So im back finally, after a fantastic holiday! Hoooo! Now i gotta write down some stuff that i've learnt before the new year comes and the damned school starts.
No. 1
Look right then look left when crossing the road in France won't be necessary. Once you've looked right as you step out, bang!, byebye, you're dead because the vehicles go in opposite direction from Singapore. So you're supposed to look left then look right.
No. 2
In such a cold climate, everyone gives off smoke or whatever you call that white wispy thing when you breathe out. So from the back, it's virtually impossible to tell whether someone is smoking or they're just breathing in and out. Smokers rejoice! Less discrimination! Bad news for normal people. You won't know whether you're walking into bad breath or 2nd hand smoke or both!
No. 3
All the blacks think you're Japanese so they go "konichiwa" at you. Might be wise to take a samurai sword along and teach them a lesson on ethnicities.
No. 4
It's really true when the government says that Singapore has international recognition. All the French know there's a Singapore, they just think that it's a part of China, that's all. So if ever there's a World War, be rest assured, we're safe, nobody knows where Singapore is.
No. 5
School sucks. Well not much difference there, but their school ends later, so it sucks more.
Shall continue it soon... i hope
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Saturday, December 30, 2006
What do you call..
..the 31st December?
New Year's Eve.
..the 30th December?
The Eve of New Year's Eve.
..the 29th December?
The Eve of The Eve of New Year's Eve.
..the 28th December?
The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of New Year's Eve.
..the 27th December?
The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of New Year's Eve.
..the 26th December?
The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of New Year's Eve?
Hell no - that's Boxing Day.
---------
Sorry about that, I know it was kind of retarded. Anyway a few ideas I thought that I would like to accomplish for next year.. if you like the idea, we can work on it together. After all, we should always share good things eh.
WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR 2007
1. Kope Elango's bike
For those who don't know, Elango is this bastard security guard working for RI/RJ. Recently he has been kinda MIA and missing around school (and no we're not being racist here), but when he's around he barks at yowls at people. Sounds like a dog? He probably came from one. He also likes cycling around the school on the prowl for strangers. Duh, what do you expect, he's a security guard.
One day, I am SO going to ride off with his bicycle and see his reaction. Classic.
2. Play punk on Day One
Find some time to go back to RI and pretend to be the Sec 1. Height is no object, so long you speak fluent Chinese they'd think you're a China scholar. Going back to RI and blending with the n00b crowd has been my hobby since.. the start of this year. The Peer Support Leader (PSL) at the Junior Block thought I belonged to his class. Poor little sod. And now he's coming over to RJC where I do the orientation!!
What goes around comes around. For him trying to pull rank on me earlier this year (in January), I'm going to punk him when he comes to RJC. But before that, go punk some Sec 4s again. All you need is a pair of shorts, an RI shirt, and a confused look on your face. For the win.
3. Clean sweep "A" levels
Somehow this just had to come out. My assortment of grades this year was probably far from satisfactory - for I achieved EVERY GRADE POSSIBLE. Except "E". SomEhow. Next year, I want to be able to scream out my grades. Get the same thing as the name of the exams.
I think this is the best resolution ever. Because I won't know if I accomplished it in the same year. This way, I can tell myself at the end of the year that "ah this is one resolution that I probably accomplished". It's difficult to tell yourself at the end of the year that you actually accomplished the resolution at the start of it, unless you're a good liar or unless your resolutions are that easy to fulfil. Then there's no kick.
The classic New Year lame joke:
What's your New Year resolution?
Oh, 1024 x 768.
New Year's Eve.
..the 30th December?
The Eve of New Year's Eve.
..the 29th December?
The Eve of The Eve of New Year's Eve.
..the 28th December?
The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of New Year's Eve.
..the 27th December?
The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of New Year's Eve.
..the 26th December?
The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of The Eve of New Year's Eve?
Hell no - that's Boxing Day.
---------
Sorry about that, I know it was kind of retarded. Anyway a few ideas I thought that I would like to accomplish for next year.. if you like the idea, we can work on it together. After all, we should always share good things eh.
WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR 2007
1. Kope Elango's bike
For those who don't know, Elango is this bastard security guard working for RI/RJ. Recently he has been kinda MIA and missing around school (and no we're not being racist here), but when he's around he barks at yowls at people. Sounds like a dog? He probably came from one. He also likes cycling around the school on the prowl for strangers. Duh, what do you expect, he's a security guard.
One day, I am SO going to ride off with his bicycle and see his reaction. Classic.
2. Play punk on Day One
Find some time to go back to RI and pretend to be the Sec 1. Height is no object, so long you speak fluent Chinese they'd think you're a China scholar. Going back to RI and blending with the n00b crowd has been my hobby since.. the start of this year. The Peer Support Leader (PSL) at the Junior Block thought I belonged to his class. Poor little sod. And now he's coming over to RJC where I do the orientation!!
What goes around comes around. For him trying to pull rank on me earlier this year (in January), I'm going to punk him when he comes to RJC. But before that, go punk some Sec 4s again. All you need is a pair of shorts, an RI shirt, and a confused look on your face. For the win.
3. Clean sweep "A" levels
Somehow this just had to come out. My assortment of grades this year was probably far from satisfactory - for I achieved EVERY GRADE POSSIBLE. Except "E". SomEhow. Next year, I want to be able to scream out my grades. Get the same thing as the name of the exams.
I think this is the best resolution ever. Because I won't know if I accomplished it in the same year. This way, I can tell myself at the end of the year that "ah this is one resolution that I probably accomplished". It's difficult to tell yourself at the end of the year that you actually accomplished the resolution at the start of it, unless you're a good liar or unless your resolutions are that easy to fulfil. Then there's no kick.
The classic New Year lame joke:
What's your New Year resolution?
Oh, 1024 x 768.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Tactics of the middle-class
I'm in the mood, in the mood!
Today we will cover survival tactics. In modern Singapore, you might think that it's redundant and trashy to learn about whatever survival crap. But you never know when it comes in handy! It is precisely in modern, cold and heartless Singapore where survival tactics are absolutely (and I say ABSOLUTELY YEA) important for one's well-being.
In the struggle for economic growth, it is inevitable that people get left behind. Yup I know I'm sounding like some Social Studies student giving bullshit (that's what I used to do anyway) - but hey if Singapore was that good you won't have aunties selling tissues at three packets for one dollar right.
They think it's romantic, the way the auntie sings her one-dollar song. But she's a nuisance and a victim of the social system. The rich only gets richer and the poor gets poorer, as other societies have proven. I don't know which one specifically, but that's quite a catchphrase so let's just apply it in Singaporean context. The rich DO get richer.
But me, I'm definitely NOT rich. Born in mediocrity, I've lived my entire life in mediocrity.. until my pocket money got cut for these holidays. Rationale given: I don't need to go to school so my upkeep is lower.
Yea right. Then Council calls us back for Orientation prep every day and I see my money diminishing like the way the fish in a fish farm disappears in a flash flood. (That's kind of a tongue twister anyway, real cool.)
In the middle-class it's make or break. You either get richer or poorer. But one tilt to the poor side, and I'm almost down the proverbial poverty cycle (you gotta thank PW for this). With less than $50 to spend a week, ALL EXPENSES INCLUDED, I started to devise some tactics for the middle-class tilting towards poverty. Very useful, or at least it kinda works for me.
1. Food
Most important. Unfortunately sometimes you can't control your hunger pangs and when you need to eat, you need to eat. For someone as great as I am, I have GREAT hunger pangs too. And the important lesson to learn here is that we, members of the middle-class, go for quantity not quality.
With $2 in hand and a dinner to go - which do you choose? A baguette, 80% of ban mian (you could try your luck with the auntie), nasi lemak from S11, or biscuits from NTUC?
The answer is very simple, but only a true middle-class citizen would get it.
You don't buy anything, but you go home and drink tap water. Or if you're afraid of drinking up red rust along with dangerous sodium- or magnesium-based chemicals, you could boil the water. No difference since it's free anyway. Water can contain your hunger for a while, and if you spam so much that you're bloated, hunger will float away from you.
If this fails, an allowance of fifty cents can be given so you can spam tau huay zui (soya bean). Make sure its hot and you take it down in one gulp. Either that or you go and sleep. Run 10km, spam water, then collapse on your bed. Absolutely economical.
2. Transport
Quite obviously I'm an advocate for healthy living, because as YL has mentioned before and as I'd like to reiterate, I'm an enemy of the public transport system. Just that running about too much has taken its toll on me and I've now damaged both knees (jacked). That's why I took the MRT yesterday.
But as much as possible, you must consider all possible transport options. Taxis are a definite no-no. Somehow supply of taxis doesn't go very well with demand and in the midst of all that supply-demand shit the price just keeps increasing. Gay. As if it wasn't bad enough that GST is going up and so are bus fares.
Solution - boycott taxis. I've lived without them for five years and I'm still surviving. If you are in a hurry and the bus/train won't get you there on time, it's where your improvisation comes in. For example, if you are stuck at RJC you could kope Elango's bike and just scoot off.
Those bloody security guards, they leave their bikes around too much anyway. If ever you have to do it one day, make sure it's Elango's bike you take. That old fagut barks far too much for my liking, and I'm not afraid to blog about it because he IS quite a fagut.
When I say "consider all options", I really mean consider all options. Say I'm at Toa Payoh Lorong 1 trying to get to Junction 8, do I take the bus, the train, or walk? With time constraint, walking isn't really possible so you'd have to accept the alternatives. However, I'd say the train would be better for such a case as they charge 40 cents as opposed to the bus's 45 cents.
(If you do this for eight days consecutively, you'd save 40 cents. Which means you can spend more on FOOD - the cheapest mineral water in NTUC (500ml) costs merely 40 cents, a bargain. The wonders of saving money, you never know. Many a mickle makes something big, I forgot the proverb but yea basically you can accumulate LOTS OF MONEY by saving small everyday.)
The economists were right. You DO consider opportunity cost everyday.
And don't listen to all that crap where time is money. Time ISN'T money. Not now anyway, so it's okay to be late if it doesn't cost you any job options. You might call it a bad attitude, but hey, for the sake of MONEY, why not!
A bad attitude does not cause you any money. Remember that. However, a bad approach to public transport does. Just remember LTB - Legs, Trains, Buses (for short distance). Taxis aren't an option. You could use interesting acronyms to help - Love The Bus, Let Them Be, yea whatever you get my point.
3. Love
Where should you bring your girlfriend for a HOT lunch date?
A restaurant? A nearby hawker centre? Mcdonald's?
If you've been paying any attention at all and absorbing what I'm saying, you'll find that the best type of girlfriend a middle-class guy could have is no girlfriend. If you want to do something you might as well do it to the best of your ability. Thus, what's the point of having a girlfriend when you can't spend anything on her? Better get out of that poverty cycle first, dammit.
Anyway, a restaurant is too expensive, a hawker centre is too cheapskate, and there's the possibility of meeting the Bishan Gay in Mcdonald's so I'm giving you a real option here. If you REALLY have to have love, meet your date at RJ canteen. The yong tau foo there is quite reasonably priced, unlike the S11 faguts.
Oh and there's a Seven-Eleven coming up at RJ yay! That way you could get a SUPER BIG GULP to share with your loved one. They are cheaper when bought in HUGE QUANTITY. Even though you are supposed to save when you can, it doesn't hurt to buy more if it's value for money. No point buying a GULP and that's it, it's all over in one gulp.
And another thing: one plate of food is enough. Same goes with the drinks - you only need to order one. Then you can share it with your boyfriend/girlfriend and have a romantic lunch date. Though of course we all know it's all down to the bloody same old motive of saving money LOL. But shh, if he/she doesn't know, it only means he/she doesn't NEED to know. So there! Romantic, shared meals for the win!
4. Everything and anything else
Well I've covered the most important things in life - so the others don't really matter. When it comes down to luxury or necessity, anything that's not a necessity is obviously redundant. What you need to survive - food, transport, love (for some) has already been covered. So anything else is a luxury and you must learn how to do without it in the middle-class.
In short, everything and anything else, you can live without it. So do it.
That's most of the stuff for the middle-class. They do not necessarily represent my views or what I do in real life, but when I say "do not necessarily" I mean "it's possible". This is open to interpretation and I'm not saying that the rich are spoilt or anything. It's the fault of society and it's the fault of the way things work.
Therefore, I'd just like to say cheers and have fun leading an enriched middle-class life. Somehow you will derive joy for every cent you scrimp and save. Seriously haha.
Today we will cover survival tactics. In modern Singapore, you might think that it's redundant and trashy to learn about whatever survival crap. But you never know when it comes in handy! It is precisely in modern, cold and heartless Singapore where survival tactics are absolutely (and I say ABSOLUTELY YEA) important for one's well-being.
In the struggle for economic growth, it is inevitable that people get left behind. Yup I know I'm sounding like some Social Studies student giving bullshit (that's what I used to do anyway) - but hey if Singapore was that good you won't have aunties selling tissues at three packets for one dollar right.
They think it's romantic, the way the auntie sings her one-dollar song. But she's a nuisance and a victim of the social system. The rich only gets richer and the poor gets poorer, as other societies have proven. I don't know which one specifically, but that's quite a catchphrase so let's just apply it in Singaporean context. The rich DO get richer.
But me, I'm definitely NOT rich. Born in mediocrity, I've lived my entire life in mediocrity.. until my pocket money got cut for these holidays. Rationale given: I don't need to go to school so my upkeep is lower.
Yea right. Then Council calls us back for Orientation prep every day and I see my money diminishing like the way the fish in a fish farm disappears in a flash flood. (That's kind of a tongue twister anyway, real cool.)
In the middle-class it's make or break. You either get richer or poorer. But one tilt to the poor side, and I'm almost down the proverbial poverty cycle (you gotta thank PW for this). With less than $50 to spend a week, ALL EXPENSES INCLUDED, I started to devise some tactics for the middle-class tilting towards poverty. Very useful, or at least it kinda works for me.
1. Food
Most important. Unfortunately sometimes you can't control your hunger pangs and when you need to eat, you need to eat. For someone as great as I am, I have GREAT hunger pangs too. And the important lesson to learn here is that we, members of the middle-class, go for quantity not quality.
With $2 in hand and a dinner to go - which do you choose? A baguette, 80% of ban mian (you could try your luck with the auntie), nasi lemak from S11, or biscuits from NTUC?
The answer is very simple, but only a true middle-class citizen would get it.
You don't buy anything, but you go home and drink tap water. Or if you're afraid of drinking up red rust along with dangerous sodium- or magnesium-based chemicals, you could boil the water. No difference since it's free anyway. Water can contain your hunger for a while, and if you spam so much that you're bloated, hunger will float away from you.
If this fails, an allowance of fifty cents can be given so you can spam tau huay zui (soya bean). Make sure its hot and you take it down in one gulp. Either that or you go and sleep. Run 10km, spam water, then collapse on your bed. Absolutely economical.
2. Transport
Quite obviously I'm an advocate for healthy living, because as YL has mentioned before and as I'd like to reiterate, I'm an enemy of the public transport system. Just that running about too much has taken its toll on me and I've now damaged both knees (jacked). That's why I took the MRT yesterday.
But as much as possible, you must consider all possible transport options. Taxis are a definite no-no. Somehow supply of taxis doesn't go very well with demand and in the midst of all that supply-demand shit the price just keeps increasing. Gay. As if it wasn't bad enough that GST is going up and so are bus fares.
Solution - boycott taxis. I've lived without them for five years and I'm still surviving. If you are in a hurry and the bus/train won't get you there on time, it's where your improvisation comes in. For example, if you are stuck at RJC you could kope Elango's bike and just scoot off.
Those bloody security guards, they leave their bikes around too much anyway. If ever you have to do it one day, make sure it's Elango's bike you take. That old fagut barks far too much for my liking, and I'm not afraid to blog about it because he IS quite a fagut.
When I say "consider all options", I really mean consider all options. Say I'm at Toa Payoh Lorong 1 trying to get to Junction 8, do I take the bus, the train, or walk? With time constraint, walking isn't really possible so you'd have to accept the alternatives. However, I'd say the train would be better for such a case as they charge 40 cents as opposed to the bus's 45 cents.
(If you do this for eight days consecutively, you'd save 40 cents. Which means you can spend more on FOOD - the cheapest mineral water in NTUC (500ml) costs merely 40 cents, a bargain. The wonders of saving money, you never know. Many a mickle makes something big, I forgot the proverb but yea basically you can accumulate LOTS OF MONEY by saving small everyday.)
The economists were right. You DO consider opportunity cost everyday.
And don't listen to all that crap where time is money. Time ISN'T money. Not now anyway, so it's okay to be late if it doesn't cost you any job options. You might call it a bad attitude, but hey, for the sake of MONEY, why not!
A bad attitude does not cause you any money. Remember that. However, a bad approach to public transport does. Just remember LTB - Legs, Trains, Buses (for short distance). Taxis aren't an option. You could use interesting acronyms to help - Love The Bus, Let Them Be, yea whatever you get my point.
3. Love
Where should you bring your girlfriend for a HOT lunch date?
A restaurant? A nearby hawker centre? Mcdonald's?
If you've been paying any attention at all and absorbing what I'm saying, you'll find that the best type of girlfriend a middle-class guy could have is no girlfriend. If you want to do something you might as well do it to the best of your ability. Thus, what's the point of having a girlfriend when you can't spend anything on her? Better get out of that poverty cycle first, dammit.
Anyway, a restaurant is too expensive, a hawker centre is too cheapskate, and there's the possibility of meeting the Bishan Gay in Mcdonald's so I'm giving you a real option here. If you REALLY have to have love, meet your date at RJ canteen. The yong tau foo there is quite reasonably priced, unlike the S11 faguts.
Oh and there's a Seven-Eleven coming up at RJ yay! That way you could get a SUPER BIG GULP to share with your loved one. They are cheaper when bought in HUGE QUANTITY. Even though you are supposed to save when you can, it doesn't hurt to buy more if it's value for money. No point buying a GULP and that's it, it's all over in one gulp.
