins.
So one fine day, i hopped onto this double decker bus and went onto the upper deck cos I knew this was gonna be a really long ride.

There was nobody on the upper deck. Perfect. So I slumped onto a seat and prepared for a wonderful nap. But sadly that wasn't to be, because there were 2 chao angmohs on the TV Mobile screen who just kept talking and talking about nothing important and wouldn't shut the hell up. I especially hate these shows where they do nothing but talk the whole day about some person's dress, and the whole day they go "Oh my God you're so beautiful!" Damn bloody fake. If everyone's beautiful, beauty ceases to be a value. Of course, here I'm being a superficial idiot and saying beauty is a value, but that's like a fact. Everyone values beauty. Would you go wear an ugly mask for every day of your life?

And another thing about TV Mobile is that it's 10% TV shows and 90% advertising. One minute you were watching the show, and before you know it, you've absorbed 9 minutes worth of numbing advertisements. It's total brainwashing.

TV Mobile is so irritating I ask the bus driver to switch the it off, but nooo, they can't do that! Company policy dictates that they can't switch the damn thing off. I wonder who were the idiots who supported having mobile TVs in buses. They either don't take the public transport or they are retards. So i had to spend the entire journey sulking, being forced to watch the stupid tv.

Actually TV Mobile is a misnomer because the TV is not mobile. And how do I know? By trying duh. No matter how hard I tried to pull, the TV just wouldn't move. At first, I thought it could. Which is why I brought the butterfly net and the stun gun and the tranquiliser darts. What a waste of equipment. I thought a TV in my room wouldn't hurt.

TV in the bus simply cannot count as televsion. In fact, i think it stands for something else. I don't know what t stands for, but I sure as hell know what V stands for. V for vendetta! Could it ever be anything else? Anyway, I read the comic book and it's very cool. Gives you something to crank your brain over. Like "Happiness is the most inisidious prison of all", I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. But the movie was good, especially the script, and i wonder why movies like this don't get to win Oscars.

But back to the bus. i hate the TV. Vendetta! Somebody do me a favour and burn all the TVs please.

More anger, perhaps?

I JUST LEARNT THAT MY GIRLFRIEND WANTS TO MEET ME AT 8AM TOMORROW.

NOW I'M FURIOUS AND BURNING WITH RAGE. SOMEONE HAD BETTER HOPE I DON'T COME TO SCHOOL IN A PILE OF CHARCOAL TOMORROW DAMN IT. I'M SERIOUSLY ANGRY NOW!

An angsty post

Damn it.. some of you take my TCS for a laughing-stock, come here to be happy and cheer yourself up for the day is it? Damn it.. have you never thought of my feelings? Have you never thought that I, as a normal student of RJC, also have my fair share of grievances and sorrows?

Okay. Judging by that look on your face I guess you don't. Damn it! So for all that shit, I'm going to give you an angsty post tonight. After all, you'd probably think I'm some happy-go-lucky can't care for anything idiot. This is to show you that I'm human - and pretty much an angry human. Don't blame me for the rage I'm going to unleash. It's my duty as an angsty blogger that has yet to post an angsty post on his blog.

Now for my day that made me so bloody angry. Don't ask me why, I just woke up angry. It's like one of those days where you just wake up angry. So like today, I woke up and I was angry. Don't get me? Get lost you fool. I just went to have my morning shower and damn it, there was no hot water. I mean I wasn't out to scald myself but I was freezing cold when I left the shower. Damn, now that really made me angry.

I got really angry at breakfast because I thought I was going to be late for school. Actually it wasn't that I was going to be late - but my stupid demanding girlfriend (called Council) had demanded that I meet her at 7:20am in the morning. Well the anger that I first felt now carried over, because I was going to be late for my meeting. Getting really angry at that thought, I just grabbed my stuff and ran out of the house. So much for my anger. While I walked to school, the birds chirped happily above in the trees.

