Biology in 1 day

After attending Biology lectures for five consecutive weeks, I have come to a conclusion that Biology is a muggers' subject. This is because there is no understanding required, everything is based on PURE HARDCORE MEMORY.

And thus to take Biology is to stress your memory limits.

I remember when I last took Biology in Sec 2, I scored the bloody highest for it among my three sciences. Says a lot about my other sciences doesn't it. But I duly rewarded Biology for being my best subject by dropping it the very next year.

You might think that I'm crazy and illogical, but well that's exactly how Biology works.

Biology must be applicable and useful. May I know what is the use if we study a subject just to know more random facts around the world? So what if I know that the bacteria has dilemma whether to turn on its enzyme-producing gene or not.. is it going to get me ten thousand dollars a month? I'd rather go drink milk and suck on lactose.

Still, don't worry. I'm not going to stay here and rant for an hour about Biology. I'm not angsty, I'm going to provide a Biological solution to this. How to prepare for Biology promos in just one day. Or one night, rather. You'd get what I mean later.

Here is the plan. But first we are assuming that you have the skin of humans, and it must be porous. Without pores, nothing goes in and nothing comes out. Biology involves the transfer of biological stuff at times, I do know, and in these transfers the least you can do is to provide a permeable membrane for the biological stuff to go through. I don't know if you'd term it steric hindrance, but basically to let stuff go through other stuff, the other stuff had better be permeable.

Well then, assuming that you have permeable skin, the only thing that you need to filter in is the Bio notes. Note that you can only carry out the reaction only if you haven't studied at all. For fagut muggers, you are not welcome to use this because it will only work against you.

Then again, if you are a fagut mugger, I doubt you'd be reading this. I only cater to the last-minute people who are aiming to get A without putting in effort. Like myself. Biology in 1 day is the ultimate guide for you.

Now that you have no knowledge of Biology and the notes are all there for you, all you have to do is to shrink them to a size of.. an atom. Or basically, you just need to shrink your notes to a very very very small size. Like perhaps Times New Roman size 0.000000001. Now the computer is not going to work at that sort of font size, and nor are you going to type out all your notes onto the computer before shrinking them.

So, you use a REAL shrinking device. THE WATER.

Stuffing all your notes happily into the water, you get an aqueous, concentrated solution of water. Only be careful not to put in too much water, we are here to absorb Bio notes not water.

Capillary action of water will see it flow from a higher place to a lower place. At night before you sleep, just stick your Bi0logy (aq) up somewhere and attach a DNA strand from the water down into the cerebral whatever of your brain. Basically just attach one side of the DNA strand to the water and another to your brand.

Yup, the DNA strand is optional, but it is used for good measure as the more biological the process gets, the more information you absorb. If you don't have any DNA strands, protein chains will also do. Don't do it with lipase as you might not pass your NAPFA after the night you rush Biology.

Go to sleep and wait. As Biology's law of diffusion goes, uh some things flow into some other things of different regions. Thus information must flow from a region of higher concentration to a region of lower concentration. (That's why no mugging is required.) Wake up the next day feeling all enlightened, and you'd be very grateful to me.

Of course, as osmosis is also very much a bi0logical process, you also risk losing whatever information is in your brain. That's why you shouldn't mug in the first place. You can't lose what you don't have.

Cheers to topping Bio promos! Remember to treat me if you do.