Idiots on the Train

Right after the movie Snakes On A Plane comes Idiots On The Train. The variety of idiots on the train is simply mind-boggling. The bad thing about this is, well, they're idiots. That's not exactly my problem. But being idiots, they do some things that annoy me, and perhaps that's the bad thing. The good thing is that it gives me inspiration for this post, and gives me something to do on boring train rides. Like a naturalist studying animals under the microscope, i meticulously note everything down. And then i categorise them.

Rocker

This person is a rather mild form of idiot because it is quite amusing to watch him. With headphones or earphones on, this person would start rocking along with the music to the amusement of all the other passengers. Maybe he just likes the attention his idiocy brings. Or maybe he's really 'in da zone' if you get what i mean. Too engrossed by the music to care about what other people think. In other words, music is his life and soul, and that gives him the rebel attitude to heck all the other people. Rebel. Actually, I don't find anything wrong with that. But he's like, wasting energy. Energy costs a hell lot of money these days. This energy can be used for other purposes such as producing light instead, and if all the rockers did that, then the world wouldn't have an energy crisis.

The music player

There are 2 varieties of this type of people. One uses earphones and blast it so loud that everyone around can hear the song. I assume the person is deaf or something. Or the ears are fake. But this type doesn't seem so bad. At least they try to keep it private. It's not their fault their ears don't work well.
The other type are worse. They play the music on their handphones out loud, as if trying to prove to the world they have a phone with that capability. Bloody show-offs


The hairy monster

If your legs are like those below, then...














wear long pants for god's sake. Or don't sit down. Or if you do, then don't spread your legs wide and act as if everyone likes the touch of leg hair on skin. Because it's fucking irritating. My wish is to bring along a lighter on the train and set your whole freaking forest on fire just like the indons are doing to theirs. We would have haze but i don't care.

The pole dancer

Now imagine yourself on a crowded train. You're looking for the metal beam to hold on to in case someone jumps onto the mrt tracks again and the train brakes suddenly. The vertical metal is right in front of you. Unfortunately, the pole dancer is leaning on the beam, such that you can't hold on without him leaning on your hand, which he eerily doesn't seem to mind. You might think pole dancers usually have ultra sexy and svelte bodies, but this one certainly doesn't. You can see the fats on his back squeezing against the pole, and yucks, i'd rather fall down than get a handful of animal fat.

The blocker

This person has no sense of space. He thinks he deserves lots of it even though he paid the same fares. Acts blur when the announcement for people to move to the centre of the train comes. Nothing funny to say about them because they're just idiots

The high-metabolic rate type

Ah this is the interesting one. At first glance, you wouldn't be able to spot him. But look again. There, there's that movement. May be the twitch of the lips, or the hands that cannot stop touching himself, but there's no end to his movement. I've seen one who can't stop twitching his mouth. Seems irritating at first, but after a while it's amusing. After all, the idiot probably has no idea how weird he looks in front of other people with all those funny actions. Therefore i conclude he probably has a high metabolic rate and has to keep moving. Look out for these people. They're everywhere if you look close enough.

So that's the end of the idiots on the train, hope you had a nice ride.