And another thing: one plate of food is enough. Same goes with the drinks - you only need to order one. Then you can share it with your boyfriend/girlfriend and have a romantic lunch date. Though of course we all know it's all down to the bloody same old motive of saving money LOL. But shh, if he/she doesn't know, it only means he/she doesn't NEED to know. So there! Romantic, shared meals for the win!
4. Everything and anything else
Well I've covered the most important things in life - so the others don't really matter. When it comes down to luxury or necessity, anything that's not a necessity is obviously redundant. What you need to survive - food, transport, love (for some) has already been covered. So anything else is a luxury and you must learn how to do without it in the middle-class.
In short, everything and anything else, you can live without it. So do it.
That's most of the stuff for the middle-class. They do not necessarily represent my views or what I do in real life, but when I say "do not necessarily" I mean "it's possible". This is open to interpretation and I'm not saying that the rich are spoilt or anything. It's the fault of society and it's the fault of the way things work.
Therefore, I'd just like to say cheers and have fun leading an enriched middle-class life. Somehow you will derive joy for every cent you scrimp and save. Seriously haha.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Nouvelles observations du MRT
Shit, I'm half-scared out of my wits. The other half of me is scared of the "A" levels coming up just soon. I can't imagine how time flies but the hols flew by me, and now I'm faced with a brand new year looking to come in just four days time.
And after being bloody curious last year wondering what J1 orientation would be like, this year it is our turn making OUR J1s curious.
That is the main reason to why I'm not blogging. But the reason why I am blogging here now is not because the work has stopped (Council work never does), but rather, as I mentioned earlier, because I'm half-scared out of my wits.
Today was the day I almost got killed. Or concussed. I could be lying down blogging from my hospital bed, but thanks to some stroke of luck, I didn't.
As usual I'm sidetracking, but here's the story.
I was walking back from the MRT, and I started thinking about my hols. Which kinda meant I was thinking of the time wasted. Whenever I reflect about such stuff, I start going into self-angst and self-bitch mode, like "why in the @#*^@% world did I do this instead of mugging Chemistry?" Which in the end is rather inconclusive.
Then, my thoughts wandered to this blog, the pride and joy of the three of us for one whole year. Its current state of neglect, and sigh..
Still, I thought that I was busy and therefore I had every right to neglect it. After all, it's not my problem if I don't update my blog (the arsehole in me has been strong these hols). It's MY blog, and I update it whenever I like.
May I remind you that with the current rainy weather now, the floor was slippery and it was at this precise moment, when I was entertaining this thought, I suddenly slipped forward. Next, the giant tree I was standing next to suddenly gave a great rumbling sound. And WTH a big branch from the giant tree just happened to uh, dislodge itself and fall onto the ground with a large thump!
RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
Wa baskit I was damn scared - and to all trees in the Toa Payoh precinct, I am now updating my blog! Please don't do that to me ever again.
------------
Today I made some revolutionary new discoveries about Singaporeans on the MRT. Gone are the days where YL stands on the train and observes the Singaporean world at his vantage point. The silly sod went to France and then Hong Kong so he's certainly not updated with the current state of affairs.
Let ME bring you the world of the MRT now.
WRT TO THE MRT (With respect to the Mass Rapid Transit, you've gotta respect them with 1 million commuters daily, or so they claim)
The Singaporeans are pretty much the same when they board the train. Everyone has every right to call us a kiasu bunch because WE are a kiasu bunch. At City Hall when the doors open it's the North-to-East commuters against the East-to-North commuters. And the shoving and all starts.
Usually I'd stand and wait, but today I was itching for some action so I ploughed right into the working-hour crowd. Some punk who obviously didn't work banged into me. Kind of a bad choice to start trouble today, I didn't know some punk would be there. My attempt at being kiasu left me being humji instead. Tsk.
Anyway right after that the whole bunch of kiasu fags (including me) got on the train, and you must be thinking they are doing this so they could secure a seat for themselves? That's what I bloody thought. Apparently there are too many civic-conscious people writing into the forums nowadays, for I could see at least three seats around the carriage unoccupied.
Like what the hell? You rush onto the train so you can pole dance while the silly train jerks back and forth? (Train drivers are lousy nowadays.)
As there were very few pregnant ladies and senior citizens around, I kinda hovered near the seats. Next stop - Dhoby Ghaut. People got off and on, but still no one sat. Certainly there were people who deserved the seat more than me, but I wasn't going to give them a chance if they really didn't want to sit.
Try taking the train at peak hour next time. Maybe you'll experience this phenomenon. I can't believe it - is it that those working class people have been sitting on their arses all day long and are so sick of being in the sitting posture that they just stand? Or are they afraid that sitting might significantly increase their chances of being too slow of getting out of the train.
Damn, I'll never know now. Perhaps in a few years time.
I just sat down and was thankful for the seat. Seems like you don't really have to rush to get a seat. You just need to get on a train full of dumbasses. Or perhaps you would call them citizens with high civic consciousness, who fear sitting down lest some guy reports them to the forums.
That's the only plausible explanation. And thus concludes my new observations on the MRT.
And after being bloody curious last year wondering what J1 orientation would be like, this year it is our turn making OUR J1s curious.
That is the main reason to why I'm not blogging. But the reason why I am blogging here now is not because the work has stopped (Council work never does), but rather, as I mentioned earlier, because I'm half-scared out of my wits.
Today was the day I almost got killed. Or concussed. I could be lying down blogging from my hospital bed, but thanks to some stroke of luck, I didn't.
As usual I'm sidetracking, but here's the story.
I was walking back from the MRT, and I started thinking about my hols. Which kinda meant I was thinking of the time wasted. Whenever I reflect about such stuff, I start going into self-angst and self-bitch mode, like "why in the @#*^@% world did I do this instead of mugging Chemistry?" Which in the end is rather inconclusive.
Then, my thoughts wandered to this blog, the pride and joy of the three of us for one whole year. Its current state of neglect, and sigh..
Still, I thought that I was busy and therefore I had every right to neglect it. After all, it's not my problem if I don't update my blog (the arsehole in me has been strong these hols). It's MY blog, and I update it whenever I like.
May I remind you that with the current rainy weather now, the floor was slippery and it was at this precise moment, when I was entertaining this thought, I suddenly slipped forward. Next, the giant tree I was standing next to suddenly gave a great rumbling sound. And WTH a big branch from the giant tree just happened to uh, dislodge itself and fall onto the ground with a large thump!
RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
Wa baskit I was damn scared - and to all trees in the Toa Payoh precinct, I am now updating my blog! Please don't do that to me ever again.
------------
Today I made some revolutionary new discoveries about Singaporeans on the MRT. Gone are the days where YL stands on the train and observes the Singaporean world at his vantage point. The silly sod went to France and then Hong Kong so he's certainly not updated with the current state of affairs.
Let ME bring you the world of the MRT now.
WRT TO THE MRT (With respect to the Mass Rapid Transit, you've gotta respect them with 1 million commuters daily, or so they claim)
The Singaporeans are pretty much the same when they board the train. Everyone has every right to call us a kiasu bunch because WE are a kiasu bunch. At City Hall when the doors open it's the North-to-East commuters against the East-to-North commuters. And the shoving and all starts.
Usually I'd stand and wait, but today I was itching for some action so I ploughed right into the working-hour crowd. Some punk who obviously didn't work banged into me. Kind of a bad choice to start trouble today, I didn't know some punk would be there. My attempt at being kiasu left me being humji instead. Tsk.
Anyway right after that the whole bunch of kiasu fags (including me) got on the train, and you must be thinking they are doing this so they could secure a seat for themselves? That's what I bloody thought. Apparently there are too many civic-conscious people writing into the forums nowadays, for I could see at least three seats around the carriage unoccupied.
Like what the hell? You rush onto the train so you can pole dance while the silly train jerks back and forth? (Train drivers are lousy nowadays.)
As there were very few pregnant ladies and senior citizens around, I kinda hovered near the seats. Next stop - Dhoby Ghaut. People got off and on, but still no one sat. Certainly there were people who deserved the seat more than me, but I wasn't going to give them a chance if they really didn't want to sit.
Try taking the train at peak hour next time. Maybe you'll experience this phenomenon. I can't believe it - is it that those working class people have been sitting on their arses all day long and are so sick of being in the sitting posture that they just stand? Or are they afraid that sitting might significantly increase their chances of being too slow of getting out of the train.
Damn, I'll never know now. Perhaps in a few years time.
I just sat down and was thankful for the seat. Seems like you don't really have to rush to get a seat. You just need to get on a train full of dumbasses. Or perhaps you would call them citizens with high civic consciousness, who fear sitting down lest some guy reports them to the forums.
That's the only plausible explanation. And thus concludes my new observations on the MRT.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
How to garner amusement
Before we start on more serious topics like the Bishan Gay, I thought I'd talk a bit of nonsense about what I did for the past few days - ie planning forfeits.
It can be quite an enjoyable process, especially if you have another kokster planning with you. Amusement is guaranteed if you know how to implement it well enough. Next time any of you need to plan forfeits for games, THIS IS DA SITE FOR YOU MAN.
Acknowledgements to my fellow forfeiter Xiong, who doesn't sound as fierce as his name. Never mind that.
POSSIBLE FORFEITS
1. Spell out your name using your arse. If your name is under 10 characters, spell (insert a name of a certain loser here, preferably a longggggg one) instead.
2. Stick a piece of masking tape onto a certain part of the body. Doesn't have to be in the arse, it could be on the belly or something. Then ask the person to SHAKE IT OFF. If you are an evil fag, you could tell him/her that using other items are NOT ALLOWED. Good luck have fun.
3. Lambada your way through and sing a song. If you don't know what a lambada is, go Wikipedia or Google it. Or just take it from me that it's a real stupid move where you shake yourself like a.. shaking chicken and move back and forth retardedly. With a partner, but as this is a forfeit the loser will have to do it alone.
Better yet, you could ask him/her to find a partner to do it with him/her. And if he/she doesn't manage to convince anyone, make him/her SING while doing the lambada. I can guarantee it's super embarrassing. Oh, and better still if it's a stupid song he/she is singing. Try Aqua, they're really dumb.
4. Make it a dare. Tell the security guard, "your cool uniform so turnsss me onnnnnnn" (unisex dare pls) or tell an obese punk in the pool that he makes you melt. Of course all these are going to make me puke but I trust that when it comes to dare many can come up with even better ideas than me.
Oh and a quote from an anonymous person - telling the security guard, "oh your tight pants makes my pants even tighter." Assuming that the guy taking the forfeit is a.. guy. And no I swear that didn't come from me.
5. Do charades, and give REALLY STUPID CHARACTERS. Examples include: George W Bush, Michael Jackson or more recently posted here - THE BISHAN GAY. Watch and squeal with delight as they try to imitate these.. fags.
6. Do a pole dance, with someone else as the pole. This is quite a favourite among most.
Yup hope this will come in useful someday - in perhaps bizarre circumstances, but every bit of information is still information. So if you need forfeits, here's the place. If you need more sadistic ones, can come look for me. Or concoct your own stuff (ie FOOD) haha, though that's pretty standard.
It can be quite an enjoyable process, especially if you have another kokster planning with you. Amusement is guaranteed if you know how to implement it well enough. Next time any of you need to plan forfeits for games, THIS IS DA SITE FOR YOU MAN.
Acknowledgements to my fellow forfeiter Xiong, who doesn't sound as fierce as his name. Never mind that.
POSSIBLE FORFEITS
1. Spell out your name using your arse. If your name is under 10 characters, spell (insert a name of a certain loser here, preferably a longggggg one) instead.
2. Stick a piece of masking tape onto a certain part of the body. Doesn't have to be in the arse, it could be on the belly or something. Then ask the person to SHAKE IT OFF. If you are an evil fag, you could tell him/her that using other items are NOT ALLOWED. Good luck have fun.
3. Lambada your way through and sing a song. If you don't know what a lambada is, go Wikipedia or Google it. Or just take it from me that it's a real stupid move where you shake yourself like a.. shaking chicken and move back and forth retardedly. With a partner, but as this is a forfeit the loser will have to do it alone.
Better yet, you could ask him/her to find a partner to do it with him/her. And if he/she doesn't manage to convince anyone, make him/her SING while doing the lambada. I can guarantee it's super embarrassing. Oh, and better still if it's a stupid song he/she is singing. Try Aqua, they're really dumb.
4. Make it a dare. Tell the security guard, "your cool uniform so turnsss me onnnnnnn" (unisex dare pls) or tell an obese punk in the pool that he makes you melt. Of course all these are going to make me puke but I trust that when it comes to dare many can come up with even better ideas than me.
Oh and a quote from an anonymous person - telling the security guard, "oh your tight pants makes my pants even tighter." Assuming that the guy taking the forfeit is a.. guy. And no I swear that didn't come from me.
5. Do charades, and give REALLY STUPID CHARACTERS. Examples include: George W Bush, Michael Jackson or more recently posted here - THE BISHAN GAY. Watch and squeal with delight as they try to imitate these.. fags.
6. Do a pole dance, with someone else as the pole. This is quite a favourite among most.
Yup hope this will come in useful someday - in perhaps bizarre circumstances, but every bit of information is still information. So if you need forfeits, here's the place. If you need more sadistic ones, can come look for me. Or concoct your own stuff (ie FOOD) haha, though that's pretty standard.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
What of the Bishan Gay
Intellectual debate: Where in the world is the Bishan Gay?
Background Info:
From RI days, the Bishan Gay has been known to hang around Macs and KFC in Junction 8, staring at little boys for.. unknown reasons. However, word soon got round that he was a paedophile and was hence doing it for paedophilic purposes. Bolder students have sat down to have a meal with him, while the rest just shy away from his gaze.
My personal encounter with him included taking the 88 back with him while he looked, make that STARED at me on top of his papers. I 毛骨悚然ed for the whole journey and ended up trembling on my way back. He followed me for a bit, but I outran him at the traffic light. (No joke, true story okay.) I soon got my back by rapping sharply on the glass while he sat down at Macs, and then running away before he could turn around.
Now there were two things I wanted to say to him in these instances.
1) Your glasses are bloody ugly.
2) You make me puke.
Other RI boys (at that time) also speculated that he ran some child abuse brothel. One of them, now in RJC along with the rest of the crowd, a real daredevil better known as Keefe Tan, tried asking Mr. Bishan Gay what the time was.
His reply (in Chinese): Little boy (chillingly), you have a watch, so why are you asking me?
Note: Daredevil doesn't mean you're smart.
In any case, I could recount countless experiences with the Bishan Gay. But in short, he's a creepy fag known to be the reincarnate of Michael Jackson's ancestors.
And now he's just disappeared. The next few times, we will try to solve the mystery of the Bishan Gay. Where in the world has he gone?
(Note: He doesn't really stare at St Nicks girls, for some reason. Even though both co-exist in the J8 Macs, this eccentric bugger will still stare at the white shorts. I'm pretty sure that given a choice, any normal grown up man would look at St Nicks girls. RI guys prefer to look at their homework.)
Background Info:
From RI days, the Bishan Gay has been known to hang around Macs and KFC in Junction 8, staring at little boys for.. unknown reasons. However, word soon got round that he was a paedophile and was hence doing it for paedophilic purposes. Bolder students have sat down to have a meal with him, while the rest just shy away from his gaze.
My personal encounter with him included taking the 88 back with him while he looked, make that STARED at me on top of his papers. I 毛骨悚然ed for the whole journey and ended up trembling on my way back. He followed me for a bit, but I outran him at the traffic light. (No joke, true story okay.) I soon got my back by rapping sharply on the glass while he sat down at Macs, and then running away before he could turn around.
Now there were two things I wanted to say to him in these instances.
1) Your glasses are bloody ugly.
2) You make me puke.
Other RI boys (at that time) also speculated that he ran some child abuse brothel. One of them, now in RJC along with the rest of the crowd, a real daredevil better known as Keefe Tan, tried asking Mr. Bishan Gay what the time was.
His reply (in Chinese): Little boy (chillingly), you have a watch, so why are you asking me?
Note: Daredevil doesn't mean you're smart.
In any case, I could recount countless experiences with the Bishan Gay. But in short, he's a creepy fag known to be the reincarnate of Michael Jackson's ancestors.
And now he's just disappeared. The next few times, we will try to solve the mystery of the Bishan Gay. Where in the world has he gone?
(Note: He doesn't really stare at St Nicks girls, for some reason. Even though both co-exist in the J8 Macs, this eccentric bugger will still stare at the white shorts. I'm pretty sure that given a choice, any normal grown up man would look at St Nicks girls. RI guys prefer to look at their homework.)
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Naughty TNP journalist
Guess what I saw today! Sports page, larger than life.
And sorry for the slow influx of posts (actually none at all).. it so happens that this holiday I'm having is not really a holiday after all.
Still, here's wishing that you haven't read the article so that this is something new and exciting for you. And oh, have a great holiday and I hope I'll be back posting soon =)
And sorry for the slow influx of posts (actually none at all).. it so happens that this holiday I'm having is not really a holiday after all.
Still, here's wishing that you haven't read the article so that this is something new and exciting for you. And oh, have a great holiday and I hope I'll be back posting soon =)
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Life and a link
Here's one last post before i leave for France.
So let's contemplate life! What is this mysterious thing that we all have in common. And the easiest way to do that is to make an analogy.
Life is like _______. fill in the blank
for example, if you're depressed, then life can be like a vacuum cleaner. It sucks. That's a pretty objective analogy because all vacuum cleaners suck.
Now i prefer something like life is like shit.
Because on certain days, i can say, life is like shit, it's hard.
Or when i have constipation, i say life is like shit, i have none.
life is like shit, it stinks.
Life is a bed of roses. but roses have thorns right, so life is like a bed of thorns.
That's quite depressing and life isn't always like that.
Life is like a bright and sunny day. It's umm... bright and sunny!
the cliché life is like a rainbow, it's colourful.
OR life is like me, it's perfect!
Anyway, i came across this blog that sells t-shirts. The designs quite funny. just nice talk about the gst increase like yj did. http://suchvividjustice.blogspot.com/
Check it out. i probably won't be able to update for some time. Here's a happy holidays to y'all!
