About dentists and soccer

I visited my dentist yesterday, and just because I didn't blog about it in the past doesn't mean it's uneventful. I always enjoy the visits to my dentist because I always get amused. That doesn't mean I come out of the room for the better.

In fact, I usually come out of the dentist's like I've been punched in the mouth. Probably not too far from the truth. Let me give you a lowdown on why my dentist is scary:

1. She has lots of sharp metal instruments. (okay granted she's a dentist, duh)

2. She is rather strong and is not afraid to exert force if the need arises, or even when the need does not arise.

3. She has a tendency (and probably an obligation) to put these sharp metal instruments into my mouth.

The final reason, and the most scary of all:

4. She has a poor aim.

So often I come out like I've had the life sucked out of me. Not exactly, just some blood that's drained. Always when I rinse my mouth I look forward to seeing the water in the colour of iron ferranocyanate. (not sure of spelling)

Basically it's RED. And okay maybe I don't really look forward to it after all.

The thing about my dentist, she likes to talk cock. Which is why I don't really mind bleeding away while she does her thing. She's got an old assistant but they are all quite funny. And they actually think I'm very smart and that sort of ego-boosting is very good for a guy with very low self-esteem like myself.

Conversation usually goes like this (I'd be wearing some form of school uniform when I go to the dentist's somehow):

D(entist): Wa you from Raffles ar. (she forgets EVERY DAMN WEEK)

Me: Ja.

D: RI or RJC? (ANOTHER QUESTION SHE FORGETS. do i look very young?)

Me: RJC. J2. (then i get some metal on my enamel)

D: Oh are your exams over? *at the time it wasn't*

Me: Not yet.. coming up in a month's.. OUCH

D: Oh sorry. Did I hurt you? So how have the tests been.. should be quite okay for you right, RJC people all very smart.

Me: (unable to reply because now the suction thingy is in my mouth and more metal instruments are in. but i think yea right that's what everyone says, popular overrated misconception of the century)

D: Haha so A Levels confirm all As right.

Me: (thinking WTH WHY ASK ME THOSE QUESTIONS WHERE I HAVE GOOD REPLIES WHEN I CAN'T REPLY) mfffgghh! mfff!

D: Oh did it hurt? Sorry ar.. just bear with it.

Me: ...

D: What course you going to do in uni next time? (she's really friendly, I say)

But by then I am unable to reply because one of the sharp instruments is already half in my gum and I am tasting saline for some reason. I start to think about the consequences should be a brain surgeon operating with a scalpel instead of these.. things.

Hmm maybe I should take up Dentistry. Then maybe some sod can blog about me while I happily spam metal into his gum. Which will NOT be fillings.

Anyway, that was about all I wanted to say about dentists. I can continue the story another day. More importantly, TCS has turned into a punter ground and I will be giving you a match preview of the BIG MATCH..

ENGLAND VS CROATIA

Much as you think this match is gonna be big, I say it's going to be super boring because we all know England is not easily beaten at home and Croatia is just plain lame for losing 2-0 to FYR MACEDONIA. Don't even know what FYR stands for. Silly retards.

And the pre-match commentary amuses me to a great extent. Let me give you a graphical representation.

Tough words from both sides, though what they are thinking are probably a whole different issue altogether. Let me give you another representation of what might be running through their minds.

Yup so we all know that actually they really cannot be bothered. I mean think about it. Logic dictates that both sides would want to earn favours for themselves - and if they were to get a package deal for both to qualify.. WHO WOULD DECLINE?
Symbiosis is always good. When both parties benefit, you don't question so much, you just go for the benefit. And that is why I think it's going to be.. you've guessed it.
A DRAW. What's more it's going to be a drab and boring draw.
talkcocksummit's prediction..
or rather just mine: ENGLAND 0 CROATIA 0
Take my word for it and don't watch that stupid match.
Someone is going to be very thankful for Israel's win. Not only is that going to keep his place in the squad, but tonight he'd also have nothing to do because of the England-Croatia Football Treaty So That Everyone Can Qualify.
That bloke is no other than..



MISTER ROBINSON. And if you're sharp and observant enough to notice the score in the top corner, it reads Croatia 2-0 England. With good reason, too, I might add.

Well symbiosis and both to qualify for Euro 2008, I'd say. But after that.. they can both go screw themselves and get knocked out in the first phase because don't we all know these two teams are bloody lousy, going by such a long qualification route in such a damn lousy group.

I shall favour Slaven Bilic's Croatia to win, however, because he was a former West Ham defender. Hammer means power. But my prediction will not change and should the match end in any other result..

No it won't. And that's all I have about dentists and soccer.