Just what the hell was wrong with them? Could they just shut the **** up? Bloody noisy flying creatures just had to make so much noise when I'm angry. It just made me all the more pissed off. I got to school and realised that I didn't wear my Councillor badge. Then some people started laughing at me and I got really angry. What's wrong with not wearing the RJ badge? Damn it am I not part of the school? My anger soon multiplied (like tenfold) as I went up to assembly and I found out that the stupid 25ths had already stepped down. Which means I don't get to hear their high-pitched voices which might sooth my angry senses.

Instead I hear Jason Lau's husky voice. Which I don't find anything wrong with it usually but on such an angry day, I just got angrier because I've been hearing boys' voices for 4 years. It's not that I was trying to fight for woman's rights as well but I. WAS. JUST. ANGRY. Like what the hell, the microphone wasn't working again and the voice was coming out all muffled. I angrily stormed off to Chemistry tutorial.

I'm usually in a good mood for Chemistry tutorial because much as I suck at the subject, I loved it. This morning no - I was angry. And the teacher was asking for tutorials which I didn't do. So I got pretty angry and soon my temper was at saturation point, kind of like your stupid alkanes on your stupid Chemistry tutorials. Yet again if you don't get what I'm saying get lost you fool. Go learn some Chemistry and go learn how saturated my temper was.

Then as you know alkanes have really low boiling points as compared to like alkenes or arenes. So I almost raged out loud. But I hit boiling point when my teacher asked me to go up to the board. Damn it HOW WOULD I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!! I shouted at him, "I don't know how the **** to do it la!" and he got angry. Which in turn got me angry because it was him who started all that shit. If he hadn't asked me to go to the board to do silly Chemistry questions, wouldn't everything be fine? Now he made me angry. And I was angry.

Another person was sent out of the class for not doing tutorials as well. And I was sent out for being angry, which gave me more cause to be angry. And great - that made us a lone pair outside the classroom while the other students stayed inside the class for Chemistry tutorial. I felt miserable, but more angry. What was worse was that like two electrons (in lone pair) we didn't like each other. So I just stood at one side to let my anger boil and boil while the other fagut just laughed away at me.

There was a free period so I thought my mood would get better. I went to library to watch Hard Gay but that only served to make me more angry when I learnt that there was no bloody sound. Stupid librarian bitches, could they not just BLAST SOME SOUND? It would alleviate my anger. But NO watching Hard Gay without the sound is like having prawn noodles without the prawn NOR the noodles. Like what's the damn point if you give me something without the main thing in that thing? You might as well not give me anything!

I felt like getting angry at the librarian, but I decided sleep would be a better option. All the prime sleeping spots were taken up though. More reason to be angry. In the end I went to sleep on one of the tables in anger, and if you know anger you know that it carries on into your sleep. I couldn't even sleep peacefully, I had some angsty and angry nightmare. It just raged on and on. By the time I woke up for Maths lecture my face was all red and I was well-prepared to chop up anyone who dared get into my way.

Maths lecture was stupid as usual and the lecturer only made me angrier with his silly quotes. First was Alexander the Great saying "Fortune favours the bold" - which I got angry because I wasn't bold, I was more like italic and shadowed. Then he came up with his own quote (I'm not joking about this one), Mr Kok - "Lectures favour the hardworking." Just what the fag is wrong with him? He's such a bloody elitist that I got really angry. I slept again in Maths lecture but the angry dreams kept recurring so well, I really got flustered by the end of the lecture where I learnt nothing at all. And certainly not anger management.

I got angry at break because the queues were bloody long. As in they weren't exactly bloody but my eyes saw red and my head was literally boiling with rage so I saw blood everywhere. Yes I was that angry. Then I learnt that I had to go for match support so I got angrier because I had to pon my favourite Econs lecture. In the end I went for match with lots of anger and on the bus I was constantly ranting loudly and angrily about how angry I was. In the end I spurted many words of anger and it hurt a lot of people. Then some of them got angry but what is wrong with them, I AM THE ONE WHO IS ANGRY.

Gah. Not going to talk about long angry bus rides anymore.