So let's contemplate life! What is this mysterious thing that we all have in common. And the easiest way to do that is to make an analogy.
Life is like _______. fill in the blank
for example, if you're depressed, then life can be like a vacuum cleaner. It sucks. That's a pretty objective analogy because all vacuum cleaners suck.
Now i prefer something like life is like shit.
Because on certain days, i can say, life is like shit, it's hard.
Or when i have constipation, i say life is like shit, i have none.
life is like shit, it stinks.
Life is a bed of roses. but roses have thorns right, so life is like a bed of thorns.
That's quite depressing and life isn't always like that.
Life is like a bright and sunny day. It's umm... bright and sunny!
the cliché life is like a rainbow, it's colourful.
OR life is like me, it's perfect!
Anyway, i came across this blog that sells t-shirts. The designs quite funny. just nice talk about the gst increase like yj did. http://suchvividjustice.blogspot.com/
Check it out. i probably won't be able to update for some time. Here's a happy holidays to y'all!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Quotable quotes
GST hike from 5% to 7% today (wtf):
I would like to bring to your attention..
PM Lee's response in TODAY: "I think if it doesn't get worse from what it is now, we will be doing very, very well."
I think if it gets worse from what it is now (which is even MORE probable), we won't be doing anything at all but bitching and complaining and soon ST will be 200 paegs long with the Forum taking up most pages. Hmm.
Anyway reading Yahoo! Answers (coincidentally), there were interesting responses:
Is it wrong or awkward if a girl asks a guy out?
Response: on the contrary I find it quite attractive, plus if you don't ask him out maybe he'll never ask you out or it will take a long time
Attractive is not the opposite of wrong or awkward, in case you didn't know. They asked if it was wrong. I realise a lot of people are super good at avoiding questions - though naturally I see through them all.
Response: It is not wrong for a girl to ask a guy out. We no longer live in the 1800s.Some gals might feel awkward, but only because they are not fully liberated from the old way of thinking.
That's assuming that in the 1800s it was wrong, and I don't believe he's 200 years old - and therefore his logic is seriously flawed.
Response: No! Girls asking a guy out isn't wrong! It's just that most girls think it's supposed to be the guy that asks the girl. Just because you think it's wrong to ask a guy out, doesn't mean it's true. I say go for it!
So defensive and fiery. Zomg and that came from a girl - now hmm do I suspect something? Yes I do.
Response: it's neither wrong nor awkward if a girl asks a guy out because it is being straightforward about your feelings rather than beat around the bush abt the matter and wait for unknown results thus causing more anxieties..It seems that more guys nowadays are more shy as they fear rejection..And it's up to the girls to carve out their own path to happiness 'cause afterall, we girls have the unique sixth sense of knowing who likes us and such..(^o^)
Seems like this person knows no punctuation. And seems like you have to know if the person likes you before you can ask the person out? I don't think that makes sense. Like that how to see others get jacked?!
Response: It depends on the way you ask. Do you guys regularly converse / hangout together? Or is he a stranger you'd like to meet? both require a different approach. Good luck!
Sigh, only one guy truly has a bit of intelligence and good advice to say. Like whenever the teacher asks for my opinion in French class, I go "ça dépend" - meaning "it depends". It's true, everything has it's good side and a bad side.
Pity, I'll be away for the next few days, so I won't be here to share my insights with you. In the meantime, do try to enjoy YL's great advice before he too goes away. Looks like TCS is going on a pilgrimage and to real summits, but not to worry - we'll always be back.
(Unless the world ends tomorrow, then you wouldn't be back either to read this. But no I don't think it will.)
I would like to bring to your attention..
PM Lee's response in TODAY: "I think if it doesn't get worse from what it is now, we will be doing very, very well."
I think if it gets worse from what it is now (which is even MORE probable), we won't be doing anything at all but bitching and complaining and soon ST will be 200 paegs long with the Forum taking up most pages. Hmm.
Anyway reading Yahoo! Answers (coincidentally), there were interesting responses:
Is it wrong or awkward if a girl asks a guy out?
Response: on the contrary I find it quite attractive, plus if you don't ask him out maybe he'll never ask you out or it will take a long time
Attractive is not the opposite of wrong or awkward, in case you didn't know. They asked if it was wrong. I realise a lot of people are super good at avoiding questions - though naturally I see through them all.
Response: It is not wrong for a girl to ask a guy out. We no longer live in the 1800s.Some gals might feel awkward, but only because they are not fully liberated from the old way of thinking.
That's assuming that in the 1800s it was wrong, and I don't believe he's 200 years old - and therefore his logic is seriously flawed.
Response: No! Girls asking a guy out isn't wrong! It's just that most girls think it's supposed to be the guy that asks the girl. Just because you think it's wrong to ask a guy out, doesn't mean it's true. I say go for it!
So defensive and fiery. Zomg and that came from a girl - now hmm do I suspect something? Yes I do.
Response: it's neither wrong nor awkward if a girl asks a guy out because it is being straightforward about your feelings rather than beat around the bush abt the matter and wait for unknown results thus causing more anxieties..It seems that more guys nowadays are more shy as they fear rejection..And it's up to the girls to carve out their own path to happiness 'cause afterall, we girls have the unique sixth sense of knowing who likes us and such..(^o^)
Seems like this person knows no punctuation. And seems like you have to know if the person likes you before you can ask the person out? I don't think that makes sense. Like that how to see others get jacked?!
Response: It depends on the way you ask. Do you guys regularly converse / hangout together? Or is he a stranger you'd like to meet? both require a different approach. Good luck!
Sigh, only one guy truly has a bit of intelligence and good advice to say. Like whenever the teacher asks for my opinion in French class, I go "ça dépend" - meaning "it depends". It's true, everything has it's good side and a bad side.
Pity, I'll be away for the next few days, so I won't be here to share my insights with you. In the meantime, do try to enjoy YL's great advice before he too goes away. Looks like TCS is going on a pilgrimage and to real summits, but not to worry - we'll always be back.
(Unless the world ends tomorrow, then you wouldn't be back either to read this. But no I don't think it will.)
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Idiots on the bus
I figured since I take the bus more often than I do on the train, I will blog about the bus.
There are basically three types of idiots on the bus..
1) The bus driver
Personally, I don't have much experience with this brand of idiots because they are the sort that completely ignores you. Like how you can run after the bus and flag it but the bastard just drives on. Your angst is kept strictly to the bus stop and you are late thanks to this sort of idiots. But you can't do anything about it. These idiots are best left alone, because you can't do anything anyway. Just hope that he crashes into a traffic light or something. Cursing is highly recommended as the only solution.
2) The stinkers
As the name suggests, they stink like hell and what are they doing on the bus? Stinking it. I admit I am guilty of this once in a while, but then again I never said I wasn't an idiot.
3) The loudhailers
Yet again you can 顾名思义, guess the meaning from the name. Given my mellow and reflective nature, all I ask of sitting on a bus is some peace and quiet so I can do a reflection of my fun and fulfilling life. Suddenly, some punk behind me goes rattling about nether regions in violent dialects - and oops it turns out he's talking about his parents.
Before you can reflect on how shitty youths are nowadays (except me, of course) - they start blabbering about that "knn teacher" and all that. You can't imagine how it's like, unless you've experienced it. Okay that's pretty obvious but ya, loudhailers should be shut up. The cure to this is simple: mp3 or iPod. Then just blast techno or any other shit, it might beat hearing Ah Beng raps from the back. Or if you do want to hear them, at least hear the professional one from the movie "15". I've got them in my mp3.
AND BONUS. The silent retard!
I guess I never really thought about this as this kind of idiots don't bug me much. So I guess you have 3 and a half types of idiots on the bus - same as the number of inches there are on a floppy disk (now virtually - no pun intended - extinct).
These idiots are just idiots by nature, going around doing stupid things, perhaps vandalising buses or reading children's books when they are teenagers and stuff. Disclaimer: I might read Enid Blyton but I'm studying her Literature so I'm excused. Yup and these people don't bother you but they might be classified as idiots anyway and uh so there.
Next time you hop on a bus, look around you more carefully. Perhaps you'll make the same observations as I do. Unless you're one of the idiots yourself. Idiots can't admit they make mistakes.
There are basically three types of idiots on the bus..
1) The bus driver
Personally, I don't have much experience with this brand of idiots because they are the sort that completely ignores you. Like how you can run after the bus and flag it but the bastard just drives on. Your angst is kept strictly to the bus stop and you are late thanks to this sort of idiots. But you can't do anything about it. These idiots are best left alone, because you can't do anything anyway. Just hope that he crashes into a traffic light or something. Cursing is highly recommended as the only solution.
2) The stinkers
As the name suggests, they stink like hell and what are they doing on the bus? Stinking it. I admit I am guilty of this once in a while, but then again I never said I wasn't an idiot.
3) The loudhailers
Yet again you can 顾名思义, guess the meaning from the name. Given my mellow and reflective nature, all I ask of sitting on a bus is some peace and quiet so I can do a reflection of my fun and fulfilling life. Suddenly, some punk behind me goes rattling about nether regions in violent dialects - and oops it turns out he's talking about his parents.
Before you can reflect on how shitty youths are nowadays (except me, of course) - they start blabbering about that "knn teacher" and all that. You can't imagine how it's like, unless you've experienced it. Okay that's pretty obvious but ya, loudhailers should be shut up. The cure to this is simple: mp3 or iPod. Then just blast techno or any other shit, it might beat hearing Ah Beng raps from the back. Or if you do want to hear them, at least hear the professional one from the movie "15". I've got them in my mp3.
AND BONUS. The silent retard!
I guess I never really thought about this as this kind of idiots don't bug me much. So I guess you have 3 and a half types of idiots on the bus - same as the number of inches there are on a floppy disk (now virtually - no pun intended - extinct).
These idiots are just idiots by nature, going around doing stupid things, perhaps vandalising buses or reading children's books when they are teenagers and stuff. Disclaimer: I might read Enid Blyton but I'm studying her Literature so I'm excused. Yup and these people don't bother you but they might be classified as idiots anyway and uh so there.
Next time you hop on a bus, look around you more carefully. Perhaps you'll make the same observations as I do. Unless you're one of the idiots yourself. Idiots can't admit they make mistakes.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Idiots on the Train
Right after the movie Snakes On A Plane comes Idiots On The Train. The variety of idiots on the train is simply mind-boggling. The bad thing about this is, well, they're idiots. That's not exactly my problem. But being idiots, they do some things that annoy me, and perhaps that's the bad thing. The good thing is that it gives me inspiration for this post, and gives me something to do on boring train rides. Like a naturalist studying animals under the microscope, i meticulously note everything down. And then i categorise them.
Rocker
This person is a rather mild form of idiot because it is quite amusing to watch him. With headphones or earphones on, this person would start rocking along with the music to the amusement of all the other passengers. Maybe he just likes the attention his idiocy brings. Or maybe he's really 'in da zone' if you get what i mean. Too engrossed by the music to care about what other people think. In other words, music is his life and soul, and that gives him the rebel attitude to heck all the other people. Rebel. Actually, I don't find anything wrong with that. But he's like, wasting energy. Energy costs a hell lot of money these days. This energy can be used for other purposes such as producing light instead, and if all the rockers did that, then the world wouldn't have an energy crisis.
The music player
There are 2 varieties of this type of people. One uses earphones and blast it so loud that everyone around can hear the song. I assume the person is deaf or something. Or the ears are fake. But this type doesn't seem so bad. At least they try to keep it private. It's not their fault their ears don't work well.
The other type are worse. They play the music on their handphones out loud, as if trying to prove to the world they have a phone with that capability. Bloody show-offs
The hairy monster
If your legs are like those below, then...
wear long pants for god's sake. Or don't sit down. Or if you do, then don't spread your legs wide and act as if everyone likes the touch of leg hair on skin. Because it's fucking irritating. My wish is to bring along a lighter on the train and set your whole freaking forest on fire just like the indons are doing to theirs. We would have haze but i don't care.
The pole dancer
Now imagine yourself on a crowded train. You're looking for the metal beam to hold on to in case someone jumps onto the mrt tracks again and the train brakes suddenly. The vertical metal is right in front of you. Unfortunately, the pole dancer is leaning on the beam, such that you can't hold on without him leaning on your hand, which he eerily doesn't seem to mind. You might think pole dancers usually have ultra sexy and svelte bodies, but this one certainly doesn't. You can see the fats on his back squeezing against the pole, and yucks, i'd rather fall down than get a handful of animal fat.
The blocker
This person has no sense of space. He thinks he deserves lots of it even though he paid the same fares. Acts blur when the announcement for people to move to the centre of the train comes. Nothing funny to say about them because they're just idiots
The high-metabolic rate type
Ah this is the interesting one. At first glance, you wouldn't be able to spot him. But look again. There, there's that movement. May be the twitch of the lips, or the hands that cannot stop touching himself, but there's no end to his movement. I've seen one who can't stop twitching his mouth. Seems irritating at first, but after a while it's amusing. After all, the idiot probably has no idea how weird he looks in front of other people with all those funny actions. Therefore i conclude he probably has a high metabolic rate and has to keep moving. Look out for these people. They're everywhere if you look close enough.
So that's the end of the idiots on the train, hope you had a nice ride.
Rocker
This person is a rather mild form of idiot because it is quite amusing to watch him. With headphones or earphones on, this person would start rocking along with the music to the amusement of all the other passengers. Maybe he just likes the attention his idiocy brings. Or maybe he's really 'in da zone' if you get what i mean. Too engrossed by the music to care about what other people think. In other words, music is his life and soul, and that gives him the rebel attitude to heck all the other people. Rebel. Actually, I don't find anything wrong with that. But he's like, wasting energy. Energy costs a hell lot of money these days. This energy can be used for other purposes such as producing light instead, and if all the rockers did that, then the world wouldn't have an energy crisis.
The music player
There are 2 varieties of this type of people. One uses earphones and blast it so loud that everyone around can hear the song. I assume the person is deaf or something. Or the ears are fake. But this type doesn't seem so bad. At least they try to keep it private. It's not their fault their ears don't work well.
The other type are worse. They play the music on their handphones out loud, as if trying to prove to the world they have a phone with that capability. Bloody show-offs
The hairy monster
If your legs are like those below, then...
wear long pants for god's sake. Or don't sit down. Or if you do, then don't spread your legs wide and act as if everyone likes the touch of leg hair on skin. Because it's fucking irritating. My wish is to bring along a lighter on the train and set your whole freaking forest on fire just like the indons are doing to theirs. We would have haze but i don't care.
The pole dancer
Now imagine yourself on a crowded train. You're looking for the metal beam to hold on to in case someone jumps onto the mrt tracks again and the train brakes suddenly. The vertical metal is right in front of you. Unfortunately, the pole dancer is leaning on the beam, such that you can't hold on without him leaning on your hand, which he eerily doesn't seem to mind. You might think pole dancers usually have ultra sexy and svelte bodies, but this one certainly doesn't. You can see the fats on his back squeezing against the pole, and yucks, i'd rather fall down than get a handful of animal fat.
The blocker
This person has no sense of space. He thinks he deserves lots of it even though he paid the same fares. Acts blur when the announcement for people to move to the centre of the train comes. Nothing funny to say about them because they're just idiots
The high-metabolic rate type
Ah this is the interesting one. At first glance, you wouldn't be able to spot him. But look again. There, there's that movement. May be the twitch of the lips, or the hands that cannot stop touching himself, but there's no end to his movement. I've seen one who can't stop twitching his mouth. Seems irritating at first, but after a while it's amusing. After all, the idiot probably has no idea how weird he looks in front of other people with all those funny actions. Therefore i conclude he probably has a high metabolic rate and has to keep moving. Look out for these people. They're everywhere if you look close enough.
So that's the end of the idiots on the train, hope you had a nice ride.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Interesting random facts
Reported in the ST today:
The title of the article is "Flushing with patriotism". Artists charged in court because one of their exhibits in the museum is a toilet bowl that flushes to the tune to the Italian national anthem, Fratelli d'Italia.
And apparently it shows disrespect to Italy as the anthem is a national symbol?
Prosecution: The national anthem is a national symbol, so artists should be charged.
Defence: The national anthem isn't a national symbol, so they are not guilty.
Either way, I don't see what's wrong with it. Look, especially since the Italian national anthem has special significance, playing it along with the flush also symbolises good things. Like how the Italian government have been flushing out the shit and scum of the country, cleansing the lands.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE ITALIANS, MAN. Can they not take good artworks? After all, art is art and you can't prosecute someone in the name of art. I've learnt the power of art in a recent visit to Singapore Biennale with YL - you can make someone stare at nonsense for very long and piss him off but they can't complain anything about it..
..because it's art. If you don't like it, means you can't appreciate art and it means you're just a bloody caveman.
Sigh, such is the power of art that sometimes I pretend I appreciate it in order not to look like a n00b barbarian. Though when I can't take it, I exclaim "what the **** is this ****" right there, right then.
Art is subjective. I can't lie all the time.
So the Italians should learn to appreciate some art. Even if it's a flushing toilet bowl, there can be beauty in it. Like the way my stupid toilet flush jammed the other day and caused a flood on the floor. It was a pretty cool picture only the clean-up was bloody irritating and the stench was bad.
But in artistic terms, the picture of the flooded toilet could have well been a jewel. And so there.
Next article that was reported:
In New York, you now don't need to go for sex change surgically to change your gender in birth cert.
That is SUPER retarded. This means I can declare whatever gender I want to be. Like, "hi I decided to be a girl today, change it on my birth cert please." I didn't read the whole article because it kind of grossed me out. But you get the idea, there's something wrong with these Americans.
What is wrong with the world nowadays. You're not supposed to anyhow change your gender.
But thinking about it.. it might be a good thing. That might reduce the number of surgeries involving sex change and perhaps that's what the American government are trying to get at?
Forget it, I didn't read the article carefully so I'm not qualified to give commentary.
Now, for the last random fact of the day:
PW is over, YAYYYYYYY!
As I have the dubious honour of taking the first slot of the last day of Oral Presentations, I can now safely say by this time (1am) everyone's done with PW. Though there's still some stupid Reflections stuff to be done, can't stand it.
