GP Practice Part 2

"This GP (General Paper) is definitely much friendlier than your local GP (General Practitioner) or your mathematical GP (Geometric Progression)."

Well, well, with such excellent questions, I'm guessing that we have no choice but to take the passages from very trustworthy and powerful sources. That is why today we have two great masters of the English language to write passages about the topic which you should have inferred by now from the questions!

Or actually, these texts were written long before the questions were formatted. Like duh. Anyway do read these classic masterpieces. If you wish to submit your work, write it all down on foolscap and then drop them at the TCS pigeonhole at the first floor of Block A into the waterpolo board. Yup it's as simple as that. Being efficient markers, we'd hand them back to you as soon as possible.

After all we do realise the urgency of it all. You do need to find out your standard before the GP promos so you can get inspired to work harder (if you suck) or to keep up the good work (if you're tyco).

Right, I will not hold you back from reading wonderful texts from two of the most intelligent, resourceful and not to mention humble writers ever born into the human race. Being fully qualified experts in the field, they would certainly know what cock they're talking about, or what crap they're typing about. Just read it. And do your compres in preparation for tomorrow.

We wish you the best of luck for GP promos =)

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PASSAGE 1

Chan YL writes..
(Note we're not gonna spoil you by formatting it.
Count the bloody paragraphs yourself.)

1 B is for Big

2 U is for Ugly

3 A is for Asshole

4 Y is for You

5 A is for Are

6 Buaya stands for the big ugly asshole you are. Buaya.. is something I am not.



PASSAGE 2

Lim YJ writes..
1 Buayaism has plagued our lands for decades, ever since colonial Singapore was found by Sir Stamford Raffles in 1819, who incidentally set up Raffles Institution and have since had a whole string of places named after him. The swamps were found to be full of dangerous, hideous animals, and the indigenous Malays of our sunny island termed them "buayas".

2 Modern day buayas, however, exists in different states. (Though mostly solid.) From the kind that Steve Irwin used to hunt in Australia, there has been evolution in Man to match their DNA with the crocodilian species. Although biological evidence is much in want and the phylogenical links of homo sapien and crocodylidae is very much in doubt, the indigenous people of today have termed these humans "buayas".

3 The reason is not clear as to why such a classification is being made - but by default a "buaya" would mean a very flirtatious person with a decent amount of success. A flirt without any success is called a "despo", or in ruder but more precise terms, "fuck-up". The latter is rarely used in this context as it is currently being used for many other contexts, but the fact remains that to be a buaya you need at least a certain standard when it comes to qualifications.

4 What do buayas look out for? That really depends on the individual. Usually, the newly-inducted buayas will just look to gain more experience about the opposite gender and have some fun before levelling up to become a standard buaya, who basically toys with others' feelings and gains even more knowledge of their "friends" of the opposite sex. The final class of buaya is your ultimate Casanova who flirts like nobody's business and changes boyfriends or girlfriends as quickly as they can. Usually, their duration of having the same boyfriend or girlfriend is restricted to a week or less. Any exception is rare.

5 Nevertheless, it is often true that hardcore buayas are seldom respected by others. However, one cannot underestimate the power of hardcore buayas, for it is them who are the truly charming ones, exuding confidence wherever they go. It is also usually these sociable, lively people who make lives more interesting for the onlooker to watch. Emotional people are not recommended to play with buayas, for like the crocodylidae species, they can hurt one a lot. In this case, buayas will let the reality bite their counterparts.

6 Even though a balanced argument is in want and there are two sides to being a buaya, we must always remember that somehow animals are always on the brink of extinction and thus we should not take the buaya's existence for granted. One day they might just disappear off the face of earth, so it is important that we take a specimen today. Not that I feel they will disappear anytime soon, but the human-reptile hybrid of buaya is indeed a very fascinating topic to explore.