I got into Jurong East Sports Hall for support and that only made me all the angrier because the f***ing management refused to turn on the aircon even though we were there to cheer our team on. Now that really made me angry (as in more angry than any other thing today) because that made me perspire a lot. Which in turn made me damn flustered and pissed off! So being soaked in sweat I got even angrier. Then I started cheering like mad and lost my voice because being angry, I cheered angrily and loudly.

When I lost my voice, I reached breaking point. I went to get drumsticks (ie cheering tools) and started hammering on the ground hard. Then when it didn't break it occurred to me that I was quite weak and so I got really angry. I threw the drumsticks hard on the ground before stalking away. Then I discovered I made a crack on the ground - which got me quite angry because it makes me start to wonder what on earth (NO PUN INTENDED WHEN I'M ANGRY) those silly architects are doing. Bloody weak cement.

Having a French exam, I angrily walked out when we were leading 2-1 for Boys and when the Girls Team won 3-0. It got me angry when 1) there was no transport back to school and 2) I had to take bus all the way back for some stupid French exam? Damn it, when I walked out I saw the bus driving away. I got really angry because I thought the bastard driver was trying to dao me - which he probably was so I have reason to be angry!

I chased the bus with my angry heels pounding on the warm ground. Smoke billowed from my nose and my feet was combusting at an alarming rate. Some people took water hoses and fire extinguishers to douse my anger but DID I CARE? I was out to catch that bus. With my anger that spurred me on, I eventually caught up with the bus at the next bus stop. Then I generously showered some choice expletives on the bus driver which made him angry but DAMN IT, I have more reason to be angry!

I got up really flustered. I was really shagged by then so I angrily went off to sleep. Then as you know the anger got carried over into dreamland again so when I woke up I got really really furious at what the hell the world was turning out for me. And when I glared out of the window I found out the retarded bus driver had already driven on from RJC. What the heck! Damn it I missed my stop! That stupid fagut obviously had something against me, so I went down to give him Choice Expletives Part Two. Then alighted at the next stop with much anger.

I walked back to RJC with anger to meet up with YL. I was really angry by then - so I went to the toilet to cool myself off. However it didn't help when I went to pee and smoke was coming out from my boiling pee. Damn it, how irritating was that. Still boiling and raging, I went to wash my hands which instantly gave off smoke as well - kind of like when you put some hot metal into cool water suddenly. Those silly tripod stands and stuff. Crap, was I angry!

Got my bag, met YL and stormed off angrily to MOELC. It didn't help that my stomach was rumbling but we were late for the French exam. Our teacher had so very unkindly started off without us which made me really angry, like what the hell is wrong with him, couldn't he wait a bit? I sat down at my table with much rage and almost broke the chair. I could hear the cracking sound but I still held on. Then with much conviction that I should overcome my rage, I grabbed my pen and almost snapped it into two. I read the questions for the compositions.

My teacher went, "Yejie, tu es en colère?" (Are you angry?)

Me: "Va te faire foutre!" (no translation since I'm feeling bloody angry)

I wrote so hard that my pages tore and I got really pissed off. My teacher told me to go out and cool down but it turned out that it was raining so I got soaked. And even more angry. He made me waste all that time outside while the rest of the class finished their compositions. I got a zero for that segment which got me kind of angry. It's kind of angry because at this point I was just simply fuming. Like the tips of my fingers were experiencing sublimation and going off into gaseous state.

Put simply, I was ragingly fumingly goddamningly crazily boilingly flamingly furiously madly angry.

The listening comprehension was the final straw. Being unable to hear any shit that came out from the radio (much less any French), I just banged the table and BOOM it caught fire. The rest quickly used water from their bottles to put out the fire so okay I almost burnt down the container at MOELC. My teacher said he was going to report this to the authorities. Which means I might get hauled up for arson, what the flaming hell. Of course I was angry but I just slammed the door on my way out. I was going home.

While I was walking home on damp ground, I began to review the day. Like what the hell was wrong with the world, getting me angry so easily?

I came to one conclusion: That the world is some screwed up place, only know how to make nice guys like me angry.