And any J1 across the island will testify that PW is a veritable waste of time. Any J1 from any JC will have had the experience of getting pwned by PW. Oh did you see that.
PWNED BY PW. O! M! G!
I think I definitely screwed up my PW today, but it's something to be happy about. As PW is already screwed up enough, you respond to this screwed-upness by screwing it up yourself. Not a very good logic, but basically - an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Although so many people said that they won't be missing PW (and I guess they mean it).. I feel that there are things to know about PW. Perhaps it isn't as bad as you think, it inculcates more values than you think it does. Quite obviously we won't miss it - I chucked my script into the bin right after OP.
Here's, however, a few lessons PW teaches:
1) The art of bitching. How you whine through every lesson, the Preliminary Idea, Evaluation of Material, and all that extra shit etc. Yup all those not in J1 yet, you haven't experienced project hell. Try doing all this crap plus Oral Presentation.. with a totally random group. I'm not complaining about my group, but not everyone has my luck. Those who have gone through it, you will appreciate the art of bitching. And you'd sympathise.
2) Endurance and determination. All that bloody rehearsals and late nights doing shit. Like how I'm supposed to do Insights and Reflections but frankly I don't give a shit. Which is why I'm blogging. It gives me stamina to last through the night.
3) Importance of makeup/stimulants. Particularly for the gals getting panda eyes and eye rings. For the guys they learn to appreciate their coffee/Milo more.
4) Group dynamics. Not in the way the PW teachers wanted it, but adversely. Like because everyone hates PW and so there's a common thing to hate. In all that grumbling together, you form greater bonds with your PW group - and in the end your class also gets more bonded when they start to ponder if they should pon PW class. That's how things work yay.
Now I really should get back to I&R. Hope you liked this post of randomness =)
The title of the article is "Flushing with patriotism". Artists charged in court because one of their exhibits in the museum is a toilet bowl that flushes to the tune to the Italian national anthem, Fratelli d'Italia.
And apparently it shows disrespect to Italy as the anthem is a national symbol?
Prosecution: The national anthem is a national symbol, so artists should be charged.
Defence: The national anthem isn't a national symbol, so they are not guilty.
Either way, I don't see what's wrong with it. Look, especially since the Italian national anthem has special significance, playing it along with the flush also symbolises good things. Like how the Italian government have been flushing out the shit and scum of the country, cleansing the lands.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE ITALIANS, MAN. Can they not take good artworks? After all, art is art and you can't prosecute someone in the name of art. I've learnt the power of art in a recent visit to Singapore Biennale with YL - you can make someone stare at nonsense for very long and piss him off but they can't complain anything about it..
..because it's art. If you don't like it, means you can't appreciate art and it means you're just a bloody caveman.
Sigh, such is the power of art that sometimes I pretend I appreciate it in order not to look like a n00b barbarian. Though when I can't take it, I exclaim "what the **** is this ****" right there, right then.
Art is subjective. I can't lie all the time.
So the Italians should learn to appreciate some art. Even if it's a flushing toilet bowl, there can be beauty in it. Like the way my stupid toilet flush jammed the other day and caused a flood on the floor. It was a pretty cool picture only the clean-up was bloody irritating and the stench was bad.
But in artistic terms, the picture of the flooded toilet could have well been a jewel. And so there.
Next article that was reported:
In New York, you now don't need to go for sex change surgically to change your gender in birth cert.
That is SUPER retarded. This means I can declare whatever gender I want to be. Like, "hi I decided to be a girl today, change it on my birth cert please." I didn't read the whole article because it kind of grossed me out. But you get the idea, there's something wrong with these Americans.
What is wrong with the world nowadays. You're not supposed to anyhow change your gender.
But thinking about it.. it might be a good thing. That might reduce the number of surgeries involving sex change and perhaps that's what the American government are trying to get at?
Forget it, I didn't read the article carefully so I'm not qualified to give commentary.
Now, for the last random fact of the day:
PW is over, YAYYYYYYY!
As I have the dubious honour of taking the first slot of the last day of Oral Presentations, I can now safely say by this time (1am) everyone's done with PW. Though there's still some stupid Reflections stuff to be done, can't stand it.
And any J1 across the island will testify that PW is a veritable waste of time. Any J1 from any JC will have had the experience of getting pwned by PW. Oh did you see that.
PWNED BY PW. O! M! G!
I think I definitely screwed up my PW today, but it's something to be happy about. As PW is already screwed up enough, you respond to this screwed-upness by screwing it up yourself. Not a very good logic, but basically - an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Although so many people said that they won't be missing PW (and I guess they mean it).. I feel that there are things to know about PW. Perhaps it isn't as bad as you think, it inculcates more values than you think it does. Quite obviously we won't miss it - I chucked my script into the bin right after OP.
Here's, however, a few lessons PW teaches:
1) The art of bitching. How you whine through every lesson, the Preliminary Idea, Evaluation of Material, and all that extra shit etc. Yup all those not in J1 yet, you haven't experienced project hell. Try doing all this crap plus Oral Presentation.. with a totally random group. I'm not complaining about my group, but not everyone has my luck. Those who have gone through it, you will appreciate the art of bitching. And you'd sympathise.
2) Endurance and determination. All that bloody rehearsals and late nights doing shit. Like how I'm supposed to do Insights and Reflections but frankly I don't give a shit. Which is why I'm blogging. It gives me stamina to last through the night.
3) Importance of makeup/stimulants. Particularly for the gals getting panda eyes and eye rings. For the guys they learn to appreciate their coffee/Milo more.
4) Group dynamics. Not in the way the PW teachers wanted it, but adversely. Like because everyone hates PW and so there's a common thing to hate. In all that grumbling together, you form greater bonds with your PW group - and in the end your class also gets more bonded when they start to ponder if they should pon PW class. That's how things work yay.
Now I really should get back to I&R. Hope you liked this post of randomness =)
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Don't wanna donate
This is a short guide on how to tell people that you don't want to donate.
Note that a while back I talked about New Age Robbers, the sort that bugs you to donate. Now they infiltrate S11 such that you can't even eat in peace. Since WE want to eat in peace, we should not give to others what we do not want others to do to us. (己所不欲，勿施于人 - the Chinese say）
(Shit, my Chinese teacher would be so darn proud of me.)
Thus, instead of designing very direct-insult IN YOUR FACE t-shirt designs (like in the past), I've come up with a more peaceful solution this time. All in the name of peace.
This is what you do.
Hi. I'm (so-and-so) from (so-and-so) charity, would you like to donate?
Yes I would.
(slight pause)
..but a pity, I don't think I've enough money with me at the moment.
Your $10 can go a long way..
I could cab from Bishan to around Bedok, yes.
I have a licence, there can you see it?
Yes of course I can, but that doesn't make me any richer.
(If the guy's a persistent bugger, then perhaps you can apply a bit of aggression. Not too much, mind - just enough to stir him up a bit and hopefully make him go away.)
Won't you just donate $2, if you don't have $10? Each of you and your friends just chip in $2, together you can buy one ticket, $10 just nice. It's for charity.. etc. (obscure name comes up)
I'm not going to put $1 commission in your pocket. You're bloody getting 10% commission, do you think I don't know?
Of course that would make you sound and look like a bastard..
But hey wait, who said you are obliged to donate in the first place? They are appealing to your conscience that you should be a good citizen and donate, but the truth is sometimes these youths pocket some commission, the charity organisation pockets some money to cover losses, and only a tiny bit of that $10 goes to the poor people they claim they are helping.
Heck, I'd rather go give the money to them direct.
I'm not saying that donating to charity organisations is bad, but respectable charity organisations won't bug you when you're having a meal. So there.
Thus don't worry - you won't be a bastard by refusing those New Age Robbers your extra cash. They're playing mind games with you, you are a good guy if I say so. Next time you don't want to donate, stand your ground, then sit down and continue eating your food.
But of course, while settling everything peacefully =) even if you don't donate there's no need to start a fight. Unless they do so, but that's another story I shall reserve for another time.
Note that a while back I talked about New Age Robbers, the sort that bugs you to donate. Now they infiltrate S11 such that you can't even eat in peace. Since WE want to eat in peace, we should not give to others what we do not want others to do to us. (己所不欲，勿施于人 - the Chinese say）
(Shit, my Chinese teacher would be so darn proud of me.)
Thus, instead of designing very direct-insult IN YOUR FACE t-shirt designs (like in the past), I've come up with a more peaceful solution this time. All in the name of peace.
This is what you do.
Hi. I'm (so-and-so) from (so-and-so) charity, would you like to donate?
Yes I would.
(slight pause)
..but a pity, I don't think I've enough money with me at the moment.
Your $10 can go a long way..
I could cab from Bishan to around Bedok, yes.
I have a licence, there can you see it?
Yes of course I can, but that doesn't make me any richer.
(If the guy's a persistent bugger, then perhaps you can apply a bit of aggression. Not too much, mind - just enough to stir him up a bit and hopefully make him go away.)
Won't you just donate $2, if you don't have $10? Each of you and your friends just chip in $2, together you can buy one ticket, $10 just nice. It's for charity.. etc. (obscure name comes up)
I'm not going to put $1 commission in your pocket. You're bloody getting 10% commission, do you think I don't know?
Of course that would make you sound and look like a bastard..
But hey wait, who said you are obliged to donate in the first place? They are appealing to your conscience that you should be a good citizen and donate, but the truth is sometimes these youths pocket some commission, the charity organisation pockets some money to cover losses, and only a tiny bit of that $10 goes to the poor people they claim they are helping.
Heck, I'd rather go give the money to them direct.
I'm not saying that donating to charity organisations is bad, but respectable charity organisations won't bug you when you're having a meal. So there.
Thus don't worry - you won't be a bastard by refusing those New Age Robbers your extra cash. They're playing mind games with you, you are a good guy if I say so. Next time you don't want to donate, stand your ground, then sit down and continue eating your food.
But of course, while settling everything peacefully =) even if you don't donate there's no need to start a fight. Unless they do so, but that's another story I shall reserve for another time.
Monday, November 06, 2006
We Hammered their Ars
This is funny. Or at least it is to a West Ham fan like me.
I don't know what the rest of the world thinks. In particular, Arsenal fans.
But hey, I did nothing to engineer the West Ham win so don't stone me okay? I had totally nothing to do with the West Ham victory, though if you'd like to credit me for being their fan, I will gladly accept it. The funny part is the post-match conference with Alan Pardew, West Ham manager.
You can find it at http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/sport/default.stm. It's right there and if you're not reading this too late on Monday, it should be under one of the headlines. Not my fault if you don't read this blog regularly and come crying that the video's gone. It's seriously amusing.
Anyway, to quote some bits from dear Mister Pardew:
(in the post-match interview)
Q: (unclear British mutterings).. Alexander Hleb, was a penalty. What did you think?
A: Well, Arsene Wenger certainly thought it was a penalty, and that frustrated him. I could see it was from behind, the challenge, but I think he got a little bit of the ball. (...) I think we'd know if it was a penalty. But the reaction of our players, they reacted in a way that it wasn't, so I went along with that reaction (shrugs).. and played on.
Comment: LIKE DUH WENGER WOULD BE FRUSTRATED? I don't know what's wrong with Pardew, it was a penalty and he's got to admit it. After all, it doesn't matter at this stage. Three points will still be three points even though he says it's a penalty now. Why not rub salt into the Gunners' wound? These Englishmen, they know pride, they know beating around the bush, they know saying politically correct answers and they know it's a penalty, that.
Q: It was an emotional game, Alan. (more British mutterings).. tell me about the situation. (between Pardew and Wenger)
A: With me and Arsene?
Comment: No, no, with you and Pope Benedict the XVI.
Q: Yea. (that wasn't really a question)
A: ..celebration, but you know it's been a frustrating season. A last-minute goal, desperate to win. And you know, I have absolute (dunno what) respect for Arsene Wenger.. and I shall try to talk to him when he's calmed down. (...) if I was him, and see if I can sort that out with him, because that situation, it wasn't right for the game. And on my part, I do apologise for being overzealous, but uh, I hope that won't get the headlines for what was a players' day. West Ham players. They were brilliant. Great win for us today.
Comment: Seems like Mister Pardew is great at dodging the topic - what happened between you and Wenger? Oh I will talk to him. Oh it's bad for the game. West Ham was brilliant. No doubt he's speaking the truth, West Ham is always brilliant, but WHY NO DETAILS? Anyway Wenger shoved him first so giving a true account won't hurt him one bit.
And another thing. He shouldn't have compromised about the celebrations. Nothing wrong with being happy, innit? I can't understand the French, I thought they liked to be happy with their slack lifestyle but here Wenger aka the French Professor gets so pissed off when Pardew is happy? He should just celebrate with Pardew YAY YOU'VE GOT THE WIN, SECOND ONE IN THE ROW. Then the game at Upton Park would end with a happy ending. But did Wenger? No. Silly old French tortoise.
Anyway seems like Pardew wants to make Wenger seem like the villain (which he is). Cunning old fox. That's all right for him to say, he didn't lose the game. (as you'll see what I mean later)
Q: ..the situation, you did offer your hand (to Wenger) at the end of the game. (not really a question either)
A: I did, and uh, y'know, last-minute goals. They're horrible for managers. And uh, y'know, I've got no problems with Arsene. At the end of the game, I hope we're all calm and I hope he'll be sensible about it.
Comment: True colours, it seems, at last. Last-minute goals don't seem at all horrible for him today, so his point about those goals are not valid. Sure he has no problems with Arsene, not when he's won 1-0. And like duh that's why he's offering a handshake. Arsene the villain. He ends off by saying "I hope we're all calm" because it's bloody obvious Wenger's definitely hell not and "he'll be sensible" finally shows Pardew's contempt for Wenger behaving like a small kid and more precisely, a spoilt brat.
Q: (something about West Ham struggling in the last few weeks) What does this mean for West Ham?
A: Well it's a result.. uh, it's a reward in some way for the fact that we've tried to do everything right and uh on the training ground, uh on the playing side - we've tried to approach every game in the same manner. And there's been a lot of (dunno what) about (players and staff, like wth). And it's a great fillip for this club. And I'm very very happy tonight.
Comment: It's no wonder you lost eight in a row, you don't approach every game in the same manner. Death to all Argentinians in West Ham, they screw up the whole pecking order. When they don't play, West Ham wins. It's proven by the matches against Blackburn and Arsenal. If you think my commentary is out of point, why don't you take a look at Pardew's. I'm just learning from him, man.
Anyway like duh you're happy tonight. Who is unhappy after a 1-0 win seriously should get a bollocking, to put it very precisely in British terms.
Q: (something something) celebrate.
A: (something something) on the back page, yea. (fades out)
Comment: Mumble mumble mumble mutter. I wish you'd speak clearly next time, or maybe I should go dig my ears.
To round off, here's to West Ham!
Oh and yes, Wenger is made to look like a villain. Good job Pardew! I really love that guy and his post-match conference, it's so subtly aimed at Wenger such that the Frenchman with French as the first language wouldn't get the idea he kena bombard like mad. (jack)
And so..
Yup we hammered their Ars nice and well! I shall declare Monday a public holiday, for even though artillery might be great, sometimes it's best to go back to primitive Man and try out his stone tools ftw. I love West Ham.
I don't know what the rest of the world thinks. In particular, Arsenal fans.
But hey, I did nothing to engineer the West Ham win so don't stone me okay? I had totally nothing to do with the West Ham victory, though if you'd like to credit me for being their fan, I will gladly accept it. The funny part is the post-match conference with Alan Pardew, West Ham manager.
You can find it at http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/sport/default.stm. It's right there and if you're not reading this too late on Monday, it should be under one of the headlines. Not my fault if you don't read this blog regularly and come crying that the video's gone. It's seriously amusing.
Anyway, to quote some bits from dear Mister Pardew:
(in the post-match interview)
Q: (unclear British mutterings).. Alexander Hleb, was a penalty. What did you think?
A: Well, Arsene Wenger certainly thought it was a penalty, and that frustrated him. I could see it was from behind, the challenge, but I think he got a little bit of the ball. (...) I think we'd know if it was a penalty. But the reaction of our players, they reacted in a way that it wasn't, so I went along with that reaction (shrugs).. and played on.
Comment: LIKE DUH WENGER WOULD BE FRUSTRATED? I don't know what's wrong with Pardew, it was a penalty and he's got to admit it. After all, it doesn't matter at this stage. Three points will still be three points even though he says it's a penalty now. Why not rub salt into the Gunners' wound? These Englishmen, they know pride, they know beating around the bush, they know saying politically correct answers and they know it's a penalty, that.
Q: It was an emotional game, Alan. (more British mutterings).. tell me about the situation. (between Pardew and Wenger)
A: With me and Arsene?
Comment: No, no, with you and Pope Benedict the XVI.
Q: Yea. (that wasn't really a question)
A: ..celebration, but you know it's been a frustrating season. A last-minute goal, desperate to win. And you know, I have absolute (dunno what) respect for Arsene Wenger.. and I shall try to talk to him when he's calmed down. (...) if I was him, and see if I can sort that out with him, because that situation, it wasn't right for the game. And on my part, I do apologise for being overzealous, but uh, I hope that won't get the headlines for what was a players' day. West Ham players. They were brilliant. Great win for us today.
Comment: Seems like Mister Pardew is great at dodging the topic - what happened between you and Wenger? Oh I will talk to him. Oh it's bad for the game. West Ham was brilliant. No doubt he's speaking the truth, West Ham is always brilliant, but WHY NO DETAILS? Anyway Wenger shoved him first so giving a true account won't hurt him one bit.
And another thing. He shouldn't have compromised about the celebrations. Nothing wrong with being happy, innit? I can't understand the French, I thought they liked to be happy with their slack lifestyle but here Wenger aka the French Professor gets so pissed off when Pardew is happy? He should just celebrate with Pardew YAY YOU'VE GOT THE WIN, SECOND ONE IN THE ROW. Then the game at Upton Park would end with a happy ending. But did Wenger? No. Silly old French tortoise.
