Settle for half

i'm very free again. not long after my previous post i decided to read "a view from the bridge" - that's our lit book - FOR FUN. then i thought about settling for half. then i thought about my good friend danny. and HIS good friend whose name starts with L and ends with L. and then i put down my book and came here to blog.

now.. what is settling for half? i realise that i'm kind of an alfieri because i don't take sides, but hmm this is like so pertinent to the future of the world that i have no choice but to interfere and to offer you my point of view. if i dont say it out i might feel uncomfortable for the whole night.

the dilemma: DANNY OR SENG KONG

yes i know you've probably heard all these before and its probably even sounding cliché now. but then again danny's friend starting with L and ending with L cannot possibly let herself (oops) be wholly known! she must settle for half, that she must.

so since danny+ seng kong = 1,
and the assumption that danny = seng kong,
settling for half means: DANNY OR SENG KONG

okay so here we are. let me first make this clear: i've known danny and seng kong for 4 years and i really think that both of them really deserve l____l. but as i've explained earlier you can't handle both - oh you can't handle the truth!! so l____l must settle for half.

EH WHAT THE *BEEP* I THINK I'M TALKING IN CIRCLES! THIS IS NOT GOOD!
OKAY LETS GET TO THE MAIN FACTS!!

...

let me now present the case on why DANNY should be the chosen half:

danny is a coolio. he's like, in ihtimam's words, danny murphy. he chooses charlton over liverpool and thus is reflecting a very cool outlook. danny is hardworking although he acts like he plays dota. okay yes yes many people know the story about danny giving up l____l for dota/wc but i can tell you its not true!! its a bunch of lies! how can danny play so much when he's training most of the time? danny would not be so silly to give up a girl just solely for computer games. PLEASE. danny has so much more style than that. he has elegance, sleekness and the mark of a champion.

i end off his testimonial with a quote from long kok wank.
"danny is a totally brilliant boy. he freaking pwned me in dota. when he finished, he told me that l____l was calling him and he would never play dota again just for her. i found that especially touching, even though it wasn't me. and he also sent me l____l's pic and i'll always be grateful to him for that. now i can wank my kok and live up to my name."

why SENG KONG should be the chosen half:

many think that seng kong is a malaysian, but i beg to differ. i mean, he is a malaysian but who really cares about that. people say to l____l, "i could tell you things about seng kong that you wouldn't wave to him no more" but that is so childish of them. that is just so wrong. seng kong is not a rodolfo and is not after l____l for any citizenship of any sort (refer to a view from the bridge pg 43). in any case, seng kong is the STRONGEST MAN in the world. that i can safely vouch for it because he trains gym and can lift like the whole stack of weights. lincoln luk trembles when seng kong the great enters. seriously, he's so damn strong that people start to suspect that seng kong is a machine. he also trains damn hard and was the FASTEST man if not for stupid edward who beat him in water and for the more stupid me who beat him on land. but relax, he has slowed down because of a special someone. and that is why seng kong should be the chosen half - he sacrificed his speed for her, and that is something to be respected.

lets end this off with a quote from long kok wank again.
"seng kong is my monitor and he does an excellent job in managing the class. i've never had much trouble from him because he assists me with such great efficiency and plus he is a very helpful boy. you will find in 4b classroom below the noticeboard that someone has scribbled "seng kong loves l____l" and i think that is very true. totally unquestionable. i respect seng kong with all my kok and i will not wank again."

er yes. now for a little bit of negativity:

why DANNY should NOT be the chosen half:
who's he kidding? he's obviously choosing dota over l____l. its a known fact and we all know it. plus he flirts. although he claims he doesn't he tells lies!

quote from seng kong as to why danny should not have l____l:
"whatever la.."

why SENG KONG should NOT be the chosen half:
cos he's got an ulterior motive!! he's a rodolfo!! and because he plays polo with such tremendous might that he might end up treating her with the same amount of strength! P = VI, are you sure you want seng kong who's got an infinite V and a crazy high I?

quote from danny as to why seng kong should not have l____l:
"whatever la.."

for the sake of being neutral. now i'm not about to tell lies! because i'm supposed to give you all an objective point of view so i'm presenting factual arguments now. if you don't like it i don't care you can go report to kenneth low for all i care. i stand for my rights to the fallacial essay-writing technique called "POST COC". thus from all this i think we can derive at some conclusion.

i think danny's case is quite weak, as compared to seng kong's. but danny's criticism is quite weak, as compared to seng kong's. to err is human and to be IMBA is dota. as i do happen to take quite some interest in dota i think i might have to be slightly imba here. so despite all this talk about being a neutron i'm actually a cation. or an anion. in any case i secretly support one of the candidates. you don't have to speculate if it's danny or seng kong because i'm telling you now.

i'm not telling you!

that's so THE DIFFERENTS. a quote from their song, "and her name was.. I CANT TELL YOU!" haha.

i hope that if danny or seng kong reads this they're not gonna kill me? because i meant no harm. like i said i'm a neutral. sigh.. this debate, yet again, is getting nowhere. i dont know if i should state my conclusion.

if you'll remember not too long ago there was this case about timo. and a certain "short, dark judoka". (that directly quoted from "only the truth" newspaper in 4b) well i tried to interfere and take sides but in the end they showed me what settling for half really was. the judoka turned violent and told timo to wring my neck. i was left with half a neck, though nowadays they say medical science is so advanced you can do almost anything. well i did get it back. but for half a day i had to settle for half and that was dangerous.

i tell you, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. i got that one bad.

which is why i started training my 2.4 time in order to avoid these embarrassing situations.

BUT WAIT. what if l___l reads this?

she's a fencer.

meaning she's armed. probably with a LONG LONG sword. and she would hack to kill.

i'm in an extremely dangerous situation now.

two boys at both sides, one fencer in the dead centre wanting me dead.

i'm talking cock. and after this i'd probably be a dead cock.

OKAY OKAY! I'M SORRY!! taking sides is not good after all. i'm not letting myself be wholly known. i'm going to settle for half and just present the argument without the answer. and that's it. the very experience of the last time i tried to take sides just strikes fear in me. i'm not doing this again, no. i'm not supporting anybody to get l____l. i'm minding my own business.

i'm leaving.

(turns around)

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~