Which got me angry again. ARGH. So I went home and had an angry dinner, took an angry bath, and here I am blogging with much anger and angst. These two words are pretty much the same to me. After all both words start with "ang" - dialect for "red" - and universal colour of anger. Don't believe go MSN and see what colour the emoticon for anger is. Okay so I got really pissed today. Angry, ANGRY!!! I'm just going mad.

Why all the anger and hate?

Don't ask me why. Just get lost and sleep you fool. Anger translates to sleep, but you'd probably wouldn't be angry. Just take it from me that anger is not good for your health. Now go screw off and learn some anger management.

Differences Part Two!

Well after Part One I said there would be a continuation.. and here it is, albeit a little late. You can't exactly blame me though, I spent Thursday spraining another side of my ankle and rehearsing late into the night.. Friday was spent racing with the 157 to Toa Payoh Sports Hall (to prove that public transport is not necessarily the fastest way) and Saturday was the birthday of YL so I just had to do a special on him.

Now that it's Sunday and when I start getting bored, I decided to continue exploring the differences in RI and RJ. Something which I miss in RI. The second thing is:

2. CHANGING IN CLASS/CORRIDORS
You didn't read it wrongly - changing in class made up a huge part of my RI life - like take every PE lesson and 5 minutes of changing in class. For four years. That makes up a huge chunk of school life. And it saves up a lot of time unlike in RJC when you have to walk all the way to the toilet just to change up for PE. How stupid is that now. Of course although it is stupid, it is being done for impractical reasons. So don't get me wrong, I'll still change in the toilets now. Only that I find RI life so much easier and more convenient.

The advantages of changing in class is not only limited to saving of time and convenience, there is also the facilitation of stripping. Coming from a class of excellent strippers (ie people who strip others on their birthdays or simply for the heck of it), I understand this point very well. PE lessons are used as an avenue to get your clothes off - and when YOU get your clothes off and are about to get another set of clothes on, a bunch of idiots might decide to make it stay off. I'd like to clarify at this point of time that I am not a stripper. I am merely an innocent bystander who's enjoying all the fun going on.

And now where's the fun? You can't strip anyone in the toilet because it's too dirty. What's more, it's not very nice to stay long in a place where there's a stench. Oh and plus there's no excitement of female teachers butting into the males' toilet suddenly. Unlike RI where teachers still had the right to come into class to watch boys change. I'm not suggesting that they did it on purpose, but it's happened before.

This is going out to those boys still in RI. You'd better chair-lock your doors and tape the glass windows. Ahem.

As for changing in corridors, that might not seem like a social norm though people do carry it out at times in desperate measures. Like if PE is before recess, and you get some fierce teacher after recess who simply won't tolerate you coming into class in PE.. a speedy change of clothes is required. Now I know some of you might be very amused and skeptical about this, but it is indeed a way of life in RI.

I'm not saying that I do it, but I'm not saying that I don't either. But as many people have said, "it's okay to offend as long as you don't get caught", it's okay to change in the corridor so long you don't get caught. Anyway it isn't an offence, check RI's rules and regulations and you'll find that I'm speaking the truth.

Basically in RI you can change anywhere that is remotely remote and where female teachers can't see you. The Air Rifle Range just beneath the canteen is excellent for those whom need a change of clothes after CCA. It's an offence to go out of school in PE, which in my opinion is bloody stupid of the RIPB, but then again when you have had enough demerit points to last you a lifetime you try to avoid getting booked again. So yes. Even with RIPB's stupidity - just conform to it sometimes.

In any case, it's now almost dinnertime and I'm famished. In fact, I think I'm late for dinner so you'd just wait for the third reason of what do I miss in RI to come out. This might be kind of boring so I might break the monotony once or twice with an irrelevant random topic - but because of my utmost respect for my alma mater, I must make these little emo posts once in a while.

By the way I read that Xiaxue the ***** has like 20k hits a day. And she's earning loads of money for it. Well so maybe in 2 days she'll get the number of hits that TCS gets in like, 8.5 months? Damn I feel so discouraged, perhaps YL the chiobu should put up his own chio picture so more old cheekopeks will get attracted to come visit our blog. In fact, I think I could find a picture to upload if not for YL's violent protestations.

Therefore, I'm really sorry to announce to all our readers that no, you won't be seeing YL's oh-so-chio picture. And for those who still read Xiaxue, stop reading her trash. Read mine. Because unlike her, I'm not out there for the money, I'm out there to write trash. Okay I'm talking rubbish.

Now I have to go and eat.

Comments from birthday boy

u_klun...my heart: once broken, considered sold says:
wah fuck
u_klun...my heart: once broken, considered sold says:
your post about me damn funny
u_klun...my heart: once broken, considered sold says:
oh wait
u_klun...my heart: once broken, considered sold says:
im supposed to say cheebye

Well here you go then. From the birthday boy. =)

Happy birthday YL!

Okay.. so after having celebrated my birthday last year and YH's birthday early this year.. the time has come to celebrate YUK LUN's birthday!!

Actually, if I didn't post today, the little thick-skinned boy will also post about himself anyway hahaha. After all, he's quite famous for his shameless MSN nicks on his birthdays - I still distinctly remember two years ago it was something like the genius celebrating his birthday or what.. (maybe I remembered wrongly), but more recently a year ago, it was like "16 years ago on this day.. a very important event happened on this earth." Or something to that effect. You get the drift.

So anyway for all our faithful readers out there, you get a complete write-up on YL today. Because I am going to list a few facts about him that you probably didn't know about. Of course, I am arguably not the best person to do a description on him, because I'm not THE expert on YL. There are many other people close to him than I am. But still, being an author of TCS who is willing to divulge information on YL, you'll just have to make do with the information I give you and take it all in.

Because no one else is going to do it. =)

So YAY random facts about YL!

1) He plays Gunbound like me.
Ya you got it right, he's quite no life as well. Only now that his computer is down and he's got no Gunbound to play, he has no choice but to err.. not play. We used to be a formidable (and guai lan) team once.. playing Tag games with Bigfoot and Sate (ya okay that's a trade secret but never mind, we're nice). Err and his level is a double metal axe.. some n00b, it's even lower than mine. Okay I play much more than him and my win rate is probably lower, but like I said he doesn't play now so this information is irrelevant. He's from the guild pizzahut and I bet you didn't know that. After all, would YOU play Gunbound?

2) He's a left-hander. And his left hand is weak.
In case you didn't know, Yuk is some mad left-hander because his right hand is stronger than his left despite using his left hand for everything. Don't believe me? Try arm-wrestling him. Of course, there's this possibility that you might experience total ownage against him if you are too weak or too strong, but the neutrals suggest that his right hand is stronger. Saying which, I think he blogs with his left hand only. After all, blogging is about writing and you do writing with only one hand right? (no pun intended) Err so he blogs with only his left hand, and it being weak, gets tired out easily. Maybe that's why his posts aren't as long as mine.

3) His greatest achievement is planning a class outing.
With YL and I both screwing up our LES interviews, I feel qualified to laugh at him because he's probably laughing at me for my answers. Like when I said "I have a lot of passion for waterpolo" in one part then the next moment I said "I was sick of it" - when actually I wasn't really.. it's just that I preferred another sport. Well if you thought that was screwed up you should have heard what YL said. In response to the "What do you think is your greatest accomplishment" question, he gave a very very very funny answer. As in, nothing wrong with it, just that I wouldn't say it to my interviewers. Umm, you can go read the title if you want to know what his answer was.

4) He's a chiobu.
Contrary to popular belief that crushes are often one-way from the male species to the females, YL goes against this trend. With evidence that he is a male from his BC, he still gets tons of crushes from the opposite sex, therefore earning his nickname "chiobu". After all, as chiobus are always in demand and YL is in demand, it's only logical that he is being called a chiobu. That is if you'll ignore Mr. Kenneth Low's Logical Fallacies in Philosophy for a while. Well if I'm not wrong someone gave him a lovely purple sash as his birthday present.. with the word "CHIOBU" emblazoned right across it. Let's hope YL stays hot and chio and in demand.