Anyway seems like Pardew wants to make Wenger seem like the villain (which he is). Cunning old fox. That's all right for him to say, he didn't lose the game. (as you'll see what I mean later)
Q: ..the situation, you did offer your hand (to Wenger) at the end of the game. (not really a question either)
A: I did, and uh, y'know, last-minute goals. They're horrible for managers. And uh, y'know, I've got no problems with Arsene. At the end of the game, I hope we're all calm and I hope he'll be sensible about it.
Comment: True colours, it seems, at last. Last-minute goals don't seem at all horrible for him today, so his point about those goals are not valid. Sure he has no problems with Arsene, not when he's won 1-0. And like duh that's why he's offering a handshake. Arsene the villain. He ends off by saying "I hope we're all calm" because it's bloody obvious Wenger's definitely hell not and "he'll be sensible" finally shows Pardew's contempt for Wenger behaving like a small kid and more precisely, a spoilt brat.
Q: (something about West Ham struggling in the last few weeks) What does this mean for West Ham?
A: Well it's a result.. uh, it's a reward in some way for the fact that we've tried to do everything right and uh on the training ground, uh on the playing side - we've tried to approach every game in the same manner. And there's been a lot of (dunno what) about (players and staff, like wth). And it's a great fillip for this club. And I'm very very happy tonight.
Comment: It's no wonder you lost eight in a row, you don't approach every game in the same manner. Death to all Argentinians in West Ham, they screw up the whole pecking order. When they don't play, West Ham wins. It's proven by the matches against Blackburn and Arsenal. If you think my commentary is out of point, why don't you take a look at Pardew's. I'm just learning from him, man.
Anyway like duh you're happy tonight. Who is unhappy after a 1-0 win seriously should get a bollocking, to put it very precisely in British terms.
Q: (something something) celebrate.
A: (something something) on the back page, yea. (fades out)
Comment: Mumble mumble mumble mutter. I wish you'd speak clearly next time, or maybe I should go dig my ears.
To round off, here's to West Ham!
Oh and yes, Wenger is made to look like a villain. Good job Pardew! I really love that guy and his post-match conference, it's so subtly aimed at Wenger such that the Frenchman with French as the first language wouldn't get the idea he kena bombard like mad. (jack)
And so..
Yup we hammered their Ars nice and well! I shall declare Monday a public holiday, for even though artillery might be great, sometimes it's best to go back to primitive Man and try out his stone tools ftw. I love West Ham.
Friday, November 03, 2006
FACTS OF LIFE
Okay DIRTYJOKEDIRTYJOKEDIRTYJOKE
To all innocent minds out there, you have been warned.
Don't read this unless you can take FACTS OF LIFE. About a certain part of a man's anatomy that can be alluded from the name of our blog. The second word, to be precise. It's slang for a certain part of a man's anatomy. A certain sensitive but essential part of a man.
It's true, but at the same time very wrong.
The post contains naughty content.
If you are below twelve and don't get it, then don't try to get it.
If you are above twelve and don't get it, then go ask your friends.
So here are the interesting facts of life that you should know. About the certain important organ of a man.
- Wanking takes long - as long as the length of your willy. The time you take to wank is proportional to the length of your willy.
- Similarly, how hard it is for your cum to cum (come) out depends on how hard your willy is.
There, I've gone and said it. If any of you think I'm being sick, I already warned you so too bad. And if there's anyone to blame, go look for YL because I was reluctant to impart this information to all of you but he thought that p2p is so hip nowadays, it would be nice to let everyone know.
That's the interesting facts of life for today.
Hope that sets things straight. (no pun intended)
To all innocent minds out there, you have been warned.
Don't read this unless you can take FACTS OF LIFE. About a certain part of a man's anatomy that can be alluded from the name of our blog. The second word, to be precise. It's slang for a certain part of a man's anatomy. A certain sensitive but essential part of a man.
It's true, but at the same time very wrong.
The post contains naughty content.
If you are below twelve and don't get it, then don't try to get it.
If you are above twelve and don't get it, then go ask your friends.
So here are the interesting facts of life that you should know. About the certain important organ of a man.
- Wanking takes long - as long as the length of your willy. The time you take to wank is proportional to the length of your willy.
- Similarly, how hard it is for your cum to cum (come) out depends on how hard your willy is.
There, I've gone and said it. If any of you think I'm being sick, I already warned you so too bad. And if there's anyone to blame, go look for YL because I was reluctant to impart this information to all of you but he thought that p2p is so hip nowadays, it would be nice to let everyone know.
That's the interesting facts of life for today.
Hope that sets things straight. (no pun intended)
Quotes and Daniel Radcliffe
A certain person very enlightened about a certain thing.
He's so certain about it, he certainly came up with a good way to say it.
"I am already 99.9% sure about it.. I just have to confirm the other 0.01%."
Anyway, in latest news, Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter is going to go naked in some play. Not in Harry Potter, but in some obscure screwed-up play that has a five-letter name so difficult to pronounce that I don't even remember it.
Apparently the director was kind of nonchalant about Radcliffe doing it - for "at worst someone takes pictures of his willy."
I assume, by "willy", the director means his dick.
Wonder what's up with British slang? Can't they call a dick what it is.
Daniel Radcliffe is only seventeen. Which is like, my age. YL's age. YH's age. The age of everyone in JC1 except the China scholars, the Malaysia scholars, and those who haven't had their birthdays. Which is still a lot of people.
Think of those people in TSD in RJC. Do they go off showing their willies?
Hell no, they'd just give us the heeby-jeebies.
Western society is going crazy nowadays. As if it is okay to show off your private parts to the world, the director finds it all right that the 17-year-old goes naked on stage.
I really never did like TSD (Theatre Studies & Drama), you know.
I guess I can rest my case.
Oh, and future TSD students had better be careful. Because at worst someone might just take pictures of your private parts. The world needs less technology and nude scenes, I feel.
He's so certain about it, he certainly came up with a good way to say it.
"I am already 99.9% sure about it.. I just have to confirm the other 0.01%."
Anyway, in latest news, Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter is going to go naked in some play. Not in Harry Potter, but in some obscure screwed-up play that has a five-letter name so difficult to pronounce that I don't even remember it.
Apparently the director was kind of nonchalant about Radcliffe doing it - for "at worst someone takes pictures of his willy."
I assume, by "willy", the director means his dick.
Wonder what's up with British slang? Can't they call a dick what it is.
Daniel Radcliffe is only seventeen. Which is like, my age. YL's age. YH's age. The age of everyone in JC1 except the China scholars, the Malaysia scholars, and those who haven't had their birthdays. Which is still a lot of people.
Think of those people in TSD in RJC. Do they go off showing their willies?
Hell no, they'd just give us the heeby-jeebies.
Western society is going crazy nowadays. As if it is okay to show off your private parts to the world, the director finds it all right that the 17-year-old goes naked on stage.
I really never did like TSD (Theatre Studies & Drama), you know.
I guess I can rest my case.
Oh, and future TSD students had better be careful. Because at worst someone might just take pictures of your private parts. The world needs less technology and nude scenes, I feel.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
SPA!
So we had spa today. Nothing much to it. Rather, let me show you my mock spa!
But no, in case you were wondering, i didn't write that for my spa today.
But no, in case you were wondering, i didn't write that for my spa today.
Of Chem SPA
I love Chem SPA Skill A, I really do.
I believe my grade will be the same as the SPA name, and no I'm not joking because the SPA was ridiculously.. heavily reliant on luck. And today I happened to be lucky and I rode my luck. Didn't even need to spot questions because I've got all the luck. I didn't know the answer at first but you know in Chemistry you have so few reagents it HAS GOT TO BE one of them.
NaOH (aq) was the answer in this case. So I tyco-ed the ammonium salt and amide.
Okay never mind that, I'm just very happy. Sorry if I seem like I'm bragging to you, because I really am. I think I should pass this round =)
And trivia time!
Q: What is the first section that you should write in Chem SPA Skill A (Planning)?
.
.
.
A: Safety considerations.
Why? BECAUSE SAFETY FIRST!
Don't you think it's bloody stupid to let a bloody stupid person go through the whole procedure without wearing gloves, and at the end there's this safety consideration that says "wear gloves all the time because organic compounds might irritate your skin"?
Rubbish. Of course you put Safety Considerations at the front. NO SAFETY, NO EXPERIMENT.
Oh and another screwed up thing about today.
Shift A - 9am to 10:30am
Shift B - 10:30am to 12pm
Being number one, of course I was in Shift A. Actually, YL was in the same LT as me and I think he's going to score damn well although he certainly didn't do it by luck. He woke up at 5am to study today. Me, I preferred to study at 12:30am.
Nevertheless we were both in Shift A.
After we finished our SPA, we went out to the amphi.. and guess what? QUARANTINE ZONE. The second shift people were all seated, and construction tape (or whatever you call that red and white thing) was all over the pillars to cordon off the amphi.
They had the "haven't-took-SPA-and-cannot-know-answers" disease.
Come to think of it, what's wrong even if we leaked the questions?
1) It improves batch relations.
2) It fosters batch spirit.
3) RJC gets higher "A" %tage rate for Chemistry A levels next year.
4) I'm a selfish fagut and I won't leak the questions ANYWAY.
5) No, not even if you give me the chance, I won't leak it.
6) I WILL NOT LEAK IT YES.
Getting them all to sit down at the amphi, it seemed like a concentration camp. Without any electronic devices whatsoever. I was tempted to shout out the compounds but heck, the Chem Dept might decide to kick me off the school compounds.
And as YL puts it, "they might rip off my badge."
Coincidentally, I wasn't wearing my Councillor badge today. I told you I was in luck.
In any case I guess they got the construction tape cheap. With RI undergoing so much construction nowadays, RJ Chem Dept probably just koped some off the stupid hall they are rebuilding and cordoned off the amphi. A highly amusing experience. A pity we couldn't capture the moment as we didn't have the resources (ie a camera).
Anyone who wants to donate to our TCS fund for a camera to post stupid pics can put the money in seventh floor male toilet, third cubicle. If you openly admire us you can give it to us at the canteen, we'd gladly accept donations. If everybody from RJ donates $1 a day, we'd get our camera in no time.. like one day.
But I'm not so optimistic. Nowadays times are bad and probably everybody would only donate 50 cents a day. So sad to say but I don't think we'll be getting our camera anytime soon.
If you want us to busk for donations, that's fine too. Just leave a comment and we'll be singing in the canteen the next day. I think there is gross under-publicity for The Integrals in RJC, we're really not showing enough of our talent and ARGH. I'm dying to show it!!
Anyway not like it matters. What matters was that quarantining second batch was screwed up and we at TCS probably owned Chem SPA today. Yup. While the second batch must have got irritated by the volatile amides (inhaling poisonous fumes) so they all got quarantined, the first batch got early dismissal.
And to celebrate, I went for a real SPA at RI pool. Now that's life.
I believe my grade will be the same as the SPA name, and no I'm not joking because the SPA was ridiculously.. heavily reliant on luck. And today I happened to be lucky and I rode my luck. Didn't even need to spot questions because I've got all the luck. I didn't know the answer at first but you know in Chemistry you have so few reagents it HAS GOT TO BE one of them.
NaOH (aq) was the answer in this case. So I tyco-ed the ammonium salt and amide.
Okay never mind that, I'm just very happy. Sorry if I seem like I'm bragging to you, because I really am. I think I should pass this round =)
And trivia time!
Q: What is the first section that you should write in Chem SPA Skill A (Planning)?
.
.
.
A: Safety considerations.
Why? BECAUSE SAFETY FIRST!
Don't you think it's bloody stupid to let a bloody stupid person go through the whole procedure without wearing gloves, and at the end there's this safety consideration that says "wear gloves all the time because organic compounds might irritate your skin"?
Rubbish. Of course you put Safety Considerations at the front. NO SAFETY, NO EXPERIMENT.
Oh and another screwed up thing about today.
Shift A - 9am to 10:30am
Shift B - 10:30am to 12pm
Being number one, of course I was in Shift A. Actually, YL was in the same LT as me and I think he's going to score damn well although he certainly didn't do it by luck. He woke up at 5am to study today. Me, I preferred to study at 12:30am.
Nevertheless we were both in Shift A.
After we finished our SPA, we went out to the amphi.. and guess what? QUARANTINE ZONE. The second shift people were all seated, and construction tape (or whatever you call that red and white thing) was all over the pillars to cordon off the amphi.
They had the "haven't-took-SPA-and-cannot-know-answers" disease.
Come to think of it, what's wrong even if we leaked the questions?
1) It improves batch relations.
2) It fosters batch spirit.
3) RJC gets higher "A" %tage rate for Chemistry A levels next year.
4) I'm a selfish fagut and I won't leak the questions ANYWAY.
5) No, not even if you give me the chance, I won't leak it.
6) I WILL NOT LEAK IT YES.
Getting them all to sit down at the amphi, it seemed like a concentration camp. Without any electronic devices whatsoever. I was tempted to shout out the compounds but heck, the Chem Dept might decide to kick me off the school compounds.
And as YL puts it, "they might rip off my badge."
Coincidentally, I wasn't wearing my Councillor badge today. I told you I was in luck.
In any case I guess they got the construction tape cheap. With RI undergoing so much construction nowadays, RJ Chem Dept probably just koped some off the stupid hall they are rebuilding and cordoned off the amphi. A highly amusing experience. A pity we couldn't capture the moment as we didn't have the resources (ie a camera).
Anyone who wants to donate to our TCS fund for a camera to post stupid pics can put the money in seventh floor male toilet, third cubicle. If you openly admire us you can give it to us at the canteen, we'd gladly accept donations. If everybody from RJ donates $1 a day, we'd get our camera in no time.. like one day.
But I'm not so optimistic. Nowadays times are bad and probably everybody would only donate 50 cents a day. So sad to say but I don't think we'll be getting our camera anytime soon.
If you want us to busk for donations, that's fine too. Just leave a comment and we'll be singing in the canteen the next day. I think there is gross under-publicity for The Integrals in RJC, we're really not showing enough of our talent and ARGH. I'm dying to show it!!
Anyway not like it matters. What matters was that quarantining second batch was screwed up and we at TCS probably owned Chem SPA today. Yup. While the second batch must have got irritated by the volatile amides (inhaling poisonous fumes) so they all got quarantined, the first batch got early dismissal.
And to celebrate, I went for a real SPA at RI pool. Now that's life.
Monday, October 30, 2006
At last!
After 2 days of trying to publish, I finally could publish the two previous posts!
And at the same time, West Ham's winning Blackburn 1-0.
I think it's true. You can't lose all the time.
And at the same time, West Ham's winning Blackburn 1-0.
I think it's true. You can't lose all the time.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Confession
Sometimes confessions come least when you expect it.
YL dropped a bombshell on me tonight. I NEVER KNEW BEFOREHAND LA TMD. There were no signs, no warnings but all of a sudden he just got attached.
Leaves me to head the NGO by myself. Oh well.
If you can't read the text..
u_klun..i'll go to the end of the world for you. but luckily for me, the earth is round. says:
hi!
- yj [ that's not false ] says:
hey
- yj [ that's not false ] says:
who's that in your dp
u_klun..i'll go to the end of the world for you. but luckily for me, the earth is round. says:
my girlfriend
I'm censoring YL's email because you all are so not going to be third parties even though YL might be hot and sexy. (That's what he will say to you.)
YL dropped a bombshell on me tonight. I NEVER KNEW BEFOREHAND LA TMD. There were no signs, no warnings but all of a sudden he just got attached.
Leaves me to head the NGO by myself. Oh well.
If you can't read the text..
u_klun..i'll go to the end of the world for you. but luckily for me, the earth is round. says:
hi!
- yj [ that's not false ] says:
hey
- yj [ that's not false ] says:
who's that in your dp
u_klun..i'll go to the end of the world for you. but luckily for me, the earth is round. says:
my girlfriend
I'm censoring YL's email because you all are so not going to be third parties even though YL might be hot and sexy. (That's what he will say to you.)
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Self-confidence
Among all those silly failures that I've listed, I'm afraid I left out one very important one.
FAILURE TO GET TOP 20 IN CHEM FOR PROMOS. (zomg!)
How could I forget that. Maybe I'm just living in my own world of denial.
Anyway, today's post is about feeling good. Assuming that life is tough and everyone wants to feel good, it is important to know how to feel good. Of course, you can't feel good when the circumstances are against you, but feelings are pretty much controlled by yourself, and therefore you have the power to feel good.
Or should I say, YOUR feelings are pretty much controlled by yourself. Everything is relative and everything should be put into perspective.
Let's take a very basic example - playing basketball. You have no idea how many times I've been shooting and missing by a few miles, usually because I think I'm shooting birds and blast the ball right over the board. Well, Michael Jordan missed his 9000 shots, and I haven't missed that many so far.
Though I haven't been playing a lot.. but never mind that.
The trick is to letting yourself believe that you are skilled in other areas.
If you play basketball and keep airballing (ie it doesn't touch the board because you're a weakling), you don't have to think you suck at basketball. Even if your coach says so, think that you are made for HANDBALL. Yup, in handball it is essential not to shoot over the goalmouth. Therefore that is the sport for you if you can't shoot high enough.
After all, it's quite true that sometimes the basket is too high. It's difficult to slam dunk and that takes away the fun of basketball.
If your aiming is just way off and even though you can reach the required height for basketball, it means that probably VOLLEYBALL is your game. Every cloud has a silver lining, and thus every failure must mean you have talent in someplace else. Shooting left and right will ensure that the opponent gets pwned. That's how volleyball works, and voila, you've made yourself useful again.
If you keep shooting too hard against the board (they call it 篮板球) and it just reflects right back to you, there is this game called WATERPOLO where hard shots are for the win. The only thing is that you have to know how to swim. If you don't, try doing ARCHERY. You could shoot birds up in trees.
If you keep shooting a little over the top of the basketball board, then perhaps you should consider playing NETBALL. You just need to be a little tyco, and the ball will automatically go in. Try a few high angle shots, and if they fail you in Netball, perhaps you are just made for Beach Volleyball, where I believe the net is slightly higher and you'd be ultimate ownage at that.
And if you think you're totally shit at basketball such that you blast the ball way over the top, or you can't seem to get the ball off the ground..
