The Authoritative Dummies' Guide to Ipoh

There is only one place where there are flights into Ipoh Airport, and fortunately enough for me, that is Singapore. There are only two airlines serving this route. One is Malaysia Airlines, and the other is Firefly. This trip is the first time that I have heard of Firefly, and it is also the first time I have sat on a propeller airplane. This plane did not even need a separate gangway. The plane door opened downwards into steps and those were enough to reach the ground.

The good thing about such a small plane is that I can close my eyes and imagine it is my private jet. Yes, I'm not the very demanding kind, a small cozy private jet will do. Of course, the fact that I just stepped out from the skanky Budget Terminal somewhat spoils that illusion. The Budget Terminal is designed not to look good. If it did, nobody would pay to dock their planes at the other terminals. I find immense similarities between hospital corridors and the corridors of the Budget Terminal. When there are windows, they are small and narrow. The linoleum floor looks sticky and bare. And then there is always the delay. But these are trifling matters, and all is forgotten once i get on the plane.

If you take a plane to Hong Kong from Singapore, for example, the plane seems to go right out into the sea, goes up, all that can be seen are clouds, and then I go to sleep. But on this flight to Malaysia, as the plane makes its way north-west, I can see the entire Singapore on one side. Not half of it if the plane had flown right on top of Singapore, but the entire country from coast to coast as the plane flew along the northern coast of Singapore. A sobering sight that says without words how small Singapore is. Meanwhile, on the other side, Malaysia stretches as far as the eye can see.

Normally, at Singapore airport, when planes land, they brake, and then they slowly taxi around while saying 'please keep your seatbelts on yadayada'. And even when it stops, everyone stands in anticipation with the luggage in hand waiting for them to connect the walkway and open the doors. At Ipoh Airport, the plane just brakes, stops right there, and then it's 'You people get the fuck out'. No need for parking, no need for walkways, nice and simple.

And when you walk out, it's just lepak. No rolling meadows or beautiful landscapes that might imply tedious maintenance, just some messy plants and low-rise buildings that look like they could be there forever. The town probably looked the same 40 years ago, with the same shophouses selling the same things. Getting around without a car is like being physically handicapped. Walking for distances longer than from the parking lot to your destination in Ipoh is like cycling to your destination in Singapore. It's just not designed for it. In many places, there is a lack of pavement.

Like many other places in Malaysia, the food is the standout point. Even to someone like me for whom food is mere sustenance that we shit out at the end of the day (or the start of the next day), the food was good enough to merit a place in my memory. The enormous prawns at a seafood restaurant were awesome, as was the white coffee at the birthplace of OldTown White Coffee. It was way better than the ones at the chain stores.

And there I was being a parasite to society for the few days. It is remarkable how the day flies by just by having three square meals a day.