Destress!

Have you ever wondered what people do to get extremely good results? Wonder no more! Here is what people actually do to maximise studying time!

#1 Don't care about hygiene. Shaving? That's for wussies. I mean look at Einstein, maybe it's all the hair that made him so smart. Hair=intelligence, doesn't matter where it grows out of. Maybe hair grows at places where there's a brain!

#2 Don't ever dig your nose. I mean, how can you study with your finger up your nose? Your hand would be a distraction while you're doing that. Not good. If your nose gets too clogged up, i recommend the vacuum cleaner. Gets the job done quickly and effectively.

#3 Despite not caring about hygiene, you still have to shit! If you don't shit you become so full of shit that you explode from all that pressure inside. Now what you don't have to do is wipe your ass. Your underwear will do the job for you. If you've ever wondered what underwear is for, that's what it's for.

Don't believe? Let me tell you about the evolution of the human underwear in human culture. Probably all of you know about the loincloth. Different places used different materials to make them. So people living in jungles used leaves, people living in savannahs used grass, and people living on the coast used leaves too (look at Hawaii). And people living in the desert used sandpaper ahaha, the root of grouchiness and resulting violence. But why was there the loincloth? Long time ago, people used leaves, sticks or whatever is at the place where they did their business for the important task of wiping their asses. But then they got sick of picking up something to use, only to find that it has been used by someone else for exactly the same purpose! ewwww. So anyway, they demanded personalised stuff, so someone smart invented the loincloth for wiping ass. It wasn't the cleanest way, but at least you know where it has been, and some are reusable. But slowly, people realised they didn't want others to find out they had just shit from the brown patch on their backside, so what did they do? They invented pants, and the loincloth evolved to become the underwear bcause it was no longer worn on the outside. But sadly, not many people know this piece of history.


#5 Showering. This is optional, for when you have time to enjoy life. Again, let us look at what history can tell us. Long ago, man was purely a land animal who didn't like water, just like the chimpanzees and gorillas. Then one day, while he was sitting on a rock on the seaside, he saw a mermaid. All the hormones sprang to life, and with a perverted grin, outstretched arms and weird grunting noises, the idiot jumped into the sea without a second thought. Needless to say, the man drowned and the mermaid swam away, disappointed. But the family of the drowned guy, who knew what happened, couldn't tell the others that he had been such an idiot. And so they made up a story, saying that the guy went into the sea and enjoyed it so much he floated away and never came back. Some believed it, and lo and behold, man learnt to swim, after much trial and error and deaths. What has this got to do with showering? Nothing. But the only reason i can think of for showering is to avoid body odour. Imagine that we were all selfish people who don't care about others' sense of smell and just stopped showering, and singapore wouldn't have to buy water from malaysia anymore.