..you're not at your wits' end yet.
There's always BOWLING, a traditional favourite among those who likes aircon and who hates altitude. You don't swing bowling balls all over the place do you? And for those who keeps shooting WAY OVER THE TOP..
..uh, we refer you back to this module in RI Physical Education. Something we all did in our Sec 4 year. Territorial/invasion and the other games. I only remember one sort of game because I just don't really remember the rest (like duh).
Anyway, the thing is, if you fail at all the sports available, the module that I was talking about is.. INVENTING GAMES!! Many years have gone by and new things keep popping up all over the place. The idea is: if you can't find a sport you're good at, you MAKE a sport you're good at.
Many losers are bloody good at this. Notice when a country hosts the SEA Games or the Olympics, they get to choose what games they want to play? They simply take away the events they simply have no hope at, and then introduce some obscure crap that they trained for damn long and suddenly get free golds.
Of course, others might say it's cheap. But a gold is a gold.
Let's take for example HOOP TAKRAW, going to be played in the next SEA Games. It's quite obviously a cheap copy of sepak takraw, and adjusted a little to make it advantageous for those who keep pumping the ball way up high but without any power. While they get whooped in sepak takraw, they can seek solace that they are masters in getting balls in hoops.
Balls to them actually, that's no big deal. Still, they'd be wHOOPing at the end of the day when they get their medals because the world is about being good, no matter how you get there.
Don't let them get you down, Inventing Games are good. That's why it's graded for your final PE grade.
In other words, there's no reason not to have self-confidence. The world is made for you to succeed in, and already in sports you are guaranteed sure success.
Perhaps, if you are too lazy to move your arse on the basketball court or on any sort of playing field, you could invent this sport called STONING.
The possibilities are endless.
But I think I might win the stoning contest.
Still, in the meantime, do have self-confidence. It's good for your ego and it's good for feeling good. You get positive externalities when you feel good so uh, yup just feel good.
FAILURE TO GET TOP 20 IN CHEM FOR PROMOS. (zomg!)
How could I forget that. Maybe I'm just living in my own world of denial.
Anyway, today's post is about feeling good. Assuming that life is tough and everyone wants to feel good, it is important to know how to feel good. Of course, you can't feel good when the circumstances are against you, but feelings are pretty much controlled by yourself, and therefore you have the power to feel good.
Or should I say, YOUR feelings are pretty much controlled by yourself. Everything is relative and everything should be put into perspective.
Let's take a very basic example - playing basketball. You have no idea how many times I've been shooting and missing by a few miles, usually because I think I'm shooting birds and blast the ball right over the board. Well, Michael Jordan missed his 9000 shots, and I haven't missed that many so far.
Though I haven't been playing a lot.. but never mind that.
The trick is to letting yourself believe that you are skilled in other areas.
If you play basketball and keep airballing (ie it doesn't touch the board because you're a weakling), you don't have to think you suck at basketball. Even if your coach says so, think that you are made for HANDBALL. Yup, in handball it is essential not to shoot over the goalmouth. Therefore that is the sport for you if you can't shoot high enough.
After all, it's quite true that sometimes the basket is too high. It's difficult to slam dunk and that takes away the fun of basketball.
If your aiming is just way off and even though you can reach the required height for basketball, it means that probably VOLLEYBALL is your game. Every cloud has a silver lining, and thus every failure must mean you have talent in someplace else. Shooting left and right will ensure that the opponent gets pwned. That's how volleyball works, and voila, you've made yourself useful again.
If you keep shooting too hard against the board (they call it 篮板球) and it just reflects right back to you, there is this game called WATERPOLO where hard shots are for the win. The only thing is that you have to know how to swim. If you don't, try doing ARCHERY. You could shoot birds up in trees.
If you keep shooting a little over the top of the basketball board, then perhaps you should consider playing NETBALL. You just need to be a little tyco, and the ball will automatically go in. Try a few high angle shots, and if they fail you in Netball, perhaps you are just made for Beach Volleyball, where I believe the net is slightly higher and you'd be ultimate ownage at that.
And if you think you're totally shit at basketball such that you blast the ball way over the top, or you can't seem to get the ball off the ground..
..you're not at your wits' end yet.
There's always BOWLING, a traditional favourite among those who likes aircon and who hates altitude. You don't swing bowling balls all over the place do you? And for those who keeps shooting WAY OVER THE TOP..
..uh, we refer you back to this module in RI Physical Education. Something we all did in our Sec 4 year. Territorial/invasion and the other games. I only remember one sort of game because I just don't really remember the rest (like duh).
Anyway, the thing is, if you fail at all the sports available, the module that I was talking about is.. INVENTING GAMES!! Many years have gone by and new things keep popping up all over the place. The idea is: if you can't find a sport you're good at, you MAKE a sport you're good at.
Many losers are bloody good at this. Notice when a country hosts the SEA Games or the Olympics, they get to choose what games they want to play? They simply take away the events they simply have no hope at, and then introduce some obscure crap that they trained for damn long and suddenly get free golds.
Of course, others might say it's cheap. But a gold is a gold.
Let's take for example HOOP TAKRAW, going to be played in the next SEA Games. It's quite obviously a cheap copy of sepak takraw, and adjusted a little to make it advantageous for those who keep pumping the ball way up high but without any power. While they get whooped in sepak takraw, they can seek solace that they are masters in getting balls in hoops.
Balls to them actually, that's no big deal. Still, they'd be wHOOPing at the end of the day when they get their medals because the world is about being good, no matter how you get there.
Don't let them get you down, Inventing Games are good. That's why it's graded for your final PE grade.
In other words, there's no reason not to have self-confidence. The world is made for you to succeed in, and already in sports you are guaranteed sure success.
Perhaps, if you are too lazy to move your arse on the basketball court or on any sort of playing field, you could invent this sport called STONING.
The possibilities are endless.
But I think I might win the stoning contest.
Still, in the meantime, do have self-confidence. It's good for your ego and it's good for feeling good. You get positive externalities when you feel good so uh, yup just feel good.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Failures
Okay it's the last day of JC1 (gasp!), and upon reflection, I shall post here my 5 biggest failures of the year.
1) Failure to sleep early. See, I'm still posting now, which proves a point. My Thursday posts are actually Wednesday posts, and my Wednesday posts are actually Tuesday posts. Such is the sad state of my uh, sleeping habits.
2) Failure to get school cancelled. Despite having Plan PSI 300, and despite getting all my friends to burn their notes, I am very disappointed to say that it failed. And therefore I burnt all my notes FOR NOTHING ARGH. Well I also formulated another plan to play a prank by sticking up a note at the side gate saying school is cancelled. Then pretend to be a victim and go home.
Sadly, I could not wake up early enough to paste the sheet of paper. Refer to Failure No. 1. By that I don't mean refer to me (some people might debate that I'm Failure No. 1 too), but the first failure that I've listed here. I've not enough guts anyway.
3) Failure to find more NBA members. I think I must have been too ambitious, trying to find NBA members in RJC but instead of expanding the NBA circle, I'm just inside being a loser while watching the world go buaya. I shall not comment any further, but I rate this as one of the failures that shouldn't have been there. I know there are MUGGERS around. I KNOW IT!
4) Failure to make Stall 2 auntie lose business. For her BAD WORK ATTITUDE and the POOR QUALITY OF LEMON TEA, I decided to launch a campaign against Stall 2, declaring war. The first idea was to do mass boycott, starting from my class. Almost my whole class still patronised the stall, the only guy not doing so being me. After half a day I realised I couldn't take it anymore and went to buy wedges from them. That was bad discipline, I admit.
Still, there can be no denial their lemon tea does taste like soapwater. And the auntie flirts with certain students, according to reliable but unnamed sources. Worse still, after flirting she doesn't give discount. Therefore I say don't bother. And therefore I say boycott Stall 2. Though we all know they are a bloody monopoly and by tomorrow, guaranteed everyone's going to be buying stuff from them unless they are Muslims fasting. Even so, Hari Raya Puasa is over and I think they'll get their business.
From everyone including me argh.
5) Failure to be the most failure. Although I have my off days, I guess I still can't qualify as "top failure" in RJC because there are others who have proved themselves more jacked than me. This is debatable as there are different ways to define "failure", but I passed my Chemistry and Chemistry is life so no, I can't be that bad a failure.
Unfortunately, life is about extremes and if you fail to get a title for yourself, you fail. I fail to be top failure and therefore I fail.
All right I'm seriously failing to understand what I'm writing. But school closes anyway, and TCS wishes everyone happy holidays. Do make good use of them by flying kites or playing soccer, we all know that these activities are good for you.
Me, I'll try to work on these failures so that they won't fail next year. Watch out Stall 2 hurhur.
1) Failure to sleep early. See, I'm still posting now, which proves a point. My Thursday posts are actually Wednesday posts, and my Wednesday posts are actually Tuesday posts. Such is the sad state of my uh, sleeping habits.
2) Failure to get school cancelled. Despite having Plan PSI 300, and despite getting all my friends to burn their notes, I am very disappointed to say that it failed. And therefore I burnt all my notes FOR NOTHING ARGH. Well I also formulated another plan to play a prank by sticking up a note at the side gate saying school is cancelled. Then pretend to be a victim and go home.
Sadly, I could not wake up early enough to paste the sheet of paper. Refer to Failure No. 1. By that I don't mean refer to me (some people might debate that I'm Failure No. 1 too), but the first failure that I've listed here. I've not enough guts anyway.
3) Failure to find more NBA members. I think I must have been too ambitious, trying to find NBA members in RJC but instead of expanding the NBA circle, I'm just inside being a loser while watching the world go buaya. I shall not comment any further, but I rate this as one of the failures that shouldn't have been there. I know there are MUGGERS around. I KNOW IT!
4) Failure to make Stall 2 auntie lose business. For her BAD WORK ATTITUDE and the POOR QUALITY OF LEMON TEA, I decided to launch a campaign against Stall 2, declaring war. The first idea was to do mass boycott, starting from my class. Almost my whole class still patronised the stall, the only guy not doing so being me. After half a day I realised I couldn't take it anymore and went to buy wedges from them. That was bad discipline, I admit.
Still, there can be no denial their lemon tea does taste like soapwater. And the auntie flirts with certain students, according to reliable but unnamed sources. Worse still, after flirting she doesn't give discount. Therefore I say don't bother. And therefore I say boycott Stall 2. Though we all know they are a bloody monopoly and by tomorrow, guaranteed everyone's going to be buying stuff from them unless they are Muslims fasting. Even so, Hari Raya Puasa is over and I think they'll get their business.
From everyone including me argh.
5) Failure to be the most failure. Although I have my off days, I guess I still can't qualify as "top failure" in RJC because there are others who have proved themselves more jacked than me. This is debatable as there are different ways to define "failure", but I passed my Chemistry and Chemistry is life so no, I can't be that bad a failure.
Unfortunately, life is about extremes and if you fail to get a title for yourself, you fail. I fail to be top failure and therefore I fail.
All right I'm seriously failing to understand what I'm writing. But school closes anyway, and TCS wishes everyone happy holidays. Do make good use of them by flying kites or playing soccer, we all know that these activities are good for you.
Me, I'll try to work on these failures so that they won't fail next year. Watch out Stall 2 hurhur.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Deathnote
Shit, YL's gay new idea for the template has resulted in my inability to post accents.
éÖüÛÓÈì“õíâ
There. Does it appear to you as a lump of rubbish? That's what accents are anyway, a lump of rubbish and a waste of time typing it out, I'd much prefer writing any day.
Anyway there has been recent excitement about deathnotes and how everyone wishes they exist in real life because they want one. I say stop dreaming and move on, we all know that's not possible so stop speculating on who you are going to kill if you get that deathnote. If you hate that person that much just go kill him/her straight, no questions asked. Technology advances, but deathnotes are simply not reachable at this point in time.
Still, imagination is good and you might get satisfaction of dreaming.
If I get a deathnote, who would I kill first?
I'm not that selfish. I won't be killing anyone in school. I say Didier Drogba be first to go because he's got a snazzy attitude and frankly his scoring record is getting to be a pain in the arse. Then of course it's goodbye to Edwin van der Sar because we all know Man Utd would be bottom of the Premiership if not for his antics. Stupid leaky defence should just leak some more, so Rio Ferdinand is number three.
Hell, why don't I just write down the whole Man Utd team? Hoho it sure will be funny when the Manchester Evening Standard or some of their local papers publish "Man Utd players all die at one go". Or what about the BBC commentator giving match commentary says, "My heart stopped when I saw the players drop dead one by one on the field."
Then I'll just write his name in deathnote. WOW!!
That will teach them to use metaphors. Or tell lies.
In the context of school, I'm not sure who I'd like to kill off. Probably anyone and everyone getting higher than me for Chemistry. I don't like getting rid of unnecessary lives because if I killed my whole batch I'd be a very lonely and sad person. But then again, by killing anyone who got higher than me, that would be like THE WHOLE BATCH.
Argh, dilemma dilemma.
I might bring home a 100.0 percentile but I won't need to go for anymore outings.
Still, think about it. If deathnotes existed as normal pieces of paper, how bloody crazy would that be. During an exam, you write your name on the script and 40 seconds later you die. It's like wth.
Or better yet, the whiteboard is a deathnote (or a deathboard). The teacher writes down all the people down for remedial. THEN THAT MEANS I DIE AGAIN. LIKE WTH.
Deathnotes sound really dangerous, and now come to think of it I'm glad they don't exist.
And the stupid movie has given a whole new dimension to deathnotes. Because in true fact, deathnotes are notes that people write when they're about to die or commit suicide. Not some stupid book where you kill. If it's a murder weapon, call it a murder weapon. Don't "deathnote" here, "deathnote" there. It's a bloody murder weapon and that's that.
On the other hand, you could think of notes as mugging notes. Deathnotes would be notes about death. Biology students can start groaning as they mug a new set of notes. I think this word is seriously revolutionary, makes one think so much about it. It's probably the most important thing that has occurred to me, and I suddenly feel so inspired.
But hell, I'm tired too.
Enough about deathnotes, I'm going to sleep.
éÖüÛÓÈì“õíâ
There. Does it appear to you as a lump of rubbish? That's what accents are anyway, a lump of rubbish and a waste of time typing it out, I'd much prefer writing any day.
Anyway there has been recent excitement about deathnotes and how everyone wishes they exist in real life because they want one. I say stop dreaming and move on, we all know that's not possible so stop speculating on who you are going to kill if you get that deathnote. If you hate that person that much just go kill him/her straight, no questions asked. Technology advances, but deathnotes are simply not reachable at this point in time.
Still, imagination is good and you might get satisfaction of dreaming.
If I get a deathnote, who would I kill first?
I'm not that selfish. I won't be killing anyone in school. I say Didier Drogba be first to go because he's got a snazzy attitude and frankly his scoring record is getting to be a pain in the arse. Then of course it's goodbye to Edwin van der Sar because we all know Man Utd would be bottom of the Premiership if not for his antics. Stupid leaky defence should just leak some more, so Rio Ferdinand is number three.
Hell, why don't I just write down the whole Man Utd team? Hoho it sure will be funny when the Manchester Evening Standard or some of their local papers publish "Man Utd players all die at one go". Or what about the BBC commentator giving match commentary says, "My heart stopped when I saw the players drop dead one by one on the field."
Then I'll just write his name in deathnote. WOW!!
That will teach them to use metaphors. Or tell lies.
In the context of school, I'm not sure who I'd like to kill off. Probably anyone and everyone getting higher than me for Chemistry. I don't like getting rid of unnecessary lives because if I killed my whole batch I'd be a very lonely and sad person. But then again, by killing anyone who got higher than me, that would be like THE WHOLE BATCH.
Argh, dilemma dilemma.
I might bring home a 100.0 percentile but I won't need to go for anymore outings.
Still, think about it. If deathnotes existed as normal pieces of paper, how bloody crazy would that be. During an exam, you write your name on the script and 40 seconds later you die. It's like wth.
Or better yet, the whiteboard is a deathnote (or a deathboard). The teacher writes down all the people down for remedial. THEN THAT MEANS I DIE AGAIN. LIKE WTH.
Deathnotes sound really dangerous, and now come to think of it I'm glad they don't exist.
And the stupid movie has given a whole new dimension to deathnotes. Because in true fact, deathnotes are notes that people write when they're about to die or commit suicide. Not some stupid book where you kill. If it's a murder weapon, call it a murder weapon. Don't "deathnote" here, "deathnote" there. It's a bloody murder weapon and that's that.
On the other hand, you could think of notes as mugging notes. Deathnotes would be notes about death. Biology students can start groaning as they mug a new set of notes. I think this word is seriously revolutionary, makes one think so much about it. It's probably the most important thing that has occurred to me, and I suddenly feel so inspired.
But hell, I'm tired too.
Enough about deathnotes, I'm going to sleep.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
RAGE
ZOMG latest development in the plot:
People want to camp outside RJC to slap/kill/whatever the elitist!! Come Wednesday, I'd expect crowds of people at RJC school gates. Only I have one humble request - can you please camp after 7:50am because before that I'll be on a mad rush to make it just in time and having loads of people at the gates will make me have to dodge my way in and slow down my quest for punctuality!
I don't want a white slip thanks.
People want to camp outside RJC to slap/kill/whatever the elitist!! Come Wednesday, I'd expect crowds of people at RJC school gates. Only I have one humble request - can you please camp after 7:50am because before that I'll be on a mad rush to make it just in time and having loads of people at the gates will make me have to dodge my way in and slow down my quest for punctuality!
I don't want a white slip thanks.
What happens when you're too smart
Article Review.. to show what happens when you're too smart.
Now I'm not going to put the certain RJC girl's article here, for such elitist filthy shit is not worthy to be published on a blog meant for utter nonsense. If you need a reference of any sort, go to this link kindly provided by YL, I don't know why he can't find a better link without any adverts.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/n/mb/display.asp?webtag=sammyboymod&msg=121090.1
Then as a student of RJC (shit now more people's gonna call it Raffles Junk Centre thanks to CERTAIN PEOPLE TSK), I am able to provide you with additional information! Yay! Like how the girl is actually a councillor with LOWEST CIP HOURS IN WHOLE COUNCIL! (bet you didn't know that haha)
And according to various sources, she's from Humanities class.
I feel that there are learning points to be taken away from this.
1) If you have elitist views, go write it on the walls on your house and stop blogging about it. Someone supposedly "smart" would have understood sedition and power of the masses. But did she? NO LOL. She chose to blog it and let the world rage at her. Needless to say, Lesson Number One says if you have elitist shit to say don't blog it.
2) Don't be an elitist. I suppose that's like duh. Because you can't be up there all the time. What happened after I got 97.7 percentile for Econs CT? I had the dubious honour of falling more than 30% into the abyss of an S grade for promos. As a result, I'm down for ****ing Econs remedial and that's because I was elite before. Just as Elite Four in Pokémon were beaten, you can't be up there all the time. Better to be a loser who wins at times. (Like me, though I don't win at all.)
3) Take Chemistry!! The subject is definitely going to bring you so down to earth man. Makes you think you're a dimwit, makes you feel like a useless piece of crap rotting in one corner. Now, has the girl ever been to Chemistry remedial? I doubt it. If she had she wouldn't be talking like that. She doesn't understand the concept of chiral centres, that being in the centre of attention will only cause you to have stereoisomers.
Stereoisomers, or different spatial arrangements of atoms with similar chemical formula (I think), denotes variety. Variety means confusion. Therefore having these isomers will cause your life to be in a mess. Life in a mess means your life is screwed. Which is what she is now. Perhaps she should have really considered taking Chemistry.
Long story cut short, I think she should stop bragging just because her papa's an MP or just because she's having fun taking Humanities. For one, taking Arts/Humans subjects grants you automatic promotion so it's no big deal that she's 18 and in J2. Next year I will be 18 and I will be in J2. So what is there to boast about?!
Dire consequences will follow suit. Reading her blog (now defunct), there is only one post just inviting comments. I last checked it two days ago and it has 112 comments. Now it has 279. Wow, is she now becoming more popular than TCS? These comments are highly interesting and a recommended read for everyone because it teaches you vulgarities from the lowest-class to uh, debates of the upper echelons. A real eye-opener for the world. Now someone's famous, huh?
Well, that's the consequence of being too smart.
At least I don't have 200 comments at the end of my post waiting to be read.
Perhaps those Ss and Us have been worth it after all. And oh by the way in latest news I got kicked out of Chemistry remedial. Much as I told the teacher I want to join because I DEFINITELY won't study if I don't go for remedial, he remained adamant that other people need more help.
Fine - I suppose he needs to learn it the hard way. I'll be back next year right after CTs.
Final reminder. Don't be too smart. If you've been a failure once, you wouldn't be down in the papers (for the wrong reasons) plus getting 200+ unpleasant comments on your blog. Frankly, I like my life with below-average grades better.
(Edit: Oh by the way she was GEP.. big surprise there ya. And turns out she took French. Bloody hell, such a disgrace to us Frenchies.)
Now I'm not going to put the certain RJC girl's article here, for such elitist filthy shit is not worthy to be published on a blog meant for utter nonsense. If you need a reference of any sort, go to this link kindly provided by YL, I don't know why he can't find a better link without any adverts.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/n/mb/display.asp?webtag=sammyboymod&msg=121090.1
Then as a student of RJC (shit now more people's gonna call it Raffles Junk Centre thanks to CERTAIN PEOPLE TSK), I am able to provide you with additional information! Yay! Like how the girl is actually a councillor with LOWEST CIP HOURS IN WHOLE COUNCIL! (bet you didn't know that haha)
And according to various sources, she's from Humanities class.
I feel that there are learning points to be taken away from this.
1) If you have elitist views, go write it on the walls on your house and stop blogging about it. Someone supposedly "smart" would have understood sedition and power of the masses. But did she? NO LOL. She chose to blog it and let the world rage at her. Needless to say, Lesson Number One says if you have elitist shit to say don't blog it.
2) Don't be an elitist. I suppose that's like duh. Because you can't be up there all the time. What happened after I got 97.7 percentile for Econs CT? I had the dubious honour of falling more than 30% into the abyss of an S grade for promos. As a result, I'm down for ****ing Econs remedial and that's because I was elite before. Just as Elite Four in Pokémon were beaten, you can't be up there all the time. Better to be a loser who wins at times. (Like me, though I don't win at all.)
3) Take Chemistry!! The subject is definitely going to bring you so down to earth man. Makes you think you're a dimwit, makes you feel like a useless piece of crap rotting in one corner. Now, has the girl ever been to Chemistry remedial? I doubt it. If she had she wouldn't be talking like that. She doesn't understand the concept of chiral centres, that being in the centre of attention will only cause you to have stereoisomers.
Stereoisomers, or different spatial arrangements of atoms with similar chemical formula (I think), denotes variety. Variety means confusion. Therefore having these isomers will cause your life to be in a mess. Life in a mess means your life is screwed. Which is what she is now. Perhaps she should have really considered taking Chemistry.
Long story cut short, I think she should stop bragging just because her papa's an MP or just because she's having fun taking Humanities. For one, taking Arts/Humans subjects grants you automatic promotion so it's no big deal that she's 18 and in J2. Next year I will be 18 and I will be in J2. So what is there to boast about?!
Dire consequences will follow suit. Reading her blog (now defunct), there is only one post just inviting comments. I last checked it two days ago and it has 112 comments. Now it has 279. Wow, is she now becoming more popular than TCS? These comments are highly interesting and a recommended read for everyone because it teaches you vulgarities from the lowest-class to uh, debates of the upper echelons. A real eye-opener for the world. Now someone's famous, huh?
Well, that's the consequence of being too smart.
At least I don't have 200 comments at the end of my post waiting to be read.
Perhaps those Ss and Us have been worth it after all. And oh by the way in latest news I got kicked out of Chemistry remedial. Much as I told the teacher I want to join because I DEFINITELY won't study if I don't go for remedial, he remained adamant that other people need more help.
Fine - I suppose he needs to learn it the hard way. I'll be back next year right after CTs.
Final reminder. Don't be too smart. If you've been a failure once, you wouldn't be down in the papers (for the wrong reasons) plus getting 200+ unpleasant comments on your blog. Frankly, I like my life with below-average grades better.
(Edit: Oh by the way she was GEP.. big surprise there ya. And turns out she took French. Bloody hell, such a disgrace to us Frenchies.)
Sunday, October 22, 2006
a yellow line
i really get sick of all the announcements in the MRT stations. First, there's the one telling everyone to not eat in the stations and trains. Then, there's the one to tell everyone to report suspicious articles. And finally there's the one to tell everyone to stand behind the yellow line.
If someone is stupid enough to stand near the train when it comes into the station, then he probably wouldn't understand the announcement anyway. So it doesn't make a difference. Or he wants to die anyway. Likewise, the boring announcement wouldn't make a difference. maybe the guy would want to die even more, knowing that the world is so boring.
Still, there's something wrong with the announcement, cos it tells you to stand behind the yellow line. But the yellow line is simply what it is, a yellow line. which way is behind? maybe it's that enticing piece of grey cement that we're supposed to stand on?
If someone is stupid enough to stand near the train when it comes into the station, then he probably wouldn't understand the announcement anyway. So it doesn't make a difference. Or he wants to die anyway. Likewise, the boring announcement wouldn't make a difference. maybe the guy would want to die even more, knowing that the world is so boring.
Still, there's something wrong with the announcement, cos it tells you to stand behind the yellow line. But the yellow line is simply what it is, a yellow line. which way is behind? maybe it's that enticing piece of grey cement that we're supposed to stand on?
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Something stupid
We have been talking about results and intellect too much, so here's a bit of brainless humour.
What are the similarities between a huge firm and a voluptuous girl?
1. Both can loan money easily from the bank (assuming noob bank in case of girl.)
2. Both practise dumping. Firms dump to get rid of smaller and weaker competitors, while voluptuous girls dump because well.. the guys simply aren't competent enough.
3. Both have huge assets.
And then a certain fat sicko who read it on MSN (because I typed it -.-) claimed that there was a fourth point - that the word "firm" would both be related to the firm and the girl.
It's obvious to see how the word "firm" links with "firm".
As for the girl, the girl would have huge and firm assets. Thus same as huge firm.
Okay that said, I hope it was brainless enough. Voluptuous girls are often brainless anyway.
What are the similarities between a huge firm and a voluptuous girl?
1. Both can loan money easily from the bank (assuming noob bank in case of girl.)
2. Both practise dumping. Firms dump to get rid of smaller and weaker competitors, while voluptuous girls dump because well.. the guys simply aren't competent enough.
3. Both have huge assets.
And then a certain fat sicko who read it on MSN (because I typed it -.-) claimed that there was a fourth point - that the word "firm" would both be related to the firm and the girl.
It's obvious to see how the word "firm" links with "firm".
As for the girl, the girl would have huge and firm assets. Thus same as huge firm.
Okay that said, I hope it was brainless enough. Voluptuous girls are often brainless anyway.
Friday, October 20, 2006
For those who have waited
I'm sorry but you'd have to wait some more, there are great preparations underway to make this blog look better. Yup working on a template is harder work than you think it is, unless you're some Computer Club person. But then again you'd be an expert so it doesn't really matter. YL and I will use the new template soon, you have my word.
And you'll find that it's really worth the effort waiting for posts!
Meanwhile go read some other blogs at the sidebar - except my class blog. The content's getting shitty and I think it's full of trash, honestly. Yup that's it.
And you'll find that it's really worth the effort waiting for posts!
Meanwhile go read some other blogs at the sidebar - except my class blog. The content's getting shitty and I think it's full of trash, honestly. Yup that's it.
Monday, October 16, 2006
For those who have fallen
Promos results might be depressing, but you might take comfort in the knowledge that failure is the mother of success. It's been repeated so many times, that even in the recent CCAL Conference, the speaker (some big shot) noted that it was precisely because he failed so many times, which was why he succeeded.
And oops, Michael Jordan said that too. "I failed so many times, and that's why I succeed." - or something to that effect. Even if that quote doesn't make sense to you, it still doesn't change the fact that Michael Jordan is great.
He did mention as well that he missed 9000 shots before he finally turned pro. Now if there's one thing I question, it's his arithmetic ability. I'm sure he actually bothers to count the number of shots he misses? Those Americans are seriously crazy statcounters, or they are a great bunch of liars.
Of course we all know it's the latter.
Anyway, that's not the point. Taking a lesson from Michael Jordan, let us analyse how to succeed.
SUCCESS - is made out of Ss, U, Cs and an E.
Put that into your grades for promos, and you realise.. EH IT FITS EXACTLY. Scoring C, E, S or U does not mean the end of the world, it is merely the beginning of success. You can't succeed until you get that sort of grade first. Those who score As all the way through, you're at a disadvantage. And you know it. Now.
For those who get D and think you are out of range as SUCCESS = {C,E,S,U), don't worry.
There's always the verb, SUCCEED.
Ds are still pretty much in DEMAND. I like.
On the other hand, we see where As lead to.
_ A _ _ _ _ E
The word starts with F and ends with E. Now oops, did I see someone guessing "failure"? Getting As means you get complacent, and even if you don't, you have to keep momentum at the top and not lose steam. I'm not saying that's difficult, I'm saying I'd rather improve than stay stagnant at the top.
Getting 4 As all the time, will it not get boring?
Call it sour grapes if you want, I call it careful analysis of spelling.
So for those who have been getting C and below, my heart goes out to you. After all, having spent more than half my RJ life getting those grades (C to U).. and now that I've got back my promos..
THE TRADITION CONTINUES.
Essentially, this is a post to motivate myself as well. When the A levels come, we'll all get 4 As anyway. Don't worry, it's all under control.
And next time you complain about your C, think of the way you spell "success".
If you spell it any other way, then you fail GP.
(By the way, SUCCESS in French is RÉUSSITE, which shows even more violently how E, S and U will lead you to success. Yes one day we will all get there. Wherever "there" may be.)
And oops, Michael Jordan said that too. "I failed so many times, and that's why I succeed." - or something to that effect. Even if that quote doesn't make sense to you, it still doesn't change the fact that Michael Jordan is great.
He did mention as well that he missed 9000 shots before he finally turned pro. Now if there's one thing I question, it's his arithmetic ability. I'm sure he actually bothers to count the number of shots he misses? Those Americans are seriously crazy statcounters, or they are a great bunch of liars.
Of course we all know it's the latter.
Anyway, that's not the point. Taking a lesson from Michael Jordan, let us analyse how to succeed.
SUCCESS - is made out of Ss, U, Cs and an E.
Put that into your grades for promos, and you realise.. EH IT FITS EXACTLY. Scoring C, E, S or U does not mean the end of the world, it is merely the beginning of success. You can't succeed until you get that sort of grade first. Those who score As all the way through, you're at a disadvantage. And you know it. Now.
For those who get D and think you are out of range as SUCCESS = {C,E,S,U), don't worry.
There's always the verb, SUCCEED.
Ds are still pretty much in DEMAND. I like.
On the other hand, we see where As lead to.
_ A _ _ _ _ E
The word starts with F and ends with E. Now oops, did I see someone guessing "failure"? Getting As means you get complacent, and even if you don't, you have to keep momentum at the top and not lose steam. I'm not saying that's difficult, I'm saying I'd rather improve than stay stagnant at the top.
Getting 4 As all the time, will it not get boring?
Call it sour grapes if you want, I call it careful analysis of spelling.
So for those who have been getting C and below, my heart goes out to you. After all, having spent more than half my RJ life getting those grades (C to U).. and now that I've got back my promos..
THE TRADITION CONTINUES.
Essentially, this is a post to motivate myself as well. When the A levels come, we'll all get 4 As anyway. Don't worry, it's all under control.
And next time you complain about your C, think of the way you spell "success".
If you spell it any other way, then you fail GP.
(By the way, SUCCESS in French is RÉUSSITE, which shows even more violently how E, S and U will lead you to success. Yes one day we will all get there. Wherever "there" may be.)
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Forrest Gump
Sorry if I'm retarded, but do you think Forrest Gump is spastic?
He goes "My mama says life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get."
Somehow I came across this somewhere on the Net, and I don't know if I've said this before - but when you have a box of chocolates, you know you're going to freaking get chocolates. And I don't know what sort of analogy is that, how can you compare life to a box of chocolates?
Anyway I'm sitting around killing time till Monday because I can't wait to get back my promos results. That is because I believe I've waited long enough, and patience isn't really one of my strong points.
In fact, I believe patience isn't even a strong point.
Let's look at it this way: If you are injured, you go to hospital. If you go to hospital, you become a.. PATIENT. Therefore patience is an act of weakness.
Get impatient. Just waste time till Monday.
No one followed the PSI 300 plan, unfortunately, and I've been to meaningless lessons for the past week. I am very disappointed to note that Singaporeans and RJC students aren't that obedient after all. They cannot carry out instructions properly.
Next time go army how?
Okay I think that's a very huge issue to tackle now.
I'm off to waste more time till Monday. Then I will start finding ways to console myself IN CASE I do not get good grades. It's called mental preparation, man.
Meanwhile, don't ever say life is like a box of chocolates. The only thing that is like a box of chocolates is..
..well, another box of chocolates.
He goes "My mama says life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get."
Somehow I came across this somewhere on the Net, and I don't know if I've said this before - but when you have a box of chocolates, you know you're going to freaking get chocolates. And I don't know what sort of analogy is that, how can you compare life to a box of chocolates?
Anyway I'm sitting around killing time till Monday because I can't wait to get back my promos results. That is because I believe I've waited long enough, and patience isn't really one of my strong points.
In fact, I believe patience isn't even a strong point.
Let's look at it this way: If you are injured, you go to hospital. If you go to hospital, you become a.. PATIENT. Therefore patience is an act of weakness.
Get impatient. Just waste time till Monday.
No one followed the PSI 300 plan, unfortunately, and I've been to meaningless lessons for the past week. I am very disappointed to note that Singaporeans and RJC students aren't that obedient after all. They cannot carry out instructions properly.
Next time go army how?
Okay I think that's a very huge issue to tackle now.
I'm off to waste more time till Monday. Then I will start finding ways to console myself IN CASE I do not get good grades. It's called mental preparation, man.
Meanwhile, don't ever say life is like a box of chocolates. The only thing that is like a box of chocolates is..
..well, another box of chocolates.
Friday, October 13, 2006
oral presentation hooooo!
oral presentation is here. the ultimate chance for slackers to pull level with everyone else (not that i am one.) The interesting thing is that one is not graded for what you say, but rather how you say it. That said, why do we even need to follow the project in the first place. Isn't it better to just talk about something totally unrelated to the project but inject passion and fluency? In fact i can write you a script for this. bold is for emphasis
Good morning ladies and gentlemen, what i am going to talk about today is total bullshit, but you're going to have to hear me out because you are my esteemed judges and my future totally depends on you.
Now you may think that talking bullshit is easy, but i assure you that this is not the case. It takes a hell lot of guts to be standing before you like this and telling you the truth about oral presentation, but my omnipresent sense of justice does not permit otherwise.
The fact is that oral presentation, and in fact project work itself, is a total waste of time Why we still have to do it ranks as one of the greatest mysteries in the world, along with that of the Bermuda Triangle and why xiaxue's blog has so many visitors.
The only saving grace of pw is that you get this rare opportunity to hear me speak, which makes it a really good use of time for you, but not necessarily for me. But for my esteemed judges, i am willing to speak to you, for you are the masters of my destiny. To be honest, what I want from you is a recommendation that can propel me straight to university without having to take the 'A' Levels. But knowing that that is beyond your powers, I'll settle for an A. Negotiation can take place during the Q and A session.
Do note that i am having a lot of passion for the topic at hand and that should give me some more marks. Notice also the big smile on my face. *smiles* I have fulfilled all the criteria listed, whatever they are, and feel free to praise me. You're welcome, and I thank you for your kind attention.
Ok so this doesn't take five minutes, but as someone great said," the more the words, the less the meaning" so with this type of quality, who needs to speak for 5 minutes? If they're right about not caring about what you say but instead on how you say it, i don't see how this can fail to score full marks. Now for the q and a section, i'll only think of the answer to one of their general questions, so you'd better pray that this question goes to you.
Q: what has pw taught you?
A: pw has t.t...taught me soooo muccchhhhhh....*tears* Let your tears speak for themselves.
so this concludes my tutorial for oral presentation.
Good morning ladies and gentlemen, what i am going to talk about today is total bullshit, but you're going to have to hear me out because you are my esteemed judges and my future totally depends on you.
Now you may think that talking bullshit is easy, but i assure you that this is not the case. It takes a hell lot of guts to be standing before you like this and telling you the truth about oral presentation, but my omnipresent sense of justice does not permit otherwise.
The fact is that oral presentation, and in fact project work itself, is a total waste of time Why we still have to do it ranks as one of the greatest mysteries in the world, along with that of the Bermuda Triangle and why xiaxue's blog has so many visitors.
The only saving grace of pw is that you get this rare opportunity to hear me speak, which makes it a really good use of time for you, but not necessarily for me. But for my esteemed judges, i am willing to speak to you, for you are the masters of my destiny. To be honest, what I want from you is a recommendation that can propel me straight to university without having to take the 'A' Levels. But knowing that that is beyond your powers, I'll settle for an A. Negotiation can take place during the Q and A session.
Do note that i am having a lot of passion for the topic at hand and that should give me some more marks. Notice also the big smile on my face. *smiles* I have fulfilled all the criteria listed, whatever they are, and feel free to praise me. You're welcome, and I thank you for your kind attention.
Ok so this doesn't take five minutes, but as someone great said," the more the words, the less the meaning" so with this type of quality, who needs to speak for 5 minutes? If they're right about not caring about what you say but instead on how you say it, i don't see how this can fail to score full marks. Now for the q and a section, i'll only think of the answer to one of their general questions, so you'd better pray that this question goes to you.
Q: what has pw taught you?
A: pw has t.t...taught me soooo muccchhhhhh....*tears* Let your tears speak for themselves.
so this concludes my tutorial for oral presentation.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Worst excuse ever
Why do West Ham keep losing their matches?
Because their manager is Alan Pardew.
In French, Pardew sounds like "perdu" - which means "lost".
West Ham better start winning from now on ar! Prove my hypothesis wrong.
Because their manager is Alan Pardew.
In French, Pardew sounds like "perdu" - which means "lost".
West Ham better start winning from now on ar! Prove my hypothesis wrong.
Monday, October 09, 2006
WTH?
This is the greatest irony of the school CCA system.
RJC only grants a certain CCA (let's say Cross Country) DSA students if they finish first. Well Cross Country Boys did finish first the previous year, so that's why we had some DSA J1s this year.
However, as Cross Country had to dismally finish FOURTH this year, we are not allowed DSA next year.
Now think about it. Isn't it stupid? Precisely because we finished fourth which is why we need the DSA to improve our performances.
Looks like RJC with all its ideas of elitism has done it again - DSA making the strong stronger and the weak being left to rot. That's seriously RJC tradition. Like how they treat those who got GPA 3.8 and above like God (or at least relative to other students) while faguts like me fall by the wayside.
No help then no help la!
I think next year my Cross Country chances of getting Top 20 as high of getting Chemistry Top 20.
Well, if I even make the team in the first place haha.
RJC only grants a certain CCA (let's say Cross Country) DSA students if they finish first. Well Cross Country Boys did finish first the previous year, so that's why we had some DSA J1s this year.
However, as Cross Country had to dismally finish FOURTH this year, we are not allowed DSA next year.
Now think about it. Isn't it stupid? Precisely because we finished fourth which is why we need the DSA to improve our performances.
Looks like RJC with all its ideas of elitism has done it again - DSA making the strong stronger and the weak being left to rot. That's seriously RJC tradition. Like how they treat those who got GPA 3.8 and above like God (or at least relative to other students) while faguts like me fall by the wayside.
No help then no help la!
I think next year my Cross Country chances of getting Top 20 as high of getting Chemistry Top 20.
Well, if I even make the team in the first place haha.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Instructions - PLAN PSI 300
Okay owing to PSI levels hitting 150 now, we've received new instructions from.. one of my friends.
I was thinking about it while watching news (or rather while my parents were watching news while turning on the sound REAL LOUD), because they did mention if the PSI hit 300 they'd have to stop school.
While physical activity is not recommended for PSI 51-100 and banned from PSI 100 onwards. And by the way, I'm not making this up - TCS isn't totally fiction if you haven't realised by now.
So I decided to give haze an ultimatum: 1) get down to zero so I can make my legs ache again or 2) get up to 300 so NO MORE SCHOOL. Since it's at PSI 150 now, it should be equally easy to reach either side.
But considering PSI 0 would be perfect and we all know that utopia doesn't exist, I think we should whack it up to 300 and just let school be cancelled. After all, the threat of doing PW is worse than the threat of dying from haze. I don't know about all of you but I have aircon and you must realise that we at TCS aren't exactly morally conscious people.
Here's the plan. Courtesy of my classmate.
' los dazzling soup says:
QUICK EVERYONE PROMOS ARE OVER
' los dazzling soup says:
BURN ALL YOUR NOTES
' los dazzling soup says:
MAKE PSI RISE
' los dazzling soup says:
THEN SCHOOL WILL CLOSE
- yj [ no. 10 ] says:
LOL
- yj [ no. 10 ] says:
three hundred.
- yj [ no. 10 ] says:
what are the chances
' los dazzling soup says:
very good if you all obey!
' los dazzling soup says:
start now!
- yj [ no. 10 ] says:
LOL
..and here we go! Wheeeeeee!
Talk about burning stuff today some old man was downstairs burning incense at the void deck of my block. Which kinda made me incensed but then again with this newly-formulated plan I think we should encourage all senior citizens to start paying respects to their ancestors NOW!
We call it PLAN PSI 300. GO GO!
(Edit: And maybe Singapore Pools could have betting. Like if the PSI is going to rise in the next hour, and all the various margins that it would change by. Ladbrokes and the English bookies have so much crap to bet about (eg if Beckham vomits in his next match), we could challenge them by offering such services too. Crap bets. Then another source of income for the Pools or the gambler, depends if I am the gambler or not. Anyway, considering that air pollution is air pollution, and Singapore Pools, being the Pools, shouldn't be much affected at all. Yup cheers.)
I was thinking about it while watching news (or rather while my parents were watching news while turning on the sound REAL LOUD), because they did mention if the PSI hit 300 they'd have to stop school.
While physical activity is not recommended for PSI 51-100 and banned from PSI 100 onwards. And by the way, I'm not making this up - TCS isn't totally fiction if you haven't realised by now.
So I decided to give haze an ultimatum: 1) get down to zero so I can make my legs ache again or 2) get up to 300 so NO MORE SCHOOL. Since it's at PSI 150 now, it should be equally easy to reach either side.
But considering PSI 0 would be perfect and we all know that utopia doesn't exist, I think we should whack it up to 300 and just let school be cancelled. After all, the threat of doing PW is worse than the threat of dying from haze. I don't know about all of you but I have aircon and you must realise that we at TCS aren't exactly morally conscious people.
Here's the plan. Courtesy of my classmate.
' los dazzling soup says:
QUICK EVERYONE PROMOS ARE OVER
' los dazzling soup says:
BURN ALL YOUR NOTES
' los dazzling soup says:
MAKE PSI RISE
' los dazzling soup says:
THEN SCHOOL WILL CLOSE
- yj [ no. 10 ] says:
LOL
- yj [ no. 10 ] says:
three hundred.
- yj [ no. 10 ] says:
what are the chances
' los dazzling soup says:
very good if you all obey!
' los dazzling soup says:
start now!
- yj [ no. 10 ] says:
LOL
..and here we go! Wheeeeeee!
Talk about burning stuff today some old man was downstairs burning incense at the void deck of my block. Which kinda made me incensed but then again with this newly-formulated plan I think we should encourage all senior citizens to start paying respects to their ancestors NOW!
We call it PLAN PSI 300. GO GO!
(Edit: And maybe Singapore Pools could have betting. Like if the PSI is going to rise in the next hour, and all the various margins that it would change by. Ladbrokes and the English bookies have so much crap to bet about (eg if Beckham vomits in his next match), we could challenge them by offering such services too. Crap bets. Then another source of income for the Pools or the gambler, depends if I am the gambler or not. Anyway, considering that air pollution is air pollution, and Singapore Pools, being the Pools, shouldn't be much affected at all. Yup cheers.)
haze again
One dark and hazy morning yh and i went for training. yes, despite the haze.
but when we got there, ck came and said," i came to tell you all not to train, cos of the haze"
But then, we each made a one hour journey from home and it would be a waste of time if we didn't.
luckily, sk solved our problem by telling us, " aiya yesterday night psi was 80 only la, still below 100, can train".
Furthermore, there were little kiddies already swimming around, not floating (means not dead yet). And here we were like cowards afraid to exercise? No way man.
So in we went, happily. And stayed there for quite some time.
Then came out and went to school. To find out that the psi was a freaking 130 that morning!!!
*cough cough* die la.
And i realised the newspapers haven't been giving many guidelines about how to deal with the haze. So i'll give you some pointers.
1. Don't laugh. im serious. When you laugh, you breathe in vast amounts of the polluted air, then all the dust particles get stuck in your throat, then you gag and choke and die X.X
2. Always breathe in through your nose. Your nose acts as a filter for all the dust particles. Be sure to clean your nose every 30 minutes, otherwise it will stopper up and you will be forced to breathe through your mouth which may result in the consequence of 1.
But then in reality you people should take in deeper breaths of the dust particles so that there'll be less of it for me to breathe in. So that's all for now.
Oh and miao came up with the revolutionary car-powered bicycle.
but when we got there, ck came and said," i came to tell you all not to train, cos of the haze"
But then, we each made a one hour journey from home and it would be a waste of time if we didn't.
luckily, sk solved our problem by telling us, " aiya yesterday night psi was 80 only la, still below 100, can train".
Furthermore, there were little kiddies already swimming around, not floating (means not dead yet). And here we were like cowards afraid to exercise? No way man.
So in we went, happily. And stayed there for quite some time.
Then came out and went to school. To find out that the psi was a freaking 130 that morning!!!
*cough cough* die la.
And i realised the newspapers haven't been giving many guidelines about how to deal with the haze. So i'll give you some pointers.
1. Don't laugh. im serious. When you laugh, you breathe in vast amounts of the polluted air, then all the dust particles get stuck in your throat, then you gag and choke and die X.X
2. Always breathe in through your nose. Your nose acts as a filter for all the dust particles. Be sure to clean your nose every 30 minutes, otherwise it will stopper up and you will be forced to breathe through your mouth which may result in the consequence of 1.
But then in reality you people should take in deeper breaths of the dust particles so that there'll be less of it for me to breathe in. So that's all for now.
Oh and miao came up with the revolutionary car-powered bicycle.
Dark Ages
There's something funny about Midautumn Festival being right in the middle of this haze. Because now the lanterns really come into use. You really need to use them to find your way around now.
Those indons burning forests need a conscience.
Those indons burning forests need a conscience.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Haaaaazyyyy!
To quote a certain ardent fan of this blog (Seetow aka anonymous), "the stupid indons are blurring our skies". If you don't believe me, look up at you'll find that this is true.
Okay perhaps not, if you're reading this after I just published. The haze usually somehow or other gets better in the evening, while it gets worse in the morning. Then at night it gets better again. People tell me it's because you can't see anything in the night, but I tell them they are being racist.
Next time your parents tell you not to play too much computer because it deteriorates your eyesight..
..just tell them: "it's not my eyesight, it's the haze."
Classic - and you can get away with it because that's the truth. Hazy skies for the win! Excuses abound!
On less relevant news, today was the first day of CCAL conference. The speakers made highly suggestive remarks which was rather amusing.
Examples include quotes from the lecture given by Mr Sivadorai S to the Sports CCALs.
"You call me Mr. S (ass)? Wait till I call your Mr. P. I'm not going to spell out the rest for you."
WHY P? WHY WHY WHY?
(asking Jude's Favourite Lad about hockey training)
"In hockey, after you take out the sticks and balls (in that order), you do your stroking, what else?"
I was thinking, perhaps after stroking there could be shooting. Of course, I didn't say that but everyone laughed at his comment.
By Mr Kevin Low (on some deputy head of the RJC board of governors),
"He's part of the main shareholders of BritishIndia. And he's really very successful. So I went over to his farm, and I got to rub shoulders with him."
There was something more suggestive than that but I can't remember the exact phrase.
The guest of honour, Mr Gordon Aw I think, wasn't willing to lose out.
"Who watched Titanic more than 4 times?" (a totally meaningless question)
then.. "so which part did you like best?" (like we don't know what's he referring to)
There might be some other quotes, but my memory fails me tonight. So I'm afraid I can't provide you any more entertainment - if you want just crash Part Two tomorrow. The lecture's at 8am at PAC. You don't have to take attendance, JUST CRASH.
But don't get caught sleeping like me or you're dead. Yup.
Okay perhaps not, if you're reading this after I just published. The haze usually somehow or other gets better in the evening, while it gets worse in the morning. Then at night it gets better again. People tell me it's because you can't see anything in the night, but I tell them they are being racist.
Next time your parents tell you not to play too much computer because it deteriorates your eyesight..
..just tell them: "it's not my eyesight, it's the haze."
Classic - and you can get away with it because that's the truth. Hazy skies for the win! Excuses abound!
On less relevant news, today was the first day of CCAL conference. The speakers made highly suggestive remarks which was rather amusing.
Examples include quotes from the lecture given by Mr Sivadorai S to the Sports CCALs.
"You call me Mr. S (ass)? Wait till I call your Mr. P. I'm not going to spell out the rest for you."
WHY P? WHY WHY WHY?
(asking Jude's Favourite Lad about hockey training)
"In hockey, after you take out the sticks and balls (in that order), you do your stroking, what else?"
I was thinking, perhaps after stroking there could be shooting. Of course, I didn't say that but everyone laughed at his comment.
By Mr Kevin Low (on some deputy head of the RJC board of governors),
"He's part of the main shareholders of BritishIndia. And he's really very successful. So I went over to his farm, and I got to rub shoulders with him."
There was something more suggestive than that but I can't remember the exact phrase.
The guest of honour, Mr Gordon Aw I think, wasn't willing to lose out.
"Who watched Titanic more than 4 times?" (a totally meaningless question)
then.. "so which part did you like best?" (like we don't know what's he referring to)
There might be some other quotes, but my memory fails me tonight. So I'm afraid I can't provide you any more entertainment - if you want just crash Part Two tomorrow. The lecture's at 8am at PAC. You don't have to take attendance, JUST CRASH.
But don't get caught sleeping like me or you're dead. Yup.
Screw up newspapers and make a name for yourself!
It's ridiculous how boring sunday times can be. Take for example the fitness section where people email in photographs of their bodies and then describe how they achieve it. Which of course reinforces the perception of looks being all-important in our superficial and shallow society. Which of course should not be the case. But the worst thing is that it's so godamn boring. Almost everyone says
the same things. Sample below:
Diet: I try to avoid oily food. I only allow myself some on special occasions. I eat 10 boiled eggs a day. I take plenty of carbohydrates and buckets of protein drink. I keep my meals small, so i eat more often (way to waste your time, you vain idiot)
Exercise: I go to the gym x times a week (where x is equal or more than 3) i do bench press, and whatever other stuff they have in the gym. I also have dragon boating training x times a week (don't know why these people usually from dragon boating). Which means i like spend half my life exercising and the other half resting from the exercise.
Which brings me to my conclusion that these people have nothing better to do than to spend their lives obsessing over their bodies and making them buff.
The Challenge
The Challenge is to send in a picture of your buff body, hell, it doesn't even have to be your own body, there's so many pictures on the internet, and write your diet and exercise as such (or to similar effect)
Diet: Oh i don't have any restricitons on diet, in fact i eat oily food like KFC chickens and char kway tiao for every meal. I love fats. After every meal, i wash them down with soya sauce. yup, i drink it. And every night, i eat a tub of ice-cream.
Exercise: What exercise? Oh you mean watching television and studying. I do that all the time. No wonder i have such a buff body.
I wonder what'll everyone's reaction be. At least it's a break from what we see every sunday.
Another challenge is for thursday's urban part of the newspaper. If ever anyone of you ever get chosen for the 'hey, good-looking' section, be sure to be armed with this reply:
reporter: Do you think you are good-looking?
you: No way man, i think i look like frankenstein.
help make singapore newspapers more interesting.
the same things. Sample below:Diet: I try to avoid oily food. I only allow myself some on special occasions. I eat 10 boiled eggs a day. I take plenty of carbohydrates and buckets of protein drink. I keep my meals small, so i eat more often (way to waste your time, you vain idiot)
Exercise: I go to the gym x times a week (where x is equal or more than 3) i do bench press, and whatever other stuff they have in the gym. I also have dragon boating training x times a week (don't know why these people usually from dragon boating). Which means i like spend half my life exercising and the other half resting from the exercise.
Which brings me to my conclusion that these people have nothing better to do than to spend their lives obsessing over their bodies and making them buff.
The Challenge
The Challenge is to send in a picture of your buff body, hell, it doesn't even have to be your own body, there's so many pictures on the internet, and write your diet and exercise as such (or to similar effect)
Diet: Oh i don't have any restricitons on diet, in fact i eat oily food like KFC chickens and char kway tiao for every meal. I love fats. After every meal, i wash them down with soya sauce. yup, i drink it. And every night, i eat a tub of ice-cream.
Exercise: What exercise? Oh you mean watching television and studying. I do that all the time. No wonder i have such a buff body.
I wonder what'll everyone's reaction be. At least it's a break from what we see every sunday.
Another challenge is for thursday's urban part of the newspaper. If ever anyone of you ever get chosen for the 'hey, good-looking' section, be sure to be armed with this reply:
reporter: Do you think you are good-looking?
you: No way man, i think i look like frankenstein.
help make singapore newspapers more interesting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