5) He started Talk Cock Summit.
Now I guess I might have mentioned it many times before somehow, but now let me tell you officially - that this blog was his brainchild. Okay he has no child and whether he has a brain or not is debatable.. but you definitely must give credit to him starting TCS. It began from our Friday night talk-cock sessions, since Friday signalled the end of busy weeks in the past (now Saturdays are much more irritating) and we would like a nice long chat after a not-so-nice long training. Our topics ranged from girlfriends (which we have none duh) to class politics (like how he would bitch about Andre and how to properly handle a class), so it was rather memorable. Now we post our shit on this blog because he suggested the idea and with my being a blogger since Sec 2, the blog was born. And it's all thanks to him.

6) He uses "CB" more than I use "f***".
Overall I don't know who is more vulgar - but I must say that I hear Hokkien vulgarities out of YL more than I hear myself blurting the universal f-word. Eh but it's always interesting to note how sometimes he complements using "CB" with a prefix. Okay I think this isn't a very nice thing to notice but try talking to him one day on a topic he isn't very passionate about. Anyway these are random facts so yep, here you go.

7) He acts stupid but is actually damn smart.
Ya he'll keep complaining about how he doesn't know about chiral centres (now), meso compounds (now), latent heat (last time), equilibrium (last time), Chinese phrases (last time) and about how he didn't mug for this and that, but FINALLY when the results come out he actually just pwns your arse flat. Okay maybe not everyone, but he certainly does it for mine. Though arguably I have my days too, his probably far exceeds mine. His GPA is indicative of that of a genius, because he mugs VERY VERY little. Next time if you want him to slack with you for a test, make sure you secretly mug so you can beat him. Even though there is no guarantee that you'll win, it gives you great satisfaction to beat a genius.

8) He scores important goals for the waterpolo team.
There was that shot from the corner against the then-Chinese High (now Higher Chinese Idiots) to pull us level at 5-5 (though we lost out on goal difference, dang) and in our B division matches he did get a few crucial ones as well. YL was one of the most irritating sharpshooters in the waterpolo team, and I had a bloody hard time trying to save his shots during training. Of course, I can't very well comment about his skills now, but when I go down sometimes for shooting practice with him he shows his occasional brilliance by scoring that top-corner shot. I think other schools had better be warned about this. It's dangerous.

I was about to give 17 facts but there really isn't much time. So you might have to settle for half (like Eddie from A View From The Bridge, much-loved Lit book in Sec 4) and just take 8.5 facts.

Here is the half fact. (ie it's half fiction)

HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND ONCE.

Now it's entirely up to you how to choose to interpret this. After all 50% of something can be any 50%. Like if I give you 100 stickers, you can pick which 50 stickers you want and the other 50 to discard. Even though you might settle for half, and half and half is equal, you must understand from Animal Farm that "some animals are more equal than others".

Then as horses (or whatever animal) have calves and "calf" rhymes with "half, you can assume that animals are halves and thus some halves are more equal than others. Back to the point..

You can dissect this fact into two in different ways. I'll give you a few options of how you might choose to interpret it, but they do not necessarily represent my views. They are merely analyses. Remember, it is ONLY half a fact okay!

a) He didn't have a girlfriend, because having a girlfriend means two-way love. This meant that he liked the girl but no the girl didn't like him aww.

b) He didn't have a girlfriend, refer to above for reason. But this time it meant the girl liked him but he didn't like the poor, (probably) ugly sod. Oh well aww again.

c) From TCS's definition of girlfriend, the couple must at least admit that they are a couple for a day before it gets officially recognised. So YL and this girl were together for half a day. Then they started denying so it was really no count. Or maybe half a count at best.

Either way, settle for half or not - we have come to the end of the YL birthday special on TCS. Hope you enjoyed it and if you didn't, try settling for half. Read the top part and be happy with it. Okay I have four words of wisdom before I end off my post.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUK LUN!

(PS Any words said by geniuses = words of wisdom hahahaha. Damn I'm thick-skinned turning into YL soon lol)