How to garner amusement

Before we start on more serious topics like the Bishan Gay, I thought I'd talk a bit of nonsense about what I did for the past few days - ie planning forfeits.

It can be quite an enjoyable process, especially if you have another kokster planning with you. Amusement is guaranteed if you know how to implement it well enough. Next time any of you need to plan forfeits for games, THIS IS DA SITE FOR YOU MAN.

Acknowledgements to my fellow forfeiter Xiong, who doesn't sound as fierce as his name. Never mind that.

POSSIBLE FORFEITS

1. Spell out your name using your arse. If your name is under 10 characters, spell (insert a name of a certain loser here, preferably a longggggg one) instead.

2. Stick a piece of masking tape onto a certain part of the body. Doesn't have to be in the arse, it could be on the belly or something. Then ask the person to SHAKE IT OFF. If you are an evil fag, you could tell him/her that using other items are NOT ALLOWED. Good luck have fun.

3. Lambada your way through and sing a song. If you don't know what a lambada is, go Wikipedia or Google it. Or just take it from me that it's a real stupid move where you shake yourself like a.. shaking chicken and move back and forth retardedly. With a partner, but as this is a forfeit the loser will have to do it alone.

Better yet, you could ask him/her to find a partner to do it with him/her. And if he/she doesn't manage to convince anyone, make him/her SING while doing the lambada. I can guarantee it's super embarrassing. Oh, and better still if it's a stupid song he/she is singing. Try Aqua, they're really dumb.

4. Make it a dare. Tell the security guard, "your cool uniform so turnsss me onnnnnnn" (unisex dare pls) or tell an obese punk in the pool that he makes you melt. Of course all these are going to make me puke but I trust that when it comes to dare many can come up with even better ideas than me.

Oh and a quote from an anonymous person - telling the security guard, "oh your tight pants makes my pants even tighter." Assuming that the guy taking the forfeit is a.. guy. And no I swear that didn't come from me.

5. Do charades, and give REALLY STUPID CHARACTERS. Examples include: George W Bush, Michael Jackson or more recently posted here - THE BISHAN GAY. Watch and squeal with delight as they try to imitate these.. fags.

6. Do a pole dance, with someone else as the pole. This is quite a favourite among most.

Yup hope this will come in useful someday - in perhaps bizarre circumstances, but every bit of information is still information. So if you need forfeits, here's the place. If you need more sadistic ones, can come look for me. Or concoct your own stuff (ie FOOD) haha, though that's pretty standard.