The Happiness Equation

There are 29342059802938402938029384 stars in the sky. There are 6974000000 people here on earth. And there are 9 days left to the final examinations. The typical reaction is 'Fuck'. But it is unhealthy to be so negative. God only took 7 days to create the world. With 9 days left, a palpable sense of optimism still hangs in the air. That's right. Don't make allowance for dead chicken before they hatch.

It is at this still-high point, before descending into the depths of the valley of doom, that one wonders about happiness. What does it take to stay on cloud number nine? Why do people fall into the depths of despair? Do we have an equation for this? Indeed, many a philosopher has attempted to rationalise it. Some say that it depends on the happiness of others. Some give a list of 100 factors that influence happiness. Some say it is Biological Set Point + Conditions + Voluntary Activities. The last one merits some explanation. Having the Biological Set Point means that some are more predisposed to be happy than others. Conditions are things that are more constant over time, while voluntary activities are the things that supposedly make us happy because we choose to do them. But this seems wrong. Sometimes, I don't even know why the fuck I'm walking around like I've got the biggest balls in the world. Like a boss. Sometimes, the exact same conditions can generate different moods. When I walk through Bedok, my thoughts have ranged from 'biggest old folks home and asylum in singapore' to 'quaint old town with character'. And sometimes, voluntary activities like plucking up courage to step out of the comfort zone just backfires like a missile gone wrong.

I am relieved when Prof YJ of Lepak101 fame says the academic consensus has long been that HAPPINESS= REALITY / EXPECTATION. This is simple enough to understand. At this time and place, at least, grades are the most relevant example. If I only expect to pass, and the reality is that I get a B-, then it will feel like a stairway to heaven. Happiness has a value of more than 1.

So is that all there is to happiness? About setting expectations low? Yes, but that is the hard part. Can you tell the perennial overachiever that all he should expect is to pass? He may tell you that is exactly what he expects, and he wouldn't be lying (A+ is still passing), but burgeoning ambition and the perfectionist streak must inevitably inflate his subconscious expectation. When he doesn't get his A+, it's still the highway to hell. At this point, managing expectations seems to be the key. We could just alter our subconscious expectations.

But altering our subconscious expectation is like tearing away a part of our soul. Voldemort could do it, but maybe not mere mortals like us. This subconscious expectation is such a part of us it might even be in the DNA. So you might blame your parents. Anyway, in the hierarchy of deep-seated beliefs, this one is so deep that to drag it out would be to turn you inside-out. Have you tried unconverting a Christian? Yes, it's going to be harder than that.

Fortunately, there is a way other than to alter the subconscious expectation. I wouldn't post this here if we didn't have a happy ending. We have talked about the Expectation part of the equation. The magic happens in the other part, which is reality. Admit it, you didn't think we could change reality. But we can. With a magical tool called self-delusion that, if powerful enough, washes away all the pains and sorrows.

So let's say a chick tells you 'You're ugly'. That reality is probably lower than your expectation, which is 'Hey I'm no Brad Pitt, but I'm above average (Note: EVERYBODY thinks they're above average)'. So reality is lower than expectation, which would lead your happiness ratio to be less than 1. Here's where self-delusion kicks in. You just think of a reason why it's not true she thinks you're ugly, and of course then it hits you...she was talking to the dude behind you!

And there you have it, the key to happiness is self